Chapter Eight

Confessional

"John, stop! Stop now!"

The carriage clattered to a stop on the North Road, its two horses whinnying indignantly as they were pulled to a halt abruptly. Whilst the other had been busy inside the castle, John had hijacked one of the carriages, leaving its driver and two footmen unconscious on the road. The whole of the Sheriff's birthday loot was loaded in the back, and the moment the last of them leapt on board, the carriage had hurtled through the portcullis too fast for anyone to try and stop it.

There would be no one in pursuit yet, with any luck, the Sheriff was still stuck in his own great hall to give chase at this time of night.

The six outlaws were laughing, clapping each other on the back and above all congratulating Djaq for keeping up appearances so convincingly for as long as they had needed. Much was feasting on a hefty piece of the whole roasted pig they'd left in place on the decoy table and Djaq, though clearly still very uncomfortable in her disguise had been grinning as proud as a peacock. She was beautiful, Will had been waiting for a chance to tell her that all night, but never had a moment alone with her to do so without threat of jeering from the others. Perhaps he was more overprotective now, since their night together on the ship, but he could not help how much he hated the thought of his love flaunting around in that dress, that somehow seemed even more revealing than the last time she had worn it, all night, with other men leering lecherously at her.
His jaw had almost hit the floor when the near flawless English accent came out, none of them had known she could do that, and it just added to the ever growing list of reasons he admired her so much.

He smiled softly across at her, the fresh rush of adrenaline after a successful heist still running through all of them. When she met his eyes this time for a moment there was no hint of anything unsaid suddenly, no awkwardness that perhaps he had been imagining after all. There was only a spark of pure happiness that he loved about her.
Then, despite the icy winter chill in the air, a hot flush seemed to come over her, though it was often hard to tell due to her darker skin, she kept fanning herself with her hand and, as happened so frequently now, her hand went to her stomach, and she suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, looked like she was about to be sick.
She shouted for John to stop the carriage and Will banged on the wall of the coach to be sure the big man could hear over the thundering of the hooves.

The moment the vehicle stopped, Djaq had thrown the door open and bolted from it, gathering her gown around her knees so she could run. She barely made it into the tree line before she doubled over and the awful sound of retching carried back to them.

"I'm not being funny right, but something has got to be wrong with her. That's been every day for the last two weeks."

"Yeah...you're not wrong." Will clapped Allan's shoulder as he shuffled past him and hopped out of the carriage.

Each horrible moan of sickness sent a pang through him. She was clearly ill, and he'd known for weeks there was something she was not telling him, but he hated it. He hated feeling so helpless like she didn't even trust him enough to tell him what was wrong with her, he hated that Djaq was clearly suffering something and he couldn't help her because she was the doctor to them.

He walked up quietly, trying not to cringe as another bout of sickness made her whole body shake. She was kneeling now, one arm around the tree beside her as she leaned against it for support. Slowly, without saying a word to ask if she needed help, he knew the answer, he just placed a hand on the bare skin of her back that was revealed near the shoulders and gently rubbed down to the small of her back. At first she tensed at his touch, shivered beneath his cold hand but was quickly overtaken by another wave of nausea and didn't bother to shoo him away. Quickly Will unclasped the purple cloak that had served as part of his disguise and swung it over her shoulders instead. She must have been freezing in that dress.

"Djaq?" He said softly as she slowly seemed to recover. "Don't say you're fine, you know no one is buying that." Footsteps sounded behind them and he turned as Robin approached.

"I'm sorry, Djaq, I know you're ill. But we need to move the carriage. We have to get this back to camp."

"Robin, give her a-"

"No." Djaq straightened up, pulling Will's cloak around her shoulders. She did not look at all well. "It's okay. You go, move it closer. Will and I will walk back and meet you there to unload it."

"You sure you want to walk?"

"Quite sure, I think Little John's driving will make me sicker." She looked up at him, her eyes wide and nervous looking. "And we should talk."

"Right. We'll see you back at camp." Robin nodded and warmly clasped Djaq's shoulder. "Brilliant job, Djaq."

}}}-l

"This craftsmanship is good."

"See? I've got a life here." Will shot his father a glare, tossing down the rag he'd used to wipe his face clean of the mud they used as camouflage. Pleased though he was to see his family again for the first time in nearly a year, could they not have just come to visit? Not to kidnap him?

"Yeah well, what that tells me is you could make a decent living in Scarborough."

"Dad, I'm an outlaw! I stand up for what I believe in."

"Are you saying I don't?"

"You let the Sheriff cut off your hand!" The words had left his mouth before Will really could think about them and he was uncomfortably aware of the rest of the gang staring wide-eyed between the bickering family. Even Luke looked shocked and leapt to their father's defense right away.

"That was to save me and you!"

"I know…" Will sighed, not wanting to look at the hurt expression on his father's face. "I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did." Dan shook his head, and clenched his jaw in the same way that both his sons did then they were angry and bitterly Will huffed and turned away.

"Robin, can you tell my father that I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions?"

"Well a real man listens to advice, Will…"

"Thank you, Robin."

"But Will does have a life here. And you should see it before you take him away from it."

Will rolled his eyes, and turned and marched away, leaving his father in conversation with Robin. Was it too much to hope that his father would drop the subject after seeing the good they did for the people? Knowing him, yes.

"All I want is the best for you, Will. You could have a real life in Scarborough."

Will stopped mid step and turned to glare at his father as he caught up with him.
"I have a real life here." He was acutely aware of Allan walking on his toes behind them as if Will couldn't see him there, and the looks that John and Djaq were exchanging in his peripheral vision. "I'm not leaving the lads."

"But you could leave your flesh and blood. That's nice, son."

"Yeah, I wouldn't have said that, Will…"Allan clearly had not meant for Will to hear that comment but Will shot daggers in his glare all the same.

"You know the other option was hanging."

"And I'm sayin', that you have a choice now. Come back, settle down, take over the trade." Dan's one remaining hand rested on Will's shoulder, equal parts a peace offering and a comfort. Of course Will missed his family. But this wasn't what Will thought was the right thing to do. He shrugged off his father's hand and took a step backwards. "And maybe let me see a grandchild before I die, your old man isn't getting any younger."

Snorts of poorly contained laughter drew both father and son's attention away for a second. Both Allan and Djaq, unusually for her, hadn't been able to hold back their laughter and both immediately tried to hide it behind their hands. Even John was looking everywhere but at Will as if to pretend he wasn't listening in. The Saracen turned her head, attempting to hide her smiles behind Allan's shoulder, and instinctively Will's eyes followed her for a moment before Allan's knowing expression betrayed him and his dusty brown eyebrows waggled suggestively.

Heat crept up the back of Will's neck, though the rest of the men were well aware of his feelings for the Saracen woman, his father did not need to know of them but too late, he saw the glimmer of understanding flicker through Dan's grey eyes when he followed Will's line of sight.

"Well, if that's your priority." Will huffed, putting his personal and altogether irrelevant desires aside, and clapped his father satirically on the shoulder. "It's a good thing you've got two sons. Marry Luke off when 'e's old enough. We're done here. I'm going to get some rabbits."

Unhooking his belt that holstered his two axes, the carpenter's son dropped them on his bunk, grabbed a bow and a handful and arrows and walked off in a moody huff. The joy of seeing his father and little brother again was tainted now. He heard footsteps running to catch up with him and turned as Luke, much taller now than last they'd met, reached his side.

"You shouldn't have said that to him."

"I know, Luke. But he shouldn't expect me to up and leave my life and run to Scarborough."

"Scarborough isn't bad, you know? Living with Aunty Annie is better than living in Loxley ever was. Besides, you aren't an outlaw there."

"Do not start this, Luke. I'm not going back with you." Once, perhaps, he had been close. He had nearly taken the Gisborne's money at Allan's persuasion and run to Scarborough back when they thought this would all be over. He never regretted turning around and running back to the camp. If anything, if he and Allan had arrived any later, all their friends might well have been dead.

"Fine. But Dad wished you were there every day." The newly seventeen year old sighed and for a minute the brothers walked in companionable, if somewhat awkward, silence through the forest. "So what is it you do out here?"

"Help people. Make a difference. Generally get in the Sheriff's way. Shush…" Will threw out his hand and pushed his brother back as a rustle in the bushes caught his attention. He dropped to his knees just as a dusty grey rabbit hopped from the bush, snuffling around in the soil.

"Can I do it?"Luke hissed, his eyes lighting up as he reached for the bow. "I'm a better shot now. Can I do it?"

His sour mood forgotten for the moment, Will's lips twitched into a grin at his not-so-little brother's eagerness and after a second, handed over the bow.
Luke, young though he was, had never been one to take his time about anything. Which was why he hadn't had the patience to learn the art of the trade from their father like Will had. Bows and arrows, and small carvings was all Luke had taken the time to pay close attention to, it had always been Will set to take over the business when his father could no longer work.
True to form, Luke did not take his time to shoot either. Perhaps it was simply living with Robin Hood that had made them all infinitely better shots than they had been before, but Will couldn't help the exasperated sigh when Luke fired straight away and inevitably missed. The rabbit, spooked off, raced off into the trees.
"Better shot than what? A tree?" Will clapped Luke over the head with his palm and snatched back the bow. "If you're in charge of dinner, we're all going hungry."

"I only wanted a go."

"How many times have I told you to be patient?"

And just like that the familiar brotherly relationship was restored. It felt as if no time at all had passed between Will running off with Robin into the woods while Dan took Luke and moved to Scarborough and now. As if the last year had never happened at all.

"If you two are quite finished scaring off all the animals in the forest?"

The familiar Arabic lilt made the Scarlett brothers turn around. Djaq stood there, three sizeable trout hanging from the string she held up in her right hand. "Next time just check the traps first." She smirked, and jerked her head for them to follow back to camp, leaving Will smiling softly to himself behind her back as she headed off. He stood again, gathering the arrows back up as Luke dusted the dirt from his knees.

"So how did you end up with a Saracen on your side?"

"Uh, weird story, Luke, but basically we blew up the mine, freed some slaves and...well she wanted to stay."

"Don't tell Dad I said this, but your life is a lot more exciting." Luke grinned and added, none too quietly, "There's no girls in Scarborough that look like her."

"Well of course not, Djaq isn't English."

"Her name is Jack? Is that a girl's name in the Holy Land?"

Now it felt like they'd never been parted. Luke was older, and taller, but he was still the same little brother that no matter how much Will loved, would always be irritating. "No. I mean, how should I know? If anyone would, it'd be Robin, wouldn't it?"

"Well she's pretty anywa-hey, stop doing that!" Luke grumbled, ducking out of the way as Will clapped him upside the head again.

"Then ogle girls that are your age. She's far too old for you."

}}}-l

"At least it waited until the end of the night. That could have been a lot worse."

"What waited?"

"...the...nausea. What did you think?"

Djaq's small hand slid into the crook of his elbow, to Will's pleasant surprise, as she leaned up against him, using his height for support as they walked.

"I didn't get to say yet, but you look…"

"Yes, so I have heard all night-hold on…"

Will paused,a few steps ahead as she slipped free of his arm and turned as she retrieved the knife strapped to her leg again.

"I do not know how Marian managed these dresses, especially out here." She grumbled and he watched with a raised eyebrow as she, none too carefully, cut a long slit in the fabric from her knee to the hem, exposing one slender leg as she hiked the dress up and tied it higher off the ground for ease of movement. That was one of things he loved the most about her. She could be, and was, unapologetically feminine and somehow at the same time completely unladylike. It made him wonder if she had always been this way, and if not, what she had been like as a younger girl back in her homeland.

"Nice legs." He said before he could stop himself, and then immediately cringed when Djaq laughed at him and nudged his shoulder playfully.

"That sounds like Allan talking."

"I know, I am so sorry."

They chuckled, and for a moment it felt normal again, comfortable and easy as they joked and laughed together like they used to.
"Oh please, it isn't like you haven't seen my legs before. I am hardly offended."

Will was suddenly grateful for the darkness that had fallen, he could feel his blood rushing to his face again and hoped she couldn't tell how red he had probably turned. It had taken all his self control not to have given himself away on the ship weeks ago every time he even looked at Djaq, and even then Much had continued to give him strange looks through the rest of the voyage. He was very careful not to think about her, about them, but how exactly could he prevent it when she spoke so carefree?

She was laughing, she could definitely see his embarrassment.
"Oh shut up." He huffed, and nudged her in return which just made her laugh more.

"I did not mean that, you transparent man. But it is charming how flustered you are." The smile on her face seemed to fade slightly. "But...since we somehow ended up there…"

"What do you mean?" This time Will was the one who stopped, his heartbeat beginning to quicken a little as he dared not assume the worst that she had changed her mind after all.

"You...remember right?"

Had Djaq not suddenly looked out of sorts, Will might have laughed out loud at the question, as it was he raised an amused eyebrow down at her and feigned ignorance for a moment. "What? Remember that thing that we're supposed to pretend never happened but are very glad it did? It does ring a bell, yeah." The look on her face wiped all trace of mirth from his and he swallowed nervously. "Wait you're not...you're still happy with me, right?"

"What? Yes, of course I am happy with you. You know I love you, Will Scarlett." And her small cold hand on his cheek calmed him down in a way that only Djaq's touch could. "It is not that…"

"I thought you were avoiding me or something. I knew I was being stupid."

"Perhaps...but perhaps I was a little bit. No. Not perhaps, I was avoiding you."

Djaq's hand slid down into his own, intertwining their fingers affectionately as she slowly began to walk again. Her skin was cold to the touch and yet still somehow sweaty and clammy. "But I owe you the truth, and the truth is that I am not sick."

Will sighed, "Djaq, your stubbornness is not endearing when your health is-"

"Shut up."

Will shut up obediently but he clenched his jaw tensely, and let her talk.

"I was telling the truth that nothing is contagious, so Much need not fear I suppose that is a small mercy…"

"How can you know it's not contagious?"

"If you would shut up and let me get more than one sentence out, Will, you might know!" Djaq snapped. She was holding his hand so hard her nails had started to dig into his skin. "I am…" And there her resolve seemed to falter and her words fell away. Gone was the confident, tough, and borderline sultry woman she had been tonight and in her place stood a nervous, sweaty mess of a woman that made Will remember she was in fact human and not some perfect ethereal angel among them. Her huge, doelike brown eyes were wide when she looked up at him, and he saw the fear behind them that he'd only seen once before. It was the same look she had that on that dawn in the barn three months ago when they all faced their seemingly certain death, the same soft vulnerability that Djaq never liked to show, right before she had kissed him.

He bit his tongue, fought the urge to ask if she was alright because clearly she was not. He gave her the time and space she needed to say whatever it is she was not saying.

"Will you promise me something first?" She asked at last.

"Of course, anything."

"That you will not despise me for what I am about to say."

And then Will really did laugh a little in disbelief because that was so utterly ridiculous a concept he could not help himself. "Wow, it must be a big deal." He sobered quickly when her expression remained humourless and gently tugged his hand from hers to place both on either side of her face as he looked down at her. She was so small, even with the heeled shoes she barely came up to his chin. "Djaq. Saffiyah. Nothing, short of possibly murdering my family, could lessen you in my eyes. Even if you do regret what we did before we're married, that's fine, my love. Really."

Her hand came up to cover his left one and they stayed like that for a few moments before he saw her swallow a lump of nerves and nod softly.

"Will...I am with child."

At least that's what he thought she had said. But she couldn't have said that, because she couldn't be.

"I-huh?" Was all he managed to, less than intelligently, get out. "You're what?"

"Pregnant."

Alright, so she had said that. The cold of the night was long forgotten the longer he just stood there staring at her, like his body could not get colder than his blood had begun to run. "You're…" Words had escaped, his vocabulary suddenly dramatically condensed as he struggled to form a coherent sentence. "You're what? How?"

The fear that a moment ago been all over Djaq's face was gone and replaced with mild irritation when she just raised an eyebrow at him. "Do I really have to explain to a grown man how babies are made? You were very much there."

"No. I know how, but...how?" He wasn't an idiot, he did know the biology involved. For starters he'd grown up in a one room home and he had a little brother. Slowly it seemed to sink in and he took a step backwards from her to run a suddenly sweaty hand over his face. "Are you….are you sure?"

"Yes. I am now. I did not know at first." She seemed to hesitate and did not try to close the gap he had suddenly put between them. "But unfortunately I am very sure…"

"But it was only once? How was once enou-" A whole flood of emotions was raging through him at once and Will had difficulty navigating at best one or two at a time. There was a part of him that might have been thrilled at the thought, and it would be a downright lie to say he'd never imagined a family with her. But this was not the way he'd expected it to happen. But then again, nothing about his life in the past few years had been what he'd expected.

"Please be calm, because I am terrified enough for the both of us right now so I need at least one of us to have a clear head."

His right hand rubbed the back of his neck and slid up into his hair, gripping a fistful at the back of his head, "Well you're gonna have to give me a minute or two, Djaq, this is a little bigger than I was expecting-are you really sure?"

"Yes. I would not tell you if I wasn't sure."

Silence fell between them as he stared at her in a whole new, strange way. His mouth opened and closed a few times dumbly, reaching for the words to say and falling short. She just stared back at him, bundling the cloak further around her shoulders against the chill, and chest rising and falling rapidly. She was anxious, and rightly so, but now, suddenly he didn't know what to say. Couldn't even summon the movements to take her in his arms and just hold her when usually that was his every impulse.
A high pitched whistle pierced the night. The nightingale call they'd all learnt. They were close to the camp, it was one of the gang trying to find where they'd got to but still neither Will nor Djaq looked away from each other.
"We should…"

"...Get back, I know." Djaq finished quietly.