So I am aware of the errors in grammar and what not I decided to post this unedited version as I didn't want to not post anything this week. But hopeful in a week, all chapters will be edited and fixed. I own nothing

Chapter 4: Return

It took a bit longer than it honestly should have, to report our dealings with the group of murders. We all decided it best not to let them know much of our findings as telling them right away that those fiends we quelled were in fact members of the Death Brigade who seemed to be following their agenda, would have put a huge nail in the coffin for peace. That and the fact that their leader also showed up the same day would have tantalized suspicions even further. Thus when making the report I left out the details with my meeting with him, additionally Delita and I stayed back when the others went towards the barracks and removed all signs of the Death Brigades markings, so when they went to collect the bodies, they would find it hard-pressed to know who they belonged too. Though if I'm to guess where the blame would follow, the Southern Sky was about to be slandered maliciously.

Even with the tentative truce between Duke Goltana and Duke Larg, peace was but a stone's throw away across the continent. Though, I could live with the slander to save an innocent man and his followers from being persecuted wrongfully. I can always try to fight for peace between enemy factions later. What was I saying how in the hell was I to do that.

Leaning back into the carriage, we still had roughly a day across the Mandalia plains before reaching Egarose, sitting here thinking of peace between to nations were far beyond my current capabilities, I'll leave that to my brothers. Speaking of the family it would be three months since I'd last seen any of them, granted there have been moments in time where my brothers would be gone and father too would have disappeared wildly without letting a soul know where he went. Hmm, truthfully there were times when I was the only one in the castle, though I guess with Delita and Tietra being there it wasn't all bad. Alma had a gift for the holy arts since birth thus she spent quite a bit of time in the Orbonne Monastery learning the ways. I guess I too had a knack for it but I was more or less fixed into being part of the Military, besides Alma hated swords. Ever since I tried lifting fathers when I was a child, it probably it almost killed me, as it fell blade first towards my head. Good thing father came at the right moment or I'd probably not be alive today. Oh was he mad that day, it was the first lecturer I think I ever got from him, and probably the last, as Dycedarg took care of the lecturers as I got older?

Aaah, I took in the fresh air around me, after yesterday's incident sleep has eluded me. I keep picturing the men I slew, and yet what terrified me the most wasn't the act, but my face. Every time I close my eyes I could see my face through their eyes, as life ebbed from their bodies. I looked like a man who's killed more men in a lifetime that he should have ever had too. Even sitting here I feel only a slight pain in my chest for their lives, but truthfully I feel not much else. What they did was wrong, what they were going to do was wrong, but they were still living breathing people, who I took from this world. I should be feeling remorseful and yet I don't quite know if I am. I hate it, I know that much, the act of taking a life, but I know its sometimes out of your hands. I was defending myself and those around me.

"You seem to be stuck in thought there Ramza," said Delita sitting on the opposite end of the Carriage. He was the only one with me other than the driver. The others were in a separate cart.

"I've been replaying yesterday a lot in my mind," I said slowing raising my head to view him. He had a rather haunted look himself.

"Yes well so have I." he replied rubbing the back of his neck, "Tell me Ramza how did you feel, after everything was done…I mean you lost some self-respect by vomiting but,"

"Ha, ha, ha, you think you're funny; but truly, I don't know how I feel,"

"I feel, unsure myself, I mean it was the first time I took a life, and yet I feel rather calm, almost as if what did was somewhat familiar," he said

"Huh!,"

"What?" he asked

"I also feel like that as well, strange isn't," I said, looking back out through the opening in the carriage.

"If you and I both feel the same I don't think it's just a coincidence," he said, I looked back towards him trying to formulate my own words but it fails me.

He was as usual right, ever since that dream, things have felt strange. Everything around that used to feel normal suddenly feel foreign like it shouldn't be but it is. It is real, the air, the grass, the mountains, the people around me. They are all real and yet somehow…not.

" I don't know how to answer that Delita, I just don't, maybe father or my brothers would have a better understanding of what we feel, it could be that we are numb to what transpired yesterday and it hasn't fully hit us yet," I said leaning once again to the backrest.

"I hope your right my friend," he said, and like that silence rained over us both.

Time Lapse

It wouldn't be till late the next day that we would arrive in Egarose, thus not much for us to inspect, and detail whatever change may have occurred upon our leave. There were still a few men and women out and about, and the tavern was surely still open, though we made way straight to the castle, where the watcher tower filled to three archers each carefully took stock of us, before signalling the gate to be opened.

Parking inside, Delita was the first to exit, stretching his legs for good measure. The carriage with my troops also of loaded my men, but they were quickly ushered to where they were to stay, which means they were being taken to the officer's barracks next door. At least unlike the other offices Egarose kept up with maintenance, Gariland's was also quite spiffy but it could do with remodelling and oh heavens I was sounding like Dycedarg, stop it, stop it now Ramza.

"You ready Ramza, most everyone probably asleep by now, though your Fathers most definitely up," he said making his way to the doors.

"Yes, we have much to speak about,"

"That we do my noble friend,"

We quickly made way through the halls, this time taking the scenic route to my father's study, instead of through the secret passageways. As we made our way, we were greeted by the kind staff who welcomed us back from our journey. They were lovely people, and I always did my best to treat them as kindly as possible, doing things that they otherwise would do for a young master.

"You know, after three months away I almost forgot how large this castle truly is," mentioned Delita breaking me from my thoughts.

"Yes that was the longest I think I've personally been away from here,"

"Well we are back for the meantime, it best we enjoy it while it lasts," he said growing a smirk that never meant well for me, something was going to happen to me now.

It didn't take us to long to arrive in front of father study and with a few knocks to the door, his voice boomed through the solid oak door, beckoning us to come in

As I opened the door, there he was at his desk looking over a map of sorts, stepping forward, his head immediately flew upwards.

"Ah you boys have returned, I would assume it was pleasant," father said raising a silver brow towards his hairline.

"It was quite the experience indeed sir," replied Delita.

"Yes, the training itself was a bit boring as we knew much if not all that was being taught though, we did meet a few nice people," I said.

"Good, making connections will get you far in life son, never forget that," he said rising from his chair, moving to the right of his desk before finding his way to one of the couches by the fireplace that was in use. I guess it was quite chilly tonight.

"Come boys have a seat, your brothers aren't here Ramza, they've had matters to deal with towards west of Limberry, so your left with your old man the next few days till they return," he said smiling

"What of Alma,"

"Oh she is around, probably tired of my presence at this point, actually she yelled at me today for being and I quote 'a smothering old fart'" he said chuckling softly to himself.

It's in those moments you forget the man in front me is one of the most well respected and dangerous men in all of Ivalice, so when his daughter shouts at him, you would think there'd be repercussions, which there rarely was.

"Pray to tell father why did she call you that,?" I asked interested in what he had to say and looking over to Delita he too seemed curious.

"Oh, well the Langdon family came for tea early in the day, and one of their nephews are roughly around you boys' age, so I was asked if he could be introduced to Alma,"

Oh…no

"So I thought what could be the harm, so I summoned for her and well she and Tietra were there greeting the Langdon's, so Introduced the kids, and they went off frolicking in the gardens," he said scratching his beard, "Langdon Senior and I got to talking about the old day and the mischief we as young lads got into, and then I remembered my daughter was 15 going on 16 and I may have panicked a bit,"

He stopped and grasped a bottle of wine before pouring it into a glass as he began to sip, "So I excused myself for a moment and went to spy on the young ones,"

Poor Alma, daddy's little girl,

"I founded young Langdon touching upon her sleeve,…her sleeve Ramza, and then had the gall to bat eyes at Tietra too," at the Delita bristled a bit, protective brother mode engaged, "He was flirting wildly with the both of them, and they were eating it up, so I did what any self-respecting lord of a castle and army would do. I sent out a judgement blade in the courtyard,"

My sides were hurting, the image of my father stalking around the yard watching as his daughter and her best friend be courted by a young man was too hilarious. I could picture father peeking through the shrubby as Mr Vana began to prune them. Mr Vana being spooked by father antics and father just watching intently as his darling daughter loses some innocence. Lord knows I lost mine yesterday.

"You did what sir,?" asked Delita his eyes widen a bit, less in shock and more of a hopeful gleam.

"Aye, let out a judgement blade," he said laughing slightly, "Should have seen the look on the poor lads face, scared shiteless, though Alma didn't find it in good humour, the boy wet himself and she glared daggers at me,"

"Wait for father, what of his parents?"

"Ah, they came running to see what happened, told them I thought one of those caurs somehow wandered in, I actually ended up accidentally killing a squirrel," he said finishing the rest of his wine, "Told them the old eyes be not what it used too, they left in a hurry embraced by their sons display, highly doubt the boy would come back looking for a second meeting with the girls,"

"So, when did Lady Alma throw her shoe at you?" asked Delita

"Oh right about the time they left, she then stomped off with Tietra, haven't seen them for the rest of the day, she'll get over it eventually, but enough of this tell me of your exploits,"

Delita and I looked at each other before looking back to him.

"Well, I… no we were in our first battle a few days ago," I said rubbing my left arms, "We had to take life, though I'm sure you knew of this,"

"Battle, no I'm afraid this is the first I'm learning of this, was it a group of bandits?" he asked confused. So wait he wasn't the one that orders my troops to stay back and deal with the murderers.

"Father, a few days ago a Knight from Egarose, came to the barracks and insisted that higher-ups wanted my troops to deal with a group who were assassination retired Knights," I replied, the tension in the room increasing by the second. My father, who's jovial expression was shining brightly moments ago, immediately faded.

"Who was this knight," he said his voice low and commanding.

"We know not my Lord, he didn't seem all that familiar, however with the many Knights within the army it didn't seem out of the ordinary." Said Delita, at his words father rose from his chair and began to move towards the fireplace.

"Tell, me boys, the men you quelled, where they just bandits or more?" he asked

I looked across to Delita, looking at me he just nodded his head.

"They were of the Death Brigade," I replied, "However upon dealing with them Wiegraf appeared, he said he had been investigating the killings himself, and learned that men of his own, were responsible,"

"Do you believe those words Ramza?" my father muttered still not looking towards us.

"Father, when he arrived he seemed pained, and not in the know of why they were doing as such, but he was truthful father, his eyes held no lie," I said.

"I see,"

"He also told us, My Lord, that those who were truly loyal to him believed in you, so whatever is taking place, maybe some sort of discord among the Death Brigade itself," said Delita, I could see sweat pooling at his brow.

"It, was always an inevitability you boys would have to take a life, though I prayed after the 50 year war, such would have been when you absolutely needed to defend yourselves, and for that I am sorry," father said turning his head towards us, pain echoing his eyes, "Someone, within my faction must be involved in this supposed decent in Mr Folles order, thus I have to conclusions," he said fully turning towards, before march to his desk, "The first conclusion is that, they whoever it may be, wanted you there for a reason, probably to implicate the Death Brigade and have you relay it to me so that we can wage war against them, or secondly, they were hoping you would slay them, for reasons that escape me,"

"If the former was true my lord then it would mean, that the person was not privy to Ramza and me being part of the peace talks,"

"Probably, though I suspect the latter more likely, it is no secret that Ramza, unlike his brothers who started their schooling at an early age, that he excels in combat to a ridiculous degree, the boy is just to humble to admit his gifts, and that not a slight on your part Delita, you have kept up with Ramza since you were children, currently you both may be better than quite a number of veteran knights at my disposal, thus they knew you would succeed, but why,"

"Then father, that is to say, we have a traitor in our ranks," I said hoping it wasn't true, this could upset the balance of many things.

"Indeed, and as much as I seek not to throw judgement, the Death Brigade are pawns in the scheme, I suspect someone wants my force to extinguish the Death Brigade, to spark an ever greater conflict,"

"You mean the southern sky my lord?" asked Delita

"I know not if they are behind it, nor can I say otherwise, till then boys keep this between us, when next I find contact with Wiegraf this matter will be dealt with post-haste, for now, act accordingly," my father said reaching into a draw at the upper left-hand side of it, pulling out a parchment.

"Delita, I need you to make Haste to the Barracks, and hand this letter to Major Ritter," he said walking towards Delita and handing him the parchment.

"Yes Sir," replied Delita getting up, giving my father a bow and leaving the room hastily.

"Ramza," he said, I looked at him, his golden eyes showing his age, he was 56 years old, a man who fought in the war longer than I had been alive, a man so revered on the battlefield, not many would dear challenge his authority. "You do me proud my son, fighting your first battle, and coming victorious," he breathed out. "Though I know all too well the price of taking life costs,"

"It alright father, I am after all your son," I said hoping to lighten the mood, but I did little to elevate my father's joy

"No Ramza, fighting a battle you had no right too, making you take a life when you never had too, was not something I wanted for you…for any of you, but war just seems to take and take, as much as I enjoy battle myself, I never cared for carving men into nothingness," he said locking his eyes with mine. "Remember this Ramza, many will praise you for your deeds, as many by tomorrow eve will have known of your triumph, however least you forget, that when a man heart becomes truly numb to slaying man, then he becomes lost forever,"

I looked at him as he finished those words, and the thoughts of how I felt during that near-death experience, I did feel numb, yet not to take their lives, I truly wished I never had too, but the feeling of combat, of doing it, I felt nothing.

"I see you know of what I mean," he sighed, "The look in your eyes suggest as much, a curse, we of the Beoulve carry, men built for war, and battle,"

"How do we stop that numbing father, how did you,"

"Simple my son, I had you," he said smiling sadly "I had you, your sister and your brothers, I had my children to think of, thus whenever the numbness of battle took over, your smiling faces brought me back from the brink of madness on more than one occasion during the war,"

I just sneered at him, before getting up to hug him, the last time I did I think I was but a child, and everything that happened in the last few days finally bubbled and I cried upon him, but father bless his soul, just returned the hug.

Seven Days Later, Ramza's Birthday

The day started like any other within the halls of the Egarose castle, with me waking to the scent of fresh air and, a Chocobo peaking at my face…wait for what. Where was I. Rubbing my eyes to ensure I wasn't going crazy, my now blurry vision could make out that I wasn't actually in the Castle, but by the stables, how did this happen.

WARK!, The Chocobo screeched before pecking the back of my neck

"Ow, why did you do that," I said rubbing the spot, while the bloody bird just looked at me curiously. Though again looking at my surroundings, I was probably in its nest area.

"WARK,"

"Yes, yes I'm leaving hold your feathers", I said lifting myself of the floor, at least the doors were open from what I could see, but I was practically halfway across the entirety of the manner, which means it takes roughly an hour to arrive in the castle, sighing I made my way curse the arsehole who thought it funny to bring me here…It was probably Delita… or father.

Though I grumbled at my misfortune it was rather lovely to look upon the lands I would one day be partial to owning, granted my elder brother would have full control of everything I would still be able to grace these lands when I have a moment's rest. These last seven days have been eventful, to say the least, father has had me training in the many varying arts. I was no longer a cadet but not yet knighted for that I would probably have to wait a while and improve upon my arsenal of skills. Thus I've been training with a varying gambit of skills. From archery which I had practically mastered as a child, though was a bit rusty, training in the Knights skills, though that came in the hush, hush early hours as it was technically against the law for someone to learn the skills of a Knight while not being knighted. Learning the ways of thievery, which I must admit was quite a shock when father told me I need to learn some of their skills. His reasoning, was, if I were to get in a tight spot that required me to either disarm my opponent of their weapons or escape from a locked room, who better than a thief to know-how. His reason was sound I guess.

I would be staying at the castle for a few months before I would be shipped out to forefront, tentative as our truce with the southern sky may be; war is always an option when speaking of Duke Larg and Duke Goltana; ah that right I've also made great strides in the chemist field thanks to Maria and Jaspers assistance. Strawberry decided that magic was her field and has been hard at work learning all she can about white magic and black magic, Ironside as taking to the teaching of Monkhood hoping to be a Geomancer. Hannibal has I guess been a great thief and archer, while Opal to has been studying magic, actually so are the siblings. I guess Delita and I are the only ones broadening our horizons in all fields. As we to must learn magic as well, Delita has a Knack for white magic, I do as well but I seem to be far great in black magic. Fathers say it not all being a master in one art, for being a master of one thing grants you advantage over that one aspect of the battlefield. However being skilled in many varying fields, allows you advantages all over the place.

Ah, seven days of being home, and honestly the training has been the most gruelling thing I had ever experienced. I thought as a child I had it rough, it's worse now. I have learned everything simultaneously who does that, what man or woman has to do that…well, I guess anyone under or apart of the Beoulve line.

"Huh, has it been an hour already," I muttered, "I've already arrived at the doors to the castle,"

"Oh Lord Ramza, why are you up so early?" asked the gardener, I didn't even notice he was there.

"Oh, well um, sleep had eluded my grasp last night thus I decided to take a stroll to clear my thoughts," I said, as he simply nodded in understanding, "By chance did you see Delita or my father coming this way earlier," he shook his head

"No sir, though Madam Wicker said she saw you walking towards the stables this morning when she came back from feeding the Chocobo, she even tried to say hello but you walked right passed her, which she found strange as you always say hello," he said looking at me with a bit of worry, "Which begs the question are you alright sir, I know its not my place but I've noticed you been under a lot of pressure since you've been back with all that training and whatnot,"

Huh, I walked to the Stables, but, I don't remember that at all, looking to the gardener who was curious about my condition, which I found myself being grateful for, I simply nodded.

"I am fine, as I said I just need to clear my head, I guess I was too caught up this morning to notice Madame Wicker, I'll be sure to apologise when next I see her, thank you for letting me know," I said, seeming to take my answer as true he simply nodded and when back to pruning the vines along the wall of the castle.

Entering the castle, my mind began to run wild. What is happening, first that dream a week ago, the fight and my break down with father, and now sleepwalking, maybe I should pay the clerics a visit.

"Oh well, after yesterday's intense training I thought you'd still be asleep little brother," said Zalbagg walking down the stairs, not dressed in his usual armour but sporting an aristocratic attire fit for a nobleman. He was slightly smirking to himself.

"Now Ramza, I know that fashion seems to escape me at times, but I'm doubtful that Chocobo feathers, hay and seeds are the new trends around Ivalice," he said now smiling jubilantly at his jest. Feeling up my hair and body, I felt the remnants of my sleep trip to the stables all over. Huh, why didn't the garden say anything, was he too embraced to say that or did he not want to be rude in asking of my attire.

"Sorry brother, it would seem that I slept walked to the stables this morning, at first I thought this a prank by Delita or Father but the gardener told me Madame Wicker saw me early this morning walking towards it," I said, looking to him for I guess help

"Ah, I wouldn't put too much worry into that Ramza, it happens, especially during stressful moments in a man's life, father said he was putting you through the wringer, it makes sense your body would respond differently," he said patting my shoulder.

"Now get yourself cleaned up, today is a special day for you, I don't want you to miss the surprise," he said laughing as he made his way to the kitchens.

Special day, surprise, what was he talking about, shaking my head I made my way to the baths. I believe he was right, my body and mind have been taxed of late so I would be wise to assume it wouldn't operate normally for a while.

It didn't take too long to arrive at the baths, stripping off my dirty wares, I stepped into the hot waters to soak the aches and pain of my training way, leaning back I began to relax. A few minutes passed, then an hour, then two hours, falling asleep in the waters, which in hindsight was foolish, but as I got comfortable, my eyes immediately flared with life, my brother words echoing within my skull, special day, surprise, oh no today was the day of my birth which only means one thing…PARTY