Disclaimer: We do not own South Park. All rights to South Park belong to Comedy Central.

"Hey, Terrance. Want to hear something funny?" asks Phillip.

"Sure, Phillip. What is it?" Terrance replies. Then Phillip leans to one side and farts. Both of them laugh at it. But they weren't the only ones who were laughing. Watching them on T.V. from the Cartman residence were Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman.

"Man, that was sweet, you guys." says Cartman.

"Yeah." Kyle responds.

"Guys, be quiet. Looks like something is going to happen." says Stan. Just then, Cartman's mom, Liane Cartman walks in front of them.

"Hello, boys. Would you like some Cheesy Poofs?" asks Liane.

"Out of the way, Mom! We're trying to watch Terrance and Phillip!" says Cartman.

"Okay, sweetie." says Liane as she walks towards the kitchen.

"And yeah, we want some Cheesy Poofs!" Cartman says to her.

"Hey, Terrance." says Phillip.

"Yes, Phillip?" replies Terrance.

"I do believe there's a dollar on the ground behind me." says Phillip.

"Oh really?" responds Terrance. He walks around Phillip and bends over. The boys lean towards the television smiling with excitement.

"This is gonna be sweet." says Kenny. The screen suddenly cuts to static and it then shows the Channel Four news logo.

"We interrupt this program for an emergency news bulletin." an announcer says.

"Awwwwww!" the boys moan in response to the interruption.

"We want to watch Terrance and Phillip! Not the damn news!" Cartman yells. The screen then cuts to the Channel Four news room where news anchors, Tom and Tammy Thompson were sitting behind the news desk.

"Hello. I'm Tom Thompson." says Tom.

"And I'm Tammy Thompson." says Tammy. "Another death has been reported here in South Park. This recent death is the eighth one to occur this week alone. We go live to our field reporter who is live at the scene."

"We want Terrance and Phillip, god damn it!" yells Cartman. The T.V cuts to a parking lot where the field reporter is standing in front of two paramedics who are placing a body bag onto a stretcher.

"Hello, Tom. I'm here at the South Park Mall where a citizen was found dead. Much like the recent deaths, the cause appears to be bites. The man appeared to have portions of his body, including his throat, bitten off. I will bring you more details as they happen. Back to you, Tom." says the reporter. The scene cuts back to the Channel Four newsroom.

"Thank you." says Tom. "Citizens of South Park are advised to report any suspicious activity to the police and stay indoors after six p.m until..." Tom was suddenly interrupted when the field reporter's voice was heard.

"Tom! Tammy!" yells the reporter. The scene then cuts back to the mall parking lot where the body bag on the stretcher is moving. "The man in the body bag appears to be alive." says the reporter. One of the paramedics unzips the body bag and opens it, a bloody man with bite marks on him starts to rise up out of the body bag. "I'm going to try and get an interview." The field reporter says as he runs up to the stretcher and holds his microphone to the man's face. "Excuse me, sir? Are you okay?" the field reporter asks. The man just stared at the field reporter with a blank stare on his face. Suddenly, the man grabs the field reporter's hand and bites down on it. "AUUUUUGGGHHH!" the field reporter yells as blood starts spilling out of his hand. He pulls his hand away, causing a portion of flesh to be torn off in the process. The two paramedics ran up to restrain the man, but that proves to be a bad decision as the man grabs them and bites off portions of their flesh. As the paramedics clutch their bloody wounds, the man climbs off the stretcher and staggers towards them. Two police officers who were at the scene rush over and starts shooting the man in the chest, but with no effect. One of the officers shoots the man in the forehead and he falls to the ground dead. The field reporter and the paramedics are seen clutching their wounds. An officer rushes over to them and examines them.

"We need more paramedics here, now!" yells the officer. The scene then cuts back to the Channel Four news room where Tom and Tammy are shown with shocked expressions on their faces.

"Well that was unexpected, Tom." says Tammy.

"It sure was, Tammy." replies Tom. "We will report any new details as they happen. We will now return you to our regularly scheduled program." The scene then cuts to the "Terrance and Phillip Show". But to the boys disappointment, it was showing the end credits. The boys moan, except for Stan.

"Dude, we missed the rest of the show!" yells Kyle.

"Stupid news report!" yells Cartman. He, along with Kyle and Kenny notice Stan staring at the television with a shocked expression on his face.

"Don't worry, dude, we can still watch Terrance and Phillip tomorrow." says Kyle.

"It's not that." says Stan.

"Then what is it?" asked Kenny.

"Didn't you see what happened?" asks Stan.

"Yeah. Those assholes made us miss the rest of the Terrance and Phillip Show!" yells Cartman.

"No. That guy who was supposed to be dead just got up and bit those guys." says Stan.

"So what?" Cartman replied.

"Haven't you seen that show The Walking Dead?" asks Stan.

"Yeah, that show is sweet." says Cartman.

"Yeah, but that show's been going downhill since Carl died and Rick left." says Kyle.

"Negan helps keep the show interesting enough. But if he and Daryl leave the show, it'll get cancelled." says Kenny.

"Guys! Don't you get it? The man on the news report was a zombie!" Stan says.

"No way." Cartman replies.

"Think about it. A guy who should be dead gets up and bites people and gets shot a bunch of times and keeps coming until he gets shot in the head. What else could it be?" asks Stan.

"Maybe he was a hippie who was way too high. If he was, good riddance. One less hippie in the world." says Cartman.

"Guys. I think something is going to happen to us." says Stan.

"Dude. Stuff always happens to us." says Kyle.

"Yeah." says Kenny.

"Totally." says Cartman.

END OF CHAPTER ONE.