Chapter 1

"Education is the greatest tool of man. Learn to harness it, and you can destroy anyone who gets in your way. Welcome back to Night Vale High, Scorpions!"

This was the first thing I heard over the intercom as I entered Night Vale High School for the first time. Why the man from the radio was trying to give me such terrifying advice, I have no idea, but it definitely set the mood for my first day as a scorpion. Am I officially a "scorpion" now? It's not like I've contributed to the school in any way. Not yet, at least.

As I walked through the halls, I felt less like a student and more like a tourist. According to the schedule keyed into my moms' car (they were LIVID), my first class is Biology. What a good idea, to take the hardest class and make it so I can't procrastinate. How am I going to get any work done? Then, I tried to remember where my new locker was. I stood still for a second, in the middle of the intersection of two hallways, trying to remember what the radio said.

This July, the NVHS Radio Station started broadcasting on the radio. Although the school didn't want us to know (they broadcasted it on AM radio, for Pete's sake), the broadcast was a list of names, followed by a sequence of four code corresponded to the lockers we were assigned. Luckily, we were tuned in to the station right after they called the "F" names. Now I just had to remember what the code was.

I considered visiting my guidance counselor, but I've heard horror stories from her office. The kids at Middle school said they heard that no one who leaves her office is how they were before. they are hollow, lifeless, entirely devoid of substance. Fearful as I was, it didn't seem like I had a choice.

I arrived at the guidance counselor's office with 15 minutes to spare. My plan was to go inside, ask her to pull up my locker number, and walk out. Easy. I took a couple of deep breaths and quickly swung open the door, being careful not to hit the wall behind it. The small, windowless room was filled with a dark magenta haze as, before my mortal eyes, I saw the GLOW CLOUD absorb the guidance counselor into it's fog-like body. Well' it was less that I saw it and more that I instantly knew every detail of what had happened in that room, on a cosmic level. every atom, every molecule. every guidance counselor fallen victim to the merciful

GLOW CLOUD. I stood, frozen in awe as the GLOW CLOUD slowly turned towards me. "WHAT IS IT YOU DESIRE, CHILD?" It said, slowly. I was too nervous to say anything. Also, I'm pretty sure I physically could not move, as if the immense power of the GLOW CLOUD had taken over my body. the GLOW CLOUD began to move towards me as I fought to stay put.

"DO NOT STRUGGLE, CHILD." it said. I then gave myself to the GLOW CLOUD. I trusted it to do the right thing, whatever the right thing was. I had no fear, no shame. I closed my eyes as I was absorbed by the merciful GLOW CLOUD.

I landed with a THUD on the warm tiled floor in front of a set of lockers. Oddly enough, the few kids around me didn't seem to question it. Do kids fall from the sky often here? Getting up, I realized the locker directly in front of me had a post-it note on it that read "Andrew Greene". It was my locker! I looked around; all the lockers had the same post-it notes on them, with other people's names instead of mine. I loaded my stuff into my locker, etched the password into the bottom of my shoe, and began leaving for class.

"wait, what time is it?!" I thought. I had planned to only take 15 minutes in the guidance counselors office, but I must have spent an hour or two with the GLOW CLOUD! I quickly started walking towards my class, frantically looking for a clock. nothing. I finally arrived at the classroom door, panting, only to find that the door was locked. No one was inside, the lights were off, and the desks were still stacked in the corner of the classroom. "Had I missed the whole school day?" I thought."Can the GLOW CLOUD write me a tardy slip for that?"

Just as I was about to head home, a tall, beautiful woman ran up to me, grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently. "Were you trying to break in to my classroom? Do NOT break in to my classroom without adult supervision!" she yelled. I tried to explain to her what had really happened, but I was at a loss for words. what had happened? "What time is it?" I asked. She pulled out a stopwatch and said "6:45." "6:45?" "That's what I just said! Now, for breaking in to my classroom..."

As I helped her set up the classroom for the first day of school, I couldn't help but think about what had happened this morning. School starts at 7:30. I arrived at the guidance counselor's office at 7:15. What happened next? Maybe I'll send in a Hey Cecil and see if the wisdom of an infinite being can help me figure this out. Or, maybe this doesn't need to be figured out. Some things are best left unsolved, right?

As I assembled desks and swept floors, I thought I heard someone talking over the intercom. they said "Education is the greatest tool of man. Harness it, and you can defeat all who stand in your way. Welcome back, Scorpions!"

It was the same message, but with different words. A different meaning. This time, I am a Scorpion.