I hate cleaning up

I thought as I picked up a pile of dog shit.

I wish I had someone who could be my wife, and clean up after me. That'd be the life.

I walked back to my castle. Having your own planet is great and all, but cleaning it up alone sucks. Good thing is, I have space to do whatever I want. I wanted to do something, something new.

You know, I think I'll go to another planet today. Maybe go to an amusement park.

I headed to a water park on earth. Unfortunately, turned out it was exclusive to humans. As normal, I shapeshifted to the species required. However, this time was different. I realized that I wasn't getting anywhere otherwise and I might as well use my shapeshifting for something more useful than getting into bars and water slides. I immediately raced back home with new exuberance. When I got there I needed to figure out what to do first. I decided to build up the partitions between the castles. Each castle would be restricted from the other castle. That way, they'd never meet each other and I wouldn't have to find a new way to prevent that.

Alkazar, you are brilliant! I should kiss you!

A week later I finished those up. I decided to build one castle right now, since I wasn't trying to go bankrupt. I called the company but they said that building a castle was going to cost tons of money. When I saw how much, I thought I had to call the number to find out! I mean, that is criminal.

Oh, well.

I payed it but saved some money by installing it myself. Took a long time, but it was worth it. I sat down and went online to find a fish to hook.

What a bunch of losers

I thought as I went through the various chatrooms online. None of them were the last of their species. I moved through, chatted with a couple aliens and eventually found my way to the lonely ladies chat. I thought I wouldn't find anybody, but I was pleasantly surprised. I saw a pink, 5-eyed cyclops. I shapeshifted to appear like a male of her species. Then I approached her, nervously trying to look as smooth as possible.

"Hello there."

"Ohhh my god! You're another quinclops!"

"Oh. Yeah, whatever."

"I thought I was the only one!"

"So did I. That's why I came. I found you and just had to meet you. But there isn't much time. We are the last two of our kind. I alone populate our planet. We need to repopulate our planet."

"Hey, I'm not that kind of girl!"

You're losing her. Promise her a marriage or something, whatever

"I don't expect you to be. Meet me at our planet when we're ready. I can promise you a marriage, and ruler status in our homeworld. You're the messiah!"

I turned and walked out, then ran into my spaceship and raced back home. I had to put up some quinclops art. I had researched them, then destroyed the last remaining document related to their small population's existence. However, I hadn't thought I'd run into one.

Oh well, who cares about one little lost species?

I only had five pieces of artwork remaining that related to them. I put them up hastily, and tore up a couple so that she'd understand that we had been attacked and almost wiped out. I had just finished and wanted some Slurm when her spaceship landed.

To be continued...