Disclaimer: I do not own the Ducks. I only own Bella, Emily, Alex and Jonson. And bobcatwriter owns Annie, Mike, Treban, Ms Gables, and some of the other characters at Lakeside.

January 3, 1998

Adam's POV
I had been quite for week. Check that I had been quite for the last 5 weeks, ever since I found out of my fate going to Lakeside Academy in California on Thanksgiving. I was mad at everyone. I was mad at Gunner and Charlie for keeping this secret. I was mad at Charlie even more because of what he did on Thanksgiving. I was mad at my parents for not fighting Bombay on this issue. I was mad at Bella for everything that she had done to me since before our birthday, when she called me a fag. I was mad at Ollie, Mr. and Mrs McKay and Eleanor Bombay for agreeing that I should go to this academy. I was mad at Dean Buckley and Eden Hall for not stopping this. I was mad at Gordon and Michele for making me go, getting everything arranged and prepared for their move back to California. Most of all I was made at Alex for suggesting this place, in the first place. Every time I went to a therapy session, I didn't speak one single, solidarity word to her. I watched the clock tick by on the endless half hour long sessions with her. I was not a very happy camper, I even sneered at the stranger on the street or in the stores that dared to wish me a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year". I didn't want to go. I sat and sulked in the house as the moving company was loading the belongings to make the cross-country trip, yesterday. We had a flight out to Sacramento, California first thing this morning at 8:30 in the morning.
"Alright you are all set, enjoy your flight," said the ticketing agent that had a bounce in her voice at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.
"HUMPH," I said as I rolled my eyes.
"Come on, Adam. Let's go we are going to miss our flight," Gordon said with a smile on his face and an arm holding one of my arms, Michelle held the other one.
We sat in front of our gate waiting for the flight. Charlie, Casey and Gunnar came to see us off. In fact, Charlie and Gunnar both held me hostage while Gordon went to talk to the gate attendant for our gate. I gave them the mad face each, I was so, so, so pissed at them.
"Now boarding flight American Airlines Flight 2299 non-stop service to Dallas Ft. Worth, gate E13," came a voice over the speakerphone.
"That's our flight, you better say goodbye to Gunnar and Charlie," Michele said.
"HUMPH," I said.
"Take care of yourself, Banks," Charlie said.
"HUMPH," I said.
Gunnar whispered in my ear, "You know I love you. Please be good about this, it's the best thing for you. I vill be vaiting on the other side," Gunnar said then he placed a kiss to my temple.
"Yeah right," I said.
"He speaks, that is the first two words I have heard out of you in five weeks," Gordon said.
"HUMPH," I said as I planted my feet.
"Let's go Adam move your feet," Michele said to me.
Gordon and Charlie had to drag me onto the plane as we neared our seats I had a plan to take the aisle seat so I could bolt just before the flight attendants closed the door to the plane. With any luck I would be thru the airport and on my way to Canada before the plane would take off. Unfortunately, I was the first one in our row of seats, I had the window seat. Which meant that I would have to climb over not only Gordon but Michelle as well to get out so much for that plan. When we landed in Dallas a pair of handcuffs and shackles was applied to my hands and feet.
"What the hell," I said.
"To prevent you from escaping Banksie," Gordon said.
I gave him my mad face. I didn't want to be in shackles and handcuffs throughout Dallas-Fort Worth Airport, waiting for our flight, boarding and going to Sacramento. I didn't have a choice. I felt like I was a criminal, I had those shackles and handcuffs on until we made the four hour car trip to Lakeside Academy on Eagle Lake from Sacramento the next day.
When we pulled up to the academy I saw several other boys from 13-18 arriving at the campus.
"Nice huh," Gordon said as he got out of the car.
"No, nice would be home in MINNEAPOLIS MINNESOTA," I said.
A big burly guy came up to us, "Welcome to Lakeside Academy, I'm Mike you must be Adam, Gordon and Michele."
"Hello Mike, it's nice to meet you" said Michele and then she was pulled into a hug.
"I have to warn you, I'm a hugger," Mike said.
"I'm a shaker or at least I would be if I didn't have these stupid cuffs on me," I said.
"Well come in, come in. Let's get you settled," Mike said as he took my suitcase from Michele's hand and lead her into the building that said residence.
"Don't make me get the pitchfork out, Banksie," Gordon whispered in my ear.
"HUMPH," I said as I was being lead inside.
I figured that Mike at least played college football if not professional football. I towed over him by 4 inches, I was almost 6'3 over his 5'11 but he outweighed me by 150 pounds, with sandy blonde hair. We were led into an Administration office, where Michele and Gordon filled out the paperwork and everything of mine was checked in. Mike introduced us to his wife Annie, she was the total opposite of Mike, slight, skinny and not very talkative. She went through my suitcase and inventoried everything.
"Your room is right here, your roommate is Treban, you'll like him he is a good guy. Our room is right next to the bathroom at the end of the hall. If you have any questions, problems or concerns please feel free to knock on the door, 24/7," Annie said.
"Yeah, just one: How do I transfer out of this chicken outfit," I said.
"BANKSIE!" Michele said.
"Uh huh," Annie said and then she left the room.
There was two closets, two beds, two desks and two dressers. I sat on the bed that had been stripped of sheets. Treban's bed was already made up waiting for his arrival.
"So where do you want clothes, the closet or dresser drawers?" Michele asked.
I didn't say a word. Gordon waved a hand in my face before he said, "Banksie Michele's talking to you."
Michelle and Gordon unpacked my suitcase and set my end of the room up for me. Making sure that my beloved Mike Modano poster was hung with care. Also included where pictures of the ducks, when we had our team photos: The first one was taken just a few days before the playoffs in peewees. The next few were when we were a part of Team USA both in Minnesota and Los Angeles and the last two photos the Eden hall freshman team after our victory against varsity last year and this year's Varsity photo, taken that first week of school, I smiled the smallest smile I could muster when I saw that one, Charlie, Portman, Gunnar and Bella had forced Orion and the Dean to let me be in it. Michele and Gordon put up photos of them, Charlie, Bella and I during Easter break last year. Gunnar had snuck in a photo of himself as well. Once my room was done, Gordon took off the shackles and the handcuffs.
"There your free now," Gordon said.
"Good can I go home? You have made your point, I promise I won't cut again," I said.
"Nope, you have to stay here, and we better get going its a long drive back to Sacramento. You take care of yourself, I'm sorry Adam, but this is what's best for s best for you," Michelle said with tears starting to fall down her face, as she left my room.
Mike had come outside with us to say goodbye to Michele and Gordon. "You take care of yourself. We'll see you in two weeks," Gordon said as he gave me a hug after Michele had.

Soon Gordon and Michele were on their way back to Sacramento.
"This is the hardest part about this program," Mike said as he put a hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah right," I said as I rolled my eyes.
"Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack," came out of a duck.
"Hey Henry this is Adam," Mike said.
"Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, quack, quack, quack," Henry said.
"Ah look at that he's saying hello," Mike said.
I sneered and walked away. Unfortunately, the stupid duck followed me all the way down to the lake, quacking the whole time.
"Get the hell away from me. You stupid duck!" I said.

I didn't speak to anyone at all that first week. When it was my turn to talk to the psychiatrist Dr. Freeman, who looked a lot like Robin Williams. I didn't say a word to him, I stared at the clock. Waiting for him to say well our time is up. The daily schedule was the same: Breakfast, followed by school. Each one of us would be taken out of class at some point to have therapy sessions but either Dr. Freeman or Dr. Marshall. After school we were allowed outside to some activity, then group therapy, homework or free time if you didn't have homework, dinner, chores, a group activity, vespers and bed. Each room had different chores that was changed from week to week. Feeding the Animals and mucking horse barn, taking the trash out, KP duty, cleaning the various areas of the house: Bathrooms, living areas and game room, Entry and hallways, Classrooms and counselling offices, dinning, exercise and music rooms or doing the workshop and other outdoor chores. Which involved scooping the sidewalk and putting down ice melt if it snowed. Being up in the Sierra Nevada Mountains it snowed a lot during the winter. During the summer it would be cutting the grass and attending to the vegetable patch out back.
It was nearly two weeks of me not speaking to Dr. Freeman, I stared at the clock waiting for him to say something. "You know Adam you can stay silent all you want that still doesn't change my opinion of you. But I guarantee something. Eventually you are going to talk, and when you do, we are going to have a long long conversion," Dr. Freeman said to me.
Henry the duck would follow me outside whenever I was outside, quacking annoyingly at me. No matter what I did he just kept at me, trying to get me to talk to him, stupid duck. The only person that I talked to was Gunnar via a letter, I missed him. It's amazing how much inspiration that you would get from Boys to Men in writing that first letter to Gunnar. I let my heart pour out to Gunnar telling him that I was sorry for everything that I had done, I had begged for forgiveness.

GORDON P.O.V:
The two weeks flew by, we were busy signing the rental agreement on a little 3-bedroom bungalow that Michele and I had rented in Yuba City, CA . Settling into my new job for the Goodwill Games committee who was headquarter in Sacramento. The moving truck arrived in California on Thursday afternoon of the first week after a 27-hour 1,900-mile journey . They had broken down in South Dakota and Nevada. We were happy that we could finally move out of the hotel room that we were staying in and live in our new home.
When we arrived at Lakeside Academy that Sunday morning, I noticed that we had the only car in the parking lot. We had met with the Administration Dr. Jeffry Binford, Dr. Freeman and Ms. Gables, Adam's teacher.
"So how's Adam doing," Michele asked.
"Not well, but that is to be expected," Dr. Binford said.
"He's been sullen, moody, not wanting to do chores or school work, not talking and he cry's himself to sleep at night," Dr. Freeman said.
"Did we make the wrong decision," Michele asked.
"No, you made the right decision. This happens with each and everyone of the boys that enrolls here. Usually the first month or two is the hardest for the boys. But we will break thru that icy front he is trying to put on. The thing is that he is going to start asking to come home, probably starting today, when you see him," Ms. Gables said.
"So where is he now?" I asked.
"Right now the house parents and all of the boys are at church, its a requirement that they have to go," Dr. Binford said, "We also wanted to tell you that we have finished diagnosing Adam and he has the following: Anxiety, depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a mild form of Asperger's syndrome. Michele and I were completely floored at the Asperger's."
"When you say, Asperger's what does that mean?" I asked.
"It means that he has problems with social interactions, its largely inherited, very common." Dr. Freeman said.
"But he has normal language and intelligence, I know I tutored him and his teammates 4 years ago," Michelle said.
"Yes he does, he has above average of intelligence and language skills for a boy of his age. His problem is the social interactions. He doesn't want to talk to no one, or do anything to be of help," Ms. Gables said.
"So what does this mean, will we be supporting him for the rest of our lives," I asked.
"No that is not the case. We believe that he is very high functioning level of autism. Meaning he will be able to go to work and keep a job, its the social interaction that he has problems with and he tends to have outbursts at times. Many of the staff had caught him screaming and yelling at the resident duck trying to get him to get away from him. He will go on to live a completely normal life," Dr. Binford said.
The minute that the van's arrived from the church, Adam was one of the first boys off the van and ran over to us and nearly tackled Michele to the ground.
"Oh Adam it's good to see you," Michele said.
"I am sorry for everything. I am so much better, can we go home, please?" Adam asked.
"Stay strong Gordon," Michele whispered to me.
"I'm sorry Adam but no. We love you too much not too see a completely 100 percent healthy Adam," I said.
"THIS SUCKS! YOU STILL PUNISHING ME JUST BECAUSE I'M GAY? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO PUSH ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE TO MAKE ROOM FOR THAT THING?" Adam yelled pointing at Michele's baby bump.
"No Adam that isn't true you know that. We love you as much as we do the baby. We want to see you healthy were we don't have to worry about you 24 hours a day," Michele said.
"THAT'S SUCH A LOAD OF BULL, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU. I WANT TO GO HOME, PLEASE CAN'T WE GO HOME?" Adam yelled.
"No Adam you are here for the duration of your program and that is the final word," I said.
"I am going to lose Gunnar, I can't believe that your punishing me like this," Adam said.
"Adam this is not a punishment, come on lets go for a walk, there has to be something good about this place," Michele said.
We felt bad about leaving Adam behind when Parents day was over. Michele cried for a good 45 minutes after we had left the Academy. I asked God to help Adam see the light, if anybody could do it; he could.

ADAM P.O.V:
I couldn't believe Gordon and Michele for driving off like they did. I wanted to go home, I was pretty ticked off at them for not letting me go home.
"Hey Adam," Treban said to me; I said nothing.
"Look there's something that I have to get off my chest." I looked at him, "Are you really gay?" Treban asked. Again, I said nothing.
"Look I think it's cool, my uncle is gay, and my family doesn't have a problem with him," Treban said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yep, had his partner for like 20 years. I call him my aunt Frank," Treban said.
"What about you?" I asked.
"I'm not gay, I have a girlfriend Molly," Treban said he then went over to his cork board and retrieved a picture of her. "This is her, it's from last year's Sadie Hawkins dance at our school," Treban said. Molly was good looking, she was very pale as opposed to Treban's dark skin, they looked cute together. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Treban asked.
"Yeah, Gunnar at least I did. I don't know where we stand. I was fairly mad at him for everything that happened," I said.
"Let me guess he kept a big secret from you?" Treban asked.
"Yeah this place, told me as he said goodbye that he loved me, and he will be waiting on the other side for me. I gave him the brush off. I sent him a letter of apology a week ago, but I haven't heard anything, but I sorta kept a secret from him as well," I said.

"Do you have a picture of him?" Treban asked.
"Yeah," I said and then I grabbed Gunnar's picture off my cork board and showed it to Treban, "That's him."
"Where are you from originally, Michigan?" Treban said after looking at Gunnar's picture for two or three minutes.
"Minneapolis Minnesota," I said.
"He's good looking. Look I would not get to bent up about not hearing something from him, yet. The letter is probably still trying to get there. The mail is notoriously known for being slow," Treban said.
"I hope that is it and that he hasn't found someone else. If he had I would die," I said.
"I'm sure of it," Treban said. "Who are the others of?"

"That's my sister, Bella and my best friend Charlie. That's my older brother, Ollie he lives in France. My guardians Ms MacKay and Coach Bombay. Then that's all my hockey team's…" I trailed off when I saw one more of the photos on the wall. The one Charlie said Bella had found, of us and Dad.

We heard the dinner bell. "Well let's go eat, I'm starving," Treban said as he put his picture of Molly back on his dresser. "Go on I will be right there," I said. After Treban left I told Gunnar's picture that I hoped Treban was right, that you hadn't gotten the letter yet. I then kissed the picture it wasn't the same but still it felt good to get a release out of me. I still cried myself to sleep that night, but it wasn't as long as it usually was.

A/N: First of all thank you to bobcatwriter who practically wrote this chapter, absolute legend. What do you think so far? Ideas? Let me know in the reviews and if you have any questions just PM.