"Thom is going to propose to Madge tonight. If they both make it," Gale says.

I look up from the grass I am braiding in my hands and stare hard across the valley. This angers me, and I am not sure why. Gale senses my unease and sits up to watch my response. "You think that's a bad idea?"

A long moment passes and I don't move. Finally, I sigh. "No, they are good together. He makes her really happy. I just- I hate that everyone waits until after their last Reaping to do stuff like that."

"To do stuff like what?"

"To make real plans for a life and a future and I don't know, happiness…and all that," I say.

"It doesn't mean much to promise someone your life if the Capitol takes it away minutes later. Tonight, he can give her a real future," Gale replies. "I mean, being a miner's wife is gonna be a shock after growing up as the mayor's daughter, but it's a future."

"I hate that we give the Capitol the power over our lives like that. We have hardly anything left in our control as it is," I mutter.

"What would you have him do?" asks Gale.

"They want us to give up, to let them control every part of our lives. He should make his own plans, to make his choices based on what he wants. What he needs. He should propose when he feels like the moment is right, not when the Capital allows it," I erupt. "Damn kid should have proposed weeks ago."

Gale studies my face, like he is seeing me for the first time. I flush and go back to the grass in my fingers. After a moment, he clears his throat and says, "Katnip, that's…I had no idea you still had that much hope."

"I don't. Or at least…I didn't… But Dad always did," I pause when Gale winces. Talking about our fathers is still painful, even five years after we lost them in a mining accident. "Recently, I keep thinking he would have wanted more for me. I have never wanted to plan a future. I don't study, I don't take dating seriously, I have never wanted to start a family… because it would be too painful to lose everything. But…I think Dad would tell me making choices based on fear is letting the Capital win."

Gale tenderly tucks loose hair behind my ear, watching me carefully. I look up at him and his eyes are shining, searching me. The past year it has been hard to ignore the shift between us. We stand a little closer than necessary, linger at our rock a little longer. It has been months since either of us dated anyone else. But I have always been clear- I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want marriage. I don't want children. It takes everything I have to keep my mother and little sister, Prim, alive. Except for this nagging feeling that I am letting my father down.

Gale's hand slides slowly down my arm, wrapping his fingers in mine. "We can, reconsider, the rules of our partnership, if you want," he says softly. I cradle his hand in my lap, tracing the lines of his palm while I think. We sit there for a long while in silence.

When the sun clears the horizon, Gale clears his throat. "Guess we should get started." I nod, suddenly not trusting myself to speak. The lump in my throat has made it hard to breathe. Gale stands, and offers me a hand. As he pulls me to my feet, he sees the tears I am desperately trying not to let fall. "Oh Katnip," he moans, pulling me into a tight hug. "She'll be fine. Prim will be fine." I nod and choke out, "Forty-two," squeezing him harder. He has forty-two slips in the bowl. Forty-two chances he will get Reaped and I will lose him forever.

He kisses the top of my head then pulls back to look me in the eye. "Listen to me, we will be ok. No matter what. I've got your back, and you've got mine." I nod, desperate to believe him, desperate to live up to my father's hope, desperate to show the man in front of me how much I care about him. I pull him to me by his shirt collar and he eagerly fills the space between us. As his mouth meets mine I am filled with the scent of pine, homemade soap, and something distinctly Gale.

The kiss burns, but I want more. I slide my arms down his back to pull him tighter and part my lips slightly, giving him room to deepen the kiss. He moans and obliges. I am unraveling in his strong arms and it feels amazing. It feels like coming home. His hand comes up to cradle my chin as his tongue teases mine and suddenly I am choking.

I scream and gasp for air, fighting my way free of the large figure in front of me. My vision is blurring, everything is swimming in front of me. I can't breathe. I am going to die. I start screaming for help. My mouth tastes like cigarettes and white liquor and I am gagging. The figure is shouting at me, trying to grab me. I have to get away from him. He is going to kill me.

I tear my arms out of his reach, kicking and stumbling away from him as fast as I can. I have to run. I have to find my bow and defend myself, but I can't breathe. There is darkness closing in around the edges of my vision and I hit the ground. I am too dizzy to stand back up. I claw at the dirt, desperate for something to hold onto but I can't feel my hands. I can't hear anything but the pounding of my heart in my ears. My chest is going to explode. I can't breathe. I CAN'T BREATHE. This is where I die.