Deus Ex Ma-Crunch-na!

(Or "reunited and it feels so good")

"WELL, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE CERTAINLY IN A PICKLE NOW, THEY, ALONG WITH [redacted] AND SEA DOG, WERE CORNERED BY BORIS AND NATASHA, AS WELL AS FEARLESS LEADER, COMMANDEERING THEIR OWN PIRATE SHIP."

"Fire cannons at de scurvy dogskis!" Boris exclaimed, waving his sword around.

"NATASHA LOADED UP THE CANNONS, AND PREPARED TO LIGHT THE FUSE. ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, [redacted] SEADOG ALL PREPARED FOR THE WORST, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN;"

"—AHOY [redacted]!" Came a female voice.

"OFF THE SIDE OF THE GUPPY CAME SOME FAMILIAR FACES ON ANOTHER SHIP. A TALL, BLONDE WOMAN DRESSED IN A BLUE SUIT WITH A LARGE RUFF APPEARED TO BE THE CAPTAIN, AS EVIDENCED BY HER BLUE TRICORNE HAT, ALONG WITH A FRECKLED, BESPECTACLED SAILOR MAN, A SHORTER TEENAGER SAILOR, AND A SLIGHTLY TALLER SAILOR."

"What on earth?!" Rocky exclaimed.

"Who de heck are dey?!" Boris exclaimed in disbelief.

"It's...I think it's me old CREW?!" [redacted] rubbed his eyes, then did a double take. "Well Crunch-A-Tize ME..."

"Fearless Leader! Ye best step off before I cleave thee a new NOSTRILL!" The woman shouted, waving her sword. "CREW, MAN TH' CRUNCH BERRIES!" The woman exclaimed to the other sailors, her long, bow-tied pigtails could be seen from underneath her captain's hat.

"Aye aye, Cap'n Brunie!" The men replied, sans the youngest one, rushing over to load the [redacted] Crunch into a cannon.

"THE CANNON FIRED, AND SHOT THE SAILS OF FEARLESS LEADER'S VESSEL."

"Oh, CRUDSKI!" Fearless Leader exclaimed. "BADENOV! FATALE! RETALIATE!"

"Fearless Leader, ve can't!" Boris responded, looking inside the cannons on the other ship. "Cannons can't fire cause they feeled vith...CEREAL?!"

"It's part of a balanced BUTT-KICKING!" The sailor wearing glasses yelled.

"THE YOUNGEST SAILOR ON THE BLONDE WOMAN'S SHIP LAUGHED, FOR HE'D VERY QUICKLY SAILED ACROSS AND FILLED THE CANNONS WHILE NO ONE WAS LOOKING. SUDDENLY, [redacted] ONCE AGAIN REMEMBERED WHERE HE KNEW THESE STRANGE SAILORS..."

"—ALFIE! BRUNHILDE! CARLYLE! DAVE!" [redacted] exclaimed, holding up a faded photo in a heart-shaped locket of his crew's incredibly adorable younger selves from the late 60's, then comparing it to how they looked now as adults. "ME KIDS! IT'S REALLY YE!"

"THE CREW MEMBERS OF THE OTHER SHIP SWUNG ACROSS ON A ROPE AND LANDED ON THE GUPPY TO SEE THEIR FORMER LEADER."

"[Redacted]!" They all exclaimed, rushing over to give him a hug.

"Oh, it's just so great to see you again!" Brunhilde replied. "Who're your friends?"

"Ye remember Rocky and Bullwinkle, aye?" [redacted] asked.

"Yep." Brunhilde replied.

"So do I!" Alfie smiled.

"Long time no see!" Dave shook Rocky's hand. "You guys haven't changed a bit!"

"Hey, kids!" Rocky smiled, shaking the crew's hands. "You guys look amazing!"

"She's purty, Rocky..." Bullwinkle spoke, heart pounding at the sight of the older Brunhilde.

"Uh...okay?" Rocky replied, noticing that Bullwinkle was looking at Brunhilde, and trying to avert his attention.

"Now that we're all together again..." Brunhilde smiled, "let's give these villains what for!"

"YEAH!" Dave replied, and so did Alfie and Carlyle.

"I'm in, too!" Rocky replied, catching an eyepatch that Carlyle threw to him. "C'mon, Bullwinkle, let's join the fight!"

"—AYE, Rock!" Bullwinkle smiled, grabbing another eyepatch from Carlyle and tying a scarf around his head.

"AND WITH THAT, BULLWINKLE, ROCKY, BRUNHILDE, ALFIE, CARLYLE, DAVE, AND [redacted] ALL JOINED IN FOR AN EPIC PIRATE BATTLE, ALL OF THEM SWINGING ACROSS ONTO FEARLESS LEADER'S SHIP, BARING THEIR SWORDS."

"Hoo boy..." Boris gulped. "Ve are outnumbered!"

"SOON, THE BATTLE TOOK PLACE WITH FEARLESS LEADER BEING QUICKLY SUBDUED. BORIS WAS STILL A TAD FRIGHTENED, BUT NATASHA WAS NOT. BRUNHILDE APPROACHED THE PALE PIRATES, LOOKING SURPRISINGLY MENACING FOR AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WHO USED TO LOOK SO CUTE AS A LITTLE SAILOR GIRL..."

"Don't vorry, Boris.." Natasha snickered at the sight of Brunhilde, then turned to Boris, saying in Pottsylvanian; "*Gorbachev laika suka, blini moskau russki-blooshki.*"

("Just like all blondes, she's not very bright.")*

"BORIS CHUCKLED AS WELL, BUT BRUNHILDE WAS NO DUMMY."

"HAI-YAH!" Brunhilde knocked Natasha to the ground with one single kick and held her sword above Natasha's pale neck. "Take that ya cosmo-nut! Oh, and by the way, *Pushki-blooshki Pottsylwanian samovar belka strelka krakow!*"

(*"I took Pottsylvanian in college!"*)

"BORIS AND NATASHA WERE STUNNED AT THE SURPRISINGLY BILLINGUAL BRUNHILDE—SHE EVEN SPOKE WITH A PERFECT ACCENT! WHILE STILL STUNNED, CARLYLE CONKED BOTH THEIR HEADS TOGETHER, EFFECTIVELY KNOCKING BOTH BORIS AND NATASHA OUT. ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE THEN TOOK SOME ROPE AND TIED THEM UP, THEN SEADOG TIED UP FEARLESS LEADER WITH THEM, AND STRUNG THEM UP THE FLAGPOLE OF THEIR OWN SHIP."

"Way to go there, Seadog!" [redacted] called.

"Ugh...ees drafty. Vait..." Boris pondered, his still-bound hands going to his hips. "Vat happen to—oh, RASKOLNIKOV!"

"YES SIR, NOT ONLY HAD THE CRUNCH CREW TIED BORIS, NATASHA, AND FEARLESS LEADER TO THE FLAGPOLE, BUT THEY'D ALSO TAKEN HIS—or rather, Natasha's—UNDERWEAR AND HUNG THEM UP THE FLAGPOLE, ADDING AN EXTRA DOSE OF EMBARRASSMENT."

"Carlyle's idea." Dave replied as the younger sailor gave a thumbs-up.

"Heheh..." Fearless Leader chuckled, then he couldn't take it. "BAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA! NICE UNDA'PANTS, BADENOV! OOOHOOHOHOOO!"

"Ees not my panties, ees Natasha's..." Boris grumbled in frustration.

"Vait, thoze are YOUR pant—DAAAAAAHHAHAHAAAAAAA!" Fearless Leader did a double take at Natasha, then laughed even louder this time. "Oh ZAT'S VAY FUNNIER!"

"SHARRUP YOU MOUTH!" Natasha yelled, her white face turning bright red.

"AND SO, THE THREE BAD GUYS WERE QUICKLY ARRESTED BY THE NATIONAL COAST GUARD. WITH THE TREASURE OF CAP'N KIDD BEING USED FOR DISPLAY IN THE FROSTBITE FALLS MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY, THERE WAS A HUGE PARTY ONBOARD [redacted]'S SHIP."

"Aw yeah, LIMBO, BABYYY!" Bullwinkle exclaimed as Alfie and Brunhilde held the limbo bar up.

"How low, can ya go?! How low, can ya go?!" Rocky and [redacted] along with the other sailors exclaimed.

"WELL, BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTURE OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE!"

"Thanks for givin' us a hand, [redacted]." Rocky shook hands with the sailor.

"Oh, y'know what, Rocky? Forget this whole [redacted] thing, ye can just call me Cap'n!" Cap'n Crunch replied, feeling relieved to know that the writer finally removed the [redacted] from his name.

End.

A/N: Yes, Cap'n Crunch is once again in this story, along with the kids that were on his old crew from the 60's commercials! The kids have been aged up and the good Cap'n kinda has empty nest syndrome from when they left, but not anymore. Also, prepare yourselves cause a Rocky and Bullwinkle Halloween Special, along with an R Christmas Special is in the works, gonna come out soon.