Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I reference episodes of Star Trek Voyager here. I also don't own that show.

Thanks to Starway Man and deiticlast for beta-reading and creative consultancy.

This chapter touches on Willow dealing with questions of her own orientation, as she waffles between various questions of how to identify her own feelings regarding Tara in particular and people of her own gender in general, et cetera.

To be clear, in this fanfic, Willow is gay, as she is in canon (to my reading of the source material anyway), but at this point in time she's still trying to understand her feelings; She considers the possibility that she might be bisexual, during this chapter. She doesn't come to a conclusion here, but like I said, in this fanfic, she is gay.

This chapter wasn't meant to quite focus on what it did, but, hey, things happened.

Iron Coin Chronicles: Silver Summer

By Kylia

Installment 4

May 29th, 2000

6305 Westminster Place, Sunnydale

From what Buffy had said, adapting to living at the Summers residence again over the summer hadn't exactly been super easy, after nine months of living in the dorms.

Like having to get used to arranging her schedule around her mother, rather than her roommate, living in her old bedroom and having to do chores and stuff since she was living there, et cetera.

Nothing out of the ordinary, compared to pre-college life - but still, an adaptation.

For Willow, on the other hand, there wasn't much adaptation required. Her parents had been out of town for most of the last twenty-five days, and Willow doubted they'd be in Sunnydale for more than twenty-five days total for the entire summer. Book tours, lecture circuit and all that.

So moving back home didn't mean she had a whole lot more parental involvement in her life than she had before.

Not that I ever got much attention from them the last couple years anyway, before I went off to college. With plenty of money set aside to cover the bills and pay for food and stuff, Willow was left pretty much to her own devices. And without schoolwork to busy herself, Willow had a lot of free time, when she wasn't helping Buffy on patrol or hanging with her friends somewhere in town or at their houses.

When she was at home, rather than spending time with her friends elsewhere in Sunnydale, Willow spent a lot of time reading ahead for the classes she was taking next semester, practicing her magic - and sometimes she had Tara, Amy or both of them over for that, when they all had time - and occasionally, she even watched a movie rented from the local video store.

Willow had been expecting Tara to go home for the summer, and had been prepared to just write letters and do phone calls, but as it turned out, Tara had continued to rent her dorm room from UC Sunnydale, and would still be in town all summer. Willow had been surprised - but very happy - to hear that, though after she'd had time to reflect, she didn't actually find that revelation as surprising as she had at first.

While Tara had spoken very little about any member of her family other than her late mother, from what little she had said - and more importantly, hadn't said - Willow could guess this much about the nature of her friend's relationship with her father and brother: it was bad. Very bad.

Willow hadn't pushed on the subject, knowing it was Tara's to share if and when she wanted to.

But the upside was that she got to spend more time with Tara.

Since accepting and coming to terms with the fact that she liked Tara - liked her that way, and her little chat 'with' Oz at his gravestone...

Well, Willow had still been left with the fact that Tara didn't have the same interest in her. Or at least, Willow wasn't willing to risk their friendship to find out. She kept torturing herself with the possibilities, though - feeling connections through her bond with the other witch that sometimes felt like maybe, just maybe Tara might feel something similar for her, but...

It's just wishful thinking.

That's what she told herself, and it made sense.

Willow had had a harder time sorting out her own feelings beyond just Tara, and while she knew the best solution was to just accept it and go with the flow, give her time to sort it out naturally, - well, she had never been one to just... let things sort themselves out naturally. Never been one to leave things well enough alone.

She knew this, and Willow also knew she should stop analysing this over and over again, but she couldn't. And so, like she usually did when she didn't understand something, she'd researched. Using books from the local library, researching online - and of course, trying to avoid all the pornography that came up when you tried to search for the words 'lesbian' and 'bisexual' amidst more useful search results.

And if Willow ever stopped and looked at some of those less useful results, it wasn't something she'd ever admit, not even under torture.

She hadn't settled on anything, but it had given her tons to think about, and made her think about a lot of things that had happened before...

But Willow still couldn't understand it, still couldn't make sense of it all, and so...

She didn't have any answers yet. But she kept trying to figure it out.

Willow was sure of this much - she wanted to kiss Tara. Sometimes - and she flushed hotly, even as she thought about it - the thought of maybe doing more than kissing even crossed her mind. And yet... she'd loved Oz. Still loved Oz. And... she had enjoyed having sex with him.

A lot.

But, when she thought about it, and really tried to approach it rationally, apart from her many years long crush on Xander, how many other guys had she been attracted to? And intellectually, she wondered whether her crush on Xander had been that sort of 'safe' crush she'd read about in some of the discussions she'd read about people's own experiences identifying their orientations.

Ugh. The whole thing was very confusing.

She was interrupted from her thoughts by the sound of the oven timer going off, and hurriedly, Willow stood up from the couch and moved quickly to the kitchen, turning off the oven and grabbing an oven mitt before pulling a tray of cookies out.

They smelled delicious, and she set the tray on the stovetop to cool. She was just starting to take them off the tray a few minutes later, when the doorbell rang. Willow looked at the clock -

Wait, it's already three?! Then she realized, no, it wasn't, it was 2:51 p.m. Tara had probably just arrived early.

She hurried off to the front door, not realizing she was practically running until she got to the front door. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This is just inviting a friend who has never seen Star Trek over to watch some of your favorite episodes of Voyager. She liked all the Star Trek shows, but Voyager was probably her favorite of the franchise - not just because Janeway was a great character and captain, but because of Janeway's background as a scientist, and then there was Seven of Nine, plus the Doctor. Not to mention Neelix, and all the strange faces and places of the Delta Quadrant, and Tuvok...

Willow shook her head before she just started listing off everything about Voyager - she loved it all - and opened the door.

Tara was standing there, wearing a blue blouse and a long skirt that was sea-green and blue and regular green all at once, the whole thing shimmering and catching the sunlight quite prettily. In her hand, Tara was holding a to-go carrying tray from the Espresso Pump, with two drink cups in it.

"Tara, hey!" Willow smiled, stepping aside to let the other girl in. She stepped into the doorway, and smiled at Willow - hiding her face behind her hair a moment in that soft, shy, adorably cute way Tara did when she was unsure and -

Willow, get a grip on yourself! You're acting like Xander got around Buffy, back during sophomore year! Even as the thought passed through her head, Willow suddenly had more sympathy for his antics. Some, anyway.

"Hey," Tara said, voice soft. "I - I got you your favorite." She picked one of the cups out and handed it to Willow. "Vanilla Hazelnut Latte with a shot of espresso, no extra sweeteners, and soy milk instead of regular milk."

Willow stared at Tara for a moment, and then giggled slightly. "You've only seen me order coffee once or twice. I'm surprised you remembered," she admitted.

"It's hard to forget the look on your face when you drink it," Tara explained, her smile getting a little broader for a moment.

Willow felt her cheeks flush briefly- and then, before she entirely realized what she was doing, she hugged Tara, arms around her, chin on her shoulder, holding her for a moment.

The moment quickly stretched out beyond two Mississippis as they stood there in front of the open door. Willow didn't pull away, and after some small hesitation, Tara returned the hug, the feeling of Tara's hands on her back sending an almost electric sensation across her spine. Quite honestly, Willow couldn't bring herself to break the hug, even as it lingered.

Hugging Tara felt...

It felt right.

Tara's body and hers, they felt like they were fitting together like some -

Hey! A small, flagging, rational part of Willow's mind seemed to yell at her, and Willow realized that the hug had stretched on for too long to be merely one of platonic friendship. Hurriedly, she pulled back, flushing, trying - and failing to stammer out an apology, looking away, not seeing Tara's face.

After several seconds of incoherence, Willow cleared her throat and shook her head a little, mortification still leaving her cheeks red, like she'd just been running in the middle of a cold and windy day.

"Right, I - sorry," Willow apologized again. Then she pointed, "Living room is this way." She returned herself to the topic at hand. "I picked out some of my favorite episodes of my favorite Trek show - Voyager. It - all the Trek shows are good, even the animated series, but Voyager is my favorite," Willow explained.

"There's more than one Star Trek?" Tara blinked, following Willow into the living room. A small collection of VHS tapes, containing recorded episodes of Voyager, sat next to the TV.

"Yup," Willow still couldn't understand how Tara had ever managed to live twenty years and never once watch any Star Trek, but when she'd found that out, she'd invited Tara over to correct that deficiency. She was pretty sure Tara would like it - Tara wasn't as into science as she was, but Willow was still pretty sure her blonde friend would like the show, and its themes and messages and the characters.

"There's the Original Series - that's Spock and Kirk and all the classic stuff, in the Sixties, and they made some movies after that. Then there's The Next Generation show, which started in the late Eighties, and it's good too, same style of show, pretty much the sequel to the original. Then Deep Space Nine and Voyager, which are kind of different shows - but still just as good." Willow set her coffee down on a coaster, and set one out for Tara to put her tea onto.

"Just don't try telling anyone online that their favorite one isn't the best," Willow added, cautioning Tara. "It... it tends to start fights."

Tara sat down on the couch and set her tea onto the offered coaster. "I... I don't go online much - everyone's spelling kinda depresses me," she admitted softly, and Willow couldn't help but smile at that - the terrible spelling online was one of her pet peeves, too. "But... I do know people like to fight there. A lot."

"Someone is always fighting with someone else on the Internet, it's gotten especially bad in the Usenet newsgroups," Willow agreed. A smell coming in from the kitchen reminded her - "The cookies!" She hurried out of the living room. "Be right back!" She finished removing the cookies from the tray and took the plate into the living room. "I baked cookies," she explained. "If there's something else you want, I can grab -"

"No," Tara said, flushing a little as she interrupted. "This... they smell good," Tara added. She reached for the plate and Willow nodded. Tara took one of the cookies and bit into it. She closed her eyes a moment as she swallowed the piece of cookie - still kind of gooey and chewy, then opened her eyes and smiled at Willow.

"Tasty," she took the plate from Willow and set it down on the coffee table between them,

"I'm glad you like them," Willow said, very pleased Tara seemed to enjoy the cookie as much as she was. She then went over to the tapes. "Like I said, Voyager is my favorite, and I picked some of my favorite episodes," The Raven, the Omega Directive and Dark Frontier. All in Seasons 4 and 5, so kind of diving pretty far in, but she wanted to share what she was pretty sure were the best parts of the show with Tara first.

The early episodes can be a little slow. Always seemed to take a Trek show at least a few episodes, if not more, to really get going.

"But they're all a few seasons in. I can get the first episode if you want," Willow offered.

Tara seemed to weigh the decision a moment, then sipped at her tea and shook her head. "No. I - I want to see your favorites. We can go back to the start later," Tara suggested. She looked away a moment, then back to Willow, seeming almost nervous, but Willow couldn't see why. "You really like Star Trek - it's a part of you, and I'd like to know that part too. Why not with your favorites?"

Willow looked at the ground, biting her lip as she felt her cheeks get hot for no good reason. She's not flirting with me, she's just - she's just being nice and a friend and... so unfairly perfect!

"Okay," Willow smiled back, happy to get to share with Tara. "So... the whole premise of Voyager is that there's this ship - called Voyager, naturally - that gets stranded 70,000 light years away from Earth due to an accident." She waved a hand, "It's a long story. But even with all their technology, a trip like that would take 70 years normally, so the whole show is about the characters trying to find shortcuts on their way home and deal with the dangers and opportunities in unexplored space and everything. The crew spends all their time together, so they become a family."

"Kind of like you and the other Scoobies?" Tara suggested.

"Exactly!" Willow agreed, grinning, then she added. "You're a Scooby too now, Tara, you know that - right? Everyone thinks you're great, and you - I mean, you helped us stop an apocalypse." She grabbed the tape she was looking for, an old recorded one - she had some recorded herself, and some she'd bought the official tapes, depending on what she hadn't been able to record. "And anyone who does that gets to call themselves a Scooby."

"I..." Tara started, then she bit her lips and flushed a deep red for a moment, clearing her throat. "Thank you," she said, soft enough that it was almost a whisper.

Willow pushed the tape into the VCR and walked over to the couch, sitting next to Tara as the tape started. She fast-forwarded past the tail end of an episode of whatever had been airing before this episode of Voyager, and paused right before it started as something else she should explain occurred to her.

"So... I should probably clarify one more thing," she added. "Well, two, actually. This episode - all three I picked - they'll feature this character, Seven of Nine, pretty prominently."

"Seven - Seven of Nine?" Tara blinked, sounding like she was sure she'd heard wrong.

Willow nodded, "I know, I know it sounds weird, but - Seven is a human when she was just a kid, she was captured by these aliens called the Borg. And they're..." she paused, trying to think of the best way to explain the Borg. "Well, they're great TV villains, but how to explain, um... The Borg are like an... insect hive mind, but with alien technology." She explained, trying to find the right ways to summarize it. "They 'assimilate' other species into the collective, and they're all sorta... one mind. No individuality or anything," she summarized. "Drones don't have names, just... designations."

Tara swallowed, "That... that doesn't sound very good." She sounded a little afraid - or probably just a bit disturbed by the idea. But then, the Borg were pretty creepy and disturbing - even if it made for great ratings on TV, and a very successful Trek movie.

"It's not. Like I said, they're - they're bad guys in the show," Willow added. "Seven used to be one of them, but the Voyager crew rescued her. Only problem is, she was assimilated really young, so she doesn't really remember much about how to be human anymore. A lot of her story is learning about it all from the ground up, and remembering her past and learning how to put life as a Borg drone behind her."

Tara frowned, "So the good guys in the show... they just took her away from the only home she ever knew?"

Willow nodded. "I know... that sounds bad. But- they didn't have a choice!" Willow quickly added. "It was the only way to stop her from handing the ship over to the Borg..." Well, that was a bit of an oversimplification - but also still pretty true, in effect. "The Borg stole her from her family first, from her own people and they just... used her," Willow explained. "But it does take time for her to really accept that. You'll see."

Willow pressed play on the remote, and unconsciously, she scooted a little closer to Tara as the episode started, opening with Janeway and Seven in the Holodeck simulation of Da Vinci's workshop, Janeway talking Seven through regarding the clay bust they were working on and the need for... relaxation. For hobbies and stuff. 'Fantasy', Janeway said.

As the episode continued, at first Tara seemed unsure - but the longer the TV show went on, the more engrossed she was getting into it. Willow smiled as Tara seemed to really be getting into it - the scene near the end, when Seven and Tuvok came to the ruins of her parents' ship, and she finally understood the flashbacks, remembering what happened had Tara leaning forward, tensed a little, and Willow put a hand on her shoulder.

"It works out," she assured the blonde witch. "Do you want me to pause it?" Willow then asked, worrying something about it was upsetting Tara, but Tara pressed her finger to her lips to shush Willow and looked back at the screen.

Okay, so she's definitely gotten into it. Willow turned back to the screen, not really noticing that she still had her hand on Tara's shoulder. Finally, they got to the end of the episode, the last scene back in the da Vinci simulation, with Seven and Janeway.

Even having seen this scene like, a dozen times, and knowing that there was nothing romantic there - the writers would never let two women get together on prime time TV, and even if they came up with such an idea, all those jerk corporate executives at the network and production company wouldn't let it happen anyway - Willow felt her shipper's heart swell at their conversation.

Finally, the episode was done, and Willow stopped and began to rewind the tape.

"So, what did you think?" Willow asked, curious.

"It was... it was interesting. Are all the episodes like this?" Tara asked.

"No, no. There's so many different episodes that do so many different things. But they all get pretty contemplative and philosophical," Willow explained. "There's a lot of deep stuff going on in every episode." She chuckled, "So, of course, what I do is spend most of my time shipping Janeway and Seven." Not that she didn't think about the other themes and care about the other characters, but still.

Tara blinked and stared at her like she'd spoken in some unknown language. "Shipping?" She blinked again, opened her mouth, then shut it.

Willow laughed, rubbing the back of her head ruefully. "Right, you don't know what that is..." she flushed a little. Shipping was a very, very nerdy thing to do - even Xander didn't really do that, and he liked Star Trek almost as much as she did (though he liked Babylon 5 more).

"Shipping is, uh... when you're really into the idea of two characters being in a relationship together," Willow explained, biting her lip a little. "To 'ship a couple is to want to see them get together, or even... read stories - usually online - that fans write about them getting together, and so on," Willow explained. "And I ship Seven and Janeway." She smiled and laughed softly again. "Pretty much ever since I saw this episode, actually."

Tara furrowed her brow in confusion as Willow explained, then nodded slowly, looking back at the rewinding episode on the TV. "You want to see those two be together… in the romantic sense?"

"Yeah, I do. I mean, I knowthe stupid network executives would never let it happen because homophobia, but yeah. I... I dunno. I just think there's an interesting story, and a lot of possibilities, there. Janeway's already doing a lot to help Seven get used to her new reality, her new sensations and feelings..." Willow trailed off. "And then - I mean, that scene, there at the end - there's just so much potential there, between the characters."

Tara actually smiled as she looked over at Willow, watching her for a moment, then her expression seemed to fall for a split second before the smile was back. Willow was almost wondering if she'd imagined it entirely.

"I...I suppose I can see it, now that you mention it," Tara mused. "So, it's the possibilities you're interested in? The story that could be there?"

"Exactly!" Willow explained. "Shipping is all about finding a story in the relationship, one that speaks to you. With fanfiction - that's where fans write stories based on the show, like I mentioned before, and post them online for other fans to read. They can be about anything, but I personally like to read the ones about Seven and Janeway forming a relationship, all the challenges they'd have to face, the growth they'd have together as characters. Seven learning about and understanding love and..." Willow trailed off, staring off into space, her voice having softened. "It's just... I guess I really like the potential romance of it all." She cleared her throat and looked back at Tara.

"Sorry, I'm probably boring you - I didn't mean to -"

"Willow, you don't need to apologize. I... I like hearing about the things you like. And this... this shipping thing..." she bit her lip, "It sounds interesting." Tara paused a moment, and then added, "I have some books... books that are... um..." She bit her lip and flushed.

"Romance novels?" Willow hazarded a guess.

"Yeah," Tara nodded, letting out a small sigh of relief. "And... that romance is... between women. If - if you think there's a romantic story you like between those two - then, maybe you might like some of the books I have? I could lend them to you, if you like?"

Willow's chest felt tight, and she swallowed. I know I have a crush on her, but... she could help me with all this, right? Feeling like I... like I might be gay or bi? I mean, there's always Faith or Amy, but Faith's suggestion would probably be a sex variant on 'Want. Take. Have.' and... well, I could also talk to Amy, I suppose, maybe.

But still. It hadn't even occurred to her to ask if Tara had any further reading on being gay, or women liking women or anything like that, fiction or otherwise.

Willow didn't realize she'd been staring silently for a prolonged period until Tara spoke, quiet and hesitant.

"No, sorry, that was a silly -" Tara started to say, flushing and looking away again, but Willow quickly interrupted her.

"No, no, it wasn't silly. At all. I would love to read them!" Willow assured her, squeezing her hand on Tara's shoulder very lightly. "I'd love to read books you like. I want to get to know you better, too. And if you think they have stories kind of like Janeway and Seven's, then I'd definitely love to give those books a look."

Tara bit her lip and nodded. "I'll bring some over sometime, then? Or you could come by?"

"Both sound good," Willow agreed. "So. Do you want to watch more episodes?"

"Yes, please," Tara agreed, immediately. Willow grinned and got up to put in another tape, this one containing "The Omega Directive".

She returned to the couch, and as the episode went on, Willow, unconsciously, found herself drifting closer and closer to Tara. It wasn't until the episode ended finally that Willow realized she was practically pressed against Tara's side, her body against Tara's arm, her hand close enough to touch Tara's with just a tiny drift to the side.

Willow's fingers brushed against Tara's and she felt that electric thrill and that feeling made her realize what was happening, that she was practically snuggled against Tara.

"Oh! I -" Willow pulled back, slowly, reluctantly, wishing she could do more. "I... I didn't mean to like... invade your personal space and-"

"It's fine, Willow," Tara said, flushing deeper than Willow had ever seen her. "I - I don't mind." She looked away for a moment, taking a breath.

To Willow, it looked like Tara was just salving her feelings, but she didn't say anything about that. Instead, she grabbed one of the last cookies and took a bite, swallowing it before changing topic.

"What did you think about that episode?"

"It was... interesting. Really interesting," Tara admitted. "This... particle. Omega - powerful, and perfect, but dangerous. It made me think about magic." As she often did, Tara's voice was much more clear and confident than normal when speaking about magic.

"Magic?" Willow raised an eyebrow. "I mean... I suppose I can see it, but... Omega is always dangerous -"

"And so is magic, if you lose control of it." Tara cautioned. "Like... like with Amy's mom." Tara knew the story of Catherine Madison, or at least the highlights. Probably the only person other than Amy who knew all the details of being raised by that crazy, narcissistic... poopyhead was Faith.

Really? That's the best you can do? Willow mentally admonished herself for that - Cathrine Madison was a lot worse than a 'poopyhead', but she couldn't bring herself to use worse, even in her own head.

Willow wasn't the psychology expert her parents were, but she knew enough to know that Amy's mom had been the most textbook case of a narcissistic abusive parent she'd just about ever heard of.

"We can't blame magic for that, not really," Willow protested. "Mrs. Madison was just... awful, always. Even without magic, she was - pretty terrible to her own daughter!"

"You don't need magic to be..." Tara swallowed. "To be a bad parent, but... Willow, once you start using magic as nothing but a... a tool, and not a thing of power to be respected... it's..." Tara bit her lip and looked down for a moment, then, "I worry about you both, sometimes. Amy, more than you, but..."

"You think we use too much magic?" Willow tried to keep her tone calm, but she felt hurt that Tara thought that she - or Amy, for that matter - could end up like Catherine Madison.

"Not - not exactly," Tara protested. "It's more like -" She licked her lip slowly, and Willow focused on the blonde's tongue, despite herself. Willow closed her eyes for a moment and clenched one hand into a fist in her pocket. She opened her eyes again as Tara went on...

"My... my mom always taught me that magic is... it's more than just a tool. It's not just a... thing for you to use whenever you want, it's a... a force. Something you can't just - you can't just control it, or make do whatever you want. You have to respect it, as something beyond us all. Magic comes from the Earth, from everyone and everything living on it."

Tara inhaled, before going on: "I just - sometimes I worry that you and Amy don't always... treat magic with the right... reverence. It's not so much how much as... what for?"

Willow bit her lip before her immediate defensive retort came out. She wanted to tell Tara that she was wrong - at least, Willow sure as heck felt like she was - but snapping at her friend about it wouldn't accomplish anything. Besides, Willow could tell this was a matter of deeply held belief, something almost religious in nature, something Tara got from her mother - the woman who Tara always said taught her all that she knew about magic.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not worried that you're going to end up like Amy's mom, not without... not without something going very wrong," Tara clarified. "She's... she was an extreme example. But magic is... I just - I just worry how you and Amy both see it more as a tool than a force of nature, and once you start doing that, it's very easy to start using it as a... a shortcut. For everything. And that's not only wrong, it's exactly what happened with those aliens - they wanted to use Omega as a tool, recklessly, creating millions of particles... they risked so much in pursuit of it."

"How much can little old me do to hurt magic?" Willow offered, trying to use a bit of humor by making her voice a little sillier and deeper, but then she cleared her throat. "Sorry." She licked her own lips now. "I... I don't know if I really agree with you, your beliefs about magic. Not - not completely. I'm sorry, Tara, but... I don't quite see it that way," Willow admitted. "I mean - I do understand where you're coming from - I get what you're saying." Giles had always warned about the effects magic could have on the user, especially 'dark' magic.

In fact, that had been one of the definitions of 'dark magic' in Giles' many books - magic that could, through use, alter the emotions and the mind of the caster. It wasn't even about good or evil, in that way - magic that could, like... make you happier, make you more inclined to do good things, was still deemed 'dark' because it was messing with your head, artificially.

"Anyway..." Willow smiled, "I like that you had that you could tie it into the show, and see something you care about so much in the cautionary tale." She leaned in, eager to continue the conversation, if Tara was willing. "But since we're talking about needing to have reverence for magic... what about Seven? She... she didn't say it in so many words, but seeing stable Omega was like... looking at the face of God, for her."

"I...I'll admit the metaphor starts to break down a little around there, but yeah, it was really interesting, Seven's perspective - it's so... alien to everything else she does. Well, from what little I've seen so far," Tara agreed. "She's so... logical and efficient. Pragmatic, task-oriented. But with Omega...not at all."

The ensuing conversation took them another hour and a half, the third episode completely forgotten.

Willow's stomach growled, and Willow realized it was getting time to make something for dinner. "Do you want to stay for dinner? I can make -"

Tara shook her head, "No. I, I should probably head back to my dorm. If - if your cooking in general is like your cookies, I'd probably stay until after sunset."

I don't see a problem with you staying here for the night. You can even -

Willow shut down that line of thought, before it even had a chance to be completed, even inside her brain.

"Okay," Willow was a good idea - not just because it was safer, but that too. She approached Tara and gave her another tight hug. "I'll come by tomorrow? You can show me those books, tell me about them?" Willow offered, not pulling away from the hug for several long seconds, knowing she should, knowing it was bad to be... perving on her crush like this, but... ugh, it was just so hard to stop!

Willow did manage, finally, pulling back from Tara before she could do more than just give her a probably too-long hug.

Tara was blushing furiously, but Willow's cheeks also felt quite hot. Willow started to apologize, but Tara beat her to it.

"I - I'm sorry," Tara said quickly. Then she added, "This was... I really liked today." She spoke quicker than usual, though nothing when set against Willow's own mastery of the art of babble. "I'll... I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Willow agreed, watching Tara turn and head for the door. I don't - why did she apologize?

Tara didn't have anything to apologize for. She wasn't the one who had basically just used a friendly hug like... foreplay, or something.

You need to sort yourself out, Willow told herself as the front door swung back shut behind Tara.