For the Love of Dragons

Beralas awoke with a start, sat up and gazed about with wide eyes in the shadowy bedchamber. Her mind went searching and ah!

"You are awake," Magath whispered.

"Are we in Jess' quarters again?" Beralas asked her weyrmate.

"Yes," Magath moved very little, if at all, "Hallath is still sleeping. Jess went out earlier."

"I am awake, little one," said the big bronze. "It is time for us to discuss living arrangements."

"Living arrangements?" Beralas asked.

"Yes, Beralas, living arrangements. Jess has deep feelings for you," the bronze dragon continued, "Not dragon lust feelings. Queen-Mother-for-her-hatching feelings. He wants to provide for you and your children. He wants to assure your health and happiness as you bring L'ren's children into this world. He wants to be a father figure for you, giving you assistance with the babies and time to heal."

This was the most she had ever heard a dragon's voice in her head, and it wasn't even her dragon! She felt around in her mind for Magath again, and-wait, what?

"Children?" she queried aloud and to both dragons. "Hallath, I can only have one child from L'ren." She choked a little and swallowed a sob. Determined to continue this unique, startling conversation with Jess' dragon.

"Beralas, you carry two small babies from L'ren's seed" Hallath stated, "If you do not believe me, ask the one called Greta."

Beralas sat, stunned and immobile. Twins. Was it possible? She had dreamed of more than one child with L'ren, but that was with the man at her side and in the normal one-at-a-time scenario. And although she loved the idea of twins, how was she to support herself and twins? How could she provide care for twins when she was flying Thread? How could she, in all good conscience, now bring twins into the world without their father taking on half of the care, feeding and chores of twins?

She didn't realize tears were streaming down her face and falling into her clenched hands. She didn't realize Jess had come in and put something on the table in front of her unseeing eyes.

"Beralas," Jess said gently, quietly. Sure that she was totally unaware of his presence, he didn't want to startle her. He went around the table, sat down next to her, and took one of her clenched hands in his work calloused hand and gently began to stroke it.

"Beralas, honey," Jess said again.

Beralas' eyes lifted to his and his gut wrenched when he saw the desolation in her eyes. Again. He thought that she had been coming out from under the crushing weight of the loss of her lover.

"Beralas," he said again, knowing he was getting closer to having her full attention, "Beralas, I got a transfer for us. We can go to Telgar Weyr if you want. Or in you want warmer weather, we can go to Big Island.." his voice trailed off as he continued to look at the young woman.

Very quietly she asked, "Did you know that L'ren gave me twins?" It's like she hadn't heard Jess' news at all.

"Twins?" Jess queried, 'Twins, that's awesome, honey!"

"Awesome? More like awful!" Beralas broke down crying again, "How… am I…supposed…to take care…of one child…much less TWO? She wailed between sobs.

Jess let go of her hand and engulfed the woman-child in his bear-hug embrace.

"No," Jess said firmly, "This is Great news! It's great! You are a dragonrider and in the weyr, dragonrider mothers get all sorts of help because we dragonriders protect Pern from "Thread." We would be welcome wherever we go!"

Beralas was looking at Jess with confused consternation. Jess stopped talking. Maybe he had misread Beralas' feelings for him. He knew that her own father was a ne'er-do-well. Had thrown her out of the Hold when she got Searched and approved to stand on the hatching grounds of Faranth's fourth clutch.

From her own mouth, she told her group of friends—L'ren, R'bert, Jess, Gentelly, and Regent—about how she had been forced to come to the Weyr earlier than the Weyrleaders had expected because she had no other place to stay before the hatching.

The entire Weyr had been extremely welcoming. She'd made plenty of friends before she had even met L'ren. But…did she want to stay here? A constant reminder of her beloved in every corner of the Weyr?

"Going to a new Weyr would be difficult at first," Jess said, "It'll be different than when we came to Benden. We already knew everyone, but we'll know most of the people at any other weyr anyway, because we knew them all from Fort first."

"I think," she said hesitantly as she looked up at him, her eyes full of tears, but under control, "I think I'd like to be warmer. I'll go to Big Island."

"Beralas, we will go to Big Island," Jess said emphatically, "You aren't going to run off with my grandchildren that easily!" He chuckled, and watched as what he had said sank into her consciousness.

"You will? You'll come with me?" Beralas squealed and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Of course I will! I've been trying to tell you all along that you'll have help, that you won't be alone. Honey, you just haven't been able to listen, have you? We have the approval of B'tol and Loratta of Big Island. And Torene and Mihall have wished us well and given us their blessing," Jess said, "I have also been talking to a few other people who have been wanting or needing a change. I have Weyrwoman Loratta's request to bring more craftspeople and support staff when we relocate." Jess stopped for air. This was the most he had spoken all at once in quite some time. They both settled back into their chairs.

Jess and Beralas stared off into the distance, thinking of all the new things that awaited them at Big Island, "I sure hope we can convince them to change the name," Beralas commented, "'Big Island' seems rather simple and dull."

Jess laughed, "I was thinking the same thing. Great minds must think alike because B'tol and Loratta want to change is to "Ista."

"Oh, that's very pretty," Beralas said, "Let's get started right away okay? I want to help as much as I can before I get heavy. But first, I really ought to check with Greta to see if I'm really carrying twins like your dragon says I am!"

"My dragon!" Jess exclaimed, "What's my dragon got to do with this?

"Everything!" Beralas caroled out, and leaped to her feet and danced around the room, "He's the one who told me!"

Jess sat down with a grunt, a confused look on his face, and asked Hallath to explain.

I told her she was carrying twins, Hallath said, somehow, I know.

Jess just stared at his dragon through the opening into the dragon's weyr.

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Nora was sitting at an early lunch with her complement of friends around her. She was feeling sad again. Not as heavily sad as before. But cold and lacking feeling of anything, try as she would to bring the warmth of life back into her limbs, she was still struggling with that feeling of blankness. The heavy blackness was fading a bit, but still nagged around the edges.

She looked across at Torene, and Torene seemed to know the instant she locked eyes with Nora that the girl was facing that thought again, that thought of being "dragonless." Torene got to her feet and quickly went around the table to where Nora sat. She slid into the space next to Nora and took the slightly shivering girl into her embrace, straddling the bench. She spoke to Alaranth, too, who passed the message to all dragons.

"Norabeth," Torene said slowly, waiting for her warmth to envelope the former queenrider. She turned her head, looked at Mihall and all the latent love for her husband welled up in her eyes. He stared at her a moment, watched her slightly tip her head towards Nora and he got up and went around the table and straddled the bench behind Torene, slid his arms around his wife and Nora and hugged them both close.

"Nora," Torene said again, "do you feel those beating hearts around you, my dear friend? Do you feel those other arms around you?" She watched as Kristo lifted a leg over the bench and snugged up next to his beloved and wrapped her in his arms from her other side, and slightly nodded.

Uloa and T'mas came and knelt beside her seat and hugged the girl around the waist. Jess and Beralas slid their hands across the table to Nora's arms and added their warmth to the others.

Nora felt gentle pressure and warmth on all sides. Warmth filled all the frigid places left behind when her beloved Tenneth had died. Finding the warmth seemed to be getting easier, yet all the time she seemed to be filled with dread and cold.

"Dear heart, there are more of us here than can be seen. Can you feel the affection of all the dragons of Pern?" And with that sentence, Norabeth felt a flooding of warm, gentle thoughts spilling into her head from around Pern. Each one separate, yet not a cacophony, merely a steady, gentle flow of warmth moving into her bones.

She lifted her head, tears finally not falling for the first time in a long time. The cold receding even more. The blank wall of nothingness lessening, and lessening again.

Right then, Torene decided that Nora and Kristo should go with Beralas and Jess to Big Island. There were still fire lizards there and it was not a huge leap to think a fire lizard or two might help her friend feel a little more whole. Her mind ran quickly through the people who populated the newest weyr. She might just have some addition people whom she would get in place to help Nora overcome this. Torene asked Alaranth to tell Hallath to ask Jess if he knew who had fire lizards at Big Island.

Jess' eyes lost focus a second and then his eyes sought out Torene's. He got up, helped Beralas to her feet and the pair settled at the table close to Torene. Uloa and T'mas eased off their knees and settled next to Nora and Kristo, who had their backs to the couple.

"I believe Donita's young son, Trevane, has a queen, with a bronze from another hatching," Jess said quietly, "and from what Weyrleader B'tol said, the little gold is about ready to rise again." Here he stopped and studied the back of Torene's head for a moment.

Torene gave Nora another hug, which was returned, and Torene leaned her friend back against her husband-to-be, stood up and looked down at the pair. Nora looked very comfortable now in Kristo's arms, relaxed and happier and with a small smile on her face. Torene nodded as if to herself. She turned and faced Mihall, who had merely leaned back when his wife had stood up. She kissed him lightly on the forehead and stepped around him to settle next to Jess. Mihall nodded to Nora, then swung his leg over the bench, picked up his cup of klah and continued to watch his wife.

A slow smile began to take shape on his face as Jess guessed what Torene was about, and Torene smiled in return. Beralas looked from one to the other, baffled momentarily. Then she smiled too.

"Would you like me to ask Nora if she would like to 'escape' Benden with us and settle on Big Island? Beralas asked quietly.

Torene nodded. This girl was quick, Torene thought approvingly, too bad she didn't have a queen.

Beralas' eyes shown with excitement. She'd have lots of new friends at Big Island. She hoped the Big Islander people would appreciate and adopt "Ista." Of course, she mused, they could always call the weyr Ista.

There was a general breaking up of the group, then Torene stood up, checked Nora's expression one more time, nodded to her, leaned down and kissed Mihall again, like she just couldn't resist, then turned to head towards the other side of Benden through the depths of the cavern. Beralas fell in next to her. Torene glanced over at her and Beralas smiled widely.

"I think we might both be going to the same person to get exceedingly exciting news," Beralas said, glancing over at Torene.

"Really?" Torene stopped and looked fully at Beralas. "We know your good news, don't we?"

Beralas shook her head, eyes dancing with excitement, "Hallath, Jess' dragon told me I am carrying twins! Greta is just going to verify it for me!" A great smile lit her face again. She had started to move on.

Torene didn't budge.

"Hallath," Torene said slowly, "Hallath says you're carrying twins?"

Beralas stopped and turned back to Torene.

"Yes," she said quietly, "I know. How does a dragon know? Much less a male dragon?"

Torene studied on those two questions a moment. How would a dragon know? The fire lizards knew when babies were about to be born, that was a well-known fact. Alaranth had known when she, Torene, was about to give birth. Again, the mechanics of it escaped humans, but it was fact.

Alaranth? Torene queried her dragon.

Yes, Alaranth answered her unspoken question, I knew you had a boy-child coming. I thought you knew. If I had known you did not know, I would have told you. Just as I am now telling you that you have a girl-child growing and Beralas has one boy, one girl. May I continue my sun bathing now? Alaranth asked plaintively.

Torene felt for a nearby chair and plunked herself down onto it.

Beralas stopped and settled into the chair next to her.

"See? Your dragon just told you, didn't she!" Beralas queried, "Isn't it amazing?" the girl bubbled, eyes shining and bouncing a little in her seat, "I'm going to have a boy and a girl whose daddy is my sweet Loren!" Beralas slowly settled completely back into her seat and turned to Torene.

"I hope they both look like L'ren," Beralas said.

"I think," Torene said, "you will love them whether they look like L'ren or they look like their grandparents or look like you! You'll love them because they are the essence of the love you share with L'ren."

"You're right," Beralas said. She got to her feet and held out her hands to Torene.

"Let's go confirm all this good news!" The younger woman pulled Torene to her feet and the two of them took off running like kids to the dispensary.

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Julie had awoken miserable. Rementh could feel her rider's malaise from where she rested in her weyr. She rightfully guessed that the woman had spent a restless, sleepless night worrying about all that she had learned from her dragon.

"Rementh," Julie whispered in her own mind, "I know changes were supposed to take place this morning, but I feel awful. Can we please postpone the chores until later today?"

Rementh looked at her rider through the partition, heaved a sigh, slowly closed her eyes and went back to sleep, allowing her rider to do the same. There would be time enough when Julie was feeling better.

When Julie awakened later that morning, she could tell by the placement of the sun that she'd had a reprieve and it was nearing lunch time. She stretched carefully, sure that she was going to be sore all over from the 'mating chamber under the trees,' but surprisingly, there wasn't much soreness, only in one spot where a rock must have dug into the back of her thigh.

She slid out from under the covers, padded over to the wash basin

and dipped a fresh cloth into the chilly water. She wiped her face and hands and slipped into her clothes.

Julie looked into the weyr and found that her beautiful golden dragon was gone, and she couldn't help it, she sighed in relief.

Thinking she would get the jump on her dragon, she left her quarters and went down into the dining area of the big old volcano. She peeked into the dining room, and heaved a sigh of relief. It was early yet, and the meal was still in preparation stage.

She found Tarrie in the midst of cutting up meat for stew and presented herself in front of the other woman with a small salute.

Tarrie looked at Julie for a full count of 5, then asked, "What can I get for you today, Queenrider Julie?" Tarrie said in her best 'polite speak.'

"Oh. Nothing. No, I'm here to help," Julie said quietly. She was not about to admit that her dragon forced her to be here. She'd be the butt of jokes from now until eternity. No, she decided to just play it low-key, like she was feeling bad about not helping out.

"I, uh, I've just been feeling pretty low, not helping out n' all," Julie said, eyes downcast and nearly mumbling.

Tarrie's left eyebrow went up and her whole demeanor never changed, but inside she was chortling. Julie? Feeling low for not helping out? What was she playing at?

"So, you want to help? And you aren't going to throw a fit when I tell you that we need a whole mess of greens cleaned for today's salad and side dish?" Tarrie asked. Tarrie knew that handling greens was Julie's least favorite task, but that was also the task with which Tarrie needed the most help. So, she didn't hesitate foisting it upon the woman who had been missing from the kitchen for so long.

"No," Julie said, meekly, although she was seething inside. She kept her head down so her eyes wouldn't give her away. Damn her anyway, she thought, she knows I hate greens, I could just scream! Greens in-

A more pleasant attitude will make the task at hand more pleasant Rementh said to her rider. This has to be genuine or my promise to leave this place will still be carried out.

Julie jerked in surprise. You startled me! Julie admonished her dragon, although her tone was much more pleasant than those of a moment ago, I was just taken by surprise! Julie tried to explain to her dragon.

Rementh rumbled deep in her chest. She knew her rider was dissembling. She said nothing more and Julie was startled back to the present when Tarrie cleared her throat. Tarrie knew by Julie's preoccupation that Julie was conversing with her dragon. Tarrie was extremely curious as to what about.

"I've got greens that need cleaning, or if you want to do the desserts, I have pumpkin pudding and butterscotch milk bread that need preparing," Tarrie said, allowing herself to be a little generous.

At this point, Rementh did not care if her rider did the desserts or the greens, although to her, greens seemed useless. Julie latched onto the desserts like a drowning man clutches a life preserver.

"Are the pans, milk, staples and extracts in their usual places?" Julie asked Tarrie.

"Yes, Julie, they are," Tarrie said, turning back to her meat cutting.

Julie ran down the stairs to the cold storage and gathered up a flagon of milk, the round container of raw, nearly frozen pumpkin, the butter container, the sweetening and the flour canisters. Back upstairs, she searched out the pans she wanted, the bowls for mixing and the utensils she would need for whipping the pudding and making the butterscotch bread.

Makayla came in from the dining cavern where she had been sorting the clean utensils into piles on clean linen for the people that would be coming to lunch. She stopped dead when she saw Julie and her eyes grew wide as they found her mother. Deboreen had come in from the other direction, saw Julie working, and glanced at Tarrie, who shrugged. She simply shook her head at her daughter and with a small gesture of her hand, invited Makayla to come to her side.

Makayla looked up at her mother, saw the serene smile on her face and relaxed. She knew her mother had seen Julie, and that everything was okay as far as she was concerned.

Without any instruction, fuss or talk, Makayla picked up the huge bundle of greens that was nearly as big as she was and carried them over to the huge basin that had been put together nearly seamlessly by the stone workers. She carefully opened up the spigot a little and let the water splash gently over the greens as she sorted through them. She placed the light green and succulent ones on a small tray; the longer, darker greens on a bigger tray and the wilted ones she put in a tub to be taken to the pigs later.

The work in the kitchen cavern went on industriously for quite some time. Tarrie finished the stew and hung the caldron over the hearth fire with the help of an elderly gentleman who helped with all the chores he could in the weyr. Makayla and Deboreen converged in the kitchen from different areas of the preparation area. Makayla had the two trays full of greens ready for the buffet table and her mother brought the containers of milk, cheeses, butter and soured creams on a huge tray up from the cold room. Everything for the noon meal was dovetailing nicely.

They glanced around and saw Tarrie leaving the work table where Julie was still working and at her small gesture towards the ovens, divined that Julie had gotten the butterscotch bread into the ovens. They met at the top of the stairs to the cold room and were far enough away from Julie for Tarrie to speak without fear of being heard.

"Julie has done the desserts for supper tonight, but in reverse order so the pudding will take a while to set up," Tarrie said, "could you please put them in the coldest part of the room so they will be done in time?"

"Yes," Deboreen said, taking Makayla's hand and going down the stairs.

"Mama," Makayla asked quietly, as though fearful of being heard herself, "Is the dragonlady going to be working with us every day again?"

"I don't know, sweetheart, I don't know," her mother said with a smile, "but we will be polite and friendly until she isn't, okay? Then we will see what happens."

The little girl watched her mother move the pans of pudding into the deeper cold of the permafrost of the mountain. She looked up trustingly at her mother, "Okay." Then they retraced their steps to the main floor and watched as the dragonriders came in.

Torene and Uloa came into the dining area from practice, slapping their gloves free of dirt, shaking their hair out after removing their helmets and reaching down and slapping the dirt from their boots with their gloves. Mihall and T'mas were right behind them and nearly blundered into them when the two women stopped abruptly. Looking over their beloveds' heads, they saw Julie working industriously at something at a prep table.

Torene and Uloa looked at Tarrie, who shrugged and gestured toward the serving area. Telling them in shrugs and gestures that she knew nothing except what was in front of them all. Julie was here. Julie was helping. That's all anyone knew.

The four went to the washing area and took care of hands and faces, gathered up plates, bowls, utensils. They slid these onto a tray and Torene dished up the hearty stew while the men gathered bread and drinks. Uloa had gone to the other side of the hearth and picked up the sweets that were on the table there, then they all settled down at a table with Beralas, Jess, Greta and Bichárd D'Amato. All four nodded to the other four and exchanged greetings.

"What's with Julie," Greta whispered to Torene. Torene shrugged eloquently and nodded toward Tarrie.

"Tarrie might be the better one to ask," Torene said very quietly, although they were nearly an entire hall away from Julie.

Greta and Beralas had glanced at the queenrider and given her no more attention, fearing that the weight of their looks might draw Julie's attention to them. Which was the last thing they wanted.

More and more riders and weyr folk came in from out of doors, cleaned up, picked up their lunches and settled down at tables to sink into the sumptuous stew. Tarrie was a great cook and they all looked forward to her stews. No one said a word to Julie, most of them missed the diminutive queen rider altogether, and those that didn't, were not about to incur her wrath by speaking to her.

Which ended up making her feel very uncomfortable. Why aren't they saying anything? Can't they even be civil and acknowledge me? she asked herself. Why are they ignoring me? Don't they see me here, working hard at making their dessert for tonight?

She was just starting to work herself up into a rage when Rementh asked quietly, As oft as you were angry, do you not see why they are trepidatious to break their silence?

NO! Julie started to fume, I was never so angry that I couldn't be compl-

Oh yes but you were, her golden dragon growled in response. Julie quieted immediately. She had seldom heard her dragon growl, let alone at her!

"I want to thank you, Julie," Tarrie said from behind her. Julie whirled around, surprise in every line of her, her eyes wide, her lips trembling.

"Wha-what?" Julie asked quaveringly, still shaken by her dragon's tone.

Tarrie looked at her speculatively a moment, "I want to thank you, Julie. You haven't lost your touch with desserts. This looks absolutely wonderful." Tarrie was unstinting in her praise. It occurred to her that Julie had been jumpy the whole time she was working on the two desserts. And the only reason someone would be so jumpy was if they were preoccupied. There had been no one near the woman all the time she had been down here. This told Tarrie that Julie's golden dragon Rementh was somehow responsible for her preoccupation. Which, to say the least, was definitely different.

Tarrie continued to look at the ill at ease Julie, made up her mind and asked, "Are you staying for lunch or do you have to be somewhere? Because if you were going to stay for lunch, I'd be happy to join you. It's been awhile," Tarrie said pleasantly, "we could catch up on news and such."

Julie looked up at Tarrie with something akin to astonishment, "You'd sit and eat lunch with me?" Julie asked incredulously.

"Sure," Tarrie said with a smile, "You were insufferable, Julie, not contagious." Tarrie kept the smile on her face when she said this, wanting to see how Julie would take the ribbing.

She saw Julie's head come up, and a flash went across her face, but it was immediately banished. Julie smiled meekly herself and said, "Yes, I guess I had been pretty rude at times, huh." Tarrie nearly choked. Sometimes!

"Yeah, you could say that," Tarrie said ruefully. "Here, let me get us bowls and such."

"Okay," Julie said, "I'll get drinks and bread. And we can sit over there." She purposefully chose a place a little apart from the others.

"That's good. Is it okay if Boris joins us shortly?" Tarrie asked hopefully.

Julie thought about that for a moment. She had company for lunch, so she wasn't having to sit alone. She could afford to be nice. "Sure," she said, "B'ris can join us for lunch if he wants."