A big, pale-coated dog sits by the cliffside, watching vigilantly over the flock of sheep in the valley below. All is peaceful until, one by one, the sheep start disappearing.

Below the ground, a dark figure lurks, sawing holes around where the sheep stand, then proceeding to swap it out with a decoy. The perpetrator snickers sinisterly, proud of his clever switcheroo act which their guardian will never notice—or so they would like to believe. Little do they know, the dog noticed, and so had already prepared a trick of his own. As the sheep thief grabs hold of the decoy, relishing in its woolen glory, the charcoal black "face" opens up and sucker punches him with a spring-loaded boxing glove, knocking them out.

The work whistle blares from a distance, and the dog leaves his perch to head in that direction. Attached to a tree is a time clock, from which the dog punches out with his time card. Following behind is a red-nosed wolf with reddish-brown fur, looking worse for wear. "Having an off day, Ralph?" asks the dog as the wolf punches out. "Your tricks today were pretty weak."

"Ain't that an understatement," the wolf, Ralph, answers with a sigh of exasperation. "I think I'm losing my touch. Maybe it's time I settled down and worked a less strenuous job."

"You know, I've been thinking the same thing myself. Since ol' McDonald bought the farm, things haven't been the same." His deep, stoic voice betrays his grief; to him, the old farmer was more than just a boss, he was a friend to all the working canines. "Say, I have a brother who lives in the city. If you'd like, I can pull a few strings and find us some work there."

Ralph looks out to the valley behind him. As mundane as the scenery has become to him, it is also home. Is he willing to part with this for the concrete jungle? He had never been to the city before, but he had heard of it being a place full of opportunities, of sensations, and of freedom. Turning back to his coworker, the sheep thief smiles warmly. "I'll take you up on that offer. Lemme know how it goes. Well, goodnight, Sam."


The blazing sun beats down on the desert wasteland, the sky tinged orange as it starts to set. On the sandswept roads, a blue blur cut through the warm hues of the landscape, its shape invisible to the naked eye.

Freeze frame. The blur takes the shape of a long-legged, long-necked avian. Birdicus Rapidius, aka the Road Runner.

Zipping close behind, a brown blur chases after.

Freeze frame. The blur reveals itself as a lean, dog-like creature, propelled to superhuman speeds with assistance from rocket-strapped skates. Canicus Arrogantus, aka Wile E. Coyote.

Coyote and Road Runner continue this tedious pursuit until, suddenly, the latter screeches to a halt. A short distance ahead, a large sign that reads "DETOUR" with an arrow pointing off-road stands. Road Runner, while unable to read, has a basic understanding of illustrated symbols, and thus speeds off in that direction. Meanwhile, Coyote, unable to control his accelerating footwear, crashes headfirst into the sign instead.

As Coyote picks himself off the ground, kicking off the rocket skates in the process, he scratches his head in confusion. The sudden appearance of the sign, in tandem with the bird's sudden lack of adherence to staying on the road as per its name, it all seems too coincidental. But will he let a series of unexpected circumstances stop him from achieving his life's goal? Of course not! Wile E. Coyote is a genius, after all, and geniuses never give up, no matter how much life tries to push them down. His ego restored for the time being, he follows in the direction of the Road Runner, towards the great unknown.


Cold, dark, dreary. A world of concrete and metal, populated by strange faces from all across the animal kingdom, overpowering the senses with loud noises and bright lights the likes of which he had never seen before. Before, Wile E. had only seen this type of environment in books and billboards, so to watch those pictures become reality is a frightening ordeal. Who can he trust? What sorts of dangers will befall him? Smart as he is, he is still a wild animal at the end of the day, and surrounded by these tall buildings, he feels insignificant.

The cloudy night sky rains upon the city, the droplets collecting on the black streets to create a sleek sheen. Weak, wet, and helpless, Coyote runs into the nearest alleyway, praying for the slightest bit of shelter. As he contemplates all of his life's regrets, worries, and fears, all he has the energy to do is watch as the world coldly moves around him.


Inside the bright and thriving ?Arri-Bar!, Ralph stands before several of the most insidious and hideous creatures he would have the displeasure of seeing, with only the poker table separating himself from them as their gazes shift neurotically between each other and him. Deftly, he deals the cards, manages the bets, and calls the winners. Every now and then, he might slip in an extra Ace or Joker to trip up the players, and when they start slinging accusations in his direction, he will happily deny it using whatever fanciful words come to mind, and should diplomacy fail… Well, that's what guns are for.

After cleaning up a bloody conclusion to his last game for the night, he clocks out for the night, chatting with his boss in the back room. "Se?or Lobo, I appreciate everything you're doing," the Mexican mouse starts, a mix of hesitation and concern in his voice, "but can't you come up with a less… violent means of ending arguments?"

"Speedy, if you think those Neanderthals can understand basic communication, I'm afraid you're mistaken."

"Neanderthals or not, they're still paying customers, and dead customers can't pay!"

"Not unless we loot their pockets," he retorts while casually showing off a stolen wallet.

Exasperated, Speedy says, "Ralph, take tomorrow night off. And the next one as well. Actually, just don't come back. You're making bad business for us."

"Fine by me. And to think, I was starting to like this job."

"Créeme, this isn't easy for me, either. But even in this cesspit of a city, you have to keep your head high. Don't just stoop to the same level as those guys, even if it amuses you. Look, I don't know much about your past work, but there's a time and place to play villain, and I think it's time you figured when and where that is."

The mouse's words strike Ralph to silence, leaving himself to absorb their meaning. "Speedy, I… I think I know what I have to do." He tosses the wallet on the counter space near Speedy. "Do whatever you want with it. Dead or not, that guy still has people looking for him, so best to keep tabs on that."

He steps out of the bar, opening his umbrella, and takes out his phone to leave a message. "Evenin', Sam. It's me, Ralph. You're not gonna like this, but I got fired. Again. For what, the third time now? Yeah, it sucks, I was really getting into the role there. But you know what? I came up with a great idea, one where I can really make use of my talents. Moving here was the best thing I could have done, and it's all thanks to you. Anyways, call me back. Toodle loo~"


Wile E. can feel himself growing weaker by the second. When was the last time he ate? Did he ever stop to tend to the blisters on his feet? Not that it matters, anyway. He's going to die here, that much he knows. A drenched, starving, meaningless corpse. That's all he will ever amount to, and nothing else.

Just as his body is adjusting to the sensations of the raindrops, they suddenly stop. As he raises his head to figure out the cause, he sees a figure standing before him. Backlit by the adjacent streetlamps is a tall, red-nosed wolf holding an umbrella over their heads. "Hey, buddy. You look like you can use some help." His lips curled up into a smile, the stranger holds out his hand. "Let's get you out of this rain, shall we?"

The wolf escorts him into an apartment building, all the while chatting about this or that. From what Wile can gather, this guy's name is Ralph Wolf, and like himself, he's currently down on his luck. What he cannot figure out is why he would go out of his way to help a complete stranger like this?

Unlocking the door numbered "203", Ralph continues his exposition. "I already share this flat with someone, but there's enough room for one more." The interior of the apartment is neatly kept and the furniture that Wile can see looks quite luxurious. The only thing that sticks out is the faint musky odor lingering in the air. "Ah, yeah, the smell. Kind of inevitable when you hole up with a skunk. I'm used to it by now, but I can understand if it turns you off. Anyway, you rest up while I get us something to eat. Bathroom's the first door to the left if you need it."

Wile takes him up on the offer and takes a shower because, if nothing else, it gives him a chance to relax and clear out the mental clutter building up without interruption. Evidence of the skunk roommate's presence becomes increasingly obvious, from the small pink bathrobe hanging on a hook to the French style decor pieces and canvas prints with fluffy love quotes. Whoever they are, they have tacky tastes, he comments as he dries himself off.

As he steps out of the bathroom into the living area, he sees Ralph setting up the coffee table. "You're just in time! I hope you don't mind leftovers—it was the quickest thing I could fix up. I also brought snacks if you're still hungry."

The two dig into the platters, with Ralph filling the dead air between bites. The food, while certainly lacking in quality, tastes like heaven to the starving coyote, and he proceeds to shovel through his meal.

Clearing out the remains of his plate, Ralph lets out a hearty laugh. "Oh, silly me! I've been talking all this time, and didn't think to even ask for your name. So what brought you all the way here, cutie?"

Wile stops to set down his utensils and speak. "Name's Wile E. Coyote. I came here to hunt down a roadrunner."

"A roadrunner, eh? Can't say I've ever seen one 'round these parts. But then again, stranger things have happened. Say, what you just said reminded me of something. I still have to iron out the kinks, but I think you'll be the perfect partner for my new business."

"New… what?"

The red wolf's aura turns sinister, though his outward demeanor remains as affable as ever. "Imagine this: you and me, two wild dogs with a natural talent for hunting, doing what we do best for a living. This city is a magnet for all sorts of criminal activity, so it would make sense for someone to want to hire animals like us to clean up their messes, if you know what I mean."

Glaring skeptically, Wile asks, "What do I get in return?"

"You get to stay here rent-free, and I can help you find that roadrunner you've been chasing." He moves over to sit next to Wile, wrapping an arm over his bony shoulders. "Besides, you and I know better than anyone that us wild dogs work best in packs. Plus, I can tell by looking at you that you're a clever, handsome, and capable creature, just like yours truly. Join me, and we'll be the top dogs of the town!"

"Top dogs, huh?" he mutters. As if the offer to help catch that bird wasn't tempting enough, the thought of living here is miles more convenient than trying to find his way back home—wherever that may be. And as strange as this wolf behaves, the two of them seem to think on a similar wavelength. "Doesn't look like I have a choice. Very well, then, you have yourself a deal, partner."

The two shake hands and wrap up for the night. Once the living area is cleaned up and dishes taken care of, Ralph shows Wile to the bedroom. The walls are lined with pink, heart-patterned wallpaper and adorned with paintings and photos in fanciful frames, and the bed itself, a full-size haven of soft, heart-shaped pillows, is just as garishly girly as the rest of the room. Taking in the sight, Wile turns to Ralph and says bluntly, "I'm sleeping on the floor."

"I know it's a bit much, but the mattress is really soft. Surely that's worth something, right?" Seeing that the coyote is not going to change his mind anytime soon, he switches gears. "Tell you what: I'll sleep right with you. Better than sleeping alone, I say."

Wile cracks a wry smile as he settles down on the floor. "Suit yourself, you pampered pup. You won't last the night."

"Oh, pampered, am I?" Ralph asks with a chuckle. "Need I remind you that I'm a wolf? Well, more of a coywolf, but what wolf isn't part coyote these days? Either way, we're sharing this spot together. This will be a great bonding moment." Grabbing spare pillows and blankets from the closet, he sits on the floor and hands him a set. "Take these, at the very least. I won't let you sleep on the cold, hard floor without something to keep you snug."

Once the two are sufficiently comfortable, Ralph snuggles up against Wile, who gives him the cold shoulder in response. Undeterred by this rejection, he simply resorts to lying on his back, sighing in elation. For the first time in a long while, he's looking forward to tomorrow.


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi there! Welcome to the first chapter (or "episode", as I titled them in my Google Doc file) of a whole new story! This idea I've had stewing for the past month or so, give or take, but due to my own insecurities regarding my transitioning from one fandom to another, I kept discussion of it to a minimum. Hopefully those who came here from my previous works don't mind this shift and can find something to enjoy.

Anyways, the first chapter is more of an introduction, so there's not much to go off of at the moment, but I already have a second chapter that's a quick polishing away from being published and I'm currently working on a third, so you can expect a bit more to chew on in the near future. Truth be told, I imagined this story in more of an animated series-like format, so trying to transcribe what I normally would write as a script into prose proved difficult, doubly so for more comedic scenarios. It's going to be a bit of a rough start in the writing department, but I would like to treat this as an exercise of sorts, if nothing else.

I guess that's all for now. See you in Episode Two!

6/29/2021 UPDATE: Made some changes to Sam and Ralph's introduction segment to allow for better readability. Also fixed some punctuation errors I wasn't aware were errors at the time. Credit to my sister for pointing these issues out and offering her input.