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Just got another little Wesley/Lilah idea here, and it takes place between Seasons 3 and 4.

The door to Wesley's apartment opened as he came back home. The place was empty, it always used to be that way, but nowadays, he felt much more lonely that before in here, because he had lost it all.

He'd just come back after a night of hunting some Vamps with his new mercenary group. They weren't like what he used to have, but they were dedicated and loyal at least.

Loyal, how he hated that word now. His own loyalty had cost him what he used to have. He'd thought he was doing the right thing, and that had led to one huge mess.

He put his bag of weapons down and looked at himself in the mirror. He used to be clean shaven and wore glasses, and a suit.

Now, he wore casual clothes, and was unshaven, letting a stubble grow, and didn't even bother with glasses, in spite of using a lot of firearms.

He didn't even recognize the man he saw anymore. He might loathe his old friends for abandoning him, but deep down, he knew he'd brought it on himself.

If only he had spoken to someone, if only he had thought about it more.

But who would he have spoken to? Angel was the subject of the prophecy, Cordelia was on vacation with the Groosalug, and Fred and Gunn were a couple, which he almost couldn't bear, because he loved Fred.

But then again, was that a good enough reason to not talk to them? He had told Gunn that Fred had made her choice, so he should have been okay with it, right? She was happy, so why did he feel the need to interfere?

He liked to think he'd changed a lot from the pompous, arrogant Watcher who'd first come to Sunnydale, and that he had, but in other ways, he was the same.

This was like Faith all over again.

Dear God, Faith! He had messed up Angel's attempt to reach through to her, and she had gone off the deep end, even torturing him, and then gone off to prison when Buffy had interfered. At least he'd made it right with her by trying to protect her from those assassin brutes the Council had sent, at the cost of never joining them again, but he didn't have to.

Still, Faith was in prison instead of being the moral Slayer like Buffy she had always wanted to be deep down.

And Connor, the poor baby had been taken to the darkest Hell because he hadn't cared to talk to anyone, and taken it all upon himself. The poor boy had paid the price for his mistake, abused by Holtz and turned into a living weapon.

Now Angel was missing too, and Wesley had no idea what to do about it.

It was his fault, he had failed everyone he cared about, he was completely worthless. The man he was seeing in the mirror wasn't worth a thing.

With a roar of rage, he shattered the mirror with a punch, his hand bleeding.

"Geez, here I was thinking I'd never have to play nurse."

Wesley turned around to see Lilah Morgan standing there, her arms folded, a smirk on her face as she walked in.

"What are you doing here?" Wesley asked as she shut the door.

"Got a break", she shrugged to him. "And seems like you can't even give yourself one."

"What is it to you?" Wesley asked her as they were now inches apart.

"You don't like what you've become, but you know that's who you always will be now", Lilah told him. "Learn to accept it."

Wesley sighed. "What do you get from that?"

"Everything", Lilah shrugged as Wesley chuckled, knowing her original intentions very well.

"None of you are getting me", Wesley shook his head.

"You still think you're too good for us?" Lilah asked as she ran her hand over his face. "Let's see, Angel's son was in a Hell Dimension for years from his point of view, then turned into a killing machine, and now Angel is missing while your throat is sliced and they don't want you back. You aren't too good for us."

"If you think that, you don't know me at all", Wesley said as he grasped her hand, leaning in to kiss her as she returned it, and they parted, a little breathless.

"I know you better than anyone", Lilah smirked, pushing him to the ground as she climbed over him. "And now you feel all sorry for yourself."

"I suppose you never do that", Wesley told her.

"No, if I make a mess, I fix it, actually wait, I don't, I have others fix it for me", Lilah told him as she undid her coat while Wesley started undoing his shirt.

"So you think I should do that too, huh", Wesley noted as he started slipping out of his shirt while Lilah threw off her coat.

"If you had people to fix it for you", Lilah told him with a cruel smirk as they kissed once more. "But we both know, all you have is me."

"Unfortunately", Wesley said as Lilah chuckled while undoing her shirt, and they continued like that, because whatever this was, it was all they had.

All they had was each other.


And done again, hope you liked it.

See you all next time with some other update. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!