Evermore

Chapter 11: The Complex World of Sexuality

Now that his birthday was past, Jack found something new to concern himself with: his mother's phone call. Training and lessons and wearing himself to the bone every day was overshadowed by the foreboding conversation. His time at the citadel now felt like a giant clock hung around his neck, a heavy, awful thing that reminded him his time there was limited.

The situation seemed entirely inevitable and unavoidable. And Jack wanted desperately to talk to Chase about it. They'd be eating a lunch of noodles or pouring over books in the library. Jack would open his mouth, preparing to spill his guts, the conversation clawing its way up his throat… And nothing would come out. He choked every time. What was he afraid of? That Chase might laugh at him? Scoff at his worry, his terror? Likely. It was so embarrassing.

After trying and failing to talk about it several times, Jack set his jaw and decided to ignore the entire conundrum. His parent's phone calls quickly filled up his inbox.

Then he forgot to silence his phone one day. The blood rushed to Jack's face as his phone, face-down on the very table Chase crafted himself, during the lecture the warlord was giving on creatures bred from Heylin magic. Chase's eyes flashed dangerously and he got to the phone before Jack could. And to Jack's utter horror, he answered it.

"This is Chase Young speaking. May I ask who's calling my apprentice at this time?"

"I'm Jack's mother," Jack could hear his mother's shrill voice and he buried his burning face in his hands with a groan. "And he and I have some business to discuss that he's been purposefully avoiding for some time now!"

"Since he is currently in the middle of a lesson," Chase said smoothly, staring Jack down from across the table, "would you settle on a message delivered as well as a return call?"

"Yes, yes actually, maybe you could talk some sense into him," she huffed. "Tell him that his betrothal will go on as planned and he can't avoid the courtship forever."

"Understood, consider your message delivered."

He hung up, placing the phone down again with a soft sound but it sounded cacophonous in the library.

"Your mother said—"

"Yeah, I heard."

"Do not," Chase warned him, "interrupt me."

Jack couldn't look at him. He wouldn't. Instead he leaned on his palm and stared off into space, choosing instead to focus on the intricate carvings on the table's edge. They depicted many victories and battles over the years of Chase's conquests and he wondered if Chase had carved it all himself. His artistic abilities might only be due to magic…

"Is this the thing you've been concerned with over the past week?"

He felt himself nod. He didn't know why he was gracing Chase with an answer at all. It was his business and his alone. His eyes prickled.

"I know you would rather not discuss it," Chase said, quieter than Jack expected, hearing the book he was teaching from close. He glanced up to see him place the book on top of a nearby stack. "But if it's distressing you this severely, we will have to."

"It's stupid," Jack admitted, surprising even himself. "And embarrassing. I don't even know how to word why it bothers me. When I figure it out…"

He let his sentence trail off, the promise hanging between them. He finally looked up at Chase. The man was frowning, sizing him up with serious golden eyes. Then he nodded.

"We can finish this lesson on a later date. For now, I want you to return to your room. Rest until dinner. You're dismissed."

Jack nodded, standing. He kind of wanted to protest (he would've loved to spend time in his lab) but didn't dare; he just felt relieved Chase didn't force him to talk about the betrothal. He all but ran from the room. Chase sighed, pushing his hair back out of his face.

Normally he'd have somehow pried Jack's worries out of his mouth. His apprentice had been distracted ever since his birthday and he'd waited patiently, waiting to see if Jack would bring it up himself. After all, hadn't Chase stressed the importance of trust between them? Why wouldn't he trust Chase at this point in his apprenticeship?

Now Chase could somewhat understand; if the boy hadn't yet found the words for why the situation upset him, it'd be quite difficult for him to vocalize it to him. But why not tell him about the proposal in the first place? He knew all about the painful placement of expectations on Jack's shoulders by his parents, how he wished they were proud of him. Wasn't this just another unfair expectation? Since the boy was so clearly gay?

At least, that was the conclusion Chase had drawn. Perhaps the boy was bisexual? Chase frowned, pushing in his clean-up of the table. Now that he had a moment to think on it, he was sure he'd seen Jack flirt with the Dragon of Fire.

Why did he care? Jack's sexuality, as he'd told the teenager, was none of his concern. He shook his head, leaving the library, making no plans to have Jack call his mother back. The thought of denying the obnoxiously loud woman that made his lips curl in satisfaction.

Back in his room, Jack splashed cold water on his face, relishing the way it dripped down his neck and onto his shirt. So Chase knew. Great. That meant he didn't have to tell him himself. At the same time, he knew he'd only prolonged the inevitable; he'd have to talk about it eventually, about why it made his stomach squirm.

Jack set about distracting himself in the best way possible: by flopping down on his stomach in bed and booting up his new Notch gaming system, courtesy of Kimiko for his birthday. Admittedly he hadn't expected gifts from anyone but just about everyone came through. The handheld system marketed by Tohomiko Electronics came with a few games already on it. The other monks must've provided the rad stickers and various snacks that'd been stuffed into the bag with the Notch.

Wuya, on the other hand, had gone a completely different direction, gifting him with an intricate dagger.

"No magic, I swear," she promised Chase as he vocally disapproved. Apparently the knife was a Heylin heirloom, once used in dark rituals. "It's so he has a small weapon he can hide on his person and use in case of emergencies."

It sat on his dresser on a black stand, sharp and dangerous. He tried not to think about the irony of gifting a teenager with a history of self-harm a dagger but, well… Wuya didn't know that. He slept with his back to it, a little scared he'd wake up sad and see it before he had a chance to stomp down his own destructive urges.

Tubbimura's gift was given over dinner at the ramen shop a couple days after his birthday, a graphic novel he'd been envying for a while. The art was beautiful, the storyline a welcome distraction from the reality of his betrothal.

His betrothal.

Jack let his head flop down on his pillow, the frustrated scream muffled. His game beeped in a downward spiral. Game over.

-oOo-

Jack woke slowly, a slight tickle in the back of his throat. He coughed lightly, pushing himself up with a groan. There was a pulse of pain behind his eyes and he rubbed them, trying to will it away. Did he not get enough sleep or something? No… He fell asleep around the same time he typically did.

Reaching over to the nightstand, he opened the drawer to receive several tablets of ibuprofen, tossing them back and washing them down with his water bottle. It was glass with a silicone sleeve, full to the brim with warm water edging on hot. He knew it was magic; he could feel the soft tingle of it whenever he touched the bottle. Ever since he'd been gifted it, he found that placing it on a specific spot on his night stand (a small red spiral carved into the wood) refilled it with hot water every time. Always hot water, never cold.

"Cold water imbalances the chi in your body," Chase briefly explained when Jack asked. "Now focus."

Focus. All in all, Jack had become much better about focus. But for some reason the past week was a blur of training exercises and lessons and he couldn't remember a single, damn one.

By the time Jack made it to breakfast, he felt… Semi-normal. The tickle was still there but it wasn't as noticeable and his headache had dulled to a soft throb. At his place at the table was the typical blue and white porcelain bowl, filled with noodles and strips of beef, bok choy, and green onions, all swimming in a dark broth.

He snuck a look at Chase who was pouring himself a cup of hot tea. Beef noodles were one of Jack's absolute favorites, right after barbecue pork baozi. Was he trying to put him in a good mood? Because if Chase was trying to get him to talk about the betrothal, it just wasn't going to happen.

"It's Tuesday."

Jack blinked, pulled out of his suspicions when Chase spoke.

"Huh? What?"

"Eloquent as ever, I see," Chase said wryly, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "We have beef noodles every Tuesday morning. I'm not attempting to bribe you."

"Oh."

"'Oh', indeed."

Jack flushed deeply, taking a seat. He picked up his chopsticks.

"Sorry," he muttered, stirring his noodles around the bowl. Chase set down his tea with a sigh.

"If I wanted you to talk about it, I would simply ask. Bribery isn't my style. If you weren't my apprentice, I would likely manipulate the information out of you. But as it stands… I believe that when you're ready, you will come to me."

Jack looked up at Chase in surprise. Something stirred in his gut, warm, grounding him. Chase trusted him. He… Didn't know what to do with that information.

"You are still a growing teenager. You are, and will always be, entitled to your own privacy. I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I do not enter your room unless absolutely necessary."

Jack opened his mouth then shut it with a snap. Because he was right. Not once had Chase barged in, gone through his stuff, straightened things up when he was gone… Things that his parents had done his whole life. He felt his cheeks burn in shame. Had he expected Chase to treat him the way his parents did?

Chase picked up his chopsticks.

"That being said, when you're ready to discuss the betrothal with me and why it vexes you so, I will listen. I might even tell you about a similar time in my life."

Jack opened his mouth to ask and found a finger against it. He looked up to meet Chase's eyes, which shimmered in amusement.

"Only when you confide in me."

"B-but you just said—!"

"Bribery may not be my style," Chase chuckled darkly. "But it seems to be just what will work for you."

And then Chase went back to his breakfast, Jack flushed and furious.

He was still pouting about it when he went to the library to meet Eris for his lesson on magic.

"Good morning, Jack," she greeted warmly, dressed in deep blue that day. He slumped into a chair, groaning out a 'morning' before resting his forehead on the table. She raised an eyebrow, arms on her hips.

"Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine this morning."

"Sorry… Chase is an absolute ass."

She burst into laughter.

"Are you just now learning this or…?"

Jack snorted, lifting his head back off the table and running his hands through his hair.

"I mean, I guess I kind of knew that already. Just… More so than usual. He's trying to get me to talk about something and I just… Don't know how. It's so embarrassing."

"Ahhh, I see," Eris hummed, pulling out the chair beside him to take a seat. "Anything you could discuss with me?"

"Sorry, but no."

"That's understandable. I mean, if you won't discuss it with Chase, why would you discuss it with me?"

Jack frowned. She was examining her cuticles delicately.

"What do you mean?"

"Come now, Jack. You and Chase are close. If you couldn't tell him, I very highly doubt you'd tell anyone else."

Jack's heart thudded against his rub cage uncomfortably. Close? He and Chase? When had that happened? He'd been living at the citadel for several months now, he guessed it made sense… He ate a majority of his meals with him, they ran the mile and trained in Kung Fu almost every morning and practiced Tai Chi almost every evening. There were days they spent apart. On Thursday, they were in Jiāyuán and occasionally crossed paths. On Fridays, Jack barely saw him; it was his day off after all.

But really, who else did Jack spend time with as often as Chase?

Eris nodded at the wide-eyed look Jack gave her.

"Congratulations. You live on an island no one else has," she dead-panned, opening the book in front of her. "At least in my experience. Now let's dive right in… Enchanted places. Has Chase talked to you about this at all?"

"Uh… I mean, not really I guess," Jack admitted, scratching his head. "I feel like I've been to a lot of enchanted places, though."

"Oh, yeah? Like where?"

"Well, a lot of the places where I went to retrieve Wu were probably enchanted. You know, otherwise anyone would stumble upon them."

"Unfortunately, that's wrong, Jack," Eris explained gently. "Common people very often stumble upon Shen Gong Wu. The trick is knowing the name of that particular Wu, otherwise it remains inactivated and a seemingly ordinary object. Try again."

Jack frowned, rubbing his forehead. It was working its way back up to a throb again.

"Let's see… Oh! This place! The citadel!"

"Correct," Eris praised him with a smile. "The citadel has a lot of enchantments on it. Care to elaborate on what kind?"

"Um, maybe… Cloaking? No, I could still see the citadel even when I wasn't welcome…"

"Actually, you're right. The citadel recognizes those with magical potential and allows them to see it. But whether they see it for what it really is is the real question."

At this, Eris pulled over another book. On the cover were curled letters reading, quite plainly, "Citadel History". She flipped to a page of drawings and turned it around so Jack could see. He leaned forward.

"Have you seen the citadel's facade since becoming Chase's apprentice?"

"I mean… Once? But that was before I was actually his apprentice so… No. No, I haven't. I've used side doors and back doors, which are just a bit more practical."

"Here's his citadel as seen by anyone who has magical potential," Eris said, tapping her finger on the middle picture. Sure enough, Jack found himself looking at the menacing face carved from the mountain itself, the mouth wide open, eyes glowing. The facade he knew very well. "On the right here is what the mountain looks like to everyday people."

It was just a mountain. An intimidating and jagged mountain, but a mountain nonetheless. His eyes jumped over to the picture on the far left and his brow furrowed.

"What about this one?"

"If you were to go to the front of the citadel, this is likely what you'd see?"

It was a large mansion built into the mountain. Towers came off of it, windows sparkling in the stone, double doors with spiraling ironwork a much more welcome sight compared to the gaping maw Jack was used to seeing.

"That's… Wow."

"Chase worked the magic on the mountain himself. Now most magic-users can enchant items, experienced ones can maybe enchant rooms or a small house if they channel their magic properly and have no distractions. However, enchanting an entire mountain? That was unheard of when Chase did it. He garnered immediate respect and fear among magic-users everywhere. It took him to the very limits of his power."

"That's amazing," Jack gasped, making a mental note to go check out the front of facade of the citadel as soon as possible. "But… Wait."

He held up a hand, remembering quite sharply a conversation they'd had on the very first day he'd met Eris…

"Are you responsible for the…?"

"For the enchantments that make the Land of Nowhere appear unpleasant and uninviting?… Yes."

Jack stared at Eris who only shrugged, smiling.

"Chase came to me for help with cloaking the Land of Nowhere. He knew he was incapable of it and made the wise decisions of making his ally as opposed to his enemy. When I saw the way he ran his land… I chose to stay. He sees that I live comfortably in return for the privacy and safety of his people."

Jack knew he'd been right in deciding on day one to never cross Eris.

-oOo-

Jack faced the full-length mirror as he tied his yi shut. He knew these steps by heart now, folding the gorgeous deep green linen left over right. It wasn't as formal as the first hanfu he'd worn to The Land of Nowhere; the yi was shorter, falling just below his hips, and he lacked the bixi and chang completely. The latter was replaced by a pair of linen trousers with drawstrings that needed to be tied tightly, lest they fall off him.

Chase provided several pairs of these more casual hanfu for Jack to wear, stating quite simply that the flowing silk and cotton robes were a bit too formal for the work he'd be doing. He still insisted, however, that Jack go barefoot.

"As you walk, your body will learn to feel the flow of magic through the ground and recognize it," he elaborated when asked. "One day you will be able to do it wearing shoes as well but for now, you are only just beginning to understand the nature of magic. Therefore, you will go barefoot."

That was fine by Jack. It was rather freeing if he was honest with himself.

Chase dressed similarly. When Jack asked why, he was told it was important that the No Ones saw their ruler as approachable. Jack secretly thought this a lost cause; even barefoot without armor, Chase Young was wildly intimidating.

Something else Jack kept to himself was a personal theory of his own curation. It concerned the colors of his casual hanfu. Because he certainly didn't pick them. If he'd picked his own hanfu, they'd be solid black. He had two yis to wear with his cream linen pants. The first was the one he was wearing, deep green with golden trim. The other (his favorite) was black with crimson trim.

The next time he saw Chase's armor, it clicked. Jack was wearing Chase's colors. That thought alone spun his thoughts into the outer orbits of his barely suppressed teenage sexuality. But his obvious attraction aside, he felt more powerful knowing he was wearing his colors, knowing his affiliation gave him an edge.

It didn't take Jack long enough to realize that it not only gave him an edge, it gave him status. On the streets of Jiāyuán, the No Ones skittered around him, heads down, addressing him as "your highness", which baffled him to no end. They refused to Chase as "his majesty" and "my lord".

At least that made sense.

After finishing his duties out in the fields surrounding renegade housing, Jack struck out on his own. He'd earned this alone time after presenting this argument to Chase: he was 16, he knew the basics of defensive magic, and he'd been in Showdowns over Wu ("some of which I won— I won, Chase!") since he was 13. He could handle this, especially with double the guards in Jiāyuán since the assassination attempt. This fact is what made Chase finally concede with a sigh. But only on the agreement that Jack wear the pendant.

It hung down to the center of his chest. At first glance, it looked like your typical Yin Yang but it was more. The black Yang was a dragon curled around a white pearl, the white Yin a phoenix curled around a black pearl. Jack wasn't entirely sure how it worked but Chase assured him that if there was any trouble, he'd be the first to know.

Jack didn't really care how it worked as long as it gave him the freedom to explore a little bit. So he didn't ask.

He fished the little packet of tissues out of his pocket, blowing his nose before coughing into the crook of his elbow. The tickle in his throat had only worsened and it seemed like no matter how much hot water he consumed, he couldn't seem to soothe it. He knew he should probably tell Chase he didn't feel well… But he liked being out in Jiāyuán. He didn't want to stay home. And furthermore, in his experience, telling Chase wouldn't change a damn thing.

"You're not running a fever. Now get up, you're going to be late."

Jack shook his head and immediately regretted the action, wincing as the balloon of light-headedness expanded. He refocused on the ground, enjoying his latest solo game of his own invention: energy-chasing. As his studies progressed, Jack learned to recognize magic signatures; everyone who practiced magic in some way, shape, or form left a trail of energy on the ground. You couldn't see the trails, you had to feel them.

So whenever he finished his duties in Jiāyuán, Jack played his game. Usually, he picked an energy trail and followed it until he met the person who'd left it behind. Then a conversation ensued and Jack always ended up learning something. When he told Chase about his game, he was encouraged to continue it.

Jack stood in the town square in all it's hustle and bustle. The fountain trickled, coins clicked, voices chattered and laughed… The trails of energy slithered and pulsed under his feet. Even though he was told he couldn't see the trails, it was almost like he could. Streaks of green and blue, pink and orange, all manners of colors streamed beneath him, some colors stronger, others barely pastel, pulsing in different beats.

He recognized a couple of them. Chase's energy trail was pitch black, thrumming strongly, at least twice as thick as any other strands. Eris' energy trail was even more impressive, deep purple, woven, a constant hum… Jack frowned.

It was… Stuttering? Like a heart skipping beats. He'd never seen that before, what did it mean? He followed the trail, one foot in front of the other, weaving in and out of people. He sped up, following the pulse down an ally, down a side street, around a corner… Until he reached a cottage-like home on the edge of town.

He stopped breathing when the trail froze. No pulse, no beat, just… Color.

"Eris?" He whispered, his voice wobbling a bit.

Then the trail exploded. In a blaze, it hummed deafeningly, the color brightening to almost white… Then it settled. Deep purple. Pulsing normally.

Jack didn't knock. And then he wished he had.

Because when he entered that cottage, he found Eris, yes. But he also found Zhangwei and Rosemary. All in a very precarious position that left no room for imagination on what they were doing.

"Holy shi—!" Jack covered his face, which was surely about to catch fire, spinning around to face the doorway again.

"Charming, Jack," Eris sighed. "Now, please shut the door."

-oOo-

"So that's what that means," Jack squeaked, clutching the cup of hot tea to his chest in defense.

It'd taken a few minutes, but once Zhangwei, Eris, and Rosemary were dressed and a very strong cup of tea was made, they'd all calmed down enough to explain exactly what had happened. Rosemary puttered about in the kitchen, doing random things, unable to look Jack in the face, she was so utterly mortified. Zhangwei, rebraiding Eris' hair for her, snorted.

"Maybe perhaps you will think the next time you run off after wild magic trails," he said sensibly. "What if you had not found us? What if Eris had been incapacitated?"

"You'd have been killed, Jack," Eris backed him up, arms crossed. Jack swallowed painfully, taking another sip of tea. He was still wildly embarrassed but now he was worried too.

"Are you gonna tell Chase?"

The tension left his shoulders when Eris shook her head.

"No, I think you've been traumatized enough for one day. Rosie, could you make me a cup too?"

"Sure, love," Rosemary called back, something clattering in the kitchen sink. "Oolong?"

"Yes, please," she responded. Then she looked over Jack. "You've never seen a polyamorous relationship before, have you?"

Jack shook his head, frowning.

"I guess… It's not just a… Uh…"

"A sex thing," Zhangwei finished bluntly for him, making Jack's face turn red again. "And no, it is not. Eris, Rosemary, and I are in a romantic relationship as well as a sexual one. Polyamory also means that we are all open and honest with one another. For example, if Eris wanted to date anyone else, she could. As long as we and the other party know about each other and are accepting of it."

"Think of a big 'ole spider web," Rosemary elaborated, bringing a steaming cup to Eris. She thanked her quietly. "We're all interconnected. For us, it's just us three. If we meet someone else we wanna date, that's okay!"

Jack nodded, head pounding. It was… A little confusing. But also so simple. It made sense. They all liked each other so they all decided to date each other.

And as he watched the three of them interact, Zhangwei bringing Rosemary her shoes, Eris tucking Zhangwei's hair behind his ear… He decided that if they were all happy, then it was none of his business.