Published November 22, 2020

"To the End of the Line"

Shadowsan was not surprised to hear Carmen, Ivy and Zack leave the warehouse. They did not tell him where they were going or when—or even if—they would return. None of them had spoken to him since his conversation with Carmen about her father.

Telling her the full story had brought back the doubts that he had buried so many years before. He had tried to do right by her, but he had never been certain whether his choices were the best he could have made. Would he have done better to send her to an orphanage or adoption agency? Of course, such questions had become moot after the faculty decided to raise her on the island. Still, looking back, he could not help but wonder if she would have been better off growing up away from V.I.L.E.

Now that she knew the truth—that he had been willing to kill Dexter Wolf, and had destroyed her family's home, and was the reason she had grown up at V.I.L.E. Island—Shadowsan wondered whether Carmen would try to kill him, and, if she tried, whether he should stop her. He did not want to fight her, but the alternative would not be good for either of them.

Shadowsan did not fear death itself, but he feared the consequences it would cause for Carmen. He would not be there if she needed his help. As competent as she was, and as loyal and helpful as her friends proved themselves to be, there had been times when she would have lost her freedom or her life without Shadowsan's intervention.

She might even miss him. That might have been a vain thought, but it was undeniable that their bond had deepened over the past few months. Even Zack, Ivy, and Player had expressed appreciation for Shadowsan's presence and his contributions to their work.

And if Carmen herself killed him, she might regret her actions. Shadowsan did not want her to carry any more burdens than she already did, least of all such heavy ones as guilt or self-loathing.

He could run away again, disappear into the shadows. But that would be cowardly and might make him appear even more guilty than he already was.

He decided that he ought to face the consequences of his actions. Even though he had not done the deed Carmen suspected, he had kept the truth from her. He had not trusted her to forgive him, and he had betrayed her nascent trust in him. So he waited patiently in his new room for her return.

Less than a day went by before he heard the young people come in. Ivy and Zack were more subdued than usual.

"Shadowsan?" Carmen's voice echoed through the hallway leading to his room.

Without moving from his meditative position, he answered, "I am here."

A moment later, she stood in the threshold. "May I come in?"

He nodded once, and Carmen sat down on the mat. "I visited Chief."

Shadowsan blinked in surprise. He kept his body still, but his mind raced. Had she tried to kill Chief, to avenge her father's death?

He was relieved when she explained, "I got enough info to hack into A.C.M.E.'s system. We found her account of what happened in Argentina. Your story checks out. I believe you." Carmen's eyes softened. "And … I don't blame either of you for what happened. You were trying to do your jobs, and what you thought was right."

Shadowsan inclined his head in humble gratitude.

Carmen had more to report. "According to A.C.M.E.'s investigation, the villa was owned by a woman who died two weeks earlier. There's a place of burial recorded." Carmen's pause was almost indiscernible, but Shadowsan noticed it, as well as the way she trembled, ever so slightly. "I need to verify if there's really someone buried there, and if so, whether that person is my mother." She looked at Shadowsan beseechingly. "Will you come with me?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you." She sounded sincerely grateful.

"Will Zack and Ivy be joining us?"

"No. I told them to take a break. They'll hold down the fort here."

Shadowsan thought this a wise arrangement. This trip would be somber and possibly macabre. As much as the siblings loved Carmen, they might not have the maturity or strength of stomach for excavating a grave. Besides, Carmen was seeking answers about her past, and Shadowsan had been a part of it almost from the beginning. It would be most fitting for him to accompany her.

If her mother was indeed dead and buried, he supposed that would be the end of Carmen's quest to learn who she was and where she came from. But if there was no body to be found, no proof that her mother was deceased, then she would continue to look for her. This would not be an end, but a beginning.

Shadowsan made up his mind, then, that however her journey went, he would accompany her to the end of the line.