Chapter 1: Question

The final hoots of the owl came with the first calls of other birds. Creaking softly, the open window let in a crisp morning breeze. Someone outside called out to a neighbor, exchanging hearty greetings. Inside the inn room, he stared up at the ceiling trying to think… he'd dreamed of a bright thriving village, eaten away by white until it was a gray place of ruins and monsters. And white ate away that too, consuming until all was silent.

"What am I doing here?" he asked the ceiling.

It didn't reply. Some dog outside started barking, followed by a boy's laughter.

Sitting up, he glanced around at the room he was in. It was an inn, he felt fairly sure of that. But, "Where am I?" He clasped his hand to his chest, trying to think.

His name was Hurdy; he was pretty sure of that. He got up from the bed and looked out the window to see what was there. In the center of a grand stone plaza, a giant clear crystal sparkled brightly in the morning sun. Alfitaria. That had to be the place. But that still didn't answer the question of what he was doing here.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Sir, are you awake?"

"Yes," he called back, getting up to the door. But he was only in pajamas. Glancing around, he spotted a travel bag. It should have clothes in it.

Or not, since the person on the other side said, "Good morning then. I've got your laundry done, and some breakfast ready. I'll leave it out here for you to pick up."

"All right," Hurdy said, checking on his bag. Something on a string caught his eye: a small fragment of crystal, attached to a clam shell. The crystal glimmered faintly; it would need some myrrh to be recharged. "When did I get you?" he mumbled, taking the shell pendant and examining it closely.

No answer came into his mind. There were also no clothes in the travel bag. But, someone else had apparently done his laundry. He got back up to open up the door, finding a large basket with folded clothes and a pair of receipts. A tray with warm apple bread, ham slices, and poached eggs was sitting on a little table nearby. At that rustic scent, his stomach stirred in protest like he hadn't eaten anything this good in some time. So he might have been traveling before today. Hurdy just couldn't think of what he'd been doing before this morning.

He brought the breakfast and laundry in, shutting the door for privacy. While he ate, he felt like he food should remind him of something. Home? But he couldn't remember what he should remember. He couldn't remember anything.

Nothing at all.

White ate it.

Hurdy shuddered, dropping his fork on the plate. He recalled a feeling, perhaps from that dream, perhaps from longer ago… utter terror and helplessness… and then it was gone. But it was something he felt, from something he didn't remember. After a moment of trying to figure out what, he decided he was too hungry to do so and finished off the breakfast he had. He should be grateful that he had a good home-cooked breakfast, and a soft bed… and a safe place to sleep. That was all good, even if he couldn't tell himself the why and how of it.

Once he was done with the food, he set the tray aside to consider the receipts and laundry. The bill… two separate ones, from the innkeeper (who probably had been the one to talk to him) and from the laundry washer. Did he have money to pay the bills? He should; it was foolish to take these services without the ability to pay them even if he had really needed both. Had he? He probably had, since traveling was a rough life and there wouldn't always be a chance to wash his clothes. It was foolish to outside of a town because the miasma tainted everything outside the safety of the crystals.

Miasma… the terror flickered through his mind again, followed now by a bold hope that everyone told him was foolish to follow, just a dream. But a grand dream, and someone with him… someone…

His head hurt now. Hurdy rubbed at it. "Maybe I shouldn't try too hard," he said to himself, then searched the travel bag. There should be money. And yes, in one of the side pockets, there was a leather pouch with… "That's an awful lot of gil. How did I get it? Not that I could know."

But it was more than enough to pay for the bills. He separated out some to do so, then started sorting out his laundry and other things. Inside, he found the uniform of a preacher or priest. That felt right. That was who he was, a preacher. The coat and hat were reversible too, a purple and red pattern on one side, and a gold and white colored pattern on the other. Peculiar… what would a preacher need of such a dark-colored uniform? Hurdy liked the gold and white pattern better, so he flipped the coat around so he could put it on with that side showing.

As he was putting the rest of the clothes away, he found something else in his bag: two journals, one with a cover depicting a celestial chart and the other with a still-life of a bushel of apples and some wheat. Did he keep a diary? That was a relief to him, something that might explain how he'd ended up here. Hurdy picked up the celestial one and opened it up to the first page.

'Raem is a name I shouldn't forget. It is due to Raem that I forget. I forget who Raem is, other than that. After some thought, I have concluded that Raem is the dream figure that keeps eating my memories. (side-note: this is so. This is so. This is so.) I don't know how long he lets me go with making new memories, but eventually he comes back into my dreams and eats them again. I fear Raem. I hate Raem. I can't win against Raem. It is a never-ending battle against him (side-note: like he says) even if I try to run like my brother Gurdy says I should. But if someone doesn't win against Raem, the miasma will always hang over us. I wanted to free the world of miasma. I'm sure of that, but I don't remember it anymore.'

'Hurdy, don't tell people that we lost our memories. They don't believe us. They also mistake us for each other all the time. Comes of being brothers, huh? It does suck that I can't see you now, and talk to you. But hey, I can write you thanks to that journal sharing spell. We must have had good reason for that; it helps so much now, so I'll be honest with you. Promise.'

'Gurdy, did Raem get to you too? Were we together? I know someone was with me, a warrior I think.'

'No, that was Leon Esla you recall. I'm no warrior either, so we had to get someone to help us. I think we were doing something important then, but I don't remember. Of course I don't I remember. Neither of us do. We owe Leon, though, for something. I know it.'

"Raem." The name gave him chills. That was the name of the white thing that was in his dreams. And the one who ate his memories? It felt true.

At least he had these journals. Hurdy read through both journals, seeing what was recorded there. It seemed like his brother was a troublemaker, as he often apologized for giving him trouble with towns or caravans. Gurdy never said what he was doing to get into trouble. But then, Hurdy only chastised him a little. His brother was all he had of the past, and their shared journals the only way he knew. He tried to be a good influence, however he could.

Once he'd refreshed himself on what was in the journals, Hurdy secured his pack and headed out. He paid the innkeeper for both bills, thanking him for the delicious breakfast and excellent work with the laundry. Hurdy then went to the shops to pick up supplies he was missing, including a new journal since the other two were full. Thankfully, they had a nice one that had a spear and a lilty-style helm on the cover. He still wasn't sure where the money came from; maybe his brother? But it was plenty for what he needed.

A lilty woman paused by him as he was putting away the new journal. "What are you doing here?" she asked, disgruntled.

"Just some shopping," Hurdy said, glancing down at her. "Should I know you?"

"You certainly should," she said, glowering up at him. "Unless you truly don't remember like him."

"I don't remember anything before this morning," he admitted since she suggested it. "I'm sorry, I can't explain myself."

She sighed, closing her eyes. "I want to say it's all your fault, for leading him off to chase a crazy dream. But you both paid the consequences for it. I'm just worried about what could happen now."

"Why is that?" he asked. All his fault; that also felt true.

"What does it matter to you?" she asked back. "You'll forget again and there's nothing you can do about it. I should do something, but it's hard to know what to do."

"I can write things down," Hurdy said. "It's why I bought a new journal, you see. And I might be able to do something you can't."

"Well..." she thought about it, then sighed. "Could we at least talk back at my home?"

"All right, m'am," Hurdy said.

She had to talk the guard into letting him into the residential area of Alfitaria. As this was a town mostly of lilities, Hurdy had to duck through the doorway to get inside. Jona had a cozy home, with dried herbs hanging on the ceiling and a spinning wheel with spools of thread in a bin nearby. Some family portraits were on the wall, including a lilty knight in distinctive armor.

Seeing him look at that picture, Joana said, "He won that armor in a local tournament; the blacksmith made it fit perfectly to him. He's the only one who can wear it well. As he kept fighting well above others, he became known as the Black Knight."

"What's his name?" Hurdy asked, feeling like the silhouette was familiar.

"Leon Esla," Jona said.

"My brother told me to remember that name," Hurdy said. "Although neither of us remember why."

"It's because you talked him into trying to get rid of the miasma with you," she said. "You were here telling anybody who'd listen that there was some treasure in a desert that was key to doing so. I don't remember all of it, but you got Leon inspired and he went off with you. But then, you both disappeared somewhere in the swamp far to the west. Our boy, Leon Jr, he was born around that time. We've only heard rumors of what happened, that the Black Knight had gone mad and was attacking anyone who came across him." Jona paused and sighed. "That's not like him, but he seems to have lost his memories. I can't imagine what's that like."

"I don't know about him, but I feel like I know a lot and nothing at once," Hurdy said. "It must be tough on you too."

"The worst of it is that I think Leon has heard things wrong about his father," Joana said. "He's out practicing his spearmanship whenever he can get the chance. While he hasn't told me, others have said that he thinks that the Black Knight killed his father, not realizing that his father is the Black Knight. I fear that he's out to kill the Black Knight, if his father doesn't fall to something else before then. I've tried to tell Leon what's going on, but I get upset when I try." Then she frowned at him. "I still think this is your fault."

Maybe that was true; Hurdy couldn't really know. "Maybe I can do something to stop the two of them from coming to blows," he said. "Is Leon Jr. old enough to go out with a caravan?"

She shook her head. "No, he's just a boy. He might be able to understand by then. However, I've been given an offer to take a job in another town. I'd like to take it, but I can't help but fear that maybe we'd meet him out on the road, and something bad will happen to one or both of them. Meanwhile, you've been doing nothing helpful and there rumors of worse, like you're smuggling bananas."

Hurdy titled his head. "Smuggling bananas? I know bananas are rare, but I don't see the sense in outlawing or smuggling them."

Sighing, Jona said, "It's an expression for doing something ridiculous for money. Never mind, I shouldn't have talked to you."

"Well I could talk to your son or find some way to take your husband elsewhere," Hurdy sand. "You never know until you try, so why not do so as soon as you are able? I'll give it a try."

"That was the same kind of thing you talked Leon into this nonsense with," she snapped. "And it's the same kind of thing as before. While it'd be nice if you could save someone, somebody will probably end up dead anyhow. Or worse, as seems to have happened."

There was something strange to how her attitude shifted so strongly. But in any case, this was going badly. "I think I can still do something, so thank you for telling me." He bowed and headed out.

Once outside, he left the residential district and went back to the crystal plaza. It made for a good place to sit down and record what he'd heard. But, this was all his fault? White, or Raem, eating his memories through his dreams, something about Leon and the Black Knight, a father might be killed by his son…

That will happen, you can be sure of it.

"Hmm?" Hurdy looked up into the crystal he was sitting by. This was the largest crystal in the known world, so clear and pure. The town around it was curved in various ways, the people stretched out in changing ways. However, that wasn't what he was seeing. It felt like it wasn't the crystal talking to him either, but...

You cannot defeat Raem with your memories.

It was all white, all empty. All devoured. Something towered over them, something they could not defeat. But why was that so? Why were their memories not enough? What were their memories?

You were the one who had this crazy idea, foolish charlatan. It's your fault that you both are here, that you lost. Actually, there's no reason to kill either of you. You've lost and become hollow as a result. When you do die, there will be nothing left of you. But even if you forget, you should know this: this is all your fault.

"You're a fool, Hurdy. This was our responsibility and you're just going to stay here?"

"What could be better than getting rid of the miasma entirely? This research is fascinating; we could really make a difference with this!"

"But we're supposed to get the myrrh and get back to aaaaaa before the crystal fades. We have to go across the Jegon anyhow to get any more drops and we're low on capable fighters."

"You complain about how I fight anyhow, so what's that matter to you? I want to pursue this research."

What kind of holy man are you? Not even one, just pretending to be so people think highly of you. Your studies have ruined more than just you both. People have died to your words. Hmph, you should continue to forget with such delicious pain in your heart. Or maybe you should just die now. In that case, stay right there or run away right now. Either way, you will perish.

Hurdy's blood went cold as he saw the white emerge from the crystal, consuming whatever it touched. He realized that he'd continued writing while gazing into the crystal. Maybe he should… but no, he should do something to help the Black Knight. You had to try, even if you kept failing. Something would eventually work. Picking up his bag and journal, he walked away from the crystal. The white crept around the edges of his vision, removing the whole town of… where was he? What was he doing here?

He spotted a lilty boy off in an empty patch of grass, focused on practicing with his spear. That boy might… no, he would kill his father. Raem said so. But why?

Why was he walking when this white was consuming everything around him?

Hurdy ran until the white overtook him and he collapsed in fear and confusion.


"Hmm?" Who was crying?

And why was he lying face down on a dirt road?

Gurdy grumbled and sat up where he was. On rubbing his face, he found dirt and soreness there. His head hurt all over, actually, and his thoughts felt foggy. He was on a dirt road up a hill, towards a place that seemed dark and foreboding. Away from the hill, he could spot a large city and the crystal it huddled around… Alfitaria. Then he was probably outside of Tida, a place where there was a myrrh tree. Although he couldn't remember where he'd heard that.

"Ugh, how'd I end up out here with this hangover?" he grumbled. "Or did someone mug me?" He reached for his bag, thankfully at his side.

For some reason, there was an unfamiliar journal in his hands. It had a spear and helmet on it; the helmet had an emblem for the knights of Alfitaria. Maybe a gift from his brother? That might explain the clothes. He opened the bag, but drew a blank on what he'd been doing lately. The bag seemed well-stocked with food and travel supplies; the money pouch had plenty of money. If he'd been mugged, the thieves hadn't made off with much.

There was also a shell pendant with a crystal attached to the side of the bag. Glancing around, Gurdy realized that he was alone. That felt unusual, especially since he often mooched off others for protection. The protection circle was quite small, though. Looking at the pendant again, he realized the crystal was faint. It needed some myrrh. And there was a place with a myrrh tree nearby, conveniently.

That is, convenient if you didn't might fighting for it. Monsters couldn't be scammed. Maybe he could wait until a caravan came by. Even with it being faint, the crystal should protect him for a while. Gurdy opened up the journal to see if Hurdy had written anything explaining the gifts of the journal and pendant. But the writing was an uncharacteristic mess, starting off fine but getting crooked and panicked as it went on.

'Gurdy, I've learned something terrible here in Alfitaria. That Leon Esla is the Black Knight. I hired him for my mission to rid the world of miasma, so he was the one who was with me. Since he was there, he's lost his memory too. His wife told me about him some. She blames me for talking him into joining me on my mission. More importantly, he has a young son who believes that the Black Knight killed his father. The boy is now training to kill the Black Knight. We owe Leon Esla a lot, for something, so we owe it to him to figure out a way to clear things up.

'Raem is haunting me; I see his light in the crystal. it's all my fault. I'me the cause of all our suffering. I made selfish decisions that hurt others and myself. I'm a terrible person to fool everyone it's all my fault! What did I do? Stop it Raem! Tell me what happened! Leave me alone! Did I truly deserve this? Maybe so. Alfiteria will be devoured and I'll be surrounded by emptiness again. What did I do that was so wrong?'

"You don't deserve this, brother," Gurdy said, reaching for a pen to write back. "Maybe I do; I must have convinced you to do something that messed up your plans. You only wanted to do good. Hmmm."

The other two journals he kept were in his bag, full of exchanges between him and Hurdy. He read back over them trying to gleam some idea of what was going on. But other than this news about the Black Knight and Hurdy seeing something terrifying in Alfitaria's crystal, it wasn't clear what was most current. A lot of the journals seemed like older material.

"First things first, we don't want Hurdy to get paranoid or depressed," he said to himself, then began to write.

'Hey Hurdy, don't let the things Raem says get to you. My head's kinda foggy this morning (or noon?), but I know he just wants to make us suffer. If you think we should help this Black Knight, then I'll see what I can do. But he's supposed to be a vicious fighter; not sure how somebody like me is supposed to approach him.'

Something flickered out of the edge of his vision, so he swatted at it with his pen. There was a strange gurgle in response, getting him to look over and see something that was nothing, a spot of white light in the middle of air. Immediately, his nerves went tense and he knew he was in danger. He brought the journal up between him and the light, not knowing what it would do but hoping…

The light backed off. Get rid of that thing.

"N-no, I don't think so," Gurdy said, his heart racing but he did not want to give up this journal for anything. It was his only link to his brother, aside from somehow borrowing his clothes every now and then.

Get rid of it!

"No!" he said, using one of his rings to try burning it away. It was a spot of nothing.

It did not burn. But a scream of battle frenzy came from behind him, quickly followed by a figure of black armor that slammed a crooked sword at the light. However, it merely bobbed away. "I won't let you escape," the armored person growled.

Getting to his feet, Gurdy backed off, holding the journal to his chest. "Right, you tell that light," he said, trying Blizzard now that someone else was between him and the danger.

The Blizzard didn't work, and neither did the Black Knight's next attack (that had to be the Black Knight, distinctive armor and such). You should witness. After those strange words, the light rose up into the sky and vanished into the sun.

"You..." the Black Knight dropped his stance, weary now that the battle was put off, "you coward."

"Well, we couldn't do anything about him this time, but something has to work," Gurdy said, already getting some thoughts of how to gain some gil from this. But then, scamming the Black Knight, one of the fiercest warriors around, was probably not a good idea. It would be legendary if he managed it, though.

The Black Knight looked over at him. His height made it clear that he was a lilty, but his armor covered him entirely. "What, you could see the light too?"

Good quality armor too, not visibly banged up from years of fighting. And around his neck, there was a crystal with a weak glow. Perfect. Gurdy nodded. "Oh yes, but that spirit hides from most people. They're lucky without realizing it, since Raem just loves to torment people."

"Raem..." the lilty looked off. "That sounds right. You've been cursed by him too."

"Yes, me and my brother Hurdy," Gurdy said.

"We can't let him win, we won't turn hollow," the Black Knight said. "Would you fight him with me? I mean to get back my memories from him. Raem."

"Well, I'm more of a story-teller than a fighter," he said. "Although I can use magic half-decently. Still, I notice that your compact crystal is fading; so is mine, actually. There should be a myrrh tree up this hill and if the light is going to leave us be for the moment, we can go there together to see how we fight as a pair."

"Sure, although Raem will be back," he said. "It is a never ending battle for those of us cursed by Raem. We may as well take advantage of this reprieve to make sure we have some safety."

"Good, then let's go," Gurdy said, although he was worried about this prospect. The abandoned town seemed dangerous. But then, any place with myrrh trees was full of monsters and danger, and this crystal of his did need its power refreshed. He should be fine with this Black Knight along, though.


This ghost town was an awful place to be. The paths were crowded with monsters and lined with giant cobwebs. While he should keep an eye on the monsters here, he couldn't help but keep an eye on the gray skies. The light could come back at any time. It often came back when he relaxed his guard, so he could never let his guard down. Even though he was tired now, he would fight until he dropped of exhaustion. That was how he lived because he did not want Raem to drain him completely dry.

However, there was one good thing now. He was no longer the only one being chased by the light. He now knew of two others who were, and was traveling with one of them. Unfortunately, Gurdy was right in that he wasn't much of a fighter. He was better than he stated in terms of magic, having a variety of magic rings that he could cast with quickly. And once they found a red magicite in a chest, Gurdy was able to call on a small firestorm that wiped out all the cobwebs and many of the monsters around them. That made it easier for them to keep an eye out for the light.

But the light didn't come back, not even when they fought a living monstrous house with a cannon for an arm. That monster wasn't Raem, though, and they could banish it. His sword bashed it to smithereens while it burned from Gurdy's magic. Once it was gone, their way was cleared to a shining blue tree. There was a feeling of peace near it, which was unnervingly close to emptiness. There were no monsters, though.

"Here, if you put your crystal in this shell, both shards should pick up the droplet of myrrh," Gurdy said, holding the shell pendant he had out.

He nodded and took the pendant off his neck to place on the shell. With them both together, Gurdy placed them on a conveniently flat root underneath the coiled point of the tree. The presence of the two shards made the strange canopy of the tree shimmer, gathering moisture until a small drop fell off the point. The droplet of myrrh pooled in the shell, making the two crystals shine.

"With these small ones, they need to soak in the myrrh for about ten minutes," Gurdy said. "So how about we put together some lunch? I'm not sure when I actually ate last."

"We can't relax," he said, sagging down now that he wasn't in action. "The light can come back whenever it wants."

"Well you look like you could take a break," he said. "That was a tough crawl through this ghost town. Raem hasn't come back, so we can hope for some more time. How about this: you keep watch while I cook up something, and then I can keep watch while you eat."

"Fine, that works," he said, taking a walk around the myrrh tree to figure out the area. There was a ring of water around the tree, not deep but it made the ground uneven and damp. There wasn't a monster in sight, not even in the house monster's arena.

"Did you want to introduce yourself at any time?" Gurdy asked while he got out some rice and a pot.

"I don't know my name, but people call me the Black Knight," he said. It was frustrating to fight the feeling of being hollow when he didn't even have a name. He tried to think up a name for himself, but nothing felt right. The Black Knight was at least descriptive.

"Well, I've heard some stories you might be interested in since you are the Black Knight," he said, pulling out a jug of water and some cherries. "It's said around Alfitaria that the Black Knight used to lead their caravan as Leon Esla."

"Hmm?" The reaction was instant, hearing his name and wondering if someone was calling him. It fit like a glove. "Leon…? That seems to be my name."

"That's better than calling you the Black Knight," Gurdy said cheerfully. "I'm afraid that I learned a lot of this recently, so I haven't had time to make a compelling story out of it. But I'll tell you what I know. Leon Esla has a family, a wife named Jona and a son named Leon Jr Esla. When he was a caravanner, he won a competition in monster hunting. As a reward, he got personalized armor from the Alfitaria blacksmith, one that could be worn by no one else. That was how he became known as the Black Knight."

The story brought no images from his memory, since his memory was empty save for today. But, Jona's name felt dear. Having a son, that also felt right. And irritating since he felt like both of them were something very important that he should remember. "I can't say if it's true or not, but it sounds good," Leon said.

"I know, it could make for a great story with some time!" he said enthusiastically. "There's some more too if you wanted to turn it to tragedy. The facts I've told you are confirmed facts, but there are some rumors too, including that the Black Knight ended up killing Leon Esla. Leon Jr may have heard that one, because he spends his days training himself to fight rather than playing as most children his age do."

Leon paused in his patrol. He'd been thinking that he'd like to head to Alfitaria and see if he could find his family. But if his son might be vengeful, then it wasn't a good idea to go there. "I don't know how I'd dispel those rumors. I'm too busy trying to keep the light out of my mind to do anything else."

Gurdy now had the pot set up on a rack to not overcook the rice. "Right, the light is always watching. But have you considered trying to become a paladin? That would make quite a twist to the tale."

"Can that kind of thing be done anymore?" Leon asked.

"It should be possible if one could discover the method," Gurdy said. "They say that paladins can defeat enemies that other warriors can't touch, which may be true of Raem too, who knows? But it requires great dedication to earn such recognition and keep it, plus the method is possibly lost to time. Although if you could find a place with many old books, you might just find the one that details how to become a paladin."

While he only remembered what happened today, something did come into mind. "I know of a place with many old books."

"Oh really?" Gurdy said. Was he disappointed? It was hard to tell.

"It's not too far from here," Leon said. "It might even be in view if the sky were clear."

Some time later, Gurdy had some fruited rice for lunch ready, along with dried meat. It had been a long time since Leon had eaten something cooked fresh, at least he thought that was the case. It certainly felt unfamiliar to sit down, shift aside the face mask of his helmet, and take some time to eat. Still, he felt tense, like he should hurry up and finish. Gurdy was keeping watch as he said, although he seemed to be muttering something to himself and making notes all the while.

Leon felt weary by the time he finished eating; he'd been sitting for too long. He got up and stretched right as the strangest thing happened. Outside of the protection of the myrrh tree, the haze of miasma began to condense. That shouldn't happen, right? He grabbed his sword against some trick by Raem, causing Gurdy to become alert to the change too. Then, the miasma rolled right away with a gust of wind, like a wave of pure clean air was wiping it out of the sky. The flames from the campfire leapt out of the ring of stones that had been left nearby, catching onto some grass.

"Whoa, can't let that happen," Gurdy called, taking his gaze off the vanishing miasma to cast Blizzard at the escaping fire.

After watching a moment more, Leon turned to help him by kicking some of the damp dirt onto the flames. Between them, they got the fire put out in a couple of minutes. He checked the ground for embers, then looked back upwards. A clear blue sky instead of gray clouds of miasma sat over Tida Village now. "What was that?" Leon said, checking for the light. But there was only the sun.

"Maybe someone did dispel all miasma around the world," Gurdy said. "But who?"