AN: Apologies for the delay on getting this posted, life happens sometimes. This chapter's epigraph is brought to you with even more apologies, this time to Britney's Toxic, which was too fitting to pass up. Enjoy!

~I.I.~


Through the underbrush, I'm crawling

A guy like me deserved a warning

This jungle is appalling.

.

There's one escape I'll relate

I need your kiss to be sedate

Your antidote, it's pretty great.

.

Those vines slap you down

Charging mushrooms spin you 'round and 'round

I just yelled ow.

.

Every inch of this place is poisonous

Those toxic frogs with their blow darts

Trapped with you in this pointless paradise

Now it's entered my blood

'Cause this whole place is toxic.

So, kiss me one more time

To get rid of the toxic.

.

~ Scribbled on a sheet of graph paper, unsigned but we all know who wrote it.


Back in camp, Ffeldy found that he'd missed the departure of the Lord Faren search party. A scout pointed him in the direction of a ravine.

"Baroness Jasmina only left half an hour ago. If you hurry, you might catch them."

Ffeldy descended into the ravine feeling oddly effervescent, like he was strolling through a curtain of champagne bubbles. By Dwayna's wings, he couldn't stop thinking about Atalanta, about her hand sliding over his shoulder as he'd assembled the glider frame. The smooth slope of her neck he'd traced as he'd adjusted her straps. The lingering buzz of her electric kiss on his cheek. His thoughts became increasingly vivid and distracting as he went on, stumbling over roots and sliding down rock-faces until he found himself on a trail in a canyon so deep, it might have been a cavern. He still couldn't shake the memory of Atty's body pressed against him. Last night in her tent, they'd—

Ffeldy didn't see the green, spikey-top mushroom until it rushed at him, cap lowered like a battering ram. It took him out at the knees. Ffeldy lay stunned on his back, looking up just in time to see the mushroom hop about on stubby legs come charging at him again. Unable to reach his stowed weapon, Ffeldy crossed his arms over his face and hoped for the best.

"Ow!" The second impact sent Ffeldy sprawling down the path. "Enough is enough."

This time he used the momentum to roll to his feet and reached for his weapon. The hammer made a sizzling noise as he flipped on the electric field to the highest level, safety settings be damned. With a few solid whacks he made short work of his attacker, which exploded as it died, knocking Ffeldy off his feet one last time and filling the air with the mouth-watering aroma of grilled mushroom. To Ffeldy's horror, his stomach growled. He grimaced when he realized he'd never gotten around to breakfast.

Shadows and shuffling noises bounced around him off the canyon walls. He needed to get out of here. Taking off on his own had been a terrible idea. He'd only just chastised Atty for her lone wolf tendencies, and now he'd just ignored his own advice. Ffeldy shouldered his weapon and broke into a run as a dozen more spotted and spikey mushrooms converged on their fallen companion, bouncing and gibbering. Some of them hurled sporelings after Ffeldy, which detonated at his heels, spattering him with toxins.

Ffeldy didn't stop running until he burst out of the canyon's mouth and into a lush sunlit jungle clearing. He threw his pack down into the grass, rummaged through it for a blue vial, and doused the raw acid burns on his skin with a cooling elixir.

"It's about time, engineer." Canach stood under a tree as if he'd been waiting. "I was starting to think you wouldn't make it." He blended into its bark a little too well.

Ffeldy recovered from his surprise. "Err…Baroness Jasmina said something about leading another rescue mission into the jungle. I was hoping to catch up. Were you waiting for me?"

"They've gone on ahead. I overheard them wondering where you'd gotten yourself off to and decided to hang back because, well…" Canach gestured toward Ffeldy's acid-spattered boots. "Jasmina seemed convinced you'd put your lot in with the Commander instead. And why wouldn't you? That's where the glory is." He fixed Ffeldy with a hard stare. "And other frivolous human notions of romance that are beyond my ken. I can't say I approve. I'm shocked you're still alive at all, honestly, with your head up there in the jungle canopy." Canach turned and strode briskly down the trail.

Ffeldy jogged to catch up. "Haven't you ever fallen in love?" he asked, falling into step alongside Canach.

"Not in the human sense, no. I've seen how love makes them stupid and blind. I don't understand the desire to share a home or a bed. That strikes me as uncomfortably claustrophobic. And the feeling of—how is it described? Fluttering ingested lepidoptera? How horrifying." The warm jungle breeze riffled through Canach's leafy exterior as he spoke, and Ffeldy found himself rather jealous at how free the sylvari seemed from the more inconvenient human emotions.

"It's quite pleasant, I assure you," Ffeldy shot back. "The butterflies in the stomach feeling."

"My, how defensive you are. Have I struck a nerve, engineer?"

Ffeldy chose to ignore the question. "How do sylvari experience love?"

"With sylvari, love happens as a mutual connection in the Dream. Nor is it limited to just two of us. We share our thoughts, our experiences, and see the world filtered through each other's eyes. Humans might think of it as on a more cerebral plane, though the term itself is inaccurate for us. Meanwhile, love among you lot seems to occur…significantly lower down."

Ffeldy's face burned. "You make it sound so vulgar."

"If you say so." Canach made a sound that might have been laughter. "From what I've observed during my time in Kryta, it causes more trouble that it's worth."

"You aren't wrong there," admitted Ffeldy. "I can tell you're just itching to give me advice. I admit to being, um, distracted, but you may have noticed that I'm here regardless. Go on, what should I do about it? Apart from joining your mysterious Dream, as romantic as that sounds."

"Have you tried bottling it up and ignoring it?"

Now it was Ffeldy's turn to laugh. "That's the usual way of things, yes."

"And it's not working, is it?"

"I think…proximity has become a problem."

"Proximity. You and your engineering terms. What about diversionary tactics? Can you transfer your attention elsewhere?" Canach raised his brows quite seriously. "Like onto me, for example."

Ffeldy spent a confused minute trying hard to simultaneously imagine and block out that suggestion. "Umm…"

"Humans are falling for me all the time. Why not you?"

Ffeldy didn't feel like explaining the complex finer points of human attraction. "That's not really how it works."

"I'm not satisfied with your answer. Are you worried cuddling could be a problem?"

Ffeldy side-eyed the sylvari, who sounded perfectly earnest. He chose his next words with care and delivered them with a grimace. "Should I be?"

"Oh, I might look spiny, but I can be soft as Stachys byzantine if I choose. If I'm reading your expression correctly, you're highly tempted to take me up on that."

"Look here, Canach—"

"Did you think this was a joke, engineer?"

"I…can't ever tell with you."

"I'm just – what's the Krytan term?"

"Trolling me?"

Canach had been carefully observing their surroundings as they walked, but he broke off to give Ffeldy a long, withing glare. "No. I am not 'trolling' you. I find your romantic conundrum amusing, yes, and I'm genuinely trying to understand you. When offered convenient companionship of a kind you seem to like, you reject it out of hand. Meanwhile, I can feel literal heat burning you up from the inside. I find it strange you'd insist to continue on your current course. That is all."

Ffeldy couldn't keep his mouth shut. "That's all?"

"Listen up, engineer. You asked me for my advice and my opinion. I gave it. Your feelings for the commander are getting in the way, and I think it would be better if you either turned them off or turned them elsewhere. If you can't handle a sylvari's uninformed perspective on human feelings, next time don't ask."

"I'm sorry," said Ffeldy, annoyed that he was the one apologizing.

They walked on in silence for a while, threading their way along another rocky escarpment. Ffeldy used the narrow path as an excuse to fall back behind Canach. He forced himself to scan their surroundings, and each time Atty intruded on his concentration, he pretended to seal those thoughts up in a jar.

As they arrived at the base of another valley, Canach held up a hand and froze. Ffeldy stumbled to halt behind him and reached for his weapon.

He hissed, "Did you hear—"

Just the, a fence of glowing white teeth-like protrusions appeared to rise from the ground, surrounding them.

"Don't move," barked Canach.

Ffeldy nodded once. "I think I know a trap when I see one."