Gregor felt the crushing dark all around him as the torches once lighting the way went dark, leaving him with nothing but his echolocation. The rats slowly advanced, fanning out around him. Instinctively reaching for his sword, Gregor felt nothing but his belt at his side. He backed up, ready to dodge as best as he could, it was just now when he noticed the sheer drop behind him. 'I've got to get out of here' he thought, beginning to panic as his heartbeat began to beat louder in his ears.

"Drop, Overlander." He heard Ares call.

'No, that can't be right, I watched him die.' He thought. The rats came closer, taking eager swipes at him.

"Drop, Overlander." There it was again.

'I have to trust him, it's my only chance.' He took a deep breath, and jumped backward, off the edge of the cliff. The air flying past his face, he called out, "Ares! Ares, please!" His voice died immediately after leaving his mouth.

"This is your fault." The strained voice of Ares ringing in his ears. "How could you?" He held his hands to his ears to block out the cries. "You let me down" He curled into a ball as the voice got louder. "You let me die." His ears ringing as the ground came into sight. The air flew by faster and faster, he started screaming as the ground grew closer and closer. "AAAaaaahhhhhhhhh-"

Gregor woke up in a cold sweat, clammy hands holding his ears as he flew up in his bed. His breath coming in quick, raspy breaths, his heart beating out of his chest as the bright sunlight momentarily blinded him.

'Huhh, three years, three months, and nineteen days since I last saw her.' He thought. He didn't try to do it, but through all the years, that number stayed in the back of his mind. 'Three years, three months, and nineteen days. I wonder how many I have before I see her again.'

He knew it was unlikely that he would ever see her again, as his mother had made good on her promise to move the family to Virginia. They lived with his uncle, John, on his farm west of Charlottesville. Gregor went to high school in a small town nearby, while his sisters went to elementary school in the same town.

Gregor had recently turned sixteen. 'Sixteen, huh. Luxa would be full blown queen by now.' Even though his mother put a strict rule about talking about, or even thinking about the Underland, and specifically Luxa and Regalia, everyone still thinks about it. The memories and scars will never leave Gregor, the fish paste given to him by Vikus, while effective at removing the small scars, made no dent on the big scars. And while Boots may have grown out of her memories, Lizzie would never forget the trauma of losing her father, then brother and sister, much less the memory of Ripred.

His father eventually got over what illness he picked up while a prisoner of the rats. Once we had moved down to Virginia, he was able to get a job teaching science in that small town, bringing our family out of the poverty zone. That allowed us to have a partly normal childhood, at least, Boots and Lizzie could have a half normal childhood. There was no chance of Gregor having a normal childhood from the moment he first lost his dad to the Underland.

Gregor had no luck finding friends in his new life, staying to himself. He never wanted to open up to people, fearing the questions that would inevitably come out. 'I was in a car crash' that was the excuse, the agreed on story, that was the only way to explain my scars. So, despite living here and going to school here for four years, Gregor still had no friends. And he liked it that way, people stay out of his way, he stays out of theirs, no problems.

"Gregor! Breakfast is ready!" He heard his father's voice coming from the kitchen, accompanied by the smell of pancakes.

"Coming!" He yelled back as he jumped out of bed. He quickly threw on his jeans and long sleeve shirt, despite it being upward of seventy degrees. The new school year was starting today, he made it to his Sophomore year. His room was at the top of the house, basically just the attic with a finished wood floor so he could have furniture. It was nothing special but it worked for him. He walked through his open doorway and down to the kitchen.

"Hi, you." A muffled voice said from the table. Gregor turned to see Boots stuffing her mouth with pancakes sitting next to Lizzie at the table and waving at him.

"Morning Boots, Morning Liz." He said, grabbing his plate. He took a seat next to them and started eating.

Gregor's mom took a plate and walked over to the table and sat next to Gregor's dad. "Hi honey." She kissed him "Good morning kids."

"Morning mom" Gregor and Lizzie answered, as she took a seat. Boots tried to answer, but only managed a muffled squeak. Gregor quickly finished his plate and headed toward the door.

"I'm heading out, bye mom, bye Liz, bye Boots. See you later dad." He slipped on his shoes and backpack and jogged out the door. The morning sun warmed his face as he made his way to school, taking a slow jog. Gregor had continued track during the years after leaving the Underland.

Gregor followed the road from the farm to his High school, hardly noticing the bulky backpack and clothing he was wearing. He had convinced his track coach to allow him to wear those clothes during practice and meets, if he continued to run track. The backpack was never much of an issue as he had become used to running with one while spending his time in the Underland, with her.

The school was soon in sight as it was only a short jog from home. He made his way to the front doors of the school, navigating through the buses and crowds of kids blocking the entrance and headed to his first class, English with Mr. Fish.

Gregor found a seat at the back of the class and waited for class to start. He took a glance around the room to see the people he would have this class with. He knew most of the people in the class, a few he sort of knew, a few he sort of liked, a few he despised. Most of the people he liked he only liked because they kept their interactions to a minimum.

The bell rang and everyone found a seat, a girl sat next to Gregor, a girl he knew, Emily. She was nice enough with him, she didn't press Gregor with questions he didn't want or couldn't answer. Once everyone found a seat Mr. Fish began.

"Good morning class, as it's the first day of class, it shouldn't be too painful for you all. We're going to start with the Syllabus." He began to walk up the rows and pass out a sheet of paper to each kid. "Now, this class will be easy for some of you, not so easy for others, and I understand that."

Mr. Fish's voice quickly became nothing but background noise for Gregor, who slipped into a daydream, He imagined himself on the back of Ares, flying high above the beautiful city of Regalia. He looked to his left and saw the shining golden fur of Aurora, with Luxa on her back, a bright smile on her face. The bats flew closer, until Gregor was nearly in arms reach of Luxa, he reached his hand out and she reached to grab it…

"Gregor, it would do you well to pay attention in my class." Mr. Fish's voice rang out to the class, locking eyes with Gregor. "Lets keep this from becoming a problem, yes?" Gregor nodded "Good." He continued going over the paper handed out to the class. And Gregor reluctantly followed along.

The next classes went easily enough, second hour Gregor had Science with his father, third hour he had World History with Mr. Tornell, and fourth hour he had Math with Mrs. Andrix.


Once school had finished, Gregor decided to go on a run, after all track wouldn't be starting for another couple weeks. He took the long way home, a half an hour run, allowing him to clear his head and think.

His mind once again went to the Underland, the forbidden thought. The one thing they weren't allowed to talk about, dream about, think about. His mind went to all those he had fought beside, Perdita, Mareth, Howard, Solovet, York, Hamnet, Hazard, Ripred, Lapblood, Twitchtip, Aurora, Andromeda, Nike, Pandora, Thalia, and of course, Ares and Luxa. How many of them never saw their home again, how many had died helping him. How many he still blamed himself for.

Gregor shook his head 'I shouldn't think about that. I need to focus on my new life, my old one will never come back.' He was nearing the farm, his mother would be wondering what took him so long. As his house came into view, he quickened his pace, eager to take a shower. He walked in the door, and as guessed, his mother was waiting for him.

"What took you so long to get home? Even walking it's only a fifteen minute walk." She said as he walked in the door.

"I went on a run, figured I may as well get ready for track." He gave her a hug and headed towards his room. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Okay" He bounded up the stairs to his room, through his open doorway. He grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom to take the shower.

Gregor was quickly out of the shower, if he stayed in too long he would start to think, that only led to pain. He quickly toweled off and put on a change of clothes before heading to his room.

His room was more like a box than anything, the walls were only four feet tall with a slanted ceiling leading to a point at the top, six and a half feet up. This would occasionally be an issue for him, as a few months ago his growth spurt hit him like a train, he grew to six foot three in a manner of weeks.

His favorite part of his room was the lone window on the front of the house, this window allowed an easy way to the roof. He would often sneak out and lay on the roof at night, staring at the stars and letting his mind wander. Most often his thoughts went to the Underland, more specifically Her.

Gregor sat on the edge of his bed and pulled out his wallet. He reached in and pulled out his most prized possession, the picture of him and Her in the museum, all those years ago. He sat there for a few minutes, remembering the feeling of her touch, her smell, her beautiful smile. He reminisced about the time he had spent with her. He wished he could go back, if only he could go back. Maybe that would help him with his nightmares.

Gregor slid the photo back into its slot in his wallet and got up off the bed. He didn't have much to do for the rest of the day, he had no homework, no job, no friends, nothing. Nothing but his own thoughts. Gregor went downstairs and sat on the couch to watch TV.

He sat there mindlessly for a few hours, watching whatever his sisters threw on. Soon his mother had dinner ready and Gregor went to get his fill. He grabbed a plate and filled it with the spaghetti his mom had made and sat at the table. Lizzie made a few taps and scratches on the table, the Code.

'You okay Gregor? You're quieter than normal.' Gregor was quick to respond 'I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind is all, new classes and all that.' Lizzy gave him a look, but decided not to respond. His mother however, was glad to cut in.

"Would you two stop doing that? You both have mouths, use them." She burst out. His mom hated the code for a couple of reasons, one she couldn't understand it, and that drove her mad. And two, it was from the Underland, the forbidden subject. Neither Gregor nor Lizzie responded, only digging deeper into their food.

The rest of dinner was largely uneventful, the typical questions were asked and the same old answers were given. His mom was the only one initiating conversations. Lizzie was working on some puzzle book, Gregor had no reason to start a conversation, Boots couldn't stop eating long enough to speak, and his dad was going over his next class's agenda.

Soon people began filtering out, first went his dad, who was a very fast eater. Next went Boots who wanted to get back to the TV. Following her was Lizzie as she had finished her puzzle book and was itching to get to the next one. And finally his mom left to clean up. Leaving Gregor to finish his food and head to his room.

Gregor hopped up the stairs and walked through his open doorway and went straight to the window. He quickly slid it open and crawled onto the roof. The house his family had moved into was a townhouse on his Uncle's farm that had gone relatively unused. He glanced around and saw farmland as far as he could see to the North, East and West of the house, the only direction he could see anything else was South, where his Uncle's family lived on the edge of a large forest.

He layed back on the roof and stared at the sky as the sun slowly lowered into the horizon. Gregor let his mind once again wander. This time his mind went to his old friends he left behind in New York, Angela and Larry. Those two were the only people in New York that he truly considered friends, they had stuck with him despite all the disappearances and excuses. He thought back to the good times they had together.

Gregor sat on the roof for hours, the sun had long set and the moon was high in the sky by the time he snapped back into reality. He gazed at the beauty of the night sky, the dazzling stars and constellations. Gregor began to inch down the roof back to his window and slid inside. He quickly closed the window and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Gregor quickly brushed his teeth and ran back up the stairs to his room. Layed in bed and closed his eyes, wishing for sleep with no nightmares. Three years, three months, and twenty days.

Hello, this is the first chapter of my new story. If you didn't know yet, I decided to discontinue my other stories. I bit off more than I could chew and lost all motivation to write anything for those stories, but I got a lot of motivation to do a story similar to The Life I Must Live, or at least the beginning of it. The big difference I have is that I have a much better idea of where I want to take this story. I hope you noticed a bit more polish in this chapter as I spent a lot of time proofreading and spell checking this. Anyway, all I can ask is that you stick with me. As usual, any criticisms or ways of increasing the quality is always appreciated, Thanks!