Here's a quick little script I wrote in pretty much one sitting. In this headcanon, the opossums were the last ones to join the group before RJ.


Context: Ozzie and Heather have been living alone for 15 years, pretty much isolated from any sort of interaction with other animals (Ozzie always tried to avoid them). They have been wandering around the forest as nomads, never settling down in one spot for long. It is early in the morning, and they have just woken up from sleeping on a tree branch. It is the first day of spring.


As they wake up in the tree, they hear a nearby commotion and footsteps through the grass. Ozzie becomes alarmed and jumps to his feet.

Ozzie: (Gasping) What is that?

Heather: Let's check it out!

Heather begins to scurry along the branch, but Ozzie yanks her back.

Ozzie: Heather! We can't just wander ourselves into these things! We don't know what it is! What if it's a predator?

Heather: Daaad, there's not gonna be, like, any predators here! They sound like nice voices. Ooo, what if there's, like, some other animals there?

Ozzie: We don't know that, Heather! That's what they want us to think! They could be luring us into their wicked grasps, waiting for their chance to pounce at our naivety!

Heather: (Sighing) You're overreacting again, dad. You said that those pReDaToRs weren't that smart!

Verne's group approaches the area of the tree.

Verne: And so, here in this area we have-

Stella hushes him up as the group begins to hear voices other than their own from nearby. Ozzie and Heather were still arguing up in the tree.

Stella: Y'all here somethin'?

They fall silent, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. Once the group stops talking, Ozzie immediately grabs Heather close and hushes her, hoping not to be seen. From the branch, Heather peeks over out of Ozzie's grasp and spots the wide array of forest critters - it was something out of her dreams. She was always waiting for the chance to finally talk to other animals, possibly ones she could relate to, and not just Ozzie. She gasped. Ozzie sharply pulled her head back from the edge.

The group hears Heather and looks up into the tree, unable to see the opossums hiding on the branch. Verne scans his head around the branches of the tree, confused.

Verne: Um… He- Hello? Anybody there?

The opossums are silent. Ozzie is tightly holding Heather back from revealing herself to the group.

Verne: Anyone at all…

Quillo: Ooh! Maybe we need to call for them!

Bucky: Yeah, like those dumb birds!

Spike: (Imitating a bird call) Tweet tweet!

Penny: Hush! We don't know what this is.

Verne: If, um, you're up there… We've, uh, got some food we're gathering…

Heather: (Her face lighting up) Food?

Verne: Y'know, we could use some extra hands-

Stella places a hand on Verne's shoulder to stop him. She was losing her patience.

Stella: A'right, you fellas better show those faces of yours! We're not gettin' any younger down here!

Verne: Stella! Give them a minute!

Stella: C'mon Verne, we got better things to do!

Suddenly, they hear knocking on the tree. Ozzie was knocking on the branch with his knuckles to indicate that they were there and listening.

Verne: Come on out. We're not looking for harm…

Ozzie slowly peeks his wide eyes over the edge of the branch down at the group. Verne knew that they heard more than one voice in the tree.

Verne: (Sarcastically clearing his throat) Ahem!

Heather's wide eyes slowly slide out over the branch next to Ozzie's. Opossums were foreign to some of the group. Others had heard of them, but never encountered one directly. Verne knew more about them than the others.

Verne: Opossums?

Stella: (Confused) 'Possums?

Hammy: Wait, what's a 'possum?

Verne: Hold on, hold on. I've seen guys like them before.

Up in the tree, Heather made the executive judgement that the group was friendly.

Heather: Hurry up, let's go!

Ozzie: Wait!

Ozzie tries to stop her, but she scurries her way down the tree with her claws to the group, and Ozzie swiftly follows her. He lands on the ground and catches his breath while Heather observes the group beginning to surround them. They started to survey the new animals. The porcupine kids approach Heather, who is suddenly overwhelmed by the attention.

Bucky: Woah, look at that tail! (Picking it up)

Heather wiggles her slender tail out of Bucky's hands.

Spike: Why's it so long?

Quillo: (Laughing) It looks like a worm!

Lou: (Ambling over to them) Woah, one at a time there, kids! One at a time. These fellas just got here, y'know.

Ozzie groups up with Heather, who is still being toyed with by the kids. He is rather nervous to be surrounded by such foreign figures. He starts to feel a bit woozy. Stella is the first to approach Ozzie.

Stella: So, you two got names or what, big guy? (Immediately noticing that he was taller than the others in the group)

Ozzie steps back a bit from Stella and snaps back to his senses.

Ozzie: (Hesitant) Uh, yes! Yes! I'm Ozzie, and this is my daughter-

Heather stops him.

Heather: (Rolling her eyes) Dad… I'm Heather!

Hammy zips up to Heather and stands right in front of her, a bit closer than she is used to.

Hammy: Heeey, that's a cool name! I wish my name was cool like that! Something like… (he thinks) A-ha! Steve!

Heather: (Not really knowing how to interact with others) What, um… what is your name?

Hammy: (Frantically) Huh? Oh yeah, I'm Hammy! Rhymes with Sammy! Hey, follow me!

Heather: Um… okay.

He led her around the group and introduced her to the others.

Hammy: That's Lou, that's Penny! There's Stella! (He lowers his voice to an excited whisper) Don't forget that one, because she'll get MAD if you do!

Stella: (From nearby) I hear that squeakin' over there, squirrel!

Heather: (Curiously grinning) So, you're a squirrel?

Hammy: (Nodding his head rapidly) Uh-huh!

Heather begins to turn her head and look all around Hammy.

Hammy: (Confused) What's wrong? Is there something in my teeth?

Heather: (Realizing how awkward she was being) Oh no, no, sorry! Wow, I've just… I've never seen one up close! Dad always kept us far away from, like, everyone

Hammy took his turn observing Heather.

Hammy: Heyyy, what's that thing? (Pointing to the small pouch on her stomach that was just barely visible under her fur)

Heather: That's a pouch. We're marsupials, y'know.

Hammy: Marsupi-wha?

Heather: (Embarrassed) Nevermind, dude. So, what's shakin' here?

Hammy was losing focus again.

Hammy: Hmm? Oh, we just woke up from winter! Have you seen any nuts around here? I know I put them somewhere… (He starts scratching his head)

Heather: Wait wait wait, you guys sleep during the winter?

Hammy: Us? Nope! But Verne does though! We just sit in the Log with him! (He laughs) He likes company.

Heather: Huh… (She begins to think)

Hammy: Hey, wanna be friends?

Heather: Friends?

Hammy: (Giggling) Yeah, they're great! Verne's MY friend, and he scratches my back all the time!

Heather: Huh, maybe I could use a back-scratcher too!

Heather and Hammy continue their talk as the others are talking with Ozzie. He was beginning to become overwhelmed with questions.

Stella: Where y'all come from?

Ozzie: Up from the north! We've, uh, we've travelled a lot.

Lou: You guys been living here for a while?

Ozzie: Oh no, no! We just arrived in the winter. We're still looking for the perfect spot to settle down.

Verne: Well, you two are welcome to stay with us. If you want…

Lou: Yeah, we're a family here, y'know.

Ozzie: (Starting to think about the memories of the family he lost shortly after Heather was born) Family?

Stella: Uh-huh. That's what these fellas like to call it.

Ozzie knew he had already taken Heather too deep into this. There was no turning back now. He might as well get them accustomed to their new "family" as quickly as possible.

Ozzie: (Still hesitant) I… I think we'd like that.

Heather and Hammy meet back up with the others.

Lou: Come on, let's give a warm welcome to these fine fellas!

As the group began to crowd around the opossums once again, Ozzie began to feel dizzy. Heather stood right beside him and could tell that he was about to do his "thing".

Heather: (Holding one arm around his back) Dad, you 'kay?

Ozzie was overwhelmed with emotion as the animals cheered around him. He had never been met with such direct attention in his life. Especially from people he knew so little about. His life was a stage play, but it was only now that he was actually met with an audience. His mind went numb as the cheers faded down into a meaningless, constant noise in his head. Heather tried to catch him as he fell backward, but was unable to hold his weight. The others gasped. Heather looked down to him as her face began to flush.

Spike: Woah, is he dead?

Quillo: Maybe he had a heart attack!

Heather looks around to the others, feeling her face become more heated than ever.

Heather: No no, he's just, uh… (looking down to Ozzie and whispering urgently) Okay, show's over now, dad! I'm sure the crowd's just drooling over that act! Dad?

She lifts one of his limp arms up and down, but with no response. He was completely out. She takes a heavy sigh.