"Calvin's Early Retirement"

Today was the day. It was the one event Calvin had been waiting all year, let alone all month for. Today was none other than his birthday! He was finally turning seven years old after what felt like an eternity of being six. Immediately after waking up, he turned over to Hobbes' side of the bed and started shaking him.

"Hobbes!" he cried as he throttled his tiger friend. "Today's the day!"

Hobbes just squirmed and rolled over.
"That's nice" Hobbes responded, completely uninterested, "wake me up for breakfast."

Noticing that he was unaware of what day it was, Calvin shook him harder.

"Don't you know what day this is?"

"…Sunday…"

"It's my BIRTHDAY today, you fur-filled bag of lumps!"

Upon hearing this, Hobbes sprang up and joined his friend in jovial celebration.

"Happy birthday, Calvin!" Hobbes congratulated.

"You can save the birthday wishing for later" assured Calvin. "Let's see what Mom & Dad have in store for me downstairs!"

As it turned out, Calvin's parents had all the essentials for what made a kid's birthday great. A big chocolate cake and several presents, all tailored to Calvin's liking and personal interests. Calvin's eyes glittered in amazement. He barely even paid attention to his parents talking to him.

"Calvin!" his father called out to him, snapping his son out of his daze.

"Wha-what?"

"We were just asking if you're happy with all this."

"Oh, yeah yeah. I love this! Thanks Mom & Dad."

Calvin's mother then kneeled down and gave him a kiss.

"To think, Calvin" she said, "you've really grown up these past seven years."

"Indeed" agreed his father. "Soon you'll be a full-fledged adult!"

Normally, Calvin wouldn't take any interest in what his parents would tell him, largely in fact that it would usually involve his father mentioning 'building character'. But when they mentioned the prospect of Calvin growing up and being an adult. Calvin made a face. A face he usually made the moment he latched on to an idea or notion. And this particular notion would affect the way he lived his life forever, or at least he thought so…

Later that day, after all the gifts were unwrapped and he had his share in chocolate cake. Calvin and Hobbes held a conference in his room.

"Hobbes" asserted Calvin, "I've made a decision."

Hobbes was still groggy after eating so much cake.

"On what?" he asked between groans.

"As you know, I am officially seven years old. Next year, I'll be a year older, and another year older the next, and then…"

"You really should brush up on your numbers if you're going to be…"

"Exactly what I'm about to get at!" Calvin interrupted the tiger. "As you can see, I'm not getting any younger. Things will be harder for me to do as I get older. So as of today…I am announcing my retirement!"

"Retirement?" asked a puzzled Hobbes. "Retirement from what?"

"Everything I had to do during my life" Calvin explained. "I can't spend the rest of my life doing things like chores, homework, or anything like that. I gotta start relaxing and focusing on securing the legacy I want to leave for future generations!"

Hobbes, like always, had a hard time comprehending what exactly Calvin was trying to achieve here.

"Sooo…you're basically going to be lazy the rest of your days?"

"It's not being lazy if you're retired."

Hobbes then walked off to read some of Calvin's comics he received for his birthday.

"And what do you think you're doing?" Calvin asked. "Those ARE my new comics after all."

"But you used to read comics when you were six, and you said you're RETIRED from all that six-year-old stuff, remember?" the tiger smugly replied.

Realizing this, Calvin facepalmed himself out of frustration. This retirement business was going to be trickier than he thought.