Look, I didn't want to be a superhero. Some kids may say otherwise. They would kill for the ability to walk through walls or fly or be able to shoot lasers out of their eyes and that's great, good for them. But I say otherwise. Having powers is not as fun as you think.

If you're reading this because you think that being a hero is the greatest thing ever, my advice to you is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life. I tried to, believe me, I tried, but if I had actually succeeded, well, I wouldn't be telling you this story, now would I?

Being a superhero is dangerous. It's scary. Even though the superhero cartoons and movies always show the hero never losing a fight and always saving the day unscathed, most of the time, being a hero gets you killed in painful, horrible ways. You might roll your eyes and scoff, being the superhero expert that you are. But it's true.

Now, if you're a normal kid reading this because you think it's all just fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened; I sure wish it didn't. But if you don't want to heed my warning and want to know the secrets and horrors in these pages – if you feel like you can stomach what lies ahead – then, by all means, continue.

Don't say I didn't warn you.