The tears kept streaming down her face. She was crying, still crying. She was so sad. Her heart felt like it had been smashed into a thousand pieces.

Or did it? Thinking about it, she wasn't even sure what she was sad about anymore. She just needed to go back to her bed and get some sleep. She had probably just had a bad day.

She had been walking down the streets for a while and calmed down a bit. She wasn't really sure where she was going, but she felt calm. Like a little voice was telling her that this was alright, she was exactly where she was meant to be.

She couldn't notice the tiny voice that would disagree yet.

"Hi! I think I messed up something with my housing. I don't think I can find my number here anywhere."

"Let me look it up quickly… What's your name?"

"Clary Fray." She didn't have to think about it, but something in her hesitated.

"Okay. I can see that you are enrolled with us. I don't think you are registered in the dorms. Are you sure you live here?"

"I wouldn't know where else." She smiled confidently.

"If you say so. I don't see your room number here, so I will have to ask my colleague."

The wait was long enough for her to see enough drunk students coming in for a live time. One of them had tried flirting with her, but that didn't feel right. She didn't have a boyfriend, but it still somehow felt like cheating.

"We can't seem to find you here, but we don't have as many students living on campus this year. People like to stay with their parents more, I guess, to save money."

She nodded, not giving a single thought to her own parents.

"So you can have one of the empty rooms. Well, it's not empty, there is a roommate for you already in there, but she is also in the Academy of Arts, you will get along great. These are your keys, we have your payment info through the university and if you sign here we can register you for this address immediately."

"Sounds great." She signed the paper quickly without reading it and grabbed the keys in her hands before rushing up the stairs. She was so tired, like she had spent all her energy. The cry must have been more intense than she first thought. She felt like she had partied all night.

It wasn't easy to find her room. Dorms were so complicated. When she finally reached the door with the right number, she hesitated. How should she do this? Was there someone sleeping in there? She didn't want to start off wrong with her. Her exhaustion cut this decision short and she entered the room after briefly knocking. There was nobody in there.

"Hey! Who are you? And what are you doing in my bed?"

"Hmmhhh." That wasn't enough sleep.

"I'm talking to you! I'll call the cops if you don't answer."

"Sorry, it's all good. I'm your new roommate."

"What?"

"My name is Clary. I moved in last night. There was a mess up with the bureaucracy, so this is my new room."

"Oh man. I'm Lydia. And you look completely wrecked."

In the daylight, she saw that the room was fully furnished and nicely decorated. There was also a full length mirror that revealed to her what she looked like right now. Still wearing the nice dress from the night before, her makeup now smeared, even on the default pillow that had been laying on the bed when she arrived. Looking closer, it might not have come with the room.

"I'm sorry. It seems like you had this room to yourself before. Oh no! I think I ruined your throw pillow!"

"Well, I guess I only paid half the room. And the pillow wasn't that expensive, I was just trying to make everything look less sterile."

"Still. I'll buy you a new one. I think I should get some pieces for myself as well to make this more homey. Would you care for a shopping trip?"

"What else would I be doing on a Saturday? Do you want to change first? The dress is pretty cute, but probably not casual enough for the occasion."

"I don't have any clothing here yet. Could I borrow jeans and a t-shirt? I'll get myself new ones today."

"That shirt looks great on you. You should get it, too."

"At this speed, I will have a completely new wardrobe in about an hour."

"Sounds like just what you need."

"Just because I apparently have money now, it doesn't mean I should spend it at once."

"You'll have enough left to get me a new pillow. And then you can go get a job."

"I don't know if that will work with my studies."

"What are you studying?"

"I did a graphic novel and they liked that, but I also love painting with oil or sketching. I got accepted for fine arts."

"Cool. I do animation. Do you have a copy of that impressive graphic novel?"

"I don't know, maybe they have one in my folder."

"I'm still a newbie, you already know your way around here."

"Yeah, I grew up in the city. But you still need to show me around at school."

"What did you even do in your first semester? Party so hard you forgot your dorm and woke up with makeup on your face?"

"I told you it was a mess up with registration. I just had a rough time getting started. But now I'm all in. Just me and my art. I appreciate it so much that I got accepted here at my dream university. You should have been there when I got accepted, I was so happy. And I'll be even happier when I graduate."

"Hey, Clary!"

"Oh, hey! Lydia, this is an old friend from my school."

"Yeah. I'm so sorry about Simon."

"Simon from school?"

"Yes, Simon Lewis. We were in a band together, but you were his real best friend. I think he even has a crush on you."

"Oh, yeah. What happened?"

"You haven't heard? How? Didn't you talk to him in the last months?"

"I was quite busy with my studies."

"Clary, Simon is dead."

"Oh."

"Yeah. His mom called me to tell me because I had already told her that I was worried for him. He was behaving so strangely lately. I just wish I could have helped."

"What happened?"

"It was an accident. I don't know any details."

They both got lost in their thoughts.

"Anyway, it was good meeting you again."

"Yeah. We should text more again."

"Yeah, definitely."

"I think your parents sent you some of your stuff. A package arrived for you."

"Oh really? Let me see."

"They must have dropped it off here directly, there's no return address."

"Oh, it's some of my own jeans, thank goodness!"

"And some of your old drawings. 'Clary Fray, 10 years old'. You were a talented kid."

The drawing didn't feel like a typical childhood drawing. It showed the scene of a small river surrounded by a forest, rich and green.

"I think that's in Central Park."

"No. No! That's impossible."

"What does it say?"

"It says that my money comes from an insurance company. And about eighty thousand, most of it, is an inheritance. From my mom."

She had always just spent money from her credit card that had been in her wallet the day she moved in with Lydia. It was her who had encouraged Clary to get a better overview of her finances if she really didn't want to start working part-time. It was also her who now just embraced her tightly and assured her that everything would be alright.

"Fray!"

"Hey!"

They naturally went in for a hug.

"I was surprised when you called. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more when your brother died. I… had my own things going on."

"I heard about your mother. I'm sorry, Clary."

"Yeah. I think I'm still processing it. I guess we are in the same boat now."

"Sounds like it. I just wanted to come check in with you. I was visiting… some old friends anyway and came here from Florida and I just suddenly felt like I should come see you."

That didn't make a lot of sense, but she guessed that grief did strange things to you.

"I like the new hair cut."

"Thank you! Lydia and I decided we wanted to try something new. I first thought about dying it, like her, but the hairdresser was head over heels for my natural colour and I just got bangs."

"They are a new look for sure. Worthy of an art student. And cute. Are you dating anybody yet?"

"Thank you. I've been trying to fit that role for a while now. And no, I didn't find the time for that. Do you want to see some of the actual art I made? You know, that's also a significant part of the art student life."

"I would love to."

"We're going out!"

"We live in New York City, the city that never sleeps. It's a miracle we haven't gone partying already."

"Considering we have only known each other for a week? Not really."

"You're right. But it doesn't feel like it."

They looked at each other for a moment.

"So… do you have a fake ID?"

"Hey, beautiful! Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure, if you want to get punched in the face."

"Woah, Clary. I wouldn't have put you down as the aggressive type."

"He was being creepy."

"Still, I can't imagine you actually hurting someone."

"I can."

They turned around.

"The next round is on me."

"Well, Clary, if you aren't lucky. The first time you come to party with me and you already make friends with the barkeeper."

"My name's Anna."

"With Anna."

"I'm not crazy."

"I know you aren't. None of my patients are. You just went through a traumatic time and your brain wanted to help you work it out."

"Then why didn't I remember? How could I forget that my mother died?"

"Because you weren't ready to think about it. I only see the police report of what happened and I already know that it must have been super hard and I never met your mom. You lost your childhood home and all your belongings and your only living relative. That's not something you can just move on from."

"I just want my memories back."

"And you will get them. With time, when you are ready for them. You already got some, didn't you?"

"Yes. I don't think I really forgot, I just didn't think about it. I didn't think I'd need to. New college life, you know. You kinda leave your childhood behind by default. It's… it's different with the other memories."

"Take your time. You are not in danger, there is no rush."

"Lydia, you are my best friend, I don't know what I'd be doing without you."

"You are my best friend as well. Which is why I have given an offer for the apartment we looked at. When our year in the dorms is over, you, me and Anna are moving in together."

"That's great news!"

"I thought you might need it."

That night, she just let it all out. Her art had always been a way to explain her feelings to a world that wouldn't care. At least they wouldn't if she told them about her dreams directly. Suddenly, she was a child again, dreaming of castles and dragons and people she couldn't save. The only difference was that an adult mind couldn't be so literal. She dreamt of darkness, but also light, heartbreak and love, bone rattling fear and endless strength. And she didn't sketch out her dreams like she had done back then, she painted them. The feelings. And that night, she didn't find the time to dream.

"Clary, these are great!"

"You think so?"

"Yes! You need to show them to your professor! I bet he'll let you join the exhibition."

"Do you really think he'd do that?"

"Yes! For a first year student, you really have potential. You made up those months in no time."

"This is that time. I painted what I felt."

"Even better."

"I can't believe I'll be out of town for your first real showing."

"It's not like you haven't seen everything a thousand times already."

"I would have been moral support."

"I don't think I need that tonight. I have a feeling that this will be the best night in a long time."

"Mhhm." Lydia looked a little skeptical, but smiled nonetheless.

Clary really did have this feeling, but even she didn't realise she would start believing in love at first sight for the first time since kindergarten in only a couple of hours.