Chapter 1

"Jane listen to me." I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. My heart was still racing from the kisses I had allowed him to give me. Passionate kisses that would have filled my heart with delight had it truly been our wedding night. Instead it was a mockery of it. The firelight, the bed, his body pressing against mine with the evidence of how our immodest actions had affected him it was all too much. I took a deep breath as he stammered and then paused, making sure I was listening.

"We will live as brother and 'd have our separate chambers, come together in the afternoons, for tea, or to play bowls, something sedate and traditional." His voice dropped to a whisper, "I give you my word, I wouldn't touch. Maybe, a chaste peck on the cheek on birthdays. I wouldn't tempt you into a life of sin Jane. I wouldn't do that."

I let out the breath had been holding. His hand was between my own and pressed my lips to it. Foolish man. Dear, dear foolish Edward. I closed my eyes, I felt to refuse outright would be foolhardy at this moment. We were both so feverish. Instead I replied,

"I must rest now." Rising, away from his embrace.

"Yes," He said his voice gentle but disappointed, willing to be patient. I turned and his gaze was one of absolute tenderness. It broke my heart. "Yes you must rest." He stood and I followed him to the door.

"We'll talk in the morning." I promised as I opened it.

"Yes in the morning." His voice had an eagerness to it. He went through the doorway and then turned around. He looked like a small child.

"You will think about the villa?" He asked.

I gave him a small smile, "We'll talk in the morning."

With that I closed the door. As soon as I heard his footsteps retreating down the hallway I sprung into action. With small handkerchief I bound up what little I felt I had rightful claim to. I picked my parcel and felt a small pang at the lightness of it. It would have to do.

I came across the pearls that had been picked for me, that I worn for so short a time. Those were not mine. They were for some extinct breed, killed by truth. I looked to the window. The night was still dark and stood there, waiting, wondering what the merit would be leaving now or waiting for dawn. I would need time to walk and dawn would not give me that. My frayed nerves jumped as I unlocked the door, the click sounding deafening to my ears. I peered out into the dark and saw nothing. Slowly I picked my way down the corridor. I saw and heard no one but as I turned the corner I saw a light spilling out from under the doorway. It was Mr. Rochester's room. I would have to pass it in order to make my way down the stairway. Holding my breath I silently made my way towards the light. As I reached it I paused. I could hear him pacing within.

Oh my Edward, waiting for day to break and he could send for me. My handed glided towards the lock but I drew it back. I stood there frozen as a statue in the pool of light. Behind me lay my room empty and quiet, in front of me lay the staircase, it's opening a yawning mouth of some terrifying beast that would swallow me whole and beside me was the only happiness I had ever known.

If I could have but only a fraction of Samson's strength! My resolve, weakened by the day, lack of rest and food, and terror of the unknown life in front of me, broke. I could not move myself an inch forward. The villa, my supposed Eden, swam before my eyes as tears fell thick and fast down my cheeks. I could not leave.

"God forgive me." My heart cried. I turned, and slowly walked back towards my room. The tears had dried by the time I returned. I stood there for a moment and then steeled myself. I had made the choice. My bed was made and I was to lay in it and so I did. I fell asleep only moments after laying down.

I woke up the next day. The sunlight shone through the window and I could hear the birds singing. I rose, dressed, and waited patiently. The expected knock came and I unlatched the door. It was Mrs. Fairfax. I could see her lips were pressed in a thin line.

"The Master would have you meet him in the drawing room after breakfast."

I nodded, "Thank you, Mrs. Fairfax. I will be down presently."

"Dear child." She began and I looked into her eyes and saw her fear. I lay a reassuring hand on her own.

"All will be well." I said smiling and brushed past her.

I ate quickly. Adele was not at the table with me and when I inquired, was told she had been sent outside with Sophie for the morning. Alone, I ate with ravenous hunger having not eaten anything since the day before yesterday. With my strength returning as did my resolve to see through my decision.

The study door was closed but before I could raise my hand to knock it opened. Mr. Rochester filled the doorway and once he saw it was me, stood back and let me pass inside. He shut the door behind me and I sat unbidden in an armchair. He sat down across from me, his entire being focused on me.

"How are you this morning Jane?" He asked

"I am better sir." I said, folding my hands in my lap.

"Have you, do you-" He stopped stuttering, he seemed terrified to push me further.

"I have thought about it." I said and he leaned forward, "I will go with you to the villa as your sister."

He let out a breath and nodded. "Thank you Jane, yes." He stood and kneeled in front of me.

"I give you my promise." He said taking my hands in his. "I will not tempt you." He turned my hands over and kissed the palms. His head bowed over my lap and then lifted towards me. I reached a hand up and cupped his cheek, my thumb sliding the length of the bone.

"That will be a promise we will both keep."

Mr. Rochester nodded and stood. He held his hand out. "We will start our preparations."

I took his hand and stood. Walking towards the door and my future.