Paul had learned a lot of lessons over the years.

When he got dragged into attending different musicals by his parents, he learned that the best way to avoid them was to pretend to be sick or, when he got older, busy at work.

When he got harassed by the local delinquents at school, he learned that there were certain places that he could hide in to avoid them.

After he got beaten up by a guy for talking to his girlfriend at a senior party, Ted dragged him to when they were sophomores; Paul learned he would never go to any party that Ted would.

But even after all those lessons, there is one that he never seems to know, which was never to involve his friends in his love life.

"Hey, guys, could I ask you a quick question ?"

Unfortunately for him, that was mistake one -(Always only ask Bill, Charlotte, and maybe Ted to quietly meet with you when you want to ask something because everyone will want to know). Almost everyone in the office at that point turned towards him. His heart pounds. He didn't want this much attention.

"I want to ask someone out, hypothetically for... a friend!"

He could see Ted roll his eyes at that point.

Paul gulps as he continued " I was wondering what the best thing to do was."

Second mistake-Saying it out loud to everyone.

And unfortunately for him, it was Ted who brought up his advice. "Let me guess; it's for the Latte Hotty?"

Paul blushed at that "No-I-it... it's for a friend it is for a friend his name is-uh...Jon from... Illinois."

Ted grinned as he rolled his eyes. "You couldn't even make up a friend who lives somewhere nearby."

"No-I mean, the only other option is Clivedale, and I'm not ready to sink to that level."

Ted laughed. "Want my advice? Tell her how she makes you feel."

Paul looked at him, confused "Wow, Ted, that's actually pretty decent advice."

"No, no, no, you didn't let me finish. I mean, how does she make you feel? Do you-you know? You feel happy around her?" Ted gave a slight grin "Like, how much do you think about her sexually?"

Paul looked at Ted in horror "No, that's not what- I meant-I mean-"

"Ted!" Bill barked at him. "That is so inappropriate."

Ted just smirked at him. "Who are you, my mother?"

"Well, I wouldn't have to act like one if you quit doing that to people."

"Bill it-that's okay it just-" But Paul ended up drowned out by both Ted and Bill arguing. "Okay- uh..."

I need a distraction...

"Melissa !"

She looked up from her computer cheerfully.

"Wait a minute," she said, turning to Bill and Ted "You two-SHUT UP!"

Both Bill and Ted stiffened at that.

"Okay, Fine" Ted said, crossing his arms.

Bill looked more ashamed "Sorry Melissa."

"What is it, Paul!" she chirped at him.

He looks at her nervously "What's your advice?"

That was mistake number three -asking Melissa about anything romantic.

Her eyes lit up as she jumped up and down her chair.

"Yayyyyy! Paul, I can't believe that you found your true love.".

Paul put his hands up. "Melissa-what-I just-"

She ignored him as she grabbed her notebook and opened it. "Well, the best way to get to a woman's heart is to show your love for her, maybe a song about how pretty she is-no, you don't like musicals. Or maybe you could order some flowers and chocolate to show how much you care. Or-"

Paul holds up his hands "Perhaps not… I'm sorry Melissa, she doesn't strike me as the type that likes those kinds of over the top stuff. I should know…."

He had seen someone trying to ask her out that way, and she turned him down quickly.

Melissa looked at him, disappointed, but then she perked up, looking at him hopefully.

"So, she's got simple tastes!"

Paul smiled nervously "I'm going to ask someone else…"

Melissa, though disappointed, nodded and smiled. "Have fun with your lover."

Paul just blushed as he settled down to continue with his work.


Many of his co-workers came to him to give him their advice throughout the day, but it didn't work out well….

Marina- If you're too shy to give her a gift in person. then send her a secret message and call yourself her secret admirer. (but Paul never really liked the whole secret admirer or Santa stuff; It made him too nervous) Mr Davidson- Try telling her how beautiful she is, how she's your muse. The apple of your eyes, your source of light...Oh, Carol…( Ended up being about how much he loved Carol and how beautiful she is) Jake- most ladies like gifts, so maybe you should give her one. Then you should give her another on the first date, and she will take it-but if you don't, then she will refuse to go with you because she says that she just wants a gift, so you go to the mall late at night to get one- and then when you try to give her more she only takes and takes. THEN WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING FOR HER, SHE TOLD YOU WE'RE THROUGH-(Ended up ranting about an x-girlfriend who broke up with him…)

At that point, it was his lunch break, and Paul knew instantly that all of that advice that he got would probably not work out. So he went to the only other people who could give him relatively sane advice.

Of course, unsurprisingly, it was Bill and Charlotte that gave out the more sensible advice.

"Why don't you talk to her?" Charlotte asked as she stirred the coffee pot

Paul shrugs "How could I-I mean how can I ask her?"

"Be polite about it. Manners never hurt anyone." Charlotte said, sitting down.

"But will she go out with a guy like me?" No, she wouldn't, You're not her type.

"Yes, she will" Bill sat next to Paul and placed a hand on his hands. Paul blushed a little at that. "It's up to her, though. I mean, sometimes you don't always get the girl," Bill said. "But you are pretty nice to her. And everyone knows you wouldn't say anything rude to her"

"But-"

Bill gave him a kind smile as he traced small circles on Paul's palms, calming him down. "Just be yourself and take your time with this. You don't need to rush it out."

"I agree with Bill," Charlotte said., "It's like planting a garden, just let it grow into something beautiful."

Paul smiled "You two are right. I'll just take it slow" He stood up and looked at his phone "I only got 20 minutes left. I could go ask her now at Beanies."

Suddenly, Ted appeared at the door "But you didn't invite me."

"Because you're not invited" Bill cried out, exasperated.

"Not with that attitude I'm not, Bill!" Ted yelled.

"Okay guys, calm down!" As Paul began to try and defuse the situation, Bill and Charlotte's words echoed in his head. Just be yourself and take your time with this.


Paul nervously walked up to Beanies and opened the door, the bell ringing as he walked in. A man rushed past him, angrily mumbling about being in a hurry.

"Emma, for the last time, stop insulting the customers!"

"Well, do you think that it's okay for him to say that stuff to me, Nora!" Emma cried out.

The woman with the curly hair, Nora, just sighed. "Just don't do that again."

Emma just rolled her eyes. "Okay, then."

Paul took a deep breath before walking up towards the counter, mustering up all his courage.

"Hi Emma" She turned around, and when she saw Paul and smiled. "Hey, Paul, how are you?"

"I'm good," Paul replied.

"Nice to hear," Emma said., "Let me guess? you want black coffee?"

Okay okay okay, you can do this.

"Yes and also, can I ask you a question?" As he said that, Paul noticed Nora and the other girl (Zoe? Xena?) turning around, interested.

Emma looked up, puzzled "What is it?"

"I'm just wondering, I think that you're a coff-cool girl."

Take it slowly, no need to rush….

"and do you want to, you know, maybe later this week go out for coffee or something?"

Emma blinked for a few seconds, as Nora and- Ann?- began to whisper to each other, looking pretty excited.

"I mean you don't have to, I mean, oh God wait-I-"

You fucked it up like you always do, of course, you did, you always do dumb shit like that, Of course, you did, why would she date a useless screw up like-

"Paul?"

He looked up to see Emma actually smiling at him.

"All right, So we will do it once, and we'll see how it goes."

Paul just blushed. "What is the best time, maybe Tuesday, Wednesday?"

"What about a Friday night? I don't really have work that day.," Emma suggested.

"Mostly because you're about to smooch your boyfriend!" Zoey? yelled out

"Shut up, Zoey!" Emma yelled back at her before turning back around to him. "So Friday at 6 pm?"

Paul quickly nodded "Yes, Friday at 6."

Emma just smiled. "So do you want your usual?"

Paul smiled lovingly. "Yep, I want my usual."


Enjoy this chapter folk bc I'm throwing angst soon... want a hint?- "Ativan calms me when i see the bills
These are a few of my favorite pills."