Patrick Nothing (POV. Present Tense. The Perks of Being a Wallflower)

It felt right kissing him.

I let out all of my emotions to him and my feelings and drunkenness had gotten the best of me. I kissed him hazily in his soft cherry lips. It felt right at that time and I knew that a small flicker of hope emerged in my brain when I felt him kissing me back.

It was a timid response and our kiss only lasted for about 8 seconds before I forced myself to pull back. I didn't want to scare Charlie away because my feelings and the kiss that we had just shared might ruin our friendship. When I pulled back, I looked him straight in the eye. His eyes were telling me how confused he was but he is trying to be nice, Charlie is always nice. He doesn't deserve a self-loathing guy like me. So I cried and ask for forgiveness. In return, he wrapped his arms around me and told me that it was okay. I tried to ignore the thump in my chest that feels as if my heart is about to explode, or how I felt safe when he ever so slowly, started whispering sweet nothings into my ears. In that moment, I knew that I was far too deep to ignore what I am feeling towards Charlie. He is different, far more different with Brad.

When I was with Brad, it felt a sudden bliss of ecstasy, everything felt too fast and I was the one who is always chasing him, but with Charlie it felt right; it felt like home. I don't need to try too hard because he accepts me for who I am. He's always there for me through thick and thin. That day where he came to defend me from Brad and his friends is the day I saw the other side of Charlie. The day where I knew in that moment, I fell in love. Besides Sam, no one had ever tried to defend me from other people; that is until Charlie came along.

As we sit here on the grass, him hugging and rubbing his hand on my back, it occurred to me on how painful it was to let him go… to let someone whom can never love you back, go. I know that he just sees me as a friend. I know that he loves Sam and it's going to be so selfish of me to not let Charlie go- knowing that Sam can treat Charlie so much better than I ever would.

So I forced myself to escape his hug. I stood up and wiped my tear stain cheeks and laugh. I looked up the starry night skies, thinking how lucky I am to be alive the same time Charlie is. At least we're under the same sky I thought to myself before looking at Charlie and asking if he wants to go and have coffee at Kings. He reluctantly agreed and we headed off.

At least we're under the same sky is enough for a beautifully broken boy who knows that the one he loves can never love him back…