Robot Ninja's are Cool

Disclaimer: Metalocalypse and Dethklok belong to people who are not me. I am making ?0.00 out of this fic; it is written purely because this idea wouldn't leave me alone.

Rating: PG-13

Part: Three of Three

Set: Post The Metalocalypse has begun, but before Season two, aka between seasons one and two.

Authoress note: How would the Nathan react to finding out his 'Robot' manager is secretly a badass.

For all my reviewers, who without I would have surely given up a long time ago.

Chapter Three

Except it wasn't.

It took Nathan three weeks after Ofdensen getting hurt to realise it was bothering him and a further two weeks for him to admit it to himself and try to resolve the issue. He tried resolving it with beer and women for another week, but that didn't help. Another week was spent awkwardly making excuses to talk to Ofdensen, and it was only at the end of that week he tried to resolve the issue constructively.

He found Ofdensen in the gym.

"I, uh, didn't know we had a gym," he said, walking in and stopping dead. Ofdensen was punching a hanging bag, wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and for a moment the sight broke Nathan's brain.

"Oh, um, Nathan," Ofdensen seemed just as unsettled as Nathan for a moment before regaining his composure. "Is something wrong?"

"Should you be doing that?" Nathan asked.

"What?" Ofdensen frowned.

"Punching stuff when your hand's still," Nathan gestured at his hand in a way he hoped communicated an injury.

"Oh, uh, probably not," Ofdensen shrugged. "But it's mostly healed now, sore. But I'm ah fine."

"Good, I guess," Nathan looked at his feet, feeling deeply uncomfortable. "Look, I came to uh talk to you," Ofdensen said nothing but continued to stare at Nathan. "About what happened."

"Uh ok," Ofdensen gestured to the benches and Nathan followed him to sit down.

"Didn't know we had a gym," he muttered.

"You requested it when we first built Mordhaus," Ofdensen explained. "I think you used it once, so I hope you don't mind that I've been making use of it."

"No, it's fine. You're not the guy I thought would use a gym though," Nathan said.

"Lots of people use gyms, Nathan," Ofdensen said. "But you wanted to talk to me?"

"Oh, uh yeah," Nathan said. "Right. Well, Skwisgaar and Toki were talking about the night of the concert."

"Which one?" Ofdensen said.

"Huh?"

"Which concert, you do a lot of them," Ofdensen said.

"Oh, about six weeks ago, when the fans attacked us," Ofdensen nodded. "Well, they kept on about it and on about it so we ended up making a bet and then there was butter and your hand and I'm still not sure they were right and…"

"Nathan," Ofdensen interrupted. "I'm not following you."

"Skwisgaar and Toki said you saved them," Nathan said.

"Oh, yes, from the assassin." Ofdensen nodded.

"They said he was huge, bigger than me, and you broke his arm, roundhouse kicked him into the river and spouted some badass quips."

"Well, I uh," Ofdensen was turning a delightful shade of pink.

"We didn't believe them, so Pickles and Toki started a bet. They knocked glasses over, put wolves in your toilet, butter on the floor and the crossbows," Nathan pointed at the palm of his hand.

"Why?" Ofdensen said.

"To see if you were a ninja or a robot," Nathan shrugged. "Toki won the bet, but I still don't know."

"Don't know what?" Ofdensen said.

"That you beat up that guy if he's huge and you're… well, you're not. I mean, all you do is paperwork and…" he trailed off when Ofdensen started chuckling.

"Is that what's been bothering you?" he asked, Nathan frowned. "You should have said."

"Said what?" Nathan huffed.

"Nathan," Ofdensen said.

"Charles," Nathan snapped.

"Nathan, it's my job to take care of you boys, I figured a long time ago that that would be from both physical and nonphysical threats. I'm well capable in both regards."

"What are you saying?" Nathan didn't like Ofdensen's tone.

"I am a badass, Nathan," Ofdensen smiled. "In all ways."

"Bullshit," Nathan managed.

"You don't believe me?" Ofdensen still had a small smile. "The fight me." Nathan felt a spark of heat start at the top of his head and shoot like a bolt right into his gut, leaving a trail of heat and tingle behind it.

"What?" he said.

"You heard me," Ofdensen stood up and took a few steps away. For a moment Nathan considered taking him up on his offer, then the image of one of his enormous hands connecting with Ofdensen's face and crushing it filled his mind and he shook his head.

"No," he said.

"No?" Ofdensen turned to face him. "That's fine, I understand if you don't want to."

"No, I just…" Nathan felt his cheeks heat.

"I can imagine that your image would be important to you," Ofdensen was saying. Nathan could hear the teasing in his tone and shook his head, it was rare that Ofdensen did this, but the diminutive man had teased him a few times in the past. It was a side of his personality that didn't come to the fore much, and Nathan had never seen Charles tease any of the others, only him.

"You're trying to get me to fight you," he said, also standing.

"You should take your shoes off first," Ofdensen said. "You'll slip on the mats and there's no need to give me yet another advantage." Nathan snorted a laugh; the cheeky fucker was going to get his ass handed to him. Nathan toed off his shoes and came to stand across from Ofdensen on the mats.

"You can't hold this against me when I make you eat this mat," Nathan couldn't help the smile on his face.

"Oh, I think ah you'll be the one eating the mat," Ofdensen said. Spreading his legs and crouching, Nathan frowned but shrugged it off and moved forward for the first hit. Ofdensen moved a few centimetres to the side faster than Nathan could track, so his hit didn't connect. His wrist was grabbed and something hit him in his gut, knocking the wind out of him. He was on his back before he realised what had happened.

"Sorry was that fast?" Ofdensen's voice practically dripped smugness. He offered Nathan a hand to his feet.

"Shut up," Nathan took another strike and missed, and another, and another. "Stop dancing around!" he snapped.

"Ok," Ofdensen nodded once and something connected hard with the back of Nathan's knee, knocking him down again. Another hand up and another smug comment made Nathan snigger again. He couldn't remember ever seeing Ofdensen have fun before. It made him want to get drunk with the guy, see what he was like when he got sloppy. His distraction allowed Ofdensen to get behind him and twist his arm around and pin it to his back in such a way that it felt like his shoulder might pop out.

"I give," Nathan said and was instantly released. "What the hell," he tried to rub feeling back into his hand.

"Growing up, I was ah always small," Ofdensen said. "I grew up fighting guys who were bigger and stronger than me."

"That gave you ninja skills?" Nathan said.

"No," Ofdensen smiled again and sat down on the mat. "But I learned pretty quickly that if someone like you hit me, then I'd be, well it wouldn't be good for me. So, I learned ways to not let that happen."

"Oh," Nathan sat next to him.

"You've got a lot of power, Nathan. But you need to learn how to focus it and use it. I might not always be here and you need to protect yourself."

"See you've ruined it," Nathan snapped. "That was fun and you gotta go bring it down like that."

"Oh, uh, sorry," Ofdensen said.

"You're always going to be here," Nathan stood up. "You have to always be here, so I don't gotta learn shit." He walked away, but stopped at the door and looked back at Ofdensen still sitting on the mat. "But that was fun, I'll beat you next time."

Ofdensen smiled as Nathan left.

Nathan went back up to the main sitting room, picking up a beer from the cooler and heading into the hot tub to join Pickles and Skwisgaar. His back and shoulder fucking hurt like hell now, he needed to soak that 'play fight' out of his muscles.

"Hey Nathans," Skwisgaar said. "You look funny, where's your shoes?"

"Oh," Nathan realised he'd left his shoes in the gym. "Um don't worry about it."

"You ok?" Pickles said. Nathan nodded.

"Yeah, I just realised something," he said. "Ofdensen, he's not a robot or a ninja. He's a ninja robot."

End Fic

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