Scout

The raindrops outside landed heavily on my window and with each thud, they stabbed me in the brain and right through to my senses. No matter how many times the lightning flashed in my eyes, the thunder would make me jump. Why does Alabama have such stupid winter weather? Why can't we just have snow like normal people up North do? I bet their pretty snow is much more quiet than this rain and from all the christmas carols I hear, it's actually enjoyable to be in.

I'm sitting here playing with this snow globe that Uncle Jack bought me many a Christmas ago from Nashville. I always loved shaking it hard only to watch the little white flakes gently fall on the colorful christmas town below. How I wish I could be in there. Maybe I would be in a Christmas mood.

It's hard to be in any kind of happy mood anymore. Jem is off fighting in Europe along with Hank and Dill and I can't believe the dull ache that lingers within me daily. I knew it would be hard to say goodbye but it turns out that was the easy part; now they're gone and I'm left wondering if I will ever say hello again. I can't let my thoughts of them go beyond the fears I have for myself in dealing with this. If I took the time to sit down and really think of what they're going through, I would go insane.

I look out the window and breathe a heavy sigh. Here it is, Christmas Eve night and I'm left with stormy weather and depressing thoughts. Not even shaking the snow globe could literally shake me out of my melancholy. Oh Jem, Dill, and Hank, do you guys know it's Christmas? Is it snowing? Are you guys cold? Do you Jean Louise is crying right now?

I slam the snow globe down on my nightstand and instantly regretted it because I had forgotten how fragile it is. Nothing happened though. It just kept snowing. Maybe that was my sign that everything was fine and it would be fine. I wiped my eyes and finally pulled my covers around me. It wouldn't be long before I slipped into the winter wonderland that my subconscious created just for me...