About the author: Mankind had proven itself to be such a shitshow that your reigning celestial being of choice has decided to move back to Mars and give the dolphins another chance.

"I'M STILL AT MY LOW POINT!" The Protagonist said.

"Why?" A supporting character supported.

"Well, if I was written by a shitty writer like J.K. Rowling, it's because the antagonist is literally inside my head."

"But that means if we overcame your flaws, you'd lose your character flaws and become the most boring entity in your own narrative!" The supporting character(s) characterized. "Can't we just constructively confront your character flaws?"

"Sounds good!" The Protagonist said, overcoming their internal conflict. "Let's go solve the overarching conflict!"

"No!" Said the antagonist as their schemes were undone and they suffered consequences for their actions.

"What about the peripheral narratives we caught glimpses of along the way?" The Protagonist asked.

"Well, it's possible they got resolved." Said the character the Protagonist looks up to. "If they didn't, then maybe they'll get addressed in a sequel. If this story gets a sizeable following, they might even get turned into their own spinoffs!"

"I'm a romantic interest!" Said the romantic interest whose relationship with the Protagonist developed in some say.

And then everyone lived happily ever after unless they didn't.

THE END

Unless it isn't.