A/N: I wrote this in the 1990's. I am rating it T for the sake of the joke about poison between Hello Kitty and Chococat in her letter to him. I meant for this to go on longer. Let me know what you liked.


A Cynical Day in Licorice Woods

The summer was dwindling to a simmer. There were still many weeks before autumn was in full bloom. At the ChocoChoco House a tea-kettle whistled dreamily, taking our hero, Chococat, away from his fantasies of kite flying, snowman building, and scarfing sweet peppermint leaves with ring-a-ding-pup Bow Wow Cookie, called Cookie for kicks.

Chococat slid down from an almost over-sized wooden table with more spring than feline elegance. Padding over to the stove he lifted the kettle over the chocolate brown tea pot, which he'd already spooned a special blend of cocoa powder and black tea into, just to bring it that kick of caffeine no amount of cocoa can accurately give.

Next to the teapot were all the needed accessories atop a not too colourful tray our hero adored. It was cheery and perky and matched the napkins. (Sanrio spenders may recall the old polka dot theme from the first days of Chococat; that strange stationery that seemed so horizontal. This was the resemblance.)

With ease he tiptoed the tray-full to the table and, sitting on a charming booster seat, enjoyed a brunch of "Chocolate Tea", dream cakes and chocolate cookies sent express from London. Hello Kitty, a respectable gal of opposite gender and colour than our hero, baked goodies often and occasionally pelted the post with a serving for Chococat. He'd just received the package that morning and decided to enjoy the goodies and the letter at the same time.

The letter itself was still sealed and with a handy plastic, not sharp at all, letter opener, and with this he tore the letter open. Pawing at the gay, red card he looked at Hello Kitty waving, smiling (mostly with her eyes,) and holding three balloons of Union Jack colours on the cover of it. Opening the card and biting into a cookie he read the following words:

"G'day matey! (Pekkle taught me that *happy face*)

I hope you enjoy these cookies. I baked them especially for you since I know how batty you are for chocolate. They're slave-labour free and filled with strychnine!"

Here Chococat spluttered any chewed morsels, that he hadn't swallowed, all over the place. With trepidation he cleared up the little mess, the table wasn't a shambles and he could continue his tea if he wanted, which he did after reading:

"Hee, hee! Just seeing if you were listening, Choco. There's no poison in these goodies!"

[Here Chococat thought up a nasty word I've vetoed from the story.]

"It's been raining just enough lately to create the proper atmosphere for baking. I'm sure WinkiPinki is impatient for another box by post from me, but she can kiss my chips and take a number. There's only so much time and so many good folks to get to. She sent me a postcard hinting, you see, and doing it very poorly. Besides, we had an agreement. I'd send another batch of cupcakes AFTER I got the new B*Witched single she promised me. Some peoples' kittens!

Other than my folks at home, you are about the nearest other cat I know of with a sane brain. Hmm, is this really a good thing? *Wink*

"I was giggling with glee over your story about the Pudding Dog. What a character. It's nice to know about new neighbours, though. How is Jelly Bean doing with his sore foot? I can't help but wonder how he got up that tree so high.

"I think I'll bake for Picke Bicke next. Did you know he got nearly six inches off the ground last Tuesday? Bumped into a fire hydrant afterwards, I imagine, and skittered into the main street market. As much as he expressed happy tidings over it, I sensed some bruised ego in his story.

"Well, I'm off. Mimmy wants to shop for back-to-school things tomorrow and we're going over the list this afternoon. Send some more of that tea! It's scrumptious!

Cheerio,

Hello Kitty"


Chococat put the letter down, closed his eyes and listened to the trickling stream not too far from the ChocoChoco House. Then opening wide his mouth he shoved another cookie or two in, smiling with shut eyes and began to purr. Then slurping up the rest of his tea and pouring another cup he looked out the window and just about passed out from sudden fright.

Sigh, Jelly Bean

It was his face pressed up against the window, clearly visible nostril holes. What a dork!

"Come in the door, Jelly Bean." Chococat called, rolling his eyes before the bunny got the chance to see. In hopped Jelly Bean, oblivious as you please.

"You know you're suppose to knock, right?" asked Chococat.

"Oh," said Jelly Bean, "am I?"

"Yeah,"

"Maybe I like rubbing my face against the window more."

"Maybe you like to scare the bejeebies outta little black kitty-cats?"

Jelly Bean drooped an ear, "Oh, sorry Chococat. HEY TEA! Can I have a cup?"

"Yes, you may have a cup of chocolate tea, Jelly Bean." Chococat said, getting another cup and saucer. Chococat poured as Jelly Bean hopped up quick to the next chair. Chococat's eyes wandered over to the bunny while he poured. He put down the tea pot, grabbed a dream-cake off the big goodies plate and shoved it into Jelly Beans' mouth. Shocked, Jelly Bean mumbled.

"What's that, Jelly Bean?" asked Chococat.

"Mmph-mmph-mmph!" retorted the bunny.

"I don't understand you-"

"Mmmph-phmm-mmph!"

"-you've got something in your mouth."

Jelly Bean chewed and swallowed the cake.

"I heard the moon caught fire last night."

"Ahh!" cried the cat. The news behind him was unexpected. It wasn't from Jelly Bean, although the intruder was what Jelly Bean meant to tell Chococat, The Cake Assailant, about. Bouncing from his chair, Chococat went flying, landed on his feet (cats always do) and there was the open door, a red-orange pup and a green collar about its neck with a gold tag reading simply "Cookie Bow Wow".

"Cookie!" Chococat meowed, "is every visitor going to scare me nearly off to the litter box today?"

Cookie was calm if nothing else; blank, blinking. His low voice just about a murmur. "Tell me Jelly Bean, are you blue or gray?"

Jelly Bean flopped an ear down and rubbed it, thinking.

"WHAT'S THIS BUSINESS OF THE MOON BEING ON FIRE?" Chococat demanded, straightening out his whiskers. "I haven't had the slightest news buzzed through my fine antennae."

"Thought you would have been the first to know." Cookie said, "Not too put too fine a point on it, Chococat, you seem a little fretful today. Is anything the matter?"

"Not at all," Chococat snapped. "TEA?!"

"Don't mind if I do." Cookie replied, sitting up to the table and waiting. Chococat trudged off for another cup and saucer.

"Have a cookie, COOKIE." Chococat said, handing him one.

"Don't mind if I do." Cookie repeated the mantra.

"And I don't mind," Chococat thought to himself, "If you don't."

Jelly Bean was still fussing with his ear, looking at it.

"Stop that, Jelly Bean," Chococat told him, "you're blue."

"Actually, I think he's gray." Cookie pronounced.

"Then why ask him if you've made up your own mind?" Chococat countered.

"Want to be sure." Was the stout reply.

They sipped in silence.


A/N: Yep, back about two decades ago, that was as far as I got with a new Chococat adventure possibly entailing all Sanrio characters and getting The Roundabouts to take Chococat and his buddies to The Moon. I never finished it, obviously.

Still, it's a pretty fun collection of events. Let me know what you enjoyed. Peace.