A Silent Conversation
"But not everyone was overjoyed for us. The rest of the Playroom people weren't happy at all with this wedding idea just like I knew they'd be. But I never considered that they might support me the way they did. Even though they are sad to see me go and some of them don't want things to change, they are still giving me their blessing to go get married and live my life. And for this, I have never been more proud of them."
-The introduction to Flashbacks to the Past
*** Note: The following content was taken from the actual notebook the real Playroom people wrote their responses in. Please be respectful because some of them wrote really personal and brutally honest pieces. Detective #52 cannot be held accountable for what is written here.***
Hi Nellie! Its Samantha here and I really wanted to talk to you so Emily suggested this method. I thought we'd give it a try.
This whole wedding idea has sent all my emotions spinning in turmoil. It seems so sudden even though I'm ready to become Eddie's wife. Who would have thought? A hundred years ago this was revolting as well as impossible but now it's actually going to happen.
It's not the wedding itself I'm most scared of, it's what comes after. Eddie and I have never been alone with each other for twenty four hours or more. What if we really cannot stand each other (which we can't) or realize we really do despise each other?
Eddie has left all the details of the honeymoon to me. He wants me to be happy even if I pick a place he hates. It's tempting for sure but I know I could never do that to him. Where should we go? How long should we be gone? Eddie's one request is that we're gone as long as possible with NO and he means ABSOLUTELY NO contact with the Playroom. He said after the honeymoon it doesn't matter how much time I spend on Play Road but the honey moon is his and he doesn't want any stupid distractions with their craziness. Eddie is insistent that after ten years of managing you people I need a real vacation. He is certain our honeymoon is the only way I'm going to get it and I tend to agree. But is it wrong to do that to you and the rest of the Playroom people? Honestly Nellie, what do you think?
I've finally realized that Eddie Ryland is my true love and there is no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life (with even if he can be such a nincompoop at times). I'm ready to leave the Playroom and begin my life with Eddie, but what if the Playroom isn't ready to let me go?
If it were up to Eddie, we would have been married yesterday. But despite how much he wants this, he is willing to wait if that's what the Playroom people want. He really does care about what you guys have to say. Do you think I would marry a man who doesn't?
We are both in agreement (for once) about this. We will cancel the wedding if even so much as one person is really against it.
I know Glogan don't want me to go but they are still willing for it to happen. It kills me to say this, but I can't believe how grown up they are being about this. I have never been more proud of them than I am in this moment.
Eddie and I want to know what they Playroom is thinking. I want to talk to each of them to see how they're doing. Is this a bad idea?
Please respond Nellie, I'm begging you.
Love,
Samantha Parkington
Samantha,
How did Emily get this idea? Who does she talk on paper to?
This wedding is going to be a big change and it's going to be weird, but you're ready, we're all ready. As far as spending more time with Eddie goes, you'll be fine and who knows? Maybe you'll get tired of fighting.
As I see it you have one big question to answer for the honeymoon, Europe or tropical? Before you even plan the rest, you need to pick. It's good to keep your honeymoon private. I'll keep everyone out of your way. Can I write postcards if I choose to? Late June sounds great. It really depends on how it's going. If it's amazingly wonderful, then just write to me to say you're staying longer. It's not wrong to have no contact, just write every week or so.
I think it's good to ask everyone how they feel. Weddings are a big thing and it has everyone thinking about the future (except I hope not Felicity because she'll just travel there to find out).
I, also, am very proud of Glogan.
Sorry I took so long to respond,
Nellie
Of course you can write to me! Just keep it hush hush because if anyone else finds out they'll protest. I was indeed planning on writing a big letter addressed to everyone at least once a week. I'll write privately to you too. Emily was talking on paper to Charles Fredrick George Wilmington the Third. Don't tell Felicity! As far as where we'll go on the honeymoon, I think we'll go to a variety of places. First we'll go European then to the beach and I want to rent a mountain cottage in the Adirondacks (where Piney Point was in 1904). What do you think? Who should I speak to first?
I'll keep it hush hush. Ooo . . . I won't tell Felicity. I love your honeymoon plan. Sounds so romantic. You can talk to anyone but I suggest NOT starting with Glogan or the Bitties, as they are the most upset, but don't end with them either.
Good morning, Molly!
This is Samantha speaking and I would like to talk on paper to you about something important. It's what all the cool cats (Emily & Charles) are doing nowadays. It's important to both Eddie and me that we find out how people feel about the wedding. So, honestly, what are thinking about all of this?
Well Samantha, I think it's about time you recognize what you have and give that poor boy what he deserves. Marry him. I'm not sure how your side of the family will function, but Emily and I can step in. Emily has the good ideas and I can boss people around. I'm just not sure who we can get to be as angry as you. Well, I guess we can go without that for now. I hope you enjoy your new life! Molly
Hey Felicity! Nellie here and me, Samantha, and Eddie, want to know how everyone feels about the whole wedding thing. So be honest – I mean it.
Oh Nellie! One minute I'm sooo happy for them and the next I'm sobbing my eyeballs out like right now. I don't want to be supreme ruler of the Playroom like Samantha is now. I've been crying my eyeballs out all night. Is it possible for someone to cry so much their eyeballs fall out? I think that's happening to me. I don't wanna look like Madame Dolly! I love Samantha. I don't want her to leave. Even though it's a tough love she has for me she's the only one who sorta understands me. She lets me live and have fun but she also makes sure I don't go too crazy. This last vacation we had a taste of life without her and it was PURE HORROR! It was AWEFUL! If she leaves there will be a hole the size of the sun in my heart and in my family too. But she must marry Eddie. I don't want to be the one to kill her happiness after she has worked so hard to give me mine. Tell Samantha yes, she has my blessing. Don't worry about little old me and my endless ocean of pain and sorrow.
Oh Felicity! I didn't know this upset you so much! I know it hurts a lot right now, but trust me, soon we'll replace out tears of "pain and sorrow" with tears of joy for Samantha. You said it yourself. Life without her was pure horror but doesn't that make you feel that since you'll be the oldest you should step up and fix the current horrible mess?
Oh Nellie! My eyeballs are rusting. I'm gonna look like Big D. soon. So you mean I have to be supreme ruler after all? That's sooo much work! I won't have time to live my own life if I'm taking care of everyone else! Is that why Samantha is always so angry? Nellie, you'll have to help me if you're really expecting me to do this. Oh, how I miss her already. Can I tell krakalacapus? I don't think he knows yet.
Felicity, if they're invisible tears your eyes won't rust. I'll help you learn the ropes. Go ahead and tell krakalacapus (that's Charles right?).
Hello Elizabeth,
I hope you're not bitter over the fact I didn't make you a bridesmaid. Speaking of the wedding, what are you thinking and/or feeling about it? Please, be honest,
Samantha
Oh Samantha! I'm going to miss you so much! Once you're gone Felicity might have to step up and I'm the only one who can keep her in check besides you. But you're been doing it so long, it's time you got a break. Some responsibility will do Felicity some good, I think. You have my blessing,
Elizabeth
Thank you, Elizabeth. I really hope you can stop Felicity from destroying everything I've worked for over the last ten years.
Hi Emily! It's Nellie, I hear you do this with Wilmington. What do you think about Samantha and Eddie getting married? I don't have to tell you to be honest.
It's about time! I will miss her of course but she deserves this more than anyone I know besides you. I want Samantha to marry Eddie and not have to worry about us. We have to find a way to prove to her this is possible. We've held her captive here for ten years, its past time she had a chance to live her own life. At the same time though, I'm worried about my own safety here in the playroom. Samantha is the only one who can stop Felicity from tearing me to shreds. I don't know why she doesn't like me. It's not like I ever did anything to her. Is it too selfish of me to be worried about Felicity when we need to prep Samantha for her big day?
I'm glad you're so on board. It's definitely not selfish of you at all. Elizabeth and I and probably Charles with keep Felicity from "tearing you to shreds." I just talked to Felicity, don't tell her I told you, but she's really upset. She's worried about life without Samantha too.
Logan, this is Samantha. I know you're upset about the wedding. How could you not be? You're more of a sister to me than your idiot friend Gwen. Don't tell her I said that. But I want you to know that I'm sooo proud of you for letting me do this. Please, talk to me.
***Note: The following heartfelt conversation between Samantha and Logan has been deleted from these pages as it is has been deemed too personal, private, and only meant for Samantha's eyes. Plus, this detective could find himself terminated by Logan for betraying her confidence. ***
Hey Gwen, it's Nellie. I know you're upset about this wedding thing, but honestly, tell me how you feel.
Honestly? I don't think I'm hurting as much as Logan right now. As soon as she met Eddie I just kinda knew, you know? Why else do you think I made a survey of the future? I wanted to get an idea of what life in the Playroom would be like if something like this happened. Can I tell you a secret? One night last month I saw Samantha come home from being out with Eddie and she was crying. I asked her about it and she said not to worry, that everything was going to be fine. I think she was trying to reassure herself more than me. I poked my head out the door and I saw Eddie standing a little ways down the street. He looked like . . . . like his whole world had ended, like all meaning of the word happy just died. I looked back at Samantha, sobbing silently in her bed muttering about change and life being perfect just the way it was. I took a look back at Eddie and just knew. Before I realized what I was doing, I shook my head ever so slightly and he walked away. I think it's time for Samantha to get married. She has waited a long time to love someone like she loves Eddie. I'll miss her; but it's not like I'll never see her again. She'll still be in the same town, almost on the same street. I think without Samantha we will all be forced to grow up a little. I think it's because she's stayed so long we haven't been able to grow up at all. She's always been there to take care of us. Now we have to take care of ourselves. Isn't that the definition of growing up? Yeah, things won't run as smoothly but that's the way it's supposed to be. This is the Playroom. We thrive on change.
Wow. That was insightful, heartfelt, and mature. Who are you and what have you done with Gwen? I'm just kidding, of course. I'm glad you see things so clearly. And your support is just what Samantha needs. We're both very proud of you two. Don't tell Samantha this, but I've wanted to leave for some time now. I wouldn't run of and get married (who would I marry) but I wanted to go somewhere, do something, but I couldn't leave knowing Samantha has her true love but wouldn't leave the Playroom because someone needs to run it. I can't go now when there's a wedding to plan and Samantha's about to leave; someone needs to help the Playroom through this and everyone is already upset enough about the loss of Samantha. Sorry, I shouldn't unload all this on you when you're already dealing with so much. On another note, you're allowed to be a bridesmaid if you want to, but you don't have to. You can also help Eddie and Logan with renovations to the house on Castle Street if you wish. You don't have to though. If there is anything else you need or want to do let me know. Logan will probably ask you for your help on her half of the speech.
Hey Parker! It's Samantha and I want to know how you feel about me getting married.
Get married, don't get married, I don't really care. It'll just be one less person to boss me around.
Thank you, I appreciate your support. And you shouldn't let the other babies boss you around.
Whatever.
Hi Big D.! It's Nellie. Tell me: how do you feel about this whole wedding idea? And I'm asking Big D. NOT Madame Dolly, so no weird fortunes.
Aw, but Madame Dolly feels different than Big D.! Big D. feels very sad right now. But Madame Dolly is having an "Ah, ha! I told you so," moment. Samantha doesn't affect Big D.'s playroom life very much. She wants to be happy but feels we need another background check on Eddie. However, Madame Dolly knows this isn't necessary. Madame Dolly is very relieved it's not Marie-Grace getting married because she saw something horrible in her future. In Samantha's future with Eddie, Madame Dolly sees lots of bickering, lots of love, and lots of children. She sees Samantha's dreams of happily ever after coming true. Big D. is upset. She is feeling extremely young and vulnerable right now. She isn't ready to lose her older sister. Madame Dolly thinks its past time Samantha left the nest. She has become more of a mother to the Playroom people than a sister. Madame Dolly is warning you NOT to invite the historical family to the wedding because she sees us all in the Supreme Time Travel Government Jail on Samantha's best day. A family feud that last the rest of our lives as well as some brainwashed Playroom citizens will occur if they come. Madame Dolly wants Nellie to leave too but Big D. doesn't want to lose both of her older siblings. Madame Dolly says Nellie should tell Samantha about her dreams of leaving the Playroom but not today because Samantha is already an emotional mess trying to console us all. Both Big D. and Madame Dolly want both Samantha and Nellie to live their dreams of happily ever after.
It's going to be hard for everyone especially to you because you are so young. But you're right in that Samantha should live happily ever after. Why can't I invite her family from back in time? I was really hoping to have Uncle Gard give her away. I'm not leaving anytime soon.
Good, Big D. is happy you're staying. No! Nellie must leave and she will, you just watch. Alright, maybe you can invite them, but use magic so they can't see they're in the future. Get court permission but make sure they don't know Felicity is going to be there. Samantha and Eddie will probably want to come when you invite them. Samantha should definitely come with you.
I'll get court permission, but I'm surprising Samantha. Eddie can invite his own family if he wants to, but we're not telling Samantha. I have it all worked out.
Hi Bitty Q.! I know you've talked on paper to Bitty before. Now tell me what you think about my upcoming wedding.
Is this Samantha?
Yes
The world is ending
Bitty's heart is breaking
Bitty is done
With all her faking
Over the years,
Bitty has lied a lot
Bitty doesn't want to live here
No, she does not
The wall she put up
Of fame, fortune, & fun
Has broken down
It's dead and done
All the plays
All the fun
It was great
But now it's done
I hope you understand
The things I say
All in third person
For you today
What you have just awoken
Is my heart, now it is broken
But Bitty, fun
Will never be done
Not until each and every one of us
Is gone and turned to dust.
Bitty doesn't need to lie
But she needs to tell us why
Where will she go?
Anywhere, she just needs to say so
Bitty please tell us the truth
Don't make me go and sleuth
Whatever you decide, just know how much
I love you & remember it's your hand I'll always clutch
There's something else I need to say
Something you need to hear today
I wasn't done
I've still got left a little fun
I've still got plenty
Smiles and laughter
And I want Samantha
To live Happily ever after
I do not want to tarry
I will go and marry
Someday if I ever do
Have a daughter, I want her to be just like you
Go get married
Live your life
I hope you like the title
Mr. Edward Ryland's wife
Thank you for all you've done
The memories come like a flood
I see you've finally realized
That Eddie's not a dud
Hi Bitty! It's Nellie. I was just wondering how you feel about Samantha's wedding.
How I feel? How I feel?! I feel awful. How could I not? I'm just a baby and the only person who takes care of me doesn't want to anymore. She's going to marry HIM, the boy she says she hates. I don't understand. I just don't understand. She's going off to marry him and she'll have her own kids and forget all about me. who wants a fat, old Bitty who they're not even related to when they could have a cute, new baby of their own. She's going off with him to travel the world, live her life, and have her own adventures without me. It's like how I felt when Marie-Grace first met The Pirate only a thousand times worse than that. Samantha will have so much fun with her new husband she won't want to come back. She says she does but she really doesn't know. She's never been married before. Why do you think I do crazy things? No one cares about me when I don't. Samantha wouldn't do anything with me if I didn't act up, you know? My parents failed at taking care of me, the government failed, the person who adopted me failed, and now the one person who makes the word family come alive and mean something is leaving me.
Bitty, Samantha is still going to see you, she's only moving up the street. No matter how much she says or thinks she hates Eddie Ryland, she doesn't. If Samantha ever does have kids, she won't forget about you. In fact, she'll need you to use how she raised you to help raise her kids. She's known you since the day she came to PFV how could a relationship like that ever be forgotten or replaced? Of course she'll come home to us now and then and if she doesn't I'll drag her there kicking and screaming.
Everyone cares about you Bitty! Crazy or not, we all love you no matter what we say or do. We just express it very well. I care about you Bitty. I think about you all the time, the amazing things you've done and the amazing things yet to come. Yes, Samantha is moving, but that doesn't mean leaving. She'll still see you, love you, and care for you. She'll be there when you need her.
Thanks, Nellie. That's just what I needed to hear. Now let's get this wedding started! I have a few ideas. . . Instead of having the wedding in peace valley, we should have it inside a historical mansion in Rhode Island. The reception should be on the beach. What do you think?
Ooo . . . maybe, I'll have to run it by Samantha.
Hello Cécile! I know we don't know each other very well, but I'd like to talk to you about my wedding. Samantha
What about it?
What do you think? How do you feel? Some people are very upset and others aren't. Be honest and tell me how you really feel.
I am happy for you and I think you deserve this. How do you feel?
What I feel is complicated. One minute I wish the wedding is tomorrow and the next in twenty years. I'm sad to be leaving the Playroom but overjoyed at the fact of being with Eddie. One moment I'm rather pleased with the ten years I put in here and the next I don't want it to end. When I think about the Playroom and the people who live there, I want to cry. But when I think about Eddie and the beautiful future we have together, I want to leap into his arms and never leave. I'm terrified of becoming his wife and what it will mean; the independence I'm giving up and the commitment I will have with him. I'm scared for my family because I'm not sure if I trust them to handle themselves. I'm ready to go home with Eddie as his wife but I'm not sure if the Playroom is ready to let me go. Get married? Don't get married? I'm so confused I don't even know anymore. Sorry to dump this on you when you're supposed to be dumping all your heartbreaking feelings onto me. But then again, you haven't lived here very long and we're not very close so I guess you don't have many feelings to dump.
Samantha, you've worked your butt of for ten years. Don't you want to see all that work used? Don't you want the Playroom to succeed with what you've taught them? Marrying Eddie will be a commitment, but isn't it worth it? You have lived with fifteen other people and you think living with one with take away independence? Get married, we can handle ourselves.
You're right Cécile, of course you are. I'm really going to do it, marry Eddie Ryland. And if I ever do get lonely in my nice, new, spacious, quiet house, I can always come to Play Road for a visit.
Hi Marie-Grace! It's Nellie and I just wanted to touch base with you. How do you feel about the wedding?
Mmm, how do I feel? I'm not really sure. I mean, I've only known Samantha for three years so I'm probably not as devastated as the people who have known her for ten. I know and understand exactly how she feels about Eddie as it's something I myself have experienced with The French Pirate. I see her longing for Eddie even though she sees him every night and almost every day. I believe I am happy for her. She deserves to start living more than anyone else here in the Playroom. She has put more work into helping care for the Playroom to grow and prosper that she hasn't anything left for herself. Eddie deserves this too, especially after being rejected so many times. It's time the Playroom had some change, and besides weddings are just sooo romantic.
It's good to have some positive support!
Oh, Nellie dear, it's your turn. Everyone else has already spilled their guts including me the bride. Now it's your turn. Be honest and relax, I'm not going to cancel the wedding because you tell me something personal. If you have anything to say, I'd rather hear it now before the wedding than after I'm already married.
Can I talk to someone else first?
Yes, pick anyone you're comfortable with except Glogan, the Babies, and Felicity.
Hi Emily! I know I've already talked to you, but Samantha wants me to spill my guts.
I've wanted to leave the Playroom for a little while now. Not like, "I don't want to live here, you people stink," kind of leaving. It's more of a "what's next" and "where do I go from here" kinda thing. Tell me, what do I do here in the Playroom?
I'm not a starring actress
Not the comic relief
I don't save the world
Don't secretly write best-selling novels
Don't write famous plays
I'm not a detective with the perfect boyfriend from back in time
The only time I even boss people around and take care of the Playroom is during vacation. I know this is going to sound weird and, well almost insane, but I want to go back in time. I wanted to grow up and live there. I know I can't but I still think about it.
As for the wedding goes, I'm very happy for Samantha. I want to help her as much as possible and I'm glad that she is finally getting her own happily ever after,
after ten years. I know Eddie is a great guy and that he'll love and cherish Samantha with his whole heart for the rest of their lives but every time I see that boy I think about the past. I know now that's he's a good person, but I can't stop the memories from playing.
I'm really going to miss Samantha; we have a long history together (pun intended). Some things I read today were reassuring and others were heart rendering.
Nellie
P. S. Samantha might as well read this
Samantha! Read from where you finished to here!