Sam

It was cruel game and it went to far. Way too far.

I can't believe this happening – Connie is going to kill me. I tried to dig myself out of the bottomless pit I'd dug, but I made it worse. I told Grace the truth. I didn't necessarily think it was the best thing to do, but it seemed to be the only way out at the time.

I told her how I led her Mum to believe that we were going to be a family, then chickened out of the prospect of a future with the formidable Connie Beauchamp – and ran away from her instead.

I told her how it was really my idea to come back to America, and how her Mum had no idea we'd gone until she got the phone call from Grace.

I told her that I agreed with her at Christmas, when she said there was something else going on. Grace never believed that her Mum had chosen to work instead of spending time with us.

I told her that she was wrong – out of spite to Connie. I did my best to make her believe that Connie had abandoned her – though Grace initially ignored me and said there'd be a good reason. She wanted us to go back to Holby and see Connie – to find out what was going on, but I point-blank refused.

I told Grace that when we came back to America behind her back, Connie was distraught and was fighting to get her back.

I also told my daughter that I already knew there was something wrong back then, because her Mum suddenly backed down from the Custody battle she was threatening – it would take something very serious to make her do that.

Eventually, back then, I managed to convince Grace that Connie was only interested in her job. I don't know why I did that. I suppose I was afraid that we would have to go back – I didn't want to see Connie again.

I did – and I didn't. I love her, but I'm afraid of my feelings and I was far too much of a coward to face up to them. I also didn't want to face Connie's wrath after taking Grace from her like that. I don't know what has been going on – but I know it's bad. My instincts have been screaming at me to go back to Holby ever since Connie stopped threatening law suits over Grace, but I ignored them and buried my head in the sand. Instead I chose the path of anger and dragged Grace down it with me. My anger turned sour and I wanted to hurt Connie so badly when she cancelled at Christmas, so I worked to cut all contact between her and Grace – poisoning our little girl's mind against her mother.

Cutting contact wasn't to hard. What with the time difference and Grace being at school all day, Connie and Grace only have a limited opportunity to talk on the phone – or face time. It wasn't difficult to find a reason why it wasn't convenient. Then Connie made it far too easy by stopping face-time and only talking on the phone – I don't know why. Then there was the letters and emails I had to get rid of. The emails were easy – I just deleted them. The letters I hid. The postman comes while Gracee is at school during the week – and she likes to lie in on Saturdays.

I've always been an arrogant bastard – just ask Connie, but eventually, the guilt from the bad things I was doing to her began eating away at me.

It all got too much and my conscience took over – partly because I'm so worried about Connie and partly because deep down, I love her so much. We've always enjoyed playing for power trips over each other and playing games – but this time, Connie's not playing. I just blurted it out – everything.

Grace was so angry. She screamed and yell at me, threw anything she could find at the wall and stormed out, stating that she was getting on a plane back to Holby. She went upstairs and slammed the door. I didn't think she was serious about the plane, but then a taxi arrived and she flounced past me and out the front door with a suitcase and her savings before I could stop her – though not before yelling that she hates me.

Connie is going to kill me. Our daughter is on the way to the airport on her own – and she's also epileptic. Stress can be a trigger – and I've stressed her out beyond words. Anything could happen. What I did to Connie is unforgivable, but if she ever was going to forgiver me – she certainly won't now.

Grace

I've been so angry with Mum and none of it was her fault. I knew something else was going on and I'm certain that Mum's been ill – only that would have stopped her from coming to see me at Christmas. But Daddy...why did I listen to him?

I don't think I can forgive Dad. I thought he loved Mum – I thought it was as hard for him to leave her as it was for me. He's been lying the whole time – hiding my post, deleting my emails. And what he's done to Mummy is so awful. I can't imagine how lonely she's been – especially if she's not well. It's just too horrid to think about. I have to go and see her. I need to see her. I need to tell her I'm sorry.

Connie

My phone rings and I see Grace's call. My newly repaired heart nearly stops. She hasn't spoken to me for months and I thought that was going to kill me when the Cancer didn't. I shut my office door as her face pops up – it's tear-stained and she looks in a right state. "Gracie?"

"Mummy, I'm sorry – I'm so sorry!" She sobs.

"Ssssh it's ok, darling – calm down and tell me what's happened." I respond gently.

"I-I had a mas-sive r-row with Daddy – and-and he told me the truth about everything. He-he told me that he took me behind your back and he's been hi-ding my post and de-let-ing my emails from you. He-he was cry-ing because he hurt you, but I was so angry, cos-cos He-he let me think you didn't-didn't ca-re. I-I just left."

"Sssh-ssh, calm down darling – it's ok." I repeat, worried that my daughter is getting very stressed – which could be especially dangerous with her Epilepsy. "What do you mean you left, sweetie? Where are you?"

Air-port." She answers. "I-I got a taxi – but I don't know what to do next. The taxi c-cost more then I t-thought and I-I got no money left." She sobs sounding frightened. "I-I w-want you, Mummy."

"Sssh-ssh. Ok, darling. Is Daddy still at home?"

"Y-yes. I don't want to ring him. He'll-he'll be ang-ry." She stammers. "I-I said I hated him – and I-I left."

"He won't be angry, sweetie. He loves you and he'll be very worried about you." I reassure her. "Here's what I want you to do. I want you to wait by the taxis. I'm going to ring your Dad and he's going to come and take you home. I'm going to get on the next plane I can and I'm going to come and see you both, ok? Everything is going to be fine, sweetheart. I've got my mobile – so you ring me if you need anything else. I love you Gracie – and I'll see you soon, ok?"

"O-k, Mummy. I love you." She whispers.

Sam

I'm pacing about my house because I've got no idea what to do. I've rung my Mum - and got in and out my car twice when my mobile rings. I answer it hysterically - without paying attention to who it is and my few comes out a few octaves higher than normal. "Grace-"

"Sam – calm down!" Comes the stern voice of Connie Beauchamp.

I almost drop the phone, frozen to the spot – though not for long. I haven't spoken to her for so long and her voice sounds strange to me. "Con-Connie?" I stammer, before pacing about again in agitation.

"What were you playing at?!...Sam – will you stop pacing about!" She booms. "I feel like I'm on the bloody Dover ferry!"

I stop and look down in shock – I hadn't realised it was a video call. "S-sorry." I mumble.

"Thank you." She says civilly. "Right – Grace is waiting for you at the airport, by the taxi bay. I've persuaded her to let you take her home."

"Thank God. Is she ok?" I ask – dreading the answer, though I'm reassured that she's not been carted off in an ambulance.

"She's ok." Connie confirms. "She's frightened because she's run out of money and is stranded at airport so she feels out of her depth. I've told her that you're not angry with her – you're just worried."

"Yes." I agree. "I'm getting in the car now."

"Good. I'm just leaving work and I'll be on next plane." Connie informs me.

"Are you allowed to do that?" A vision Hassen's face appears in my head. I never liked that man.

"They can take a running jump, Sam. I'm going to sort this bloody mess out." She responds icily.

"You're angry." I mutter.

"Are you surprised, Sam?" She retorts. "I'm absolutely furious with you – but that can wait. Grace is more important."

Grace

I wait nervously for Daddy. Moments before I got to the airport, I was absolutely fuming and I never wanted to see him again, but handing over the last of my money to the taxi man was like a kick in the stomach. Suddenly all I wanted was Mummy and Daddy hugging me - telling me it was going to be ok.

Mummy did exactly that. Reassuring me when I was so frightened – despite my cruel rejection in recent months. She's coming over and she's going to make everything ok again – she didn't even seem that angry when I told her that Daddy hid her letters and deleted the emails she sent. I don't understand why Daddy was so horrible to her, but I do know that he loves her – even if he's got an odd way of showing it. He was devastated by what he'd done to her – he wouldn't have been crying otherwise. I've never seen Daddy cry before.

My mobile rings again. "Mummy? Yes, I'm ok – I feel better now."

"Alright, darling. Daddy's on the way. He's not angry – he's just relieved that you're ok." She tells me. "And Gracie – he knows he messed up badly. He's got a lot of talk – your Dad, but he panics easily. He digs himself into a hole and isn't very good at getting out of them."

"Ok." I agree. I hesitate. "Mummy, you've been ill, haven't you?"

There's a pause. "W-who told you that?" She asks hesitantly. Her reluctant reaction confirms what I thought.

"Nobody told me Mummy, but that's the only reason you would have cancelled at Christmas." I answer confidently.

She clears her throat. "Yes, I have been ill." She agrees. "I'm sorry I kept it from you darling, but I didn't want you to find out over the phone – and well, then it all happened so quickly-" Her breath hitches and I hear her take a deep breath. "Anyway, I will explain everything to you and Daddy when I see you sweetie – but I promise I'm ok now, so you're not to worry."

"Ok, Mummy. Daddy's here now. I can't wait to see you."

"I love Gracie. I'll see you soon, darling." She answers.

I'm still angry with Daddy, but I'm so relieved when the car pulls up – though I'm also still quite worried that he's going to be angry with me. After all, I said some awful things, threw things at him and ran away, but he's come to rescue me like Mummy said he would.

Sam

"I love you, Mummy. Bye." Grace says her mobile as she opens the car door and gets in.

I feel a huge pang of guilt – but I'm glad that Connie was able to keep our daughter calm over the phone before I got there. "I'm sorry, Gracie. I'm so sorry." I mumble as she shuts the car door. "What I did to you and Mummy is awfulso awful."

A sob escapes as my daughter throws her arms around me. "I know Daddy. I hate what you did, but I love you and Mummy so much. Mummy's coming over so it's going to be ok." She whispers. "-and Mummy didn't even sound that angry with you." She adds as I pull out.

Connie is definitely angry with me – she's just good at hiding it when she needs too. I can't wait to see her – but I'm dreading it too. I've got no idea how to make amends – or if I even can. There are some things too terrible to go back from.

"Mummy's been ill." Grace suddenly announces.

"What?" I exclaim in shock. "Did-did she tell you that?"

"She doesn't need to." Grace responds indignantly. "It's the only thing in the world that would have stopped her coming to see us at Christmas. Anyway, I ask her outright and she confirmed it. She didn't want us to find out over the phone, but she said she'll explain when she gets here."

Connie might have confirmed it, but Grace is right of course. There's nothing on earth that would stop Connie from seeing her daughter – bar one thing. If illness stopped her, it must have been serious – really serious.

"Daddy!" Grace screams.