Chapter 14: Advanced Analytics

Summary: Jeff makes a series of increasingly poor decisions

It was around seven thirty the next morning before Annie had finally got up the nerve to really deal with the situation. Jeff had come to bed late, Mark having stayed over long past what had been implied, and she had needed to get the kids ready for bed all by herself. She rationalized it because it was an unusual situation, Jeff was apologetic, and he was normally very hands on with the childcare. It actually wasn't until he came to bed reeking of Scotch with an undercurrent of beer that she became alarmed.

It was evident he was hungover, but not too badly as he was still functioning and had gotten Sophie ready for the day while Annie tended to Sebastian. He had poured out some cereal and made a pot of obscenely strong coffee, wincing here and there as Sophie screeched. After putting Sebastian down into his playpen, Annie padded up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso.

She whispered, "Is everything okay?"

One of his hands covered hers and his body relaxed, indicating he had been wound very tight. He glanced over toward Sophie chomping away at her cereal and replied, "Not really."

"The new case?"

"Um, yeah. It's kind of a mess."

His tone was odd, and normally he'd have turned around by now and pulled her into a hug, so she had the distinct impression he was avoiding looking at her. In fact, he had been equally strange before Mark had arrived last night, often averting his gaze under the excuse of dealing with the kids during dinner. The thing was, he would normally use any opportunity he could to googly eye her at the dinner table. Even Sophie sometimes noticed and would start loudly commenting on it. It was usually very funny.

But he had been distant and preoccupied, and she didn't know what could be so bad. Aloud, she ventured, "I'm sure you and Mark can handle it. You just have to break it down into steps, like a project. If you want, I can help. I know I'm not a lawyer but I'm good at organizing messes."

At the resulting silence she sighed and added, "Please turn around and look at me."

With reluctance, he did and they were face to face for a brief moment before he did pull her into a hug per usual. That glimpse at him told her he was very worried, and she wondered if he needed an adjustment in his medication or if something were actually wrong.

He mumbled into the top of her head, "I'm sorry I've been so weird. I just don't know what to do."

"The next step?"

He clarified, "I know what I have to do, but I'm not quite sure how to have a difficult conversation I need to have. And part of me just wants to pack us all up and leave town, which makes me feel like a terrible person. Because you see, that's not the right thing to do."

She frowned as she considered this dilemma and then summarized, "So you need to face something you don't want to deal with? And you don't think you can do it?"

"The thing is, I know I can. It's just that I'm having some very strong feelings bubbling up and I don't want to have them."

She finally looked up and noted his expression. His mouth was set in a tense line. She initially assumed it was anxiety but now recognized something she hadn't seen on his face since the Adam days.

"You're angry."

"Fuck yes, I am."

"Daddy, can I watch Frozen?"

Annie sighed as Jeff's arms fell away and he turned immediately to Sophie. Part of her wondered if he were eager to escape the conversation, but then again as precious as Sophie was, she was a chatterbox and highly distracting.

"You know what, munchkin? I think that's an excellent idea."

"Yay! You watch it with me okay?"

"I need to talk to Mommy. It's important."

"No Daddy."

Jeff shook his head and went over and picked up Sophie, who started squealing as he growled, "You will watch Frozen, but I need to talk to Mommy. We'll go to the park later."

"The park? I wanna play in my moat."

"We can play in the backyard, sure."

"Can Jamie come play? Jamie from the pretty blue house?"

Suddenly Jeff stilled and his eyes closed. Annie felt something gurgling in her stomach as she watched him do his best silent compartmentalization talk and then open his eyes and resume hauling Sophie off toward the living room. At that moment, Sebastian started babbling and throwing his bear around in the playpen, so she reached over and picked him up.

Within a minute, Jeff returned as the sound of Frozen played in the background. He was looking haggard yet still handsome, and his hand went to his scruff in the way it did when he was intensely nervous.

Yes, he was nervous now. Not angry. She felt she couldn't keep up.

"Jeff, just tell me what's going on."

His eyes went to Sebastian, and he smiled for a quick second before resuming his somber expression. He took the bear from Annie and began pushing it gently into the baby's mouth, with Sebastian clearly enthralled by this. It was very cute while at the same time she suddenly felt really sad.

He mumbled, "Where do I start. Hmm."

"Anywhere."

There were several seconds of silence before his eyes darted at her and then back to their son.

"You know what I told you about Whitman? He lives nearby?"

Whitman's name surprised her, and then something started gnawing away at her. He had been really tense since after she spotted him in the cafeteria having coffee with Eustice. It had been just after the daycare meeting. Eustice had been so delightful to have on the committee, an almost literal ray of sunshine, and she had asked him about meeting up with him and his wife so the kids could play, and he had said of course in that cheery way he always said everything. And he had scuttled out of the meeting afterward but with a light goodbye. She had honestly been surprised that she had found him and Jeff together just a little while later. They had both mentioned they had run into each other and decided to have coffee.

She couldn't imagine what he was going to say next so she merely nodded.

He continued while still focusing on Sebastian, "We had a chat yesterday, as you know. Apparently, we already know his wife." He then turned to directly gauge her reaction, just the hint of perspiration on his brow.

"Really? Who is she?" She felt her voice go up two notches and she almost winced.

"Okay, this is going to sound bananas."

"Just tell me."

"It's Michelle."

She was honestly dumbfounded and merely stared at him for what felt like ages. He seemed very anxious about it, and suddenly she shifted back to reality.

"Michelle...Slater?"

"Yes."

"That's crazy."

"I had no idea, and Annie you have to know I haven't thought about her in years. I've been so happy with you and our family and that will never change."

A wave of something came over her, and she couldn't identify it but it was not a great feeling.

"What does Whitman being married to Michelle have anything to do with us?"

"It doesn't. That's my point."

She suddenly found herself rolling her eyes, and while she knew that was a pretty rude thing to do, she couldn't stop herself. She was getting flashes of old Jeff in his ridiculousness, and it was annoying.

"Jeff, as weirded out as I am that Eustice and Michelle are together, that doesn't mean I feel threatened by her. I know you didn't love her, and we've been together for four years at this point."

"You're right I didn't love her, but I felt things for her."

"I would assume you did."

He took a deep breath and then said, "And she hurt me more than I've ever admitted to you or even my therapist. When she dumped me, just so abruptly and so coldly I mean I knew I hadn't been the best boyfriend but I was trying to do what boyfriends do. I got her Chubby Hubby ice cream and everything."

She still felt irritated, but at the same time he was now looking at her with sadness, and she could hear what he was telling her.

"You were vulnerable with her and she squashed you."

"Yeah, and it sucked."

She felt herself softening, and she touched his shoulder with her free hand and said, "I of all people know what it's like to have someone in your past. It's complicated." She gulped and then added, "I'm sorry you'll have to see her again. I mean even if we don't let the kids play together, she's our neighbor. We're probably going to be running into her."

"Exactly."

For some reason, he appeared even more panicked, so she continued.

"I think this is something you should try to put behind you. I don't mean suppress your feelings, but maybe talk to your therapist about it. From what I remember of Michelle, she's probably not the greatest person to try to process this with, and I can listen but I'd imagine you feel a little weird talking to me about it completely."

"Crap, Annie. I'm sorry. I realize how you must be feeling right now when I'm saying this, and I just…"

"- It's okay. I'm glad you told me what's going on. It's just that I want us to be happy. You're angry with Michelle for breaking up with you the way she did, but it's in the past and maybe you're angry with someone besides Michelle." She hesitated and decided to just put it out there, recognizing he might not be in the best place to hear it, "She was awful, but don't you think this is probably about your dad? Maybe it would be better if we talked about him?"

Jeff suddenly stepped back and blurted, "It's not about him. Annie, there's more I need to tell you, I…"

"Let it go! Let it goooooo!"

He paled, his eyes going wide and he snapped, "Okay, we need to do something with her."

"Jeff, she's just doing what she always does. Why don't you go lie down, and I'll come up in a bit and…"

"Let it go! Let it goooooo!"

"Goooooooo!"

Sebastian smacked Annie across the face with a spitty hand, and she readjusted him in her arms as she tried to reassure Jeff that everything was fine. She said, "Well, I could see if someone could watch her so we can talk, would that be better?"

Without hesitation he said, "Yes."

He took Sebastian from her, and then smiled at him before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey squirt."

"Are you okay with him while I make a call?"

"Of course."

She eyed him warily but then noticed he seemed a little better while holding their son. He went with him toward his home office and she took the opportunity to call Nancy, hoping she could take Sophie for the morning, but was met with the unfortunate news that she had been called in to a nursing shift and wouldn't be available. She was about to try Daniela too and then remembered the Dildopolis family had gone to Arizona on vacation for the week. Holly and the kids were with her parents in Denver, so that was also a non starter.

She had one other call to make, but she couldn't remember Britta's schedule and hoped she wouldn't be imposing too badly.

"Hey Annie. What's up? It's early."

"Britta, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?"

"Nah, Ian has an early class on Fridays. He just left and now Kevin's in the kitchen making a racket so I dunno, I'm just thinking about taking a shower and editing my paper. It's due by five."

Annie felt a pang of guilt, but she really needed to find a way to get Sophie out of the house.

"I hate to ask this because I don't want to put you out, but is there any way you could watch Sophie for a few hours today?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Um, I just had something come up I need to deal with and I can't handle her right now."

In the background she could hear Sophie continuing to sing Let it Go and Jeff was nowhere to be seen, so she walked over and stopped right in front of his closed office door. She grimaced and then made a line for the living room and motioned for Sophie to quiet down.

"Oh yay! You watch it with me, Mommy?"

"Woof!"

Ruffles sat next to Sophie on the couch and cocked her head as Annie entered the room.

"I can't sweetie."

"Where's Daddy?"

"In his office. He'll be out in a minute."

"I want Daddy."

"Woof!"

"Just a sec. Here, have some crackers."

Obviously in response to overhearing that exchange, Britta said, "Annie, I can totally watch Sophie. It's no big deal."

She sighed and went back to the kitchen. Eyeing the closed office door, she went to the farthest spot away and then whispered, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, and um, why are you whispering?"

"I just don't want to bother Jeff."

"I don't get it. I bother him all the time, he's fine."

Normally Annie would have laughed at that, but instead she remained oddly flat.

She explained, "He's working on some big case and I think he's also in some anxiety spiral again. It's been a long time since this happened. He was up all night with Mark, and well I just don't want to ….I need to talk to him and I could really use time with him alone."

"You sound upset. What's wrong?"

"I don't know, but I just need to talk to him. He's not being himself, and um...I don't want to get into it. I'm worried about him."

There was a long pause and then, "God, you don't want me to watch the baby, too do you?"

Annie rolled her eyes. "I'll keep him with me and work around it."

"Shit Annie. Fine. This whole thing sounds weird with Jeff. I can take Sebastian too but umm, you'll need to tell me what to do with him."

"Thanks, Britta. Really, but we'll keep him here."

"Really, hoes before bros and all that."

"That doesn't really apply when you're agreeing to watch my baby."

"Yeah, but you need to talk to your man and you sound worried so I'll help you out."

"Thanks, Britta. You're a lifesaver. Watching Sophie will be a huge help."

X

X

She lightly knocked on Jeff's office door, and he came out within a few seconds, holding Sebastian up to his shoulder and a burp cloth underneath the baby's drooly chin. She smiled slightly at the sight of them, for Jeff seemed ever so slightly more grounded, but as she looked at him more closely she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He wasn't wearing a suit today so she assumed he wasn't going to court or anything, so that was good at least.

"I've packed up Sophie's things. Britta's coming over to get her."

"Thanks." He smirked and indicated with his head toward Sebastian as he commented, "I'm Handsome Like My Daddy?"

She realized he must have noticed Sebastian's new onesie, the one that was embroidered with just those words. She chuckled and nodded as she stepped closer and placed her hand lightly on his arm.

"He is. Well, he will be one day."

"You think he'll look like me? He has your eyes."

"He already looks a lot like you. His little pointy nose and his blonde hair." She ran her hand over their son's wisps.

Jeff's voice sounded odd as he remarked, "Yeah, I guess he does. And his hair isn't curly like the munchkin's."

"That's because you have straight hair. See? He's like you."

"It's crazy that he's like half me. How fuckin' weird is that."

"Jeff. Language."

She looked up expecting him to be still smirking, but his expression was somber.

"Whatever is going on, you know you have my full support."

With a heavy sigh, he said, "I don't want to freak you out. I wasn't going to even tell you about it just yet because I didn't want to upset you."

"Let it goooo!"

"Woof!"

"So there's more?"

"Da doi."

For some reason he then winced, and he turned and muttered something about them picking this up when Sophie was gone, and walked toward the living room. She followed. He sat down on the couch and while continuing to hold Sebastian with one arm, reached over and tousled Sophie's curls with his free hand. She turned to him and squinted.

"Daddy, we do my hair and now you mess it all up!"

"Oh, please. It was getting crunchy. Remember we like soft curls, munchkin?"

"I liked it the way you made it."

"I'll fix it before Britta comes over."

Sophie smiled and said, "I can't wait to see Auntie Britta."

"Yeah, shocker."

He then looked up at Annie as Ruffles crawled across Sophie and onto his lap so she could lick the baby.

"I have a meeting with Mark at ten."

Her brow furrowing, Annie said, "We'll have plenty of time to talk. Britta should be over soon."

"We could talk later though?"

Suddenly she was pretty frustrated. After all of his vagueness about what was bothering him, dropping hints of a case along with stuff about his abandonment issues, she wanted them to have a straightforward conversation.

"I don't think we should put this off."

"It might be an easier conversation once I get some stuff off my mind that I need to finalize with Mark. Then I can give you more of a timeline."

"Now you're scaring me."

"Crap, that's not what I meant to do. I just mean I'll be able to talk about it, I think."

"We're doing this in about twenty minutes, Jeff. I don't care if you're not prepared. I love you."

Sophie took her eyes off the television and looked back and forth between them.

"Mommy loves you, Daddy. You should talk to her. But not talk during Frozen, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, munchkin. Sorry."

They smiled sheepishly at each other, properly chastised.

X

X

Jeff found a way to get some air, literally and figuratively as they waited for Britta. Ruffles had needed a good walk, as he had only let her out in the backyard when they got up that morning but was in need of burning off doggie energy especially since they weren't going to campus today so she wouldn't be in Ian's class.

That fuckwad Ian. He'd have to talk to him soon and point out that keeping things from him now led to an even more awkward and potentially emotionally traumatizing situation for everyone. Of course he assumed Ian didn't suspect anything, but stil. He could have told him about Michelle and Eustice and then he would have had a chance of figuring this all out sooner.

As he walked Ruffles, he remembered his talk with Mark the previous evening, at least most of it. They had ended up getting pretty hammered in his home office, mostly because when under this type of emotional stress they both had templates of their old Hamish Hamish & Hamlin days and alcohol had been a heavy component of that. It had honestly felt pretty cathartic to be completely open with Mark about everything, even regaling him with some tales of him and Michelle and what had happened at the Tranny Dance. Mark per usual was almost living vicariously through him and was practically giddy while also maintaining a certain gravitas he could mysteriously channel when it came to the law.

They had formed a tentative plan for Mark to draw up some papers so they could petition the court for a paternity test, but of course it would be best if Jeff were to approach Michelle first. Mark had offered to do this in his stead, but Jeff thought that was weird and unnecessary. Mark had then offered to accompany him, but he had shooed that idea away pretty quickly so they had compromised in rehearsing how this might go today at ten. The plan was for Jeff to then get in contact with Michelle later today and arrange a private meeting. Mark would be on standby with the court petition so they could get things moving before Michelle in all likelihood tried o squash it.

God, he hoped Eustice had talked to Michelle last night. He hadn't heard anything.

As if on cue his phone buzzed, and he took it out of his pocket and answered, "Hello."

"Jeff! It's me, Eustice Whitman!"

Suddenly finding it somewhat humorous that Eustice would think to specify his last name because how many Eustices were there in these times anyway, Jeff started to smile. He then felt his gut dropping as he considered how this whole mess would impact Eustice, a man who had never done anything bad to him and was full of sunshine.

"Hi Eustice. What's up?"

"I just wanted to be true to my promise and let you know that I talked to Michelle last night and filled her in. She knows about you and Annie and that you're our neighbors. I must say, she took it really well. She was surprised of course, but she wanted me to tell you that she's happy for you and hopes there is no unnecessary awkwardness."

Jeff considered that of course Michelle would say something like that. Unless she was incredibly stupid, and he knew that she wasn't, she'd have to be panicking thinking he might figure things out.

"Eustice, you didn't mention to her our little crazy conversation yesterday, did you? I know I said some nutso stuff. Please tell me you didn't embarrass me."

There was a gasp of indignation.

"Of course not! That stays between us, man to man. I understand and let's just put that behind us."

"Great. Thanks for the update."

"You're welcome. It's Friday! Seize the day, Jeff!"

"Haha okay."

"I'm off to campus, will I see you there?"

"Not today. I'm seizing it."

They ended the call, and Jeff felt like a mixture of asshole and chump with just a hint of lawyer snake that amped up even more as he found himself rounding the corner onto Broadmore and spotted Michelle emerging from the blue Victorian. He caught his breath, not having laid eyes on her in four years but it was definitely her. Hair still long and shiny, still impeccably dressed (this time in khaki colored capri pants and dark navy sweater), and holding a small little boy on her hip. She was waving, and he suddenly realized Eustice was pulling out of the driveway.

Jeff froze.

X

X

Annie was relieved when Britta arrived. After all the ominous feelings during her conversation with Jeff, it was nice to be on the receiving end of Britta's usual ardently helpful energy. She so needed some help right now, and Britta had a way with Sophie.

"How long am I going to be at your house?"

"Eh, a few hours?"

"All day?"

"Yeah, most of it."

"Britta, it'll just be a little while. I'll call you. I know you have your paper due."

"It's almost done. Ian was super helpful with helping me edit."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's okay. Personally, I think I nailed it."

Annie smiled genuinely for the first time since yesterday, and she walked over and gave Britta a hug while Sophie went over to the playpen to say goodbye to Sebastian.

"Thank you."

Britta patted her awkwardly on the back and said, "Annie, tell me what's wrong."

They pulled out of the embrace and Annie sighed.

"I don't know. Jeff's being very mysterious about something he says he needs to tell me. Mark was here last night.."

-"Oh, I was wondering whose car that was in your driveway."

Annie suddenly went to the front door and opened it to peer out. Sure enough, Mark's car was there but no one was inside. It then dawned on her that of course Mark had gotten drunk as well and likely needed to cab home. She wondered when he was planning to return for it. She sighed again and then closed the door, turning to come within inches of Britta who was staring at her.

She explained, "As I was saying, Mark came over, and they talked in Jeff's office for a while, and they were discussing some case and drinking. It's obvious Jeff is hung over and well Mark couldn't drive home I guess. They have a meeting at ten, and now Jeff's trying to take back things he started to tell me so he could meet with Mark first. And now he's scaring me."

"Crap. Has he told you anything?"

"Not much. Just a really difficult case but then he indicates it's mostly emotionally difficult rather than logistically something he can't do, but then I'm not sure if I got confused or if he did because he's hungover and I'm pretty sure spiraling, but he started on some rant about...Oh, wait, you don't know about that." She paused and took a breath, "This is going to sound crazy, but Professor Whitman is married to Michelle Slater and they live around the corner."

Britta's eyes grew exponentially larger, and she squeaked. Annie had never heard such an exclamation come from her friend, but she was concerned.

"Britta?"

"Um, yeah. No, I just...I know about that. Whitman and Slater. Ian told me and Jeff yesterday."

"Wow. Jeff only told me this morning."

"Huh."

"What is it? Britta, you look weird."

"What did he tell you about them?"

"Nothing, only something about him still being angry with her for dumping him, which frankly doesn't make a lot of sense, but then I could tell he was afraid to tell me something, something he thinks will upset me. Something he said maybe needs to wait until after his meeting with Mark, and I don't have any idea what he's talking about."

"Mommy, have you seen Bear?"

"He's in your backpack, sweetie."

"Oh no he's not. He's in Daddy's office."

"No, sweetie. I put him in your backpack."

"And I took him out and put him in Daddy's office."

Britta chortled as Annie stared down at Sophie, who was smiling. She then winked at her and ran toward the back of the house. Annie turned back to Britta and said, "She gets that wink from Jeff. It's funny except right now I'm not in a fun mood."

"Annie, look, if you wanna talk later, you'll call me? Please call me."

"Britta?"

They were interrupted by a knock at the front door. Annie turned and spotted Mark peaking through the window, smiling apologetically.

X

X

Jeff stood at the corner for what felt like an eternity, watching as Michelle took Jamie back into the house after Eustice's car had driven away. Jamie had been waving at his father, and Michelle had been helping him. It was positively wholesome, and Jeff suddenly had a wave of guilt wash over him.

He'd be breaking up what seemed to be a nice little family. There's no way Michelle and Eustices' relationship would ever be the same, and then of course there was Jamie and Eustice. Jeff considered the child seemed really happy with the father he knew and would be very confused about all of this. Jeff was pretty baffled himself, not having had much space to really think through what it would mean to try to form a relationship with the kid. He was only three and half, but he still had his own personality and life experience with his...family.

Jeff felt his ulcer returning, and he looked down at Ruffles and said, "Let's go have a chat."

He didn't need to talk to Mark. He couldn't stand this limbo any longer.

He marched up to the house.