NO TIME TO DINE STARRING STAN AND FRANCINE

A man walked up to the reception desk at Stan and Roger's Stamp Agency.

"Hello and welcome to Stan and Roger's. Stan isn't here he's on a dinner date with his wife Francine" said

Roger.

"That's fine. Say do you accept any stamps with the sun and the moon on them?" asked the man.

"Yep. We do," said Roger. Then someone who looked like he was from Roger's planet came up to the desk.

"Do you accept stamps with anything on them? Like anything?" asked the creature.

"Yes. Yes we do. You name it" replied Roger.

"Great, thanks" replied the creature.

"Anything else I can do for ya?" asked Roger, striking a pose on the desk.

Meanwhile, we join Stan and Francine dining at a restaurant...

"How do you want your coffee?" asked the waitress.

"Black as night," replied Stan in a melodramatic tone.

"Stan, I feel like we're growing apart. Roger told me about the ghost girl" said Francine.

"The ghost lady? No, no, that was just one time at the CIA Target Practice Room. We just shot the shit and

blew off some steam that's all, ah-hah-hah-huh. Ehh...yeah. Good times!" said Stan.

"Be honest, Stan. Are you having an affair with Annie Oakely? I can't just have you gallavanting

about with Little Miss Sharpshooter when it's nearing our anniversary" said Francine, frustrated.

"Look, Francine, you'd get along great with her if you just got to know her. You both had rough childhoods you both

hunted big game to make ends meet and you both won trophies at gun shows" said Stan.

"Oh, so you know all her secrets do you? What's my favorite color Stan?" asked Francine.

"Uhh….blue?" asked Stan.

"Wrong. That's probably Annie Oakley's favorite. Go off with her and let her share some MORE secrets why don't you?" said Francine.

"We all have our secrets. We'll get to yours next" replied Stan.

"That's it, Stan. I'm leaving you for Billy the Kid" said Francine, storming off in a huff.

"FRANCINE! Wait! Francine, I can explain it all" said Stan.

"Why don't you just let Annie get your gun? I'm sure she'll be good to it. She's already got your heart!" said Francine.

"She was raised by wolves! Annie Oakely was raised by wolves! It wasn't a secret, she told me!" shouted Stan.

"She didn't mean literally! She meant it figuratively" said Francine.

"Well how would you know? Are you just as in love with her as I am?" shouted Stan, two tables across.

Scene cuts to Roger dressed as a pioneer girl.

"Surely Stan will buy this...he's never SEEN that ghost so far. Okay once. But he won't remember what she looked like"

said Roger. He then began singing:

Francine, Francine, Francine fraaaanciiiiiine. I'm beggin' of ya please don't take my Stan!

"That's a Dolly Parton song. I love Dolly Parton songs in case people haven't noticed" muttered Roger.

He sang the "Jolene" song parody while clutching Annie Oakely's gun. Annie took the gun from Roger and began chasing him down the street firing at him with no mercy.

Just then Stan got a text from Roger.

It read:

Yo Stan. People are complaining about their envelopes having some disturbing stuff on the stamps, and let's just say they are not safe for work. It has nothing to do with my influence I can assure you, you know me I'm quite pure. Oh, also Annie Oakely's ghost says "Hiiiii" or something. Actually she just tried to kill me. Cute.

Did I mention ninjas are trashing the place? You'd better come and use your CIA skills on em.

Phil Lately AKA Roger.

"Oh no! The stamp warehouse is under siege! I must go and rescue it from the forces of evil!" said Stan.

Francine, who was sitting across two tables from Stan began hearing someone sitting nearby listening to

"Taking Care of Business" on his Ipod.

"Hey, take care of your own business! That was his song, it was our song, but it's over!" shouted Francine.

The man listening to the song just looked confused and dumbfounded.

At the Stamp HQ:

"I'm kicking ass Roger!" said Stan, as he began karate kicking all the bad guys sending them out the windows.

Just then some highly trained terrorists came down on ropes after the ninjas were taken care of. Stan shot all

the terrorists in cold blood, but then people dressed up as pirates entered the room attacking Stan with guns, cannons,

and swords. The ghost of Annie Oakely appeared in front of Stan.

"Howdy partner! Ya'll gonna get some help from the best!" said Annie, blowing a kiss to Stan, who turned red.

"Uhh...yeah...sure listen I need to tell you about someone" said Stan.

"Sure Stanicula, got a feel for what's going on here? Cuz I certainly do, I've got this, none of these clam chewers will stand a chance against my Parker Brothers Double Barrel shotgun! Yeehaw!" said Annie as she blasted away

at the pirates who didn't know what was hitting them as they couldn't see the ghost of Annie Oakely. As the pirates

dropped like flies Stan was confused, he could only hear Annie he thought he was going crazy.

"Did I do all that with my mind?" asked Stan. He suddenly felt a bullet speed right near his skull barely missing

him.

"Careful, critter, or next time-not the second time not the third time but NEXT time-you'll be my bulls eye" said Annie as she finally appeared in front of Stan.

"Woah-woah-Annie keep a cover on that blanket. We can't have us-I mean you being seen this way" said Stan.

"What are you worried about partner? I didn't mean you any harm I was just lettin' you know what I'm capable

of" said Annie.

"Listen Annie, you're a ghost okay? A ghost. You're going to have to keep it real!" said Stan.

The janitor walked by sweeping up the floor.

"Oh, really?" said the janitor, whistling.

"Uhh-I was just...talking to a friend" said Stan, looking nervous.

"Why are you so nervous partner?" asked Annie.

"Look, Annie, you can't keep following me. I have a wife!" said Stan. The janitor mumbled "God knows how that worked out" and walked along. Then Annie began pouring herself some coffee. When the janitor saw coffee being poured by nothing that was visible he freaked out and ran away.

"Does she like to go outdoors? She better durn like it that's all I can say!" said Annie.

"Uhh...yes. Yes she does" said Stan.

"I reckon I can teach her a thing or two if you introduce me to her" said Annie.

"Well, that won't be easy. She thinks you and me are a thing" said Stan.

"You and me are two totally different things. There's nothing that can demonstrate that more than the fact I'm independent, invisible and invincible. Always have been too. Ain't nuthin changed since I'm a ghost. I only stay this way

to teach mortals my ways and keep the flames of freedom burnin' yall!" explained Annie.

"Annie get your gun. We're gonna find out who tried to kill us" said Stan.

"Let's go get them Stan, I'm ready, then we'll go out for cornbread!" said Annie.

"No, no cornbread. Not yet at least. I need to find out who tried to kill me" said Stan.

"It was Bullock. As a test. You succeeded so you're hired again. Also, Annie is too. Annie's ghost can come in handy fighting terrorists" said Roger.

"Excellent. I'm sure Francine will be willing to make a compromise, maybe I'll force her to eat juniper berries, haha, she hates those things with a passion flower!" said Stan.

"Don't talk that way about your wife now I'm warnin' ya, don't get me wrong I ain't afraid to love a man, but

I ain't afraid to shoot one neither" said Annie.

LATER THAT DAY...

"YOU JUST KEEP ROCKING IT ANNIE! WOO!" said Francine, firing at the targets in the CIA training room.

"Ya'll learnin' things you never learned from Stan huh?" said Annie.

"Stan can go flap his Buffalo wings. It's you and me against the world Annie!" said Francine.

"Annie and Frannie! I plum like that I reckon" said Annie smiling.

"Hey, hey, wait a minute what's going on here with you and Annie?" said Stan.

"Nothing Stan. We're all going out to dine. All three of us. Roger can suck it" said Francine.

"I like the little potato angler myself. He can come with us" suggested Annie.

At dinner:

"Best beef I've had in a long time" said Annie, wiping her face with a cloth...but she was not visible.

"I hope she doesn't mean Stan," thought Francine.

"So were you really raised by wolves?" asked Stan.

"Only figuratively speaking, pumpkin pickle breath" said Annie.

"Annie, do you mind if I create a persona after you?" asked Roger.

"Not at all darlin. Not at all darlin!" said Annie Oakely.

End of First Episode