DISCLAIMER: All official characters and everything else from the world of Boku no Hero Academia belongs solely to Kōhei Horikoshi. I do not own anything at all here, except for any original characters.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am weird. I am like, super weird. I dunno why I even wrote this! I think I've been hanging out at the IzuOcha Temple Discord for too long. How does that even happen? XD
Eri was spending the week with Izuku and Ochako Midoriya. Eri's father, Shouta Aizawa, was on assignment tracking down remnants of the Meta Liberation Army and League of Villains. It was currently the weekend and thankfully Izuku and Ochako were off-duty and on vacation. They definitely deserved it, after all. The couple were drinking coffee and reading up on the news. Their three year old son Sachihiro Midoriya was still asleep, and in the living room was Eri, fast asleep on the sofa. Izuku and Ochako were in the love seat couch when they heard murmurs from Eri.
Thus we come to right now…
"Damn it, she's only thirteen!" Izuku cried out in despair while his wife Ochako laughed at him.
"She wants you to ravage her like she's a cinnamon bun," Ochako cackled out mid-laughter.
"The last thing I need is to go to prison for a thirteen year old girl wanting me to have sex with her, Ochako! Or worse Aizawa-sensei making me permanently disappear." He shivered at the dark thought of his former high school teacher, Eri's adopted father, doing horrific unspeakable things to him should he ever learn his precious daughter has been having sex dreams about him.
"It's just a silly crush, Izuku," Ochako calmed down enough to talk normally. Her lips were still curled with a grin. "She just wants Deku's Dicku."
"Would you stop? Sheesh! Mina's corrupting you!"
Another weird thing was Eri, as she got older, was starting to become a heavy sleeper like her adopted papa.
"Deku… I want the Dicku," the sleeping young teen murmurs in her sleep on the sofa whilst cuddling a Deku plushy. "Make me into a glazed cinnamon roll… mmm…"
Ochako cracked out laughing again.
Izuku was red-faced.
"Anybody else hears that out of context, I'm a dead man," he bemoaned.
"Kero. I'll keep my mouth shut, then."
They spun around to see Tsuyu standing there at the entrance to the living room.
"Morning, Tsuyu," Ochako greeted the frog woman.
Tsuyu looks to Izuku.
"Even long after high school, you're attracting girls left and right, huh, Izu? Kero."
Izuku face palmed.
Right. He forgot they invited Tsuyu to stay with them for the week while her apartment was being fumigated for cock roaches the size of basset hounds. He scoots over so Tsuyu could sit next to him on the love seat. It made it a bit of a tight squeeze.
"Well, Eri IS growing up, after all. She's already going through puberty."
Izuku face palmed.
"Hopefully her puberty phase is a lot less awkward than ours was," said Ochako.
Izuku blushed. "Ugh… don't remind me. I just hope someone competent gives her the sex talk that isn't Kayama-sensei. I still have weird erotic nightmares when we had that sex ed class back in our first year of high school before first semester finals."
The girls just smirked. Out of all the boys in class back then, Izuku was targeted the most by Nemuri Kayama with her double entendre words. Some of them were worried he's pass out from how bright red his face was.
"Deku-kun… kiss me," Eri sleep murmurs.
Tsuyu and Ochako giggled.
"But I wanna suck on it," she continues to sleep murmur.
Izuku had a spit-take with his coffee, prompting Tsuyu and Ochako to laugh more, though now they were blushing. Izuku stands up and walks out of the room, heading straight towards the bathroom to splash his face with ice cold water.
"I think we should have a talk with Eri-chan, kero."
"Yeah… it's funny, but damn… I wasn't THAT bad when Izuku and I were still crushing on each other."
"Of course not, Ochako. I caught you one time fingering yourself whispering Izuku's name in your sleep," Tsuyu reminded her best friend.
Ochako blushed heavily now.
In her sleep, Eri giggles.
Inside her dream, she was dressed like royalty. She had numerous identical young men with fluffy green hair wearing Chippendale thongs with bow ties, serving her every need. She was amused watching her hero whupping a ghostly clone of Chisaki like a bitch in front of her whilst enjoying glazed cinnamon buns and cinnamon-glazed apple slices with some apple cider served to her by the other near-nude clones of Deku.
"Yes, mistress?" one of them call to her, bowing low like a butler.
"Would you ravage me thoroughly while I enjoy sucking on these succulent apple slices?"
Deku smiles seductively.
Outside her dreamscape, Eri giggles again in her sleep.
"Deku… I love you…"
I am sorry I have no regrets for the insanity you just read.