It was a pleasant day, all things considered. The weather was warm, but not unbearable. The mission had been boring, but paid well. The streets were busy, yet not entirely crowded. And Vergil had felt rather pleased when Nero decided to join him for an evening stroll. They remained silent at first, walking aimlessly through the city side by side until Nero began to make small talk that Vergil soon entertained.

He'd been learning more and more about what his son liked. What he disliked. The stories that made him laugh. The process had been awkward and slow, but the bond between them was slowly growing stronger.

And that was far more relieving than Vergil was willing to admit.

He'd ditched the coat that evening, a rare occurrence that Nero had clearly found amusing. Vergil was aware that some people were staring at them, but it had always been relatively simple to ignore them. He had no time to deal with their prying gazes, no matter how penetrating they might seem.

Nero, on the other hand, was frowning, rubbing his nose every so often when someone's eyes seemed to linger on his exposed arms. He'd also left his coat back at the shop, opting to go out wearing a t-shirt that might've been a size too small for his body. Vergil had noticed Nero seemed uncomfortable when too much attention was placed on him, so he tried his best to distract him with a rather embarrassing story about Dante and how he almost managed to burn the kitchen down the night before.

A whistle interrupted his tale, too piercing and loud to be ignored.

"Damn! Now that's what I call a DILF!"

"What the fuck did you just say?" Nero stopped dead in his tracks, pure rage coming out of every word as he spun around to walk towards the grinning man who was casually leaning against a wall.

The man paled when he saw him approach and quickly put his hands up in clear surrender. "Come on, man, chill out. I was joking."

"I better not hear another word coming out of your mouth, you fucking asshole!"

"Nero." Vergil tried, placing a hand on his son's shoulder. The man reeked of cheap alcohol, and he refused to let Nero pick a fight with someone who wasn't worth his time. Nero glared at him one last time before he allowed Vergil to lead him back to the sidewalk.

What started off as a peaceful stroll had quickly taken a turn for the worse, and Vergil couldn't understand why. Nero was still seething with anger, posture stiff, jaw tight.

"Did he insult you?"

"No, he wasn't talking about me."

Was he talking about him, then? Is that why Nero was so distressed? Vergil had never heard that word before, so he ventured to ask: "What does DILF mean?"

"Don't, okay? Just don't. I don't wanna talk about it."

"I suppose it's an insult."

"Please don't make me talk about it."

"Fine. I shall respect your wishes."

The rest of their walk was filled with awkward silence.


There was only one person Vergil trusted when it came to strange terms, and that person was Nico. She had… a way with words, and she always seemed eager to share her knowledge with him. Vergil believed this would be no different.

Her picture was still set as his phone's background image- no one wanted to help him change it, for one reason or another-, and he pressed the screen a couple of times until her name popped up. She answered on the fourth ring.

"'Sup, V-man? Missing me already?"

"Quite the opposite, actually." Vergil replied and, after a pause, spoke again. "Has Nero spoken to you about our incident?"

"What? No," The mechanic said, her cheerful tone turning concerned. "What happened?"

"I believe someone insulted me in his presence," Vergil started. "I was called a DILF, but I am not familiar with that word. Nero seemed rather upset about it but refused to elaborate."

There was a deafening silence on the other end of the line. And, then, Nico laughed. She laughed so hard she had a coughing fit and, once that was over, she started howling again.

"I fail to see what is so amusing about that."

"You really don't know what that means, do you?"

"I wouldn't be calling you if I did."

"It means…" Nico laughed again. "I'm gonna kill him for not telling me about this!"

"Nico…"

"Oh, man." She took a deep breath to steady herself, and then, she continued: "That means Dad I'd Like to Fuck. Someone was trynna get in your pants!"

He hung up when Nico started laughing again, the sound cutting off halfway through what sounded like a mix between a screech and a scream.

"How droll."


Happy holidays, y'all!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the love you've been giving this fic these last couple of months. I know I haven't been updating very often, but your support truly means a lot.

Thank you for reading! And see ya next year!