Into the Sunset M7 OW

Chris Larabee knelt in front of the two wooden crosses, Pony ground-tied behind him. One of the most brilliant sunsets he'd ever seen colored the sky to the west.

A touch of sadness was etched on his handsome face, but his eyes weren't red with unshed tears this time and he had no overwhelming urge to reach for a bottle or his gun as he faced the graves of his wife and son.

Enough time had passed now that he looked back on their memories with fondness and gratitude for the years they'd all been given instead of actively grieving their loss as he'd done before.

While he still missed them, their faces were growing somewhat dimmer and he couldn't hear their voices calling to him as he had for a long time. His guilt and anguish for not being there when they needed him were also fading, though he wasn't sure it would ever totally disappear.

Just as grass and bushes were now taking over the burned remains of his former house, so finally the six other men that had become like family to him were filling the void in his heart and soul. He still grew introspective and nostalgic occasionally, but he could look back on the past with pleasure and laugh at some of the things that had happened and smile with genuine happiness for all that he'd experienced during his marriage instead of wanting to get blind drunk or shoot someone.

He knew Buck was grateful for that fact as well. The lanky brunet had felt just as guilty as Chris for them not getting back in time to save Sarah and Adam. Chris had forgiven the ladies' man some time ago since he could have come home instead of waiting for Wilmington, but it had taken longer for him to forgive himself.

While he still didn't understand why it had to happen, he now knew who had done the deed itself and also who had paid to have it carried out. The men who had set fire to the house were now all dead themselves, and he would find the crazed woman who hired them one of these days and she would hang for her crimes. Or pay another way if she chose to resist. He'd never killed a woman in his life and had failed where Ella was concerned once, but now had the resolve and strength to do whatever turned out to be necessary the next time. Plus he had the other six to back him up.

His gaze turned to watch the glowing sunset for a few minutes. The golds, reds, and oranges had flamed to even brighter hues, almost as if showing him the glories of heaven beyond. The shades comforted him for some reason, seeming to embrace him with their beauty. It was like he could feel Sarah's gentle touch on his cheek and see Adam's smiling face in the streaks and rays that colored half of the sky. As if they were telling him they were happy and at peace and that he should be as well. He knew they wouldn't want him to spend the rest of his life mourning their loss instead of living his life to the best of his ability.

The ebony pants, boots, and other accessories had now become a part of him and his reputation, adding to the intimidation factor that caused many people who wanted to cause trouble to leave town instead of facing the legendary Chris Larabee, so he didn't plan to give them up. And they were like an outward sign of devotion to his wife and son that still brought him comfort to a degree. However, they didn't reflect the darkness inside of him anymore. That had gradually faded as well and been replaced with a sense of purpose and pleasure in being alive, even if it was in a different way than before. He knew things would never be the same, and didn't expect or even want them to be now, but that didn't mean that life wasn't worth living.

The sunset colors bathed his face for a few more moments, then began slowly dimming. The evening star was already twinkling above where the sky was darkening around the edges. He felt Wilmington's presence behind him, unusually quiet and patient as he waited for Chris. The tall form was giving him his privacy, but was also providing companionship and making sure he was alright.

His green eyes came back to the crosses that were now becoming indistinct in the growing shadows. One hand reached out to rearrange the bouquets of wildflowers that he'd laid on the graves. The soft tones were a bit husky when he spoke out loud, fingers moving to brush gently over the now weathered wood.

"Sarah, I'll love you and Adam forever and I'll never forget you. But it's time to let the pain and anguish that I carried for so long disappear into the sunset. I know you'd want me to focus on the happy memories and not fixate on the loss any more. I can't bring you and Adam back, so I need to move on, start livin' again."

The hazel gaze glanced over his shoulder for a second, Buck's gray a light spot in the gathering darkness. A small smile curved the sculpted lips as he saw the ladies' man dip his head at him in approval. The lean figure turned back to the crosses.

"Buck's here watchin' my back like he used to, and he and the rest of the boys are my family now. They give me a reason to get up in the mornin' and protectin' the town gives me purpose and satisfaction. Buck and JD make me laugh, Josiah looks out for my soul and provides counselling whether I always want it or not, Nathan makes sure I take care of myself physically, Ezra aggravates the hell out of me but will face the devil with me if I need him to, and Vin is the other half of my spirit… the light to my dark. They're all more than friends and fellow peacekeepers now, they're my brothers. They'll back me up and keep me company until I see you and Adam again."

He gave the crosses a last swipe and then placed a kiss on his hand and pressed it against Sarah's marker.

"I'll love you both forever, Sweetheart. I'll see you when God decides it's time, but I won't be hurrying it along any."

With that, the blond got to his feet, spurs jingling lightly as he grabbed Pony's reins and mounted. Buck moved up beside him and said his own goodbyes, then the pair turned and headed west, expressions of contentment on their faces as they rode into the sunset.

By DMA