Respice Adspice Prospice - A Misaki Kawana Pseudo Route

Act I: Life Expectancy

Parting the Iron Curtain

Well this is an awkward way to start a Thursday.

I look at the group assignment Mutou has nonchalantly dropped in front of me, then to the two empty desks to my right. I suppose even if the dynamic duo were here, they would hardly be interested in helping me out. I suppose that's what I get for refusing to be dragged into Shizune's little tiff. I best be on with it.

"Umm... Excuse me..."

It is only a moment after I open the packet that I hear the meek, uncertain voice addressing me. I look and see one of my classmates standing beside my chair. I vaguely remember her sitting up front beside the girl missing her left hand. She seems to avoid eye contact at every chance, her hands are awkwardly pressed together, as she seems to be focused on fidgeting with her fingers. She clearly came to ask me something. I guess it is up to me to push forward.

"Yes?"

Smooth Hisao. She looks up, almost startled at my response. I can't help but be reminded of Yuuko, the skittish librarian. The girl keeps looking at the ground unsure of how to proceed. She hesitates awkwardly.

"Umm... I was wondering. If... that is... you don't mind... you seem to be looking for a group... umm..."

I think I gather the gist of what she wants to say. If I wait for her to actually ask I think I will still be here this evening. Well, nothing ventured.

"You were wondering if I would join you for this group work?"

Startled at me interrupting her, she gives a small yelp.

"Yes. That is, with me and my friend. If that's not too much of a bother."

I shake my head.

"No not at all. I'd be happy to. There are two desks here that are free. So why don't you both come over and we can get started."

The girl suddenly nods and quickly heads over to her desk to talk to her compatriot. It's only a moment later that we have formed a circle with the desks and we sit down. There is a moment of somewhat awkward silence. The girl who approached me seems nervous, constantly avoiding my gaze. Her friend on the other hand seems to be staring right at me. The analytical gaze she bears is all too familiar, having spent a majority of this week hanging out with Shizune. However, it seems I will have to break the ice if we can hope to get this work done.

"I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Hisao. Hisao Nakai."

The girl, previously avoiding my gaze seems to look up and I am sure I hear a little squeak from her.

"I'm Ikuno. Ikuno Komaki. You can call me Ikuno."

I nod in response, politely acknowledging her introduction.

"Only if you call me Hisao then. Ikuno."

I turn my attention to Ikuno's friend. She stands up in her seat and gives a slight bow.

"My name is Misaki Kawana. I am pleased to meet you Nakai."

The formality of her greeting strikes me as unusual. It seems to be in a very stark contrast to Yamaku's generally casual atmosphere that I've already started acclimating to. Before I can respond she has already sat back in her chair.

"Please. Call me Hisao."

"I thank you for your request. But Nakai shall be suitable for the time being."

Considering the nature of her introduction I shouldn't be surprised. But the minor rebuff does sting my ego a little. As I open up the reading, Ikuno leans besides me and whispers.

"Don't worry about Misaki. It took about six months of being her friend before she called me Ikuno."

I shrug nonchalantly. It's reassuring to know it's not anything I've done. I guess Kawana is simply just the way she is. As I start reading, I am relieved to know I already am familiar with this material. I had already studied most of it while constrained to a hospital bed for four months.

I take the time to have a look at my new work partners. The first thing I notice about Ikuno is her large round, expressive blue eyes. She clearly is the type to wear her heart on her sleeve. She seems to be a somewhat anxious person, judging by her previous interactions with me already There's also the state of her obviously well bitten fingernails. It's only looking at her nails that I notice that the nail on her right thumb doesn't seem to have been bitten down like the others When I made my introduction to the class three days ago, I recall Ikuno's right thumb was missing. I suppose this thumb must be a prosthetic.

"Is something the matter Hisao?"

I am pulled from my thoughts by Ikuno staring at me with a slightly worried expression present on her face. I quickly shake my head, trying not to worry her further.

"Oh sorry nothing. I was uh... spacing out."

Ikuno looks at me for a moment and then looks down and wiggles the aforementioned thumb around.

"I didn't think it was that obvious..."

"No it wasn't. It's just. You weren't wearing it on my first day when I introduced myself to the class. So it was kind of weird, I was wondering if you regrew it again."

I try to deflect with a silly joke. This elicits a small laugh from her before we quickly get back to work. I try and focus, but having already learned this before. My attention wanes and I find myself glancing towards my other companion.

In a contrast to Ikuno with her eternally expressive eyes, Kawana seems to have an impenetrable expression. Her dark eyes seem to maintain a laser like focus on the task at hand. I notice briefly the strange bulges from her shirt. She seems to be wearing something unusual underneath it. The obvious conclusion is that it is something to do with why she is here at Yamaku. I notice she is staring at me suddenly.

"Nakai? Do you need assistance with this work?"

Delivered in the same borderline deadpan manner as before.

"No. I actually reviewed this topic a while ago. I had... plenty of time on my hands."

Kawana nods in acknowledgement, before returning to the reading. The rest of the reading time is used up by the two girls in silence. I take advantage of the time and start on one of the first questions. Considering I had spent the past few months in hospital I found it somewhat unchallenging.

I see Ikuno looking over at my sheet, presumably having finished her reading. She is wearing a beaming smile on her face.

"I didn't know you were good at this subject. If I'd known that I would've poached you sooner. Umm... If it's okay would you be able to let me do the next question and check to see if I got it right?"

"In other words she is going to botch the answer and get you to do it for us."

Kawana calmly chimes in with her quip. This causes Ikuno to fold her arms in an exaggerated pout.

"I wasn't going to do that! Honest! He's just good at it, and I thought it would help to have some constructive criticism for once."

"It's okay. Really. I consider it a way to thank you for bailing me out from doing this alone."

Ikuno puts her head down and starts working on the second question. This leaves me and Kawana staring at each other. I've barely known her for a single school period and yet the wall she puts up is obvious to see. I guess I should at least try to break the ice.

"So..."

"Yes?"

Smooth Hisao. Really smooth. Well maybe the current subject.

"Do you do well in this subject?"

"I get grades that I would consider adequate."

Any hopes of cutting through the awkward atmosphere that seems to permeate around me and Kawana are promptly dashed. I quietly focus my attention on the next questions in the assignment. Even if it means getting back to school work, I just can't handle the awkwardness.

Thankfully Ikuno comes to the rescue. Again. She eagerly thrusts her worksheet in front of me. Thankfully I am able to distract myself by going over Ikuno's answer.

"It looks like you're on the right track. You came to the wrong answer."

I point to the small mistake I noticed in her working. Unfortunately, this completely threw off her answer.

"Just here. You messed up on the math. You had the right formula and concept though. So that's good."

"Oh... ummm... sorry about that."

I shake my head. I have no idea why she's apologizing.

"No need to apologize. Just a simple error."

This seems to appease her. The rest of the questions are promptly answered and we find ourselves the first to be finished. I can't help but smirk inwardly. Shizune would be pretty ticked off if we completed the assignment. If she was here that is.

"Hisao?"

I get pulled from my thoughts as Ikuno tries to get my attention. I guess I was spacing out again.

"I just wanted to say. Thank you. For helping us out today."

"What are you talking about? You are the ones who helped me. I would've been doing all this solo if you guys didn't ask me to join you."

"Oh umm. Yeah. That's true. Ummm. I was wondering if... if..."

Ikuno awkwardly presses her fingers together.

"If you would like to join me and Misaki for lunch today. That is... if you don't have any plans. Which is okay if you do..."

She's getting frantic again. I should try and calm her down.

"No that's fine. I'd be happy to."

It's not like I had plans for lunch anyway. And Ikuno is nice enough. It's only a few seconds later that the bell chimes.

"Okay! That's great. Well then. It was nice working with you. And we'll see you at lunch."

Ikuno waves to me skipping over to her desk. Kawana stands up and nods her head in acknowledgement. It was a strange change of pace working with those two. Although it's nice to get to know some of my other classmates.

Time continues its inevitable march forward as the chime of the lunch bell heralds the reprieve from class work. As the various students get up to scatter to their various cliques, Ikuno bounds past the currently empty desks of Shizune and Misha, a child like smile plastered on her round face.

"Are you ready to go Hisao?"

I pack my various books and school accoutrements into my school bag and casually stand up.

"Sure am. I'll probably have to swing by the cafeteria to grab some bread. If that's okay."

I feel a slight wince of pain as Ikuno proceeds to poke me in the forehead.

"Now now. Just because I'm not as stuffy as Misaki doesn't mean I don't have my manners. I always make way too much anyway. You can share some of my lunch. It has to beat bread right? Right?"

Well how can I say no to a free lunch? Especially under the weight of such unbridled enthusiasm as well as the temptingly large, well wrapped bundle she holds with her schoolbag. I nod my head in agreement and follow Ikuno, who is joined by Kawana at the door of the classroom.

The walk is kind of long, but somewhat familiar. Ikuno mindlessly chatters away as I find myself at the running track I was at this morning with Emi. We cross the track coming into the comfortable shade of a relatively large zelkova tree.

The girls sit themselves opposite each other, leaving a space beside the tree itself. I take my place and lean back against the stump. As Ikuno unwraps the large bundle I find myself reflecting on how rare a delight such a mundane activity as enjoying a simple lunch in the shade has become to me.

Furthermore, this is the first outdoor meal I've enjoyed since that day four months ago. A single letter, a diminutive raven haired girl, the crunch of snow beneath my feet...

"Hisao? You okay? Is something the matter?"

Ikuno's face plastered with worry. Kawana, her expression remaining stoic, is staring at me in curiosity. They have probably noticed the sudden blackened mood that has swept across me. I slowly exhale, trying to calm myself.

"I'm fine. It's just been a long time since I've... eaten outside."

Ikuno seems to read into my comment, responding by holding out a pair of disposable chopsticks one would get at a ramen stand. Ikuno appears to be holding a similar pair in her other hand already prepared to eat. As I take the chopsticks from her, she deftly uses the chopstick in her other hand to flick off the lid of the lunchbox.

"Well then, let's eat! Help yourself Hisao. We can't have you starving on our watch."

She playfully prods my ribs with her chopsticks before taking a piece of octopus sausage. I turn my eyes to Kawana, who has placed her smaller lunch box in front of her. She removes the lid and lowers it in front of the box. Methodically she places a pair of black lacquered chopsticks emblazoned with a golden floral pattern on the lid. She then presses her hands together in a practiced motion.

"Thank you for the food."

It is only then that she begins to eat her humble lunch. I feel another poke in my ribs as Ikuno looks at me.

"You going to sit there and stare at Misaki or are you going to have something to eat? The chicken is delicious."

Ikuno points her sticks at some chicken pieces sitting atop some rice. Taking a piece and putting it in my mouth I find it hard to disagree with her. It is delightful.

"It's good isn't it? Isn't it?"

Ikuno's face looks somewhat doubtful, anxious even. As if I am going to judge her on a boxed lunch. Unless...

"Did you make this yourself?"

She simply nods once. I feel I should allay her concerns and answer sincerely.

"It's probably the best piece of food I have had in a long time... And in saying that.."

I quickly swoop in grabbing two more pieces of chicken and put them in my mouth, chewing heartily while at the same time diving in for some of that delicious rice. As nice as the turkey sandwich at the Shanghai was, there is something about somebody's home cooked meal that is so nostalgically pleasing to the palate.

"So, Hisao. How much have you seen outside of Yamaku?"

It's Ikuno again trying to break the silence as we eat. I pause for a moment and place the tip of one of the chopsticks to my chin.

"I only have been to the Shanghai with Shizune and Misha. Is there anything else in town?"

"Not much. There is an art supplies store, a park and a couple of other small eateries. But if you really want to do anything you have to go to the city. There's everything to do there. Sing karaoke, go to the arcade, catch a movie..."

"Catch a movie? It's been ages since I last went to the cinema. I think it was last year that I last went."

"Hmmm? What did you see?"

"Oh. I saw Cinderella with my friend Takumi. He was always dragging me to films like that..."

Takumi was the classic film nut. From Akira Kurosawa, Takeshi Miike to Quentin Tarantino, Takumi would happily eat all of it up. His infectious enthusiasm would lead all of us to join him in watching a banquet of various movies. I wouldn't be surprised if he was cutting class right now seeing some bizarre movie involving a red balloon or some controversial period in history. More likely both.

"Cinderella? Your friend was a fan of Disney huh? Well that's really cool that they have a cinema that plays such old movies."

I shake my head at Ikuno's apparent misunderstanding. I find her genuine and rather enthusiastic to be quite disarming. Whereas that time in Lilly's tearoom on my second day was reminiscent of an indulgent mother, I find Ikuno's wide eyed attention to be like an enthusiastic little sister lapping up each detail as if it was the most interesting fact in the world.

"I don't mean that. It was a movie that came out last year, rather than being about a girl going to a prince's ball it was about a group of girls haunted by a ghost with a missing face."

It wasn't exactly mealtime conversation, and Ikuno looks slightly uncomfortable. I quietly begin returning to my share of the lunch internally kicking myself. I already have apparently torpedoed any chance of a friendship with Shizune and Misha. I seemingly have managed to outdo myself by doing what took a few days in a couple of hours.

"What did you think of it?"

The sudden voice, charged by enthusiasm, pulls me from my moment of brooding. However, its owner wasn't Ikuno, who is looking somewhat startled. The question is from Kawana, who is leaning forward, her eating implements sitting atop a closed lunchbox, hands planted on her knees. Her eyes have the same focus I noticed when she was working on the group project. This time however, they were directed towards me.

"Well, umm..."

I wouldn't be surprised if Ikuno developed her speech patterns from being subjected to the interrogator's lamp that was Kawana's gaze. She seems genuinely interested, in fact it's probably the first sign of genuine interest I seem to have garnered from her since meeting her.

"Well, it was fun. Although the twist at the end with the mother was as predictable as the tides. Although the whole horror based on plastic surgery was pretty interesting."

Kawana seems to digest what I was saying for a moment nodding twice in what seems to be apparent approval at my opinion. She taps her fingers on her knees rhythmically before finally replying.

"It really came across at first as being a good psychological horror movie, but it was just something rather generic."

"I know how you feel. I really like the psychological stuff so it was a bit disappointing."

Just as Kawana is about to respond, we are interrupted by the school bell heralding the end of lunch. We all begin packing up the two lunch boxes in relative silence as we make our way back to the school building. I quietly curse my heart as I make my way up the three levels to the third floor and our classroom.

As we return to the classroom, and prepare to go our separate ways I get the duo's attention for a moment.

"I just wanted to thank you. For lunch, and hanging out with me."

The gratitude is stilted, awkward but sincere. And I really did enjoy their company. Kawana simply nods in response. On the other hand, Ikuno's face lights up like a puppy that has just noticed a biscuit being dangled above its nose.

"It's no problem at all Hisao. Umm..."

And there it is. Ikuno again grows anxious clearly about to ask me something. She begins pressing her index fingers together, her gaze going down to her feet.

"If it isn't a bother... You're welcome to join us again tomorrow... or whenever you like."

I shake my head and sigh slightly. This girl seems almost as skittish as Yuuko.

"I would like that, honestly. And I'll try to bring my own lunch next time. I would not forgive myself if I kept leeching off you. Anyway, I should probably get back to my desk. Thanks again for lunch."

"Anytime Hisao!"

"You are most welcome Nakai. I too appreciated the company"

All three of use return to our desks just before the teacher enters the room. I am only half paying attention and find my gaze wandering out the window. This turn of events was interesting to say the least. Although I may have ticked off Shizune and Misha, it was nice not being harassed to join the dynamic duo in student council. It's funny how a simple meal under a tree would be so nostalgic.

I find myself looking forward to joining them again tomorrow.