Dull, blue eyes gazed listlessly at the full-length mirror before them, the reflection staring back at her feeling strange and unnatural, the person within the parallel world seeming completely foreign to the pinkette. Lifting her arm, the stranger in the mirror perfectly imitating her movement, Luka pulled at the hem of the navy, blue blazer covering her upper body, the garment stiff and scratchy beneath her fingertips from months of disuse. Dropping her arm back down, fingers ghosting lightly across the dull gray fabric of her skirt, the pink-haired girl felt a nervous itch over her whole body, Luka wanting nothing more than to rip the clothes off of her as quickly as possible

'This was a mistake.' The reclusive girl thought ruefully as she continued to stare at her reflection, trying desperately to feel something, anything, that will spark an emotion deep inside of her. One that will make her happy, that will help her build up the courage to go back to school, to live her life once more. To heal. To get better.

But Luka could not reconcile the person in the mirror with who she was now. She didn't see herself from long ago, giddily rushing down the street to meet her friends so that they could walk to school together, laughing and joking all the way as the sun reflected joyfully in their eyes. Sitting attentively in class, eyes glued to the board, both bored out of her mind and yet excited to learn, playfully jotting down notes to send to her friends.

She failed to see herself.

All Luka saw was a stranger. An impostor in her own skin, dressed up as a phantom of the past, constantly taunting, mocking her. Reminding her of something she lost a long time ago, that she will never get back, forever out of reach. The concept of a normal life, one that would make her mother happy, that will make her fit in properly with the society she had been hiding away from, was so painfully impossible to fathom.

Seeing herself like this, all dressed up, hair done up in a lazy ponytail, made her sick to her stomach. A painful gnawing in her chest, like bugs beneath her skin, made her want to tear her shirt open and claw incessantly at her flesh until it went away, even if it left her scratched and bleeding. This wasn't right, it wasn't who she was. It felt…wrong. She was nothing like the stranger in her mirror.

Just a girl playing make-believe.

Reaching behind herself, Luka quietly undid her ponytail, her pink locks falling silently around her shoulders like cherry blossoms falling from a dying tree. Slipping out of the blazer, the stark white shirt underneath matching uncomfortably close to her pale skin, the pinkette turned her back to the mirror as she undid the first button. The social recluse kept her gaze fixed straight ahead, blue eyes staring absently at nothing as Luka tried to avoid looking at her body at all cost, a slight bit of anxious panic rising in her chest at having to be so exposed, even in her own room.

Sliding out of her shirt, the sun's rays flittering between the drawn curtains, a thin strip of light ran diagonally across her body, illuminating the pasty white skin of her upper body, clad only in a simple white bra. Unhooking the clasp in the back, her whole body flinching in disgust when her fingers lightly brushed up against her skin, the reclusive girl quickly threw her bra into the closet, a brief flash of anger crossing her features as she glared at the offensive item in revulsion.

What right did she have to dress up?! To pretend like she was like everyone else. Putting on some pretty garments, doing her hair, would not make her like everyone else. She wasn't normal.

She wasn't pretty. There was no hidden beauty lying deep within just waiting to be found. She was just a failure, a disturbing mental mess in a disgusting, undernourished body. She was hideous.

With a heavy sigh, the anger slowly dissipating, Luka carefully unzipped the side of her skirt, the garment falling unceremoniously to the ground, lying by her feet like a puddle of fabric. Stepping over the piece of clothing, eyes still firmly avoiding her body, the pink-haired girl quickly retrieved her trusty hoodie that was lying haphazardly on top of her bed and slipped it on, it's comforting warmth slowly quelling the rising panic in her chest.

Slipping on a pair of skin-tight black shorts, Luka let out a long, shuddering breath of relief before the pinkette collapsed gracelessly onto the edge of her bed, her legs still quivering as the adrenalin slowly drained from her system, leaving her weak and exhausted. Pulling the hood over her head, the surrounding world slowly disappeared from Luka's periphery, blanketing her in a cocoon of safety, away from the cruel outside, left only with her thoughts for company.

Fiddling with the edge of her shorts, Luka absently wondered if Miku thought she was boring or unattractive for always showing up to their meetings in the same outfit, never once taking the time to add a bit of makeup or a little extra flourish to her ensemble. Miku was always wearing something truly outstanding every time they hung out, the twin-tailed girl making even the simplest of clothing choices look amazing and classy, her bright smile always finding a way to make everything around her seem dull and washed out in comparison.

Shaking her head, Luka pulled her hood a little further over her head, her hands pressing lightly against the side of her head as she pulled her feet up onto the bed, her knees pressed tightly into her chest. Her blue eyes stared unfocused at the shadows covering her body from within her cocoon, the faintest hint of light managing to sneak its way in, just like a certain tealette into her brain.

'Why do my thoughts always drift to Miku?' Resting her forehead against her knees, bone pressing uncomfortably against bone, Luka wrapped her arms around her legs as a delightful warmth began spreading in her chest as images of the pop idol continued to dance in her mind, a small smile starting to curl on her lips as she thought about the exuberant teal-haired girl.

Ever since her unexpected meeting with the world-famous idol, a fact she had been blissfully ignorant of at the time, the pink-haired girl could truly say her life had only gotten better. Whenever Miku was around, whether it be talking or doing nothing at all, Luka felt happy. It was a sensation she thought she had lost a long time ago.

Simple things like sending each other messages on Line made the pinkette's heart flutter in the most delightful manner, small giggles bubbling up in her chest as the twin-tailed girl regaled her with her daily exploits, Miku so far removed from the stuck-up, self-centered celebrity one would expect, always making sure to check up on her and ask about her day. A single word from Miku would brighten her whole day, making everything feel much more bearable. It was like life was finally giving her a break from her mental torment when she was around.

Being around Miku, hearing her voice, feeling her touch, it all made Luka feel warm inside like nothing could hurt her. Miku was always there to make her feel better, with an encouraging word or simply by listening, a comforting hug never far behind. Always checking up on her when her thoughts became too much, speaking softly to her through the phone, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she lay paralyzed in bed, the fears and worries screaming in her head growing quieter and quieter until they disappeared back into hiding. Luka knew she would be ok once they came back, they always come back, because she knew she wasn't alone.

Miku made her feel safe. She was sweet and caring, if not a bit of a goofball, always managing to find a new way to surprise the pink-haired girl with just how amazing she could be. Simple things like remembering her favorite food, always making sure she was doing ok, all the way to staying attentive to her fears and mental collapses. She was a ball of never-ending sunshine and cheer.

As Luka continued to think about the twin-tailed girl, of how important she was to her, her thoughts ended up drifting to how incredibly pretty and gorgeous she was. The social recluse had seen many celebrities before, the news practically inundated non-stop with the newest stars, but never one as effortlessly gorgeous as Miku.

The pink-haired girl's thoughts continued to wander as she stared absently at nothing, a small smile curling on her lips as she remembered the feeling of being in the twin-tailed girl's arms, her small frame pressed comfortably into her side. Luka squeezing her legs a little tighter, a small, pleasant shiver rolling through her body as she recalled the warm feeling stirring in her heart when she was being held by Miku. She felt safe and warm like she had never experienced before.

Luka would often find herself speechless, her sapphire eyes glued to the young idol, as the sun reflected beautifully off of her immaculate skin, bathing her in a halo of light, like an angel fallen to earth. Her eyes would often end up drifting to the idol's lips as she talked, the way she would nibble on it while in deep thought, how it would quirk up slightly at one side when she was about to laugh. How soft they looked.

Blue eyes widening in shock, a blazing blush flushing her cheeks a dark crimson, Luka's heart began pounding painfully in her chest, her breathing becoming laborious as the thoughts she just had registered in her head. Letting go of her legs, the warmth provided from her own skin slowly fading away, the pink-haired girl clutched painfully at her head, fingernails digging roughly into her scalp as her mind screamed furiously at her.

That was why. She knew now why she kept thinking about the teal-haired idol. Why her thoughts seemed to always wander back to her, would occupy every waking moment, the pinkette wishing constantly to be by her side.

She had a big, irrevocable crush on Miku.

'No..nononono.' Short, raspy breaths rattled from between clenched teeth, her chest burning painfully as her stomach bottomed out, the revelation of her romantic interest in the kind-hearted girl sending her thoughts into a downward spiral. Falling to her side with a soft thump, the plush mattress blanketing her haphazardly drop, Luka pulled her legs up as she curled up into fetal position, her blue eyes staring forward in shock.

This wasn't right! She can't be falling in love with her, she just can't! She can't afford to mess this up. It's the only good thing she has in her life right now. What if she messes it up? What if she acts weird in front of her, more than she already does? It could scare her away, horrify her, make Miku look at her like everyone else does. With barely restrained disgust and revulsion.

Feeling the familiar hole open up beneath her, her mind a venomous snake poised to strike, Luka forced her eyes shut tightly, praying, hoping to escape to the realm of sleep, where her thoughts could not find her. A momentary respite from her pain and mistakes.


The sun casting an orange glow over her room was the first thing Luka noticed as she awoke from her forced slumber, an irritating pressure in the back of her head causing her to wince in pain, the unexpected nap making her feel lethargic and fatigued. But, despite the heavy feeling in her bones, her mind did not give her a moment's rest, her thoughts immediately returning to the teal-haired object of her affection.

What had she hoped would happen? That her mind would just once give her some peace? That she would be allowed to live one moment without knowing what kind of failure she was? She couldn't even make a new friend without constantly messing it up, always having to overcomplicate it, to take something good in her life and taint it.

Reaching over the side of her bed, Luka picked up her phone, her fingers momentarily fumbling with the device, craving for any kind of distraction from her torturous mind, to lose herself to hours of mindless entertainment. Pressing the button at the side of her phone, the display lighting up with blinding luminescence, Luka felt her heart freeze dead in her chest, her blue eyes wide with horror.

Notifications, several of them, clogged her usually bare home screen, one name, one painfully familiar name, repeating over and over like a knife being stabbed over and over into her heart.

Miku, her name displayed prominently over every notification, had tried to contact her multiple times during her impromptu nap, the timestamps getting more and more frequent as time went by. Punching in her password with trembling fingers, her breath caught painfully in her throat as she read the first of many messages, tears pricking painfully in the corner of her eyes as she went through them one by one, a small part of her heart being chipped away after each one.

"Hiiii Luka-chan! Work ended early today(because I killed it, as usual)! Want to hang out?!"

"I'm back home and taking a quick shower. Let me know if you're up to hanging out!"

"Luka-chan? Are you ok?"

"Is everything alright?"

Every word, every message, broke Luka's heart more and more, picturing the tealette's distress as she waited for her reply, one that would never come. All because she needed to escape reality, to hide away within her dreamless sleep. Because the thought of confronting her problems was too much to bear. Because she was a hopeless coward.

Because she couldn't even handle a simple crush!

As she read through each message, Luka felt her stomach bottom out when she noticed the notification for a missed call, the little icon for her voicemail tauntingly blinking in the corner of her screen. Like a specter preparing to provide her with more heartache and pain. Pressing the notification window, the call menu instantly popping up, Luka listened to the automated message as the hole in her stomach grew and grew, threatening to swallow her up and drown her in her misery.

"Luka-chan?" Luka let out a choked sob when Miku's voice came through her receiver, the worried, almost sad, tone causing pained tears to start falling from her eyes. She sounded so scared, almost frantic, the sound of her pacing footsteps echoing faintly in the background. It was so different from her usually chipper and upbeat demeanor, so far removed from the happy, fun-loving idol she came to know over the last couple of weeks. And it was all her fault

"I just wanted to check up on you. You didn't respond and I know sometimes things are hard for you, but I just couldn't help but worry. It's not like you to not respond at all. It scared me a little."

Clenching her eyes shut, her fist clenching the bedsheet tightly until her knuckles turned white, Luka felt hot tears roll down her cheeks, the pinkette wanting nothing more than to scream out in despair, to curse her very existence for hurting such a sweet and wonderful girl. Luka felt like shutting down, to just lay down and let her emotions and bad thoughts drown her until everything went numb, but the message went on, Miku's voice speaking up once more.

"I hope you're ok Luka-chan. Please, please don't feel bad about this. I just want to make sure you're ok and that you are taking care of yourself. There is no reason for you to feel bad about this, ok? I'm always here for you, you know that. Call me or send me a mail or whatever when you can, ok? Anytime you want. Ok..umm…bye, Luka-chan. I'll be here."

As the voicemail came to an end, the robotic voice of the menu obediently running through its pre-programmed message, Luka, with tears still rolling down her cheeks, couldn't help but smile. The young idol was always so sweet, so unflinchingly caring, reaching out to her with nothing but kindness and understanding. A glowing light within the murky depths of her mind, always there to guide her to safety.

How could she have not fallen in love with her?

Swiping back to her Line app, Luka began typing out a response message to the twin-tailed beauty, apologizing profusely for her mistake, her fingers suddenly coming to a stop, hovering over the next letter. Biting her lip, her mind at war with itself, Luka quickly deleted what she had written before tapping on Miku's icon and pressing the call button before she had a chance to back out.

Lifting the phone to her ear, her heart beating nervously in her chest, Luka felt a small shiver of fear course through her as the first ring echoed in her ear. What was she going to say? What could she possibly say that wouldn't make the idol worry even more? There was no way she could just tell her that realizing her feelings for Miku caused her to fall into such an emotional spiral that she escaped to the realm of the unconscious for safety.

"Hello?! Luka-chan?!" Luka's blue eye's widened in surprise when the second ring never came, replaced by the frantic, but no less lovely, sound of Miku's voice. She knew the tealette was worried about her, the messages and voicemail clearly showing that, but she didn't expect her to answer so quickly.

"Are you ok?" Miku's question was nothing surprising, her frantic tone, a lilt of worry to be heard in her voice, making it clear what she was going to ask, but Luka couldn't help but flinch slightly from the question. No. No, she wasn't and she wasn't sure if she ever will be. Should she really burden her with more?

Taking a shuddering breath, the hand holding her phone trembling within her grip, Luka pulled at whatever vestiges of courage she still held within herself as her fingers curled tightly around her bedsheet.

"I'm ok. I'm so, so, sorry I missed your message." While not the whole truth, the pink-haired girl not prepared to deal with that problem quite yet, she was still trying to reach out, to apologize for what she had done.

"Oh, Luka. It's fine. I'm just glad you are ok." Hearing the sigh of relief coming from the pop idol made Luka's stomach churn, a deep, angry frown pulling at her lips as she subconsciously tightened her grip on her phone. This was wrong. All of it was wrong!

"It's not ok." Whispering angrily, her eyes clenched tightly in frustration, Luka shook her head furiously, causing a couple of remaining tear droplets to fall. She couldn't allow this to continue. It wasn't right. Miku didn't deserve any of this.

"This isn't fair to you! It's unfair how you have to always worry and fret over me, making sure I don't freak out or fall into a depressive state. You always have to cater to my stupid fears and worries, like the damn child I am. You do all of this, while I do nothing, NOTHING, for you! It's not right! I don't want to keep hurting you!"

Panting heavily, her whole body trembling as the surge of adrenaline coursing through her body slowly subsided, hot tears of rage and shame running down her cheeks. She didn't want to become a burden to another person, not again. She couldn't bear to see the hurt in their eyes whenever they looked at her, how tired and exhausted they were from having to deal with her, their lives put on hold due to her own inability to fix herself.

"You make it sound like doing those things for you are a bad thing, that you are an inconvenience."

A soft gasp passed Luka's lips, her blue eyes flying open, shocked by what the twin-tailed girl had said. She thought she would get angry, sad, that she would see that what Luka had said was right. That she would leave her as everyone else had. But she was denying her, challenging what she had said with a soft and caring tone, the barest hint of steel in her voice to drive home the sincerity in her words.

Again Miku had left her speechless.

"Luka-chan. You are my friend. Being together with you is the most fun I could ever have, no matter what we do. Just being around you makes me happy."

Luka's heart started beating like wild within her chest as Miku continued to speak, a faint blush warming her cheeks as a small spark of joy spread through her chest. How? How can she say something like that? This wasn't how it goes. Where was the rejection? Where was the pain?

"It's not a chore or a burden to care for you, Luka-chan. I want to make you feel comfortable. I want you to be happy. Everything I do, every moment we spend together, is because I want to."

Tears spilled forth from Luka's eyes once more, heavy sobs wracking her body as she slowly fell forward, her forehead pressing against her pillow as loud cries spilled forth from her mouth. This time they weren't of sadness or pain, but of unfathomable happiness.

How? How could she have found someone so wonderful?

"Everything is ok, Luka-chan." Miku gently whispered comforting words to her, patiently listening as Luka sobbed, allowing Luka to let out all of her built-up grief and sadness. "You're ok."

Luka's mouth hung open in a silent cry, her chest heaving with pained breaths as sobs continued to spill forth, the pinkette unable to get any words out. She wanted to thank her, to tell just how important what she had said was to her. How special she was to her, that Miku's words meant the world to her. That she loved her with everything she had.

But, through the tears, all Luka managed to get out was a simple:

"Thank you."

On the other end of the line, dressed in a fluffy pair of pajamas with her hair done up in an intricate pair of buns, Miku felt a small smile curl on her lips at the meek, but no less meaningful thanks from her pink-haired friend.

"It's nothing to thank me for."

Shaking her head desperately, pink hair fluttering wildly, Luka couldn't let Miku just brush this off. This wasn't nothing. Not to her. It was so much more.

"It...It's every-everything to me."

Smiling brightly, Miku cooed soft words of comfort and reassurance to the distressed girl, until her tears subsided and Luka could speak normally again. The two of them continued talking until late into the night, the setting sun slowly dropping below the horizon, casting the world with gentle darkness, the soft glitter of stars dotting the blackened sky.

Miku excitedly regaled her pink-haired friend with her promo shoot for a new set of commercial flyers for the leading convenience store chain in the country, her subtle bragging causing the social recluse to softly giggle to herself, simply enjoying her time talking to the twin-tailed idol. As the night wore on and the hours ticked away, Miku's voice started growing softer and softer, her words becoming an unintelligible mess of murmurs and sleepy sighs until she fell completely silent, the only thing to be heard was her soft breathing.

As Luka listened to the idols gentle snoring, the rustling of her sheets echoing lightly in her ears, the pinkette smiled softly as she listened to the twin-tailed girls light breathing for a couple of seconds, taking comfort in the fact that she was there, that she was comfortable and content.

"Goodnight…Miku-chan." Whispering quietly to the sleeping idol, Miku letting out a soft, contented grumble, Luka pressed the bright red 'end call' button, a loud beep signaling the end of her connection with the twin-tailed girl on the other end. Looking at the smiling picture of Miku in her icon, warmth and joy gently brewing within her chest, Luka slowly crawled under her covers, resting her head softly upon her pillow as she let her eyes drift close, to return to the realm of sleep once more.

This time with a smile curling happily on her lips.

A/N: A little understanding goes a long way.

Yes, this story isn't dead, despite my severe inability to get a chapter out in a decent time. I will not forget about it and I will not abandon it, it will just, unfortunately, be sporadic with updates until I finish one of my other stories. I also had some trouble writing this chapter which didn't help matters. I'm really sorry to anyone who follows this story and I will do my very best to be faster with an update than last time.

A rough chapter for Luka, whose revelation of her feelings for Miku leads to more fear and pain than the usual joy and happiness it should give. Luckily Miku is always there to make her feel better and to let her know that things will be ok.

Thank you to everyone that has given this story a chance and I hope to bring you a new chapter sooner rather than later. Have an absolutely wonderful day and I love you all!