I don't want to forget my best friend.

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"Admit it, you were glad that you were the only one that Rodney could remember, you liked it that he depended only on you," Jennifer hissed.

"I hated to see him like that, it broke my heart to watch him slowly lose everything that he was and I would have done anything in my power to have fixed him," John retorted.

"But you were glad that he forgot me and not you," Jennifer said waspishly.

Rodney was so surprised by the venom in her attack on John that he almost missed hearing John's soft reply. "You're right, I don't think that I could bear being forgotten by Rodney."

"But it was me he said he loves. You still lost," Jennifer gloated.

"I'm still his best friend," John replied.

"But he will forget you you know, in time. Oh not as dramatically as he forgot me when the parasite was infesting his brain. But Rodney will marry me, we'll move back to Earth to start a family. He will email every week at first. He'll get a job at a prestigious university or private lab, we will have two or three children and life will get busier and emails will become less frequent. People will be transferred off the city and even if you stay you'll have less to talk about. Perhaps you'll be transferred yourself and you'll no longer have anything but reminiscing in common. Eventually you will simply be someone that he used to know who he's lost the connection with. Maybe we'll still send you a Christmas card each year or perhaps you'll lose contact entirely," Jennifer said cruelly.

They were both facing towards the door without looking at it. John's eyes were on the paperwork on his desk though Rodney would bet his entire stash of power bars that he couldn't see it, his jaw and fists clenched and an expression of absolute despair. Jennifer stood behind him looking at the back of John's head. Malicious glee lit her eyes as she watched the strongest man Rodney had ever met crumble.

"That's not going to happen," Rodney said furiously, entering the room and shutting the door so the argument wouldn't be overheard.
"You won't intend to lose contact but your priorities will change once we're married, and then when we move back to Earth and you and John won't be working together or see each other every day. John will put a new scientist on his team and you'll have new colleagues and more social options on Earth," Jennifer said patronizingly.
John had perked up a bit when Rodney had denied that they'd lose contact but the more Jennifer spoke the more resigned he'd looked.
"It won't happen because I could never marry a woman who could be so intentionally hurtful to John," Rodney said shaking with the desire to hurt her as she'd hurt his best friend. "You complain that I'm an arsehole. But I have never taken pleasure in hurting someone for the sake of hurting them."
"Rodney, you can't mean that. Don't be hasty. You'll see I'm right. It would be more cruel to leave you both with the delusion that your friendship will continue unchanged. I'm not asking you to give up your friendship. Think of what we mean to each other, and the embarrassment of admitting that our engagement has failed so close to the wedding," Jennifer said anxiously. The logical part of his mind pointed out that it was a rational argument but a more analytical review of what she'd said found something missing. She hadn't apologised to either of them, in fact if she was at all sorry about anything she'd said it was only that Rodney had caught her saying it. She wasn't sorry for hurting John and why should she be. He wondered how he hadn't recognized before now how much his girlfriend had disliked his best friend.
"I am thinking of all that. But how can I go through with the wedding, with asking John to stand beside me as my best man while I marry someone who not only wants our friendship to self destruct but is prepared to make sure it happens. John has always been there for me. Always supported our relationship because he believed it would make me happy. You had no reason to enjoy the idea of us losing the best friendship either of us has ever known. You're the one who said to Teyla the other day that Kaanan should be her best friend, that passion fades and that it's true friendship that makes a successful marriage in the long run, and maybe you're right about that. We need to be better friends if our marriage is going to have a chance of succeeding, but how can I see you as a friend when you don't act like one," Rodney said determinedly.
"Sleep on it, this is too important a decision to make when you're so angry. Spend some time thinking things over and you'll find you're overreacting. We'll have lunch together tomorrow and talk," Jennifer said trying to speak calmly, but only making Rodney more annoyed with her for trying to placate him.
"It's a good idea," John said quietly. Jennifer and Rodney both glared at him to stay out of it. John ignored them.
"Rodney, Jennifer isn't going to take your word for ending your engagement tonight. She's going to stand there and argue with you until you agree to think it over. Jennifer, the more you refuse to listen to Rodney the more angry he's going to get, so unless you want him to do something stupid like storm into the mess in the middle of dinner and break up with you publicly right now, you need to back off and give
him the space you think he needs to calm down and think about what you're going to do," John said moving between them before they could start arguing again.
Rodney glared at him for a moment longer before nodding. "He's right. I'll meet you at 1200 tomorrow in your quarters. I'll bring food." Rodney suggested, it would give him an opportunity to collect the things he had left there before his ex fiancé destroyed them.
"My quarters?" Jennifer asked prepared to suggest that they catch the boat into San Francisco for lunch at a nice restaurant.
"You want to talk about this in the mess?" Rodney interrupted.

"I thought we could go into town, get away from Atlantis and gain some perspective," Jennifer suggested.

"I have meetings in the morning and afternoon, I don't have time for a date," Rodney said firmly.
"No my quarters are fine," Jennifer backed down. "I'll walk you back to your quarters now so you can think things over," she added, determined not to leave him with Colonel Sheppard.
"You're sending me to my room like a naughty boy to think about what I've done? Do you really think that would make me change my mind about calling off our engagement?" Rodney asked incredulously.
Jennifer frowned. "I'm not sending you to your room but you owe it to us to try to ascertain your true feelings about everything without being influenced by the Colonel's opinions."
"I won't ask his opinion and he certainly won't offer information about personal feelings but I need to talk to him about an issue related to today's mission before I can submit my mission report," Rodney said walking back to the door and holding it open for her.

John could tell that she was reluctant to leave but Rodney was determined.

"What did you need to ask me?" John asked when Rodney finally shut the door behind her.

"Are you okay?" Rodney asked.

"I'm fine. Shouldn't I be asking you that question? You're the one who just tried to break off his engagement less than a month before the wedding," John replied.

"She viciously attacked you, used your feelings for me against you," Rodney said.

"Yeah, but what she feels doesn't matter. It's what you believe about our friendship that matters. You tried to break off your engagement because of me. I don't need you to do that, you know? I want you to be happy," John replied.

"I didn't try to break off my engagement. I broke up with her. I'm not going to change my mind. I only agreed to think it over for the night to get her out of here. Besides it gives me a chance to get my stuff back tomorrow before I tell her we're through and she destroys it all in a fit of temper," Rodney corrected him.

"I don't think she'd be that petty. That and you're technically her boss and I'm actually the law on Atlantis. She wrecks your things, you come to me and I'll throw her in the brig and contact the SGC to dock her pay for the cost of replacing it all," John said.

Rodney laughed. "I'd like to see that. After what she said tonight I'm sure she's capable of being that petty and jealous."

"I don't want to be the cause of you breaking up," John said. "You want to get married and have a family. That's you're dream. Don't give it up for me. She's wrong you know. We will be friends even after I go back to Pegasus and you stay on earth."

"I know that we'll be friends. I can see us forty years from now after you retire, still meeting up playing computer games though we'd probably be racing remote controlled planes by then. The thing is as hard as I try I really can't see me and Jennifer together in forty years. She's made all these assumptions that I'll leave Atlantis and leave the SGC to work in the private sector. Do you have any idea how boring that would be after working with alien tech for all these years? Of course, I'd have more chance of winning a Nobel doing that unless the stargate is declassified but it isn't going to help save the world or even keep you alive. I don't think I could do it. And kids? I think if I'm being honest, having a wife and kids has always been something that I thought I should want. A sign that I'd succeeded in life not just academically and of course I should pass on my genes to the next generation. But when it comes down to it, I don't really like children all that much. A couple of hours every now and then with Maddison and Torren is more than enough.

This time it was John who laughed and had to agree. He'd used to want children of his own when he was married but it was never something that he wanted right now. Always sometime in the distant future and while he still regretted a lot of things about the failure of his marriage the chance to have children wasn't one of them. He enjoyed spending time with Torren and the Athosian children on Atlantis and the mainland but a large part of that enjoyment was the ability to play with them without being responsible for their care and upbringing, and he had no desire to try marrying again. Or returning to Earth until the Air Force, the IOC or the SGC forced him to.

"I should go, she's probably watching to make sure I don't stay too long," Rodney said sighing.

"It's time for dinner," John reminded him.

"It might be better if I ate in my quarters or my lab tonight," Rodney replied.

John nodded. "Call me on comms if you want to talk."

Rodney collected a meal and several desserts from the mess to take back to his room and after eating made a mental list of all of his things that he thought were in Jennifer's quarters that he wanted to get back the next day and collected together all the things that belonged to Jennifer so he could take them with him tomorrow. Or better yet drop them in her office after lunch so he didn't arrive looking like the decision had already been set in stone. Then he got out his laptop and spent the rest of the evening working on performance appraisals and other admin tasks he normally got distracted from while in the lab. He did spend a moment picturing how lunch with Jennifer would go the next day and what his sister's reaction to hearing that the wedding was called off would be. Jeannie would be hard to deal with however she felt but Rodney wasn't sure what her reaction would be. She would blame him of course, and remind him that he couldn't afford to be so picky, but he didn't think she'd be upset at the loss of Jennifer as a sister-in-law. He also imagined the reaction of the other scientists on Atlantis and blushed a bit. Perhaps it would be better if Jennifer accepted a transfer after they ended their relationship before they left Earth to go back to the Pegasus galaxy which surely they'd be getting permission to do any day now. Teyla and Ronan would be the most disappointed he thought. They both liked Jennifer, or at least he believed they did, though after her attack on John he was no longer sure that Jennifer genuinely liked any of his team. He was sure they'd support his decision when they knew why he'd made it but he dreaded having to explain himself like that.

In spite of these thoughts, Rodney slept surprisingly well and cheerfully got up to meet his team for breakfast next morning. The team breakfast went the same as any other breakfast they'd eaten the morning after a boring but successful trading mission the day before. John obviously hadn't told Ronan and Teyla about the argument the night before and Rodney wondered if the reason he hadn't said anything was to make it easier for Rodney if he'd changed his mind overnight and decided he did want to marry Jennifer.

Rodney spent his morning in the lab but he'd set an alert on his computer to warn him of the time and he was in front of Jennifer's door right on the dot of 1200 with two lunch trays in his hands, having taken care that one was full of the foods Jennifer liked to force him to eat and the other the foods he actually enjoyed.

Jennifer opened the door smiling, taking his being on time for a change as a sign that he was trying to make amends and wanted to continue their engagement.

Not having eaten since breakfast, Rodney was hungry and let Jennifer lead the conversation while he ate, that is until she brought up the wedding, speaking about it casually as she described the last few things that needed to be organised.

"There's a lot to cancel," Rodney said. "Let me know if you want some help with contacting everyone, and what my half of the costs you can't get reimbursed are."

Rodney thought he was being quite reasonable and adult about the whole thing. His response seemed to come as a shock to Jennifer though. "

"You want to postpone the wedding at this late date? There will never be a better opportunity to have all the people we want to be there in the one place once Atlantis goes back to the Pegasus Galaxy," Jennifer asked upset.

"Not postpone Jennifer. Cancel. I thought about it seriously like you suggested and I just can't see a future for us when you hate my friends, don't respect my opinions, don't like my work or my attitude to my subordinates, constantly try to change my behaviour and my habits. Our plans for the future are too different," Rodney said clearly.

"What do you mean?" Jennifer asked confused.

"I don't want to leave Atlantis, I certainly wouldn't plan on leaving the SGC to work in the private sector if I had to return to Earth, and the idea of teaching college is enough to give me nightmares just hearing the suggestion. I never plan on their being a single day of my life where my best friend isn't welcome in my home but you made it very clear to him yesterday that John wouldn't be welcome in yours. So, I am calling off the wedding. I cannot marry you," Rodney said sadly. He did have some regrets about ending what had for the most part been his most successful romantic relationship to date but he couldn't live with the future she had planned.

"I thought you would come to your senses, see what you'd be losing with this temper tantrum" Jennifer murmured.

"I have, I was blinded by how great our sex life was and what having a hot, intelligent blond wanting to marry me did for my ego that I didn't think about what else you wanted. Atlantis is my home but for you it's only a job. I understand why you didn't think that it was such a big thing to expect me to leave when you were ready to have a family but this is where I'm meant to be. I'm needed here in a way that I've never been needed anywhere else in my life. I need to be here to keep my team alive, to save the day next time there's an emergency. If I went back to Earth and Atlantis was lost. I couldn't live with myself," Rodney tried to explain to her why her plan for their lives just wouldn't work for him.

"Your ego is out of control. Yes, you may be the biggest genius out here but the survival of Atlantis doesn't depend on you. They'll be fine with their new scientists," Jennifer scoffed.

"The expedition would never have survived the first year without me. Sheppard and I saved us all from destruction several times. I couldn't have done it without him but it isn't ego to say he couldn't have done it without me either. Radek is good and Miko's getting there too but they still need me," Rodney replied. "But that's not the argument you want to have. Whether I eventually leave Atlantis or not is irrelevant to you. Our relationship is over."

"But we've already sent out all the invitations and organised everything," Jenifer protested.

"But that is irrelevant if I don't feel that I can marry you. At least we have time to cancel everything before anyone arrives. I have offered to help you contact everyone and unorganise the wedding if you want me to," Rodney said.

"No I will do it. You don't have enough tact to trust with contacting my friends and family," Jennifer retorted.

"Are you afraid I will tell them why I called of the wedding?" Rodney asked. "How could you have wanted to marry me when you don't trust me to talk to your friends and family?"

Jennifer looked at him in shock for a moment. "You know you're absolutely right."

"Of course, I'm right. I'm the smartest man in two galaxies," Rodney said smirking arrogantly.

A/N: Thanks for reading, stay safe, please do everything you can to look after yourselves physically and emotionally and reach out for help if you're struggling. Covid can be beaten if we all pull together.