Welcome to Day 1 of the third annual fanfic. net Advent Calendar! Enjoy.

The Following Trailer Is Rated NFM For No F##king Mercy!


Before The Last of Us Part II… before Fallout 76…. before SimCity (2013)… before Ninjabread Man… before Batman: Dark Tomorrow… there existed the steaming pile of dogshit that would forever become known as one of the worst video games of all time!

Superman 64!

Revisit an era before EA held a monopoly on underwhelming, over hyped games. A time when all video game companies were equal before God in their ability to produce shitty products.

The evil Lex Luthor has captured and imprisoned Superman's closest friends in a poorly rendered, lazily designed alternate world. Now, the Man Of Steel must save them by completing bullshit challenges and flying through a never ending cycle of rings that will haunt you till your dying day.

Take control of the most powerful superhero in fictional history, whose limitless powers have been traded in for a lifebar, stoned facial expression, and really slow punches. Fly into action with the most frustrating control system known to man, as the jerky, unresponsive controls turn the simplest of tasks into herculean challenges that will push you to your mental and emotional limits; because in Superman 64, your greatest enemy is not Lex Luthor, Brainiac, or Darkseid, but the bullshit time limits and endless glitches that will have you feeling more like a caped Aquaman than The Man Of Steel.

Explore the shallow limits of a world with less depth than Superman IV, as you fly, run, and slowly punch your way through rings, minions, rings, puzzles, rings, supervillains, and more goddamn rings. Until you finally snap and put your fist through your screen, just like every YouTuber who has ever tried to review this abomination.

So prepare for this grotesque interpretation of an American superhero by a French video game company, that even this this day and age of halfassed MMOs and exorbitant corporate greed, still exists as a gold standard for unbridled laziness and European incompetence. Because even the most powerful superhero in history is powerless against the might of corporate exploitation.

Starring:

The Rings…

The Rings…

The Rings…

The Rings…

The Rings...

And More F##king Rings!


SuperShit 64!

After all these years, I've come to the conclusion that we'll get a good Doom movie before we get a good Superman game.