To my darling Timothy as you enter university,

As I write this I know I don't have long to live your father still refuses to believe there's no cure but I know I am dying. You are currently in your bedroom doing homework, I wish I could help you but I don't have enough energy to move from the sofa.

I'm sorry I was not there to see you grow up, I'm sure you've become a fine man like a father – perhaps you have followed him into the medical profession? Perhaps you've decided to be an artist or a musician? Whatever it is you have chosen to do I'm sure you will excel at, and if you don't then I will still be proud of you. All I ever wanted for you was for you to be happy. Please don't do whatever you think would make your father and I proud or what we expect of you. Follow your dreams not ours.

I hope you are happy. I hope your father moved on from me and you have a stepmother who loves you, perhaps even one you can call your own mother, and a brother or sister to keep terrorising them once you've left home and to keep them company when they miss you. Maybe one of the nurses from Nonnatus? They're the only women he gets a chance to see that aren't patients – your Dad is too right to break taboos and marry someone he shouldn't. You just wandered in and asked why I was laughing – I told you it was because I had thought of a funny joke but really it was because I was imagining your father charming a nun into marrying him. Can you imagine?

I wish I could be there to see you off into the real world but I cannot and for that I am sorry. I know we've never been the most religious family but if there is an afterlife then I shall do everything I can to watch over you and make sure that you are safe and loved.

I know your father will raise you right but there are three pieces of advice I want to pass on as you become a man:

1 Always be kind

2 Always wrap up warm

3 Never turn down the opportunity to eat, drink, or go to the toilet. You never know when the chance may come next.

Look after your Dad for me, and live your life so that you can make yourself proud as we will always be no matter what you do.

I love you always,

Mummy