Chapter 1

Sitting on a bench with my legs tucked under, I was observing the busy street below. Though it was evening and the sun had just disappeared, I saw people everywhere. Some walking the pavements in a relaxed way and enjoying the cool dusk, some hurrying and heading towards God knew where, and some just standing and watching their lives getting wasted. Just like me.

I hadn't moved for a very long time and my legs were starting to feel numb. I didn't know why I decided to escape and hide on my friend's balcony but there I was – silently watching everything around me and not letting myself break down. Because if I had, it would be the end.

Facing the truth that cool July night made me shiver for the hundredth time since the moment I came here half an hour ago.

I was a complete zero. At twenty-three, I had absolutely nothing. No job, no money, no flat, and no man. Still living with my parents had become my worst nightmare yet I was unable – or maybe unwilling – to cut the cord and start my own life. Well, it wasn't like I didn't love them. I did, very much, but sometimes in life there is this moment when you have to take a chance and leave your family home to create something that is only yours. Sadly, I wasn't brave enough to do it.

Every damn week I was sending endless e-mails and CVs to endless kinds of companies and firms and there was always the same answer – silence. No one ever bothered to call me back or even reply to those e-mails. No one. I knew I was one of the many people searching for a job but surely there had to be a free position for me. After all, I had a human resource management degree and, according to the college website, I possessed everything I needed to start a dizzying career in HR. Yeah, right.

When it came to relationships… I sighed. I was truly a complete zero.

"What's the matter with you?" a familiar voice asked, startling me. I looked up and saw Tyler's smiling face. "I was looking for you the whole time. Paula made her famous 'Sex on the Beach' but you were nowhere to be found. Girl, I'm worried. Talk to me." I watched Tyler sat next to me and slung his arm across the back of the bench. Then he faced me.

I didn't know what to reply. His handsome face was full of worries, though he was trying to hide it from me. I had known him since uni and we'd grown fond of each other over the years but there were still things I just couldn't talk about – neither with him, nor with Paula, his girlfriend. Things like relationships, personal problems… and wasting my life.

"There's nothing to talk about," I said, going back to observing the street below. "I suppose I'm just tired. That's all"

Tyler frowned. "You know you can talk with me about everything. With me or Paula. Even about that prick–"

"I don't want to talk about him," I hissed and turned to him. "You are my best friend and mean the world to me but messing with my love life is far beyond your duties as a friend."

Tyler rolled his dark eyes but said nothing.

"Everything's fine. I promise, Ty." And to emphasised that I managed to smile. A bit.

"I see."

We both knew I was lying but none of us wanted to say that aloud.

Inhaling deeply the cool air, I looked at the night sky. Instead of having a strongly and loudly beating heart, my chest was simply empty. Sometimes, while looking in the mirror, I was almost sure I saw a dark irregular spot where it was supposed to be. The only person responsible for that was me – me and my stupidity.

"It's just… I'm still looking for a job and no one's interested in employing me," I admitted, sounding somehow resigned. Well, that wasn't the entire truth but it was the first thing that came to my mind. At least, that was one of my many problems.

Tyler was immediately alerted by my voice as he asked, "Have you contacted some employment agencies?" I nodded. "Hey, then I'm sure that you'll find something in September," he said smiling at me. "They usually don't give a shit about anything during summer, so no worries, mate. You'll get your dream job."

"Thanks. Oh boy, what would I do without you?" Suddenly I realised that I did feel better than before as I was filled with teeny weeny gleams of hope. Maybe I will find a job after summer, I thought flashing him a smile. Maybe I will finally stop being a complete zero.

"I have no idea." He laughed. "It seems to me that I'm the only person capable of bringing sense to your life. And the only boy that you truly love."

"God, stop it, Ty," I said looking over my shoulder. "Have you completely lost your mind? If Paula hears that… I'm sure she'll kill me. Without hesitation."

"Nope. She loves you as much as I do. So she'll never hurt you. Never ever," he assured me.

My only response was a sigh.

"Ah, there you are." Paula's voice frightened me so much that I almost jumped. "I've been worried about you, sweetie. Ty," she flashed him an irritated look, "was supposed to find you and bring inside. Yet you are still here. With him."

"Darling, I was in the middle of wiling her inside when you interrupted me."

Paula approached us and sat on Tyler's lap. "I don't know which is worse. You using the verb 'wile' or Amanda literally killing Janelle Monáe's song," she grunted and made a wry face. "This is horrible. I can even hear it here."

I laughed. "I'm sure she doesn't know how she makes us feel. Or else she wouldn't be doing it."

My thinly veiled allusion to the song's title made them both giggle. We had been listening to the song for months now and were all sick and tired of it. Amanda, our friend, was a big fan of Janelle Monáe and tortured us with her songs every time we met at a house party. She insisted even on singing only her songs during karaoke evenings we had every three weeks. But the worst thing was Amanda's voice – a high-pitched shriek which Ty defined as screeching of the tyres.

"Well, few more minutes and we go inside. I know it's lovely and quiet in here but that's not why we all came to our little eclipse party." Paula put her arm over Tyler's neck. "I really want to see that blood moon. How much longer?" She looked at him.

"How should I know?" He shrugged. "You know," he said to me, "she's been talking about it since last week. Talking, watching documentaries and reading pseudo-articles online. Literally everything about that bloody moon. Mark my words," Tyler raised his finder, "if she doesn't get a job at NASA, then I'm sending her to them." Paula smacked him on the head. "Hey! What was that for?" he yelled. moving his head away from her hand.

"You want to get rid of me?" she asked. "After so many wonderful years together, you want to kick me out?"

"I didn't say that."

"No but you thought about that."

"No, I didn't."

She glared at him.

"Darling," Ty whispered, "you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that I've ever known. I'm not an idiot, I know how the world works. You jump, I jump remember?"

I watched Paula's expression. The anger in her eyes immediately disappeared when she heard a line from her favourite tearjerker and I was sure as hell that she wanted to cry. After all, my friend was a romantic. All she needed were roses and candlelight and she would be in heaven in a heartbeat.

Suddenly, Paula breathed his name and kissed him passionately. There you go, I thought.

"I'm still here, you know," I reminded them. My best friends ended their kiss and looked at me as if they forgot about me still sitting next to them. I smiled. "Right where you left me three seconds ago."

"Sorry for that," Tyler apologised. "We were just–"

"Hey. That's fine," I interrupted him, still smiling. "Besides, it wasn't the first time from what I remember." I laughed when Paula blushed and glanced at Tyler. "Anyway, Paula, why did you come here?"

"Oh, right." Paula stood up suddenly looking nervous. "I've completely forgotten. Dinner's ready." She hurried to the glass door which was leading to their living room.

"Why haven't you told me the second you came here?" Tyler asked and got up.

"Just get inside," she grumbled but didn't even look at him. Then she entered the room.

Tyler sighed. "Women." My friend winked at me and slowly approached the door. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah, sure." I followed him inside.