While The Cat's Away

By: Zoey Webber

One night at Planet Express, Professor Farnsworth has an annoucement to make.

FARNSWORTH: Bad news, nobody!

BENDER: That's a first.

LEELA: Is there a mission?

FARNSWORTH: No, I'm going to a scientist convention. I'll be gone for a week.

HERMES: We'll watch the place for you.

FRY: Will Wernstrom be there?

FARNSWORTH: Unfortunately, yes. But I want this place the same way I left it!

AMY: We'll be like house sitters. My parents do that when they get bored.

Farnsworth leaves to go to the convention. 5 hours later, Bender has transportation slides and a bunch of hoses and fire hydrants all turned on full blast. Sal and some contruction workers were there. Fry walked in and couldn't believe what he saw.

FRY: Bender? What exactly are you doing?

BENDER: I'm turning Planet Express into a waterpark! Want to help me?

FRY: But the Professor said... You know, you're starting to scare me, Bender!

BENDER: I don't give a rat's ass what the Professor said! This place is going to be huge.

FRY: But, what if he comes back and finds this place a mess? You'll be fired.

BENDER: Still don't care. Now you're going to help me, NOW!

FRY: Why is it everytime the Professor goes away, you do something like this? He's my family, so I will not defy him.

BENDER: What are you, a moralist all of a sudden?

SAL: Hey, youses! Would you like to try out the biggest slide?

Once Fry sees the slide, he screams and runs away.

FRY: I want nothing to do with this!

When Fry was screaming and running, he broke through the walls leaving a Fry shaped imprint on each of the walls he ran through.

LEELA: What's going on here?

AMY: Splah! One of those contruction workers whistled at me.

HERMES: Is this another one of your schemes?

BENDER: Sure is! We're going to be rich!

LEELA: The Professor said...

BENDER: I don't care what he says! We need some fun around here! Since Fry bailed on me, you guys are going to help me.

LEELA: Fine.

HERMES: What would you like us to do?

BENDER: Leela and Amy, since you two are tough and strong, you two will be lifeguards, and Hermes, you're going to sell tickets.

LEELA: Okay, sure. This could be a fun project.

AMY: We better clean it up when Farnsworth comes back.

BENDER: Who knows, he'll either drop dead or maybe he'll like what I did to the place. Here's the biggie.

AMY: I hate the biggie.

LEELA: Okay, I'll bite. What is it?

BENDER: All three of you will have to keep your mouths shut about this! Got it?

HERMES: Can do.

LEELA: We won't say a word.

BENDER: Maybe it's good Fry ran away from this. He'd blow the whistle and ruin it like he usually does.

The next day, Planet Express Water Park was blooming. It was a huge hit. Hermes was selling tickets, and Leela, Bender, Scruffy, and Amy were lifeguards. Fry was in his apartment hiding under his bed. From a distance at Mom's Friendly Robot Company, Mom and her bumbling sons, Walt, Larry, and Ignar were watching and wondering why Planet Express is suddenly so popular.

WALT: Mother! Planet Express is suddenly so popular!

MOM: I can see that! And it's your job to find out what the big secret is!

LARRY: You can count on me, Mom!

IGNAR: No, you can count on me! I can do better!

LARRY: Cannot!

IGNAR: Can To!

LARRY: Cannot!

INGAR: Can to!

Walt slaps Larry and Ignar and then Mom slaps all three of them.

MOM: Get your asses out there, and found out what's so popular about Planet Express! We'll use the secret and then we'll do it 100 times better! Blow Planet Express and Farnsworth out of the water!

WALT: Here's the plan, my brothers and I will wait in a spaceship for one of them to leave, and we'll follow them and hopefully one of them will reveal the secret.

MOM: That's nice! Get out there, and do it!

Walt, Larry, and Ignar all lay in wait in their spaceship.

Later that day, Bender hears some people conplaning.

WOMAN: There's no resturants here.

MAN: Want this place to really be a hit? Get some food here.

KID #1: I'm hungry!

KID #2: Me, too!

BENDER: Okay. Since I keep forgetting humans need food, we'll set up a bakery.

LEELA: Yes, we can go to that bakery in that planet called Swede. We'll get Hermes and Amy to do it.

BENDER: Hermes! Amy!

HERMES: Yes, Bender.

LEELA: We need you both to go to the planet Swede and get some pastries here.

BENDER: People are compaining that there's no resturants here.

HERMES: We'll do it.

AMY: You can count on us.

Hermes and Amy go on the Planet Express ship to the planet Swede and Walt, Larry, and Ignar secretly follow them in their ship. Once they were all there, Hermes and Amy were at the counter, and Walt, Larry, and Ignar were listening in with a cloaking device.

AMY: Swede bakery! Used to love to come here.

HERMES: We're rich so we can afford it.

Then an android chef comes to the counter.

BJORN: Hello, my name is Bjorn! Welcome to the Swede Bakery! Would you like a pee-cee-pee?

HERMES: No, we'll take some doughtnuts...

AMY: And Cupcakes...

BJORN: Don't you want a pee-cee-pee?

Just then the piece of pie he was holding fell on Hermes's shirt.

BJORN: Oh, no! My hot pee fell on the clock on the floor! Go wash up in the water clooset!

HERMES: We'll take some pie in a minute.

Once Hermes and Amy went into the bathroom, Amy used club soda to get out the stain.

AMY: The dude's right. We need some pie.

HERMES: Yes, if we want to keep our water park going! After this, we'll even go to some cheap resturants for burgers and stuff.

Walt, Larry, and Ignar.

LARRY: YES!

WALT: WE DID IT!

IGNAR: So, that's the big secret! Mommy will be so proud!

The next day, Bender finally got a pastry shop at the water park. A knock is heard at the door. Amy goes to answer it.

AMY: Hello?

It's really Ignar disguised as a crippled little boy.

IGNAR: Hello. My last dying wish is to slide on this biggest slide in your park.

LEELA: Awww, poor little boy. Right this way.

Hermes and Leela lead him to the slide.

BENDER: Awww, man! I can see where this is going! Stupid humans and their sympathy and empathy.

They help him up the the slide and Ignar goes down the slide.

IGNAR: WWWWWEEEEEEE!

Once he hits the water, his costume falls off. Bender is angered.

BENDER: YOU! Ignar Farnsworth! What the hell are you doing here?

IGNAR: I know your secret! I know your secret! I'm going to tell Mommy! I'll be Mommy's favorite!

LEELA: Like hell you are!

Bender and Leela hit him off at the pass and Ignar tries to lunge at Bender with his crutch. Then Bender blows away the crutch with his laser gun!

IGNAR: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

BENDER: And boom goes the dynamite!

Ignar runs away crying.

LEELA: How did he find out about our water park?

BENDER: That's what I would like to know! You told, didn't you?

SCRUFFY: No she didn't. She was here all day being a lifeguard.

LEELA: That's right.

BENDER: Okay, Leela has an airtight alibi. Then it was you, Amy! You gabby social butterfly!

AMY: Splay! I didn't say nothing to anyone. Not even Kiff or my sisters at Kappa Kappa Wong!

HERMES: Leave them alone! It was me! I was the one who accidently told.

LEELA: Oh, lord. Now that Mom knows about our secret water park, our lives are in great danger.

BENDER: Yep! We're boned.

The next day, Leela and Amy were walking to Planet Express. When they were about to enter, a cloaked figure approached them, the figure pushed Leela out of the way, and grabs Amy.

AMY: AAAAAAHHHHH!

Then later, Bender and Hermes were walking to Planet Express, and the same cloaked figure came up to them and pushed Bender out of the way, and grabbed Hermes.

HERMES: Sweet Obamas of Alabama!

Leela and Bender were at Planet Express talking about what happened.

BENDER: Hermes has been kidnapped.

LEELA: Amy got kidnapped, too.

BENDER: See what happens when stupid humans ruin things for robots?

Then they hear the vidphone ring. They go to answer it. It was Hermes and Amy. Fry came back, but he was hiding in his locker.

HERMES: Bender! Leela! You got to help us!

LEELA: Where are you guys?

AMY: We're in an abandoned warehouse on the Moon.

HERMES: We're in a glass cage with a Yeti!

LEELA: Oh, my gosh...

BENDER: Okay, is there any way we can track you down?

HERMES: I'll send a signal to your cellphone, Bender.

Fry runs to the Planet Express ship and goes inside without Leela and Bender finding out. Hermes sends the signal and it sounds like a beeping sound.

AMY: Follow that signal, the stronger it gets, the closer you'll get to us!

HERMES: Better hurry before we're Yeti food!

BENDER: Don't say such things, Leela and I will be there faster than White Lightning!

LEELA: We haven't a moment to lose! Get on the ship!

Bender and Leela run into the Planet Express ship and takes off for the moon. Fry is inside hiding in the bathroom

The Planet Express ship arrived on the moon. Bender and Leela get out and Fry was far behind them. They follow the signal as it gets louder as they reach the warehouse.

LEELA: We'll go in through the air duct. Bender, unscrew the vent.

BENDER: Everybody depends on the robot to unscrew the vent.

As Bender unscrewed the vent, Leela goes in first, then Bender soon follows.

BENDER: LBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL!

LEELA: Bender! Was that you making that noise?

BENDER: No, it's Louis C.K.! Of course it's me!

LEELA: I hate that guy. How did that trailer trash nobody get his own show?

BENDER: I agree! Another stupid show is that Wilfred! Guy in a dog suit, ha ha! So funny!

Then Fry crawls through the air duct.

FRY: What up! I'm here to help you.

LEELA: Fry? This is too dangerous for you.

BENDER: Go home before you cause more trouble!

FRY: Why should I miss out on the adventure?

BENDER: I thought you wanted nothing to do with this.

FRY: That was true with the water park, but I want to help you guys save Hermes and Amy.

LEELA: You can come.

Just then, Fry, Bender, and Leela crawled through the air duct, they see Hermes and Amy being held in a glass cage with the Yeti. They all get out of the air duct by sliding down a rope. Leela and Bender do it flawlessly, while Fry tries to do the same, but falls down and lands hard.

LEELA: Okay, there's our friends!

Right when they were about to approach the glass cage, a bunch of KillBots come before them!

BENDER: Not those guys, again! Had to put up with them in Mexico!

LEELA: Fry, stay out of sight! Bender and I will fight them off.

FRY: Okay, Leela. Anything for you.

As Fry goes and hides, and KillBots run after Bender and Leela. This time the KillBots had no guns.

KILLBOT #1: We have no weapons!

KILLBOTS #2: Weapons? Where?

Bender and Leela fight off the KillBots with karate and punching breaking them all up. One by one, The KillBots had silly, worthless weapons to compensate. I Wanna Be Your Dog from Iggy Pop and the Stooges plays.

FRY: Bender! Leela! Look out! That one has a painting!

Bender and Leela beat up the KillBot, breaking it into pieces.

FRY: You guys! Look out! That one's got Big Brother on DVD!

Bender and Leela beat up the KillBot, breaking it into pieces along with the DVD set.

FRY: You guys! Look out! That's one's got a piano!

Bender and Leela beat up that KillBot and the piano landed on the Yeti in the cage freeing Hermes and Amy.

FRY: You guys! Look out! That one's got a toilet!

Bender and Leela beat up that KillBot and the Killbots were gone. Hermes and Amy run up to them.

HERMES: Thank you for saving us.

LEELA: Anytime you guys. Anytime.

AMY: I'm glad to be out of that cage. Don't want to see another Yeti again.

BENDER: Yeah, remember what happened to Farnsworth!

FRY: Oh, no! I remember the Professor comes back today!

LEELA: We have to get rid of that water park before he gets back!

HERMES: We'll all do it together!

AMY: Let's get back before he does!

BENDER: Once again, humans screw me out of my dreams!

From a distance, Walt, Larry and Ignar were watching.

WALT: DAMMIT!

LARRY: We'll get them next time.

INGAR: We will?

They all slap Ignar.

They all run back to the Planet Express ship and the Yeti takes the piano off of himself and plays Taps with his teeth. Once they return to Planet Express, they see the water park is gone.

LEELA: Wow. How did this happen?

SCRUFFY: I did it. Used that eraser ray on everything.

FRY: Sounds like Ghostbusters.

SCRUFFY: Second.

BENDER: Oh, Fry. You and your eighties movies. You should write for Family Guy!

AMY: The Professor's coming.

HERMES: Quick! Everyone sit down.

Everyone runs to sit down as Farnsworth walks in and sees everything was just how he left it.

FARNSWORTH: I'm back everyone! Everything is just how I left it. Knew I could trust you! Everyone gets higher pay! I'm damned proud!

EVERYONE: YAY!

BENDER: Higher pay, baby!

The next day, Bender and everyone else was in Upstate New New York at the scene of an abandoned mansion.

LEELA: What are you up to this time, Bender?

HERMES: What's with the old mansion?

AMY: Another water park?

BENDER: *singing* This Old House used to be boring! This Old House needs a good fun, This Old House will be a water park! This will be fun on a bun!

LEELA: Okay, let's go help him.

AMY: This time we'll keep our mouths shut about this one.

HERMES: I'm in, too. Mom and her sons won't find out about this.

FRY: Hey, Bender, what are you...

Looking around Fry realizes it's another water park?

FRY: You building _another_ water park again? After what happened last time?

BENDER: Sure am! I am Bender, the repeat offender! Come and help us!

Again, Fry runs away into the woods.

FRY: NNNNNNOOOOOOO!

Just then, Zoidberg shows up.

ZOIDBERG: Hey?! How come I wasn't in this episode? No, don't fade out! No, come back! I want a part in this, too! Please, no Ugly Americans!

The End

To reach me for feedback I'm at: RubyFlower77