what are you after, some kind of disaster?

- Some Kind Of Disaster by All Time Low


"Okay, no. Go back." Yuck's fingers rub circles against his temples; the incredulous laughter coming out of his mouth that sounds more like coughing makes Yin want to punch his teeth in. Give him a real reason to have a headache. "You're gonna have to say that again, I didn't catch that."

Liar. Yin knows he heard her perfectly fine; he just wants to humiliate her even more. A sigh, as she levitates closer to him. She already regrets doing this, but at this point it's too late; she's already said too much to just take it all back.

This is a terrible idea. She knows it's a terrible idea, and she's had pretty awful ideas before. Programming artificial intelligence into the Woo Foo Battle Cruiser so it could act as her boyfriend is right up there, but what she's about to do might just change that. At this point, it's not like she has much of a choice.

"I…" Geez, it's like every word coming out of her mouth is a tooth she's pulling out with pliers. It almost makes her wish she was doing that instead of...this. She closes her eyes, not wanting to see his stupid, smug grin; all she needs to do is just say it and be done with it.

"I need you to go out with me".

The second those last words leave her mouth, all she can think of is running away. Locking herself in her room at the dojo for all eternity. Or hitch a ride to Antsylvania and change her identity. Maybe dig herself a hole all the way to the earth's core so no one (and especially NOT Yuck) can ever find her again.

She hears Yuck snort loudly, followed by cawing and beating wings above the treetops.

Gritting her teeth, she forces her eyes open to find Yuck doubled over as he wheezes and- ugh, he's even slapping his knee, even going as far as wiping 'tears' from his eyes. His laughter is hideous to her; like a hyena that's got something stuck in its throat. She doesn't bother masking her annoyance while she waits for him to stop; "Are you done yet?"

"Wow, I didn't even-" Another laughing fit cuts him off, then a sharp exhale as he tries to compose himself; "I didn't actually think stupidity was contagious or anything, but your brother finally got to you, huh?"

"Don't talk about him like that. Actually, don't talk about him at all." Only Yin was allowed to call him an idiot because, as his sister, she never really meant it; no one else could be trusted to do the same and especially not Yuck. (Not even if, currently, Yin isn't exactly on the best terms with him). "And if you call me an idiot again-"

"Aw, my bad. 'Desperate' is what I meant to say."

Yuck tilts his head, a blue Foo Orb missing his face by inches and tearing a tree off its roots behind him.

"Shut up! I'm not even talking about REAL dating, you jerk!" Yin hisses, another Foo Orb hovering ominously over her open palm. "I just need someone to pretend they're dating me!"

"And you're asking ME? Don't you have a whole army of stupid friends for that?" A dramatic sigh and a shake of his head. "Desperate."

The next Foo Orb, he doesn't avoid in time. It knocks the wind out of him, doubled over in pain as he glares at Yin, now crossing her arms and looking down at him smugly.

"What, you really think you were my first option? Don't be so full of yourself."

What she doesn't tell him is that she didn't dare ask any of her friends in the Woo Foo Army to begin with. Between all of them, there were plenty of reasons to pick from- either they're already in a relationship (like Lena), or there's already romantic history between them that didn't end well (like Jobeaux), or they don't swing her way (like Roger Jr- he hasn't come out to the team yet and Yin won't be the one to expose him, but everyone can tell), or they're just not her type in that sense (basically, the rest of the army).

But most importantly... "And I'm not about to use any of my friends just to pretend we're dating. That's horrible."

"But using me is fine?"

"Oh, shut up." Yin hisses, and for a moment Yuck actually stops. For a second she thinks she shouldn't feel this triumphant, but she does anyways. "You don't get to complain about that; YOU pretended to date ME for your own gain before, remember? At least I have the decency to let you in on the plan without pretending to be someone else."

Yuck stares at her for a few minutes too long, expressionless save for a raised eyebrow, before shrugging. "Fair enough. But I'm still not hearing a reason why I should go through this for you."

Ah. A good point. Yin had hoped that once she was face to face with Yuck, an idea would come to her. But now that she's actually reached that point, she's drawing up blank. "I'll pay for food sometimes?"

"Try again."

"Yang and Master Yo are gonna be upset?"

"Hm. Tempting, but there's a million other ways I can also do that."

"...You get to spend time with a cute girl?"

"Hey, sweet!" Yuck's face lights right up in mock surprise as he looks around. "When do I get to meet her?"

"Oh SCREW YOU!"

Yin chucks a third Foo Orb, but in her enraged outburst it goes so far off, Yuck doesn't even need to move to dodge it. It just makes him burst out laughing again, and she doesn't know if she should Transfoomate him into Twonicorn dung or just burst into tears out of frustration at this point.

"You think I want to do this!? I literally have NO idea what else to try!" She growls, pulling down on her ears to drown out Yuck's laughter. It's a childish move (even if she's just 14), but she doesn't care. "I can't deal with Coop chasing after me anymore! No matter how many times I tell him to back off, he keeps coming back! So if me dating someone else - anyone else - doesn't get him to back off, then-!"

"Did you say Coop?"

Yin stops, her ears slipping from her hands. Yuck straightens up, all trace of humor gone as he looks strangely and unusually serious all of a sudden. "Coop? The chicken?"

"...Yes?"

"Sterotypical nerd, wears dumb glasses, has workout wristbands even though he clearly doesn't work out?"

Yin slowly nods, and Yuck's eyes narrow. "'I'm going to stab the Night Master in the back at the very last second after months of gaining his favor' Coop? THAT Coop?"

"How do you…" Oh right, Yuck had joined the Night Master by the time Coop was already doing undercover work for him, hadn't he? It makes sense that they would know each other; it's just that it had never been brought up so it had slipped her mind until now. "I mean, yeah, that's him."

Yuck purses his lips and turns to look to the side, with a look of utter disdain that she's never seen before in his eyes. The way his hands ball into fists so tightly she can audibly hear the knuckles crack immediately worry her, making her question her life choices for the fifth time already.

"I'll do it."

"You will?" He would? Even though this had been her 'last resort' kind of plan, Yin had gone in with a 99% certainty that Yuck would refuse. Hearing him agree like that instead now makes it seem too easy. "Wait, are you really agreeing to pretend to date me just to spite Coop?"

"You pretty much admitted to the same thing, didn't you?"

"...Touché." It's more complicated than that for her, but still technically true.

"I'm still holding you to that part about the food. And also pissing off your brother and the old man." Yuck's attitude seems to have sobered up compared to his former smugness and mockery, and Yin can't tell if that's an improvement or not. He pauses, then sighs and holds out his hand towards Yin. "But as long as that backstabbing beanpole gets what's coming to him, I'm game."

Yin looks at Yuck, then at his hand. This outcome had gone against all her expectations, and now more than ever she realizes how badly she thought this plan out. All the ways this could go off the rails, crash and burn and spin out of control, pick this moment to pop into her mind.

Maybe he's right. Maybe she IS desperate.

Exhaling, she takes his hand in her. His fur is coarse and rough, and his nails dig into her hand as his fingers squeeze a little too tightly.

"Deal."