Writer's note: I am trying hard not to write anything dark. It's not easy because I am for the most part a dark writer. I am not crazy, I don't need to see a psychologist, and I don't have sick fantasies, it just how I write, there are a lot of writers that write the same way and are normal, just like there are writers, who doesn't write dark and are nowhere near normal. However, I would like my fanfiction to be read, so here is a modified fanfiction that is not dark. My original version is a little dark, but I am not going to post it. But I will finish it under fictional characters that I made up and see if it get published one day. So this is a lighter version of the original, Terry's fiction that I started. I hope you all like it.

Was It Always Real?

Chapter 1: The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Terry Short

Somewhere in the near future, I hope.

Tony and Kerry are on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Kerry had just confessed her love for Tony in a song on an award ceremony a few weeks ago. They have been married for 2 years but kept it a secret until that night. Now Ellen invited them for an interview together. They are sitting on the sofa together and Tony has his hand around her on the back of the sofa. "So the tech department put together some interviews that you two done together, along with some other social media and did a video. Will you play the video?" It was played and it was pieces of them talking about how much they adore each other during and after Scandal, the playfulness they had during interviews together, the flirting, the eye contact, everything. "So." Ellen said once it was over. "Question. Were the Terry's Fans correct? Did you two have a thing for each other during Scandal? Or was it just a publicity stunt?"

They look at each other. "For me, no. " Tony said holding Kerry's hand. "I meant Kerry in 2009 at a fundraiser and fell in love with her immediately. I didn't mean to. I didn't think it was going to happen. I love Jane, but what I felt for her the moment I saw her wasn't what I felt for Jane when I first saw her. I thought it was, Love at first sight with Jane, but it wasn't." He looks at Kerry. "Kerry took my breath away, literally, when I first saw her. Jane didn't. All the stuff I said about her during interviews, when she wasn't around, I meant. All the remarks I said to her during our interviews together, I meant, like how smart, sexy, and beautiful she is. I couldn't resist looking at her or touching her off camera and I couldn't resist on camera, and I tried, several times and failed miserably." He said gently caressing her cheek with one hand and holding her hand with the other.

"And you still can't obviously." Ellen said.

Tony looks at her. "No." He kisses her gently in the lips and Kerry kisses him back. "Kerry it feels so good to hold you, to kiss you, to be able to express my love for you openly." They touch foreheads.

"Kerry you flirted with him too, sometimes. You didn't complain when he tried to kiss you, you didn't press charges, I mean some of the stuff he said and did on camera, you didn't say anything, why?"
"Because I felt the same way for him." She said looking at Tony.

"So Scandal intimated real life?"

Tony focuses his attendation back to Ellen and so did Kerry. "For me, yes, it did, with the exception of being POTUS. I wanted to be with her, before she married Nnamdi. I was going to divorce Jane and be with her, but she wouldn't let me."

"I wasn't going to let you rid 20 years of marriage for me." Kerry injected.

"Did you love Nnamdi?"
"Yes, Ellen, I wouldn't have married him if I didn't."

"I mean in the same way you loved Tony. "

Kerry bite her bottom lip and squeezes Tony's hand. "No." She looks at Tony. "Not as much as I love this man beside me. "

"You have mention in an interview when discussing Fitz and Olivia's relationship and why people love Olitz so much even through Fitz is committing adultery; you said that you think people love Olitz so much because it makes you question what love is. Should a person stay in a relationship with someone they don't love because of the commitment that was made to that person or should a person move on and be with the one they truly love. Is that the dilemma you were facing with Tony?"
"Yes and no. I married Nnamdi because Tony was married. Like I said I didn't want him to throw 20 plus years of marriage away. We had a year affair from 2009-2010, before Scandal and I was dating Nnamdi then. I had been with married men before and it never worked out for me. I was always the one left broken hearted. I didn't want that for myself again. So I wasn't going to give up Nnamdi who was available and able to be fully committed to me and stay monogamous to Tony who couldn't. And when I broke up with him in 2010, I said that I was in love with Nnamdi and that Nnamdi loves me and I can't destroy what I have with him, for you. And we didn't see each other again and everything was fine until "Scandal".

"I was leaving Jane."

"The two married men I dated said the same thing, Tony, but they never did, and they left me. I was so in love with one of them that I told his wife about her and she immediately divorce him, but he wanted nothing to do with me at that point. Not to mention I gave up two men, who were available waiting for them and I lost both men. When I first started Scandal, I was in my mid-thirties, Tony. I wanted to be married, I wanted a family. You already had that and I wasn't going to sit around and missed my one possible chance of having that hoping you were sincere."

"My marriage was ruined ten years before Scandal, Kerry. And you didn't ruin it. I did."
"Ah, Are you sure you want to continue this conversion on television?" Ellen injected.

"Yes, I do." He took a deep breathe. "I put Jane through hell for five years of our marriage. I was verbally abusive to her. I called her every name beside her name. I told her she was fat, ugly, and a lot meaner things to her. I had my reasons. They are not justified and they had nothing to do with her at all. And when I finally got help and came to my senses it was too late. The damage was done. Jane barely wanted to look at me, she really didn't want to be with me, so after years of trying to make it up to her and it wasn't working because whatever love she had for me, I killed. We decided it would be best if we have an open relationship. She never really slept with anyone, neither did I. But I did date other people discreetly, sort of. But I never meant anyone that I wanted to leave Jane for."
"Why was that?" Ellen asked.

"Because I loved Jane, and I didn't find anyone I loved more than Jane, until Kerry. My world just exploded. Kerry ran away with my heart. And I didn't know if I was going or coming anymore. I just knew I needed Kerry in my life. And the funny thing about it, I never been attracted to younger women, it was always older women."

"What about black women?"
"Ohhh, I always been attracted to black women, dated someā€¦but they were older black women."

"Older as in a few years younger than you or older in they were older than you?"
"I was attracted to women 5-20 years older than me."

"Really?"

"Yes. I never had a serious relationship with anyone younger than me. So I was shocked when I fell for Kerry."

"So exactly what happen when you two meant in 2009?" Ellen asked.