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Victoria Aveyard owns the characters present in RQ series!


Dahlia POV

Again and again. I see Mom but I can't get to her fast enough. Sometimes she vanishes into smoke when I touch her or turn into a scarlet pool of blood. I can't seem to get her out of the King's grip. Or the strongarms. I open my eyes, willing myself to exit the dream by waking up.

The nightmare is the same, over and over again. I never witnessed it, but the accounts are chilling, with enough detail to visualize it. Kilorn cried for days. Cameron couldn't face me at all for weeks. She promised to protect Mom at all costs but she failed that promise. She steered clear from me just as I did with her. We gave each other pain from just our presence, with the known truth in between. I've forgiven her now, but sometimes I blame her, Kilorn and Cal.

Cal- Dad, sometimes didn't speak. He also avoided my eyes. They're blue, but sometimes I wonder if blue eyes bring him bad memories. His brother had blue eyes. The "Boy King" they called him. But I think you know who I mean.

Maven.

The "King" who took my Mom as prisoner.

It makes me angry about why I wasn't there to help. Mom knew what she was getting into which is why she said no to me coming with her on the mission. I conceded in the end and let her go. But now knowing what the cost was, I want to go back in time. Dad keeps telling me it was better that I didn't go. He says Maven would take me too if he found out who I was. I don't blame him for thinking that. Mare is my Mom, and I don't think Maven would have a problem whisking me away too with her. He's much to evil to say no to it. Maven is obsessed wherever my mom is concerned and knowing that she had a daughter too might also make him go mad. My identity might be left as a secret for the better. But I've lived on the run with the Guard. I still remember waking up to everyone packing as fast as they could to escape the king's army. I remember running with Mom and Dad.

I now have the courage to sacrifice anything for family or for the Guard. My life included.

I quickly get out of bed, leaving the warm, white, cotton sheets behind and get dressed. The sun is almost up anyway, with the red dawn rising. It's the Scarlet Guard's symbol. "Rise red as the dawn" and "know only what you need" are just the sayings, but the rising sun on the flag is the most memorable. It's what millions of Reds have sacrificed their lives for, for a better tomorrow.

I slip into some blue jeans and a shirt with my shoulder length, river brown hair is styled into a tight ponytail. I never like having loose hair when I'm awake. I bothers me a lot. I prefer to have a clean view whenever I need to and hair all over your face is just another disadvantage, especially when you're fighting. Trust me when I say, it's just a nice thing for your vision to be clear.

We're on Tuck right now, hoping to evacuate as soon as possible. Because of Mom's capture, we're trying to leave everything behind that she ever knew about. The Silvers we captured are going to be left here, possibly picked up by the king, but we're going to take as much as possible with us. Food, clothing, and maybe even some stolen supplies. That should keep us afloat for a while.

Tuck is an abandoned island that no one pays attention to really. Good thing for the Guard. No one would suspect us here so this is one of the safest bases we have so far. The air is fresh and small beams of sunlight bounce off the grass illuminating the small bits of dew on them. The nearby flowers are still blooming healthily, the petals a strong vivid colour and the stems a bright green.

The sun hasn't risen up yet so the sky is still a mesmerizing mixture of orange and pink. There are no clouds up there making the fading stars all the more visible. A perfect balance of night and day in one.

The sea washes up against the coastline, the water splitting once it meets resistance. The fresh sound of water hitting the island is calming, soothing whatever fear I had before. The air is pure and yet salty with a slight breeze against me. The view is just stunning so I give myself a moment to take everything in. I don't know when I will feel this again.

Tuck may be beautiful but it is terrifying. My Uncle Shade's grave is on Tuck able to view the rising sun on the island. I got to meet him and so did Clara, my cousin. But it makes everything much harder when his death came. Clara was a wreak for weeks and so was her mother Farley. I didn't express any emotion, not wanting to believe the fact. But I did break down in the end. Shade's death meant many things to me. I would never see his brilliant amber eyes, hear his laughter, or even hug him. And that's only physical characteristics of him. What's more is that I would never get to speak to him or connect with him ever again. And I'm scared. They are treasured, yet painful memories I hold dear to and I cannot let anything slip away. But sometimes it happens. I deny it all the time but I think I'm starting to forget how he sounds like. When I realized what was happening, I panicked.

Even in death, Shade is still a good audience. He was always the person I went to when I was stressed, angry, or just pain tired. We could talk about things for ages and it was nice to get a new perspective from an older person. It is something that death hasn't taken away. The problem is, I'm too scared to go forward. The minute I see the stone, I'm reminded of his death again and how I couldn't save him at all. All the emotions I've contained inside myself threaten to The way the Samos magnetron's metal pierced his heart and the emptiness in his eyes. And Shade died before his body even hit the floor.

But it would be like the old times, I tell myself. Just like everything else was before. He would listen. Even if he can't speak, I can pretend he is, and make up all the advice he would give me.

I take a deep breath and walk towards his grave. Right now, I feel like I can do anything. But when I reach his grave, I can't will myself to walk another step forward. My legs turn to jelly and I want to run back. It happens often, almost every single time I try. I feel like I'm invincible but it only takes a brief glimpse at the headstone to freak me out. I don't think I'm ready to face him yet. To face death. But I need to face my fears somehow.

"Hey Uncle", I say to Shade's grave. "We're leaving Tuck soon and I really want to say this in case I don't come back for a long time. Mom's gone and I'm really angry about myself for not convincing her to go on the mission. I've come up with a plan to save her but the Colonel says that it's a very risky idea. Maybe you're silence will help me explain everything."

Shade's grave, as usual, does nothing and stays mute. So I continue onward.

"The plan is too pose as a soldier for Maven's newblood army, and act as a spy for as long as possible. Get Mom out as fast as I can too. I volunteer to go, but it's been denied every single time. Hopefully you know how much I'm hurting too. How much we all are."

The clouds darken as I speak just like my rage, anger, and sorrow.

"Uncle, you saved Mom in a way at Corros. Now I need to make sure that effort wasn't in vain," I whisper to the headstone. Small drops of rain come down from the sky, damping my clothing. It cries for what I've lost, for what millions have lost. Entire families torn apart, homes and towns burned to the ground, people dying left and right. And that's only the surface.

"I love you Uncle Shade. I always have. And I'm sure you do too, even in though you're gone. I'll come back from the mission with Mom. I promise."

There is no use in making promises to a dead man at all. But he can hear me at least, in the afterlife. As I step back from the stone, the rain starts to come back down, faster and stronger, until it starts pepper against my skin constantly. The sun is in the sky now, the rays against skin. It warms part of me up. I walk all the way back at an even pace, not once changing my speed. The cool rain is nothing compared to my mixture of guilt, anger, and regret. I know what I'm sacrificing when I say I want to go on the mission. But I know it'll all be worth it in the end.

Even if my life is the cost.