The Cuckoo Girl

It was Thursday morning. One more day and Andrea would go have drinks with her Runway's gang (which included Nigel, Serena and Emily, who reluctantly join them. Andy suspected she only came to spend more time with her Brazilian friend, although she and Nigel have the theory these two wanted to be more than friends).

Andy had already placed Miranda's coffee on her desk and was about to take her coat off, when the door opened and Her Grace herself came in, throwing her coat as usual at her second assistant's desk. Her coat was dark and the brunette did not know if it was because she was in a good mood since she could almost taste the weekend, or due to her lack of sleep, but she found that gesture very funny and she could not stop herself from saying out loud what she was thinking of.

Andy snorted, "That looked like you just threw a dementor at my table." she bit her lip to avoid laughing in her boss' presence. Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Well, it is funny, and I think it was worth it. Wasn't it?

Miranda rolled her eyes at her assistant's occurrence, "Great. HR sent us a 20 something woman possessed by the spirit of a 12 year old child."

Once she saw the silver-haired woman speaking with Jocelyn and a bunch of other Runway's employees, Andy asked Emily quietly, "Emily, you're English. You must have got my joke!"

The redhead made her way to the other assistant's desk, watching Miranda's office in case she walked out and thought they were chit-chatting instead of doing their jobs, which would end up in the Dragon Lady killing them, or worse: expelling them.

"That's irrelevant! Andrea, you don't joke around Miranda unless you have a death wish." she replied exasperatedly. Honestly, what was this idiot thinking? That is, if she even has a brain to begin with. She's nuts!

Emily walked back to her desk, and picked up the phone, looking at Andrea as if she was trying to kill her with that look.

"Emily, what are you doing?" Andy was a bit worried, watching her pick up the phone while looking at her without batting an eyelash, not even once. Is she a robot? I wouldn't be surprised.

After a few seconds, the British woman simply said, "Hello? Police?"

"Wait, wait, are you impersonating a meme? You actually know what humor is?! Wow, aren't you full of surprises?" Andy said smiling.

"And aren't you full of shit? Of course I have a sense of humor, a very good one, ask Ser… Forget it. Let's get to work, for God's sake!"

Andy knew the redhead wanted to change the subject because she obviously had a crush on Serena, who clearly had been showing Emily some memes, but she was not going to discuss that now.

The next day at night, Andy stayed at the office waiting for The Book while she read Runway's magazine. I wonder what would happen if I read Vogue and Miranda caught me. I bet she'd have steam coming out of her ears, and then she'd breathe fire and would end me. Andy pictured exactly that and chuckled. What wouldn't I give to see that happen? Finally the Book was ready, and she was on her way to deliver it to the townhouse.

After hanging Miranda's clothes from the dry cleaner in the closet and placing the Book on its regular table, someone called her.

"Pss, pss."

Andy turned around and heard that sound again. It seemed to come from upstairs, so she took a look and found the twins looking at her.

What do they think I am, a cat? "I can't speak to you, bye!"

"Nooo, wait! Are you HER?" one of the girls asked.

"Am I who?"

"You know, the cuckoo girl." the other one replied.

"I'm sorry, the what?" What the fuck are these two on?

"Mom said one of her assistants had gone cuckoo yesterday and dared to make a joke about her."

"No, I… oh." Does Miranda usually talk about her assistants with her daughters? Well, she was criticizing me, I have no doubt their bedtime stories are actually anecdotes about how useless and ridiculous her previous assistants had been. I guess I've made it to the Hall of Fame!

"So it is really you! The cuckoo girl in flesh. You're our hero."

"What? Why would you say such a thing? I am surprised I haven't been fired, you can't possibly mean that. I made a mistake that nearly cost me my job, don't you ever do that when you get one, I promise it's not worth it."

"Not worth it? Girl, we're having so much fun at home thanks to you."

"What do you mean? Please be more specific, and hurry up before she sees me here or there won't be second chances!" Andy mumbled, quite nervous.

"Mom told us she couldn't let her employees see her laugh at your joke, but she thought it was actually funny and told us she automatically thought of us because she knew how much we would've liked hearing it if we had been there."

"What? No, you can't be serious." Miranda found my joke funny? Does she think I'm funny?

"Yeah, we are. Do you know what do we do when mom gets home and we're bored after dinner?"

"What do you do?" she was starting to like these girls. People described her as the Dragon Lady's little monsters, but they seemed nice.

The other girl was suddenly out of sight, which Andy found weird. Oh, no, is this one of their tricks? Is she gonna call her mother and say I was speaking with them?!

"It's okay, cuckoo girl, Caroline just went to get what she needs to make a demonstration."

Oh, so this one must be Cassidy. Wait, a demonstration? This can't be good!

Caroline came back holding something in her arms. Was it a…? Yes, it was.

"Ok, so imagine you're our mom," Cassidy started explaining, "and we're patiently waiting for her to come near the stairs…"

"YER BE CONDEMNED TO GO TO AZKABAN, MA'AM!" they exclaimed, letting the black coat Caroline was holding fall down on her.

"Oh, I see." No, I actually can't see shit. Ok what the hell? I can't get this off of me, I really am useless!

Andy heard the twins laugh, and she could not really blame them. What a show she was putting on! She was so ashamed, but at least she made them laugh. I've actually made the three Priestly girls laugh! Yayy me! Their laughs were even louder now, but this was not that funny, was it?

The coat was removed by one of the… uh-oh.

"Is there any reason why you're fighting one of my twins' coat?"

Miranda! Holy shit, I'm so screwed, "Uh… sorry, I… I wasn't really doing that, it just felt from up there…" she made a gesture towards the place where the twins were… supposed to be. They were not there anymore. Those little brats!

"So let me get this clear: you came here, placed my clothes in the closet and the Book on the table, and then a coat decided to attack you on its own volition." the editor said very serious, arms closed.

"It seems she's gone cuckoo, right mom?" a girl came from behind Miranda.

"But if she was cuckoo before, she just stayed cuckoo."

"Good point." the first one agreed.

"Girls. Do you know what can possibly have happened?" she tried to remain serious but her tone was actually playful. Andy had never seen Miranda acting like this before.

"Uh… I guess she was just fighting a dementor. She's the expert on this matter." Caroline shrugged.

"So Andrea is an assistant during the day and then fights dementors at night? Impressive. She should add that to her resumé.

It's so cute seeing her like this. Wow, has anyone ever thought of Miranda as cute before? Hot, sure, but cute? Wait, did I just call her hot? I really am the cuckoo girl!

"Earth calling Andrea." the editor waved a hand at her, making her come to her senses.

"Sorry! I… I guess I better get going." she was turning around, when everything went back to black. Oh, no, not this again.

Andy was already moving as fast as she could trying to get this other coat off of her, when she noticed something that could not be part of said coat.

"Andrea… that's my boob."

What the fuck in the fucking fucks of fucks?! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING. STUPID ANDY! Now I am gonna be fired for sure! I'll have to move back to Cincinnati, oh no!

"I'm so sorry, Miranda, I didn't know you were trapped in here as well!"

"It's alright. It's not your fault you're a useless mess around me." her boss said with amusement in her voice.

"Yeah, I can't help it… wait. What?"

"Don't make me repeat myself. This is ridiculous. It's just a coat." she moved her arms trying to get this over with.

"Mi… Miranda. That's MY boob."

"Oops. I guess now we're even."

We're even?! What is happening? Am I dreaming? I must have felt asleep at the office waiting for the Book.

"I can't believe you just grabbed my boob on purpose."

"Well, you did that first, so."

"But not on purpose!" Although I'm not complaining.

"Uh-huh. Well, let's forget this, I've teased you enough today, you're blushing and believe it or not, I'm not that evil."

"I am NOT blushing! You can't even see my face!"

"But I can certainly feel the heat you radiate, Andrea."

Oh, fuck. What can I even say to that? Deny it, deny everything! "No, I am not blushing, the end." How mature.

"Oh, really?" Miranda placed her hands on both sides of Andy's face, feeling her assistant's warmth, "so what is this?"

"I…" Fuck. Andy could not move, Miranda was not letting go, and she was out of words.

"Why so quiet? Has the cat got your tongue?" the silver-haired woman asked.

I'll rather have you get it. Andrea placed her hands on Miranda's wrists, not even thinking what she would do next, but suddenly that was not a problem anymore as she felt Miranda kissing her.

Holy shit, you got the Ice Queen to kiss you, Sachs!

"Are you guys done playing stupid? It's just a coat!" Caroline said from upstairs.

The twins. I had already forgotten about them! Andy cleared her throat, "Yeah, I'm just so clumsy! I am making this harder than it is."

"Next time we'll use a chronometer so you can beat your record time. Otherwise this is boooring." Cassidy sighed. Both of them went to their room, leaving the women alone.

"Was this boring, Andrea?" with one quick gesture of her arm, Miranda got rid of the damn coat.

"Wait, you could do that so quickly? Then why did it take you so long?"

"What would be the fun in that? Plus otherwise I wouldn't have got to kiss you. Isn't that right, Andrea?" she answered in a deeper voice than usual.

"Right. Yes!" the brunette nodded frantically.

"So, it's late. Goodnight, cuckoo girl." Miranda winked at Andy, who was dumbstruck and for a moment felt like her legs were made of stone.

"Goodnight indeed." she said to herself, leaving the townhouse with a wide smile in her face.