Chapter 3: Shift Of The Current Underwater – Tifa

During the last three days I experienced some other strong episodes of nausea and dizziness, and not only during the morning.

There have been times in which I have been feeling sick during the afternoon, and sometimes even after dinner.

Despite the fact that the situation seemed to have calmed down, it looks like I've had a relapse.

Cloud and the kids are starting to become really anxious about my condition… and I completely understand them; when everything seems to be getting better, I can't do anything but to get sick again, and this contributes to making them worry about me.

Cloud and I discussed a lot, especially during private moments, about my health; as much as we value the kids and their relevance to us, we decided to not burden them until we got a grasp of the situation.

In the end, Cloud suggested me to go and see a doctor to gain awareness about what might have caused these symptoms.

Without thinking twice, I happily agreed with his advice; after what he went through he must be really worried, and I also am as much as he is.

Although the situation is starting to become pretty tense, I try my best to lighten it in order to maintain an atmosphere of serenity, but I believe that this is not enough to reassure both Cloud and the kids.

Despite doing his best to hide his concern, Denzel is starting to show signs of strong apprehension; I can see it clearly in his eyes and in some of his daily actions. Sometimes he assumes a very pensive look on his face, and when he notices my presence, he tries to shrug it off, as if nothing has happened.

This is another one of his character traits that strongly reminds me of Cloud.

Marlene is also starting to get pretty worried about me as well; although her way of showing affection and attention is different from Denzel's, she is clearly concerned about the whole situation.

She tends to display her affection in a more action oriented way, in which I can't say that she doesn't remind me a little about me, and also Barret; furthermore, not knowing the causes of this disease adds an extra layer of stress that can't be ignored.

On my behalf, I think the whole thing is starting to become really suspicious.

During the last few days I tried to point out what might have been the cause of all this, but I didn't come to a solution.

It was only tonight that, listing all the possible causes, I come across what initially seemed to be an apparently unthinkable conclusion.

I might be… pregnant.

A cold shiver runs down my spine.

It's impossible.

At this thought, my heartbeat starts to race.

I can clearly sense a hint of panic growing in the lower region of my abdomen.

Me and Cloud h-having a baby… It can't be.

I can't get a grasp of my own thoughts as they start to whirl in a confused way.

I try my best to dismiss this argument by thinking of possible elements that can refute it; I do my what I can but my brain is starting to get numb, my thoughts start to overlap, and I end up losing my calm.

I decide to try to take control of my body by starting with long and controlled deep breaths.

Only then my mind starts to slowly soothe.

My thoughts regain their cohesion and coherence; the sensation of panic is eventually starting to dissipate slowly, little by little, as my mind also starts to think in a more lucid way.

Somehow, this thought still resides in the back of my mind; it lurks in there, waiting for the best moment to take over me, making me succumb to panic once again.

Anyway, this is only an hypothesis, clearly dictated by the anxiety of not knowing what could have caused all of this.

We've been through any kind of situation, and yet somehow I'm really afraid of this possibility.

My thoughts go straight to Cloud, who is in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

Cloud… how could he react if…

I plop myself on the bed, trying my best to calm down; even though this is only a possibility, I must take it into account and do something for it.

Right at that moment Cloud comes out of the bathroom, his expression unfazed.

He sits on the bed beside me.

He looks for an eye contact, and when I cross my way with his bright blue eyes, which they always have a great appeal to me, reminding me a glimpse of our past together, he asks in his quiet yet gentle way

"Tifa, is everything alright?".

"Yeah," I put on a smile, trying my best to sound reassuring at least to him, but I think my slightly frowned expression conveys a lot to him, even though I'm pushing myself to not look at least distraught.

After breaking eye contact with him I can see, out of the corner of my eye, his expression looking slightly puzzled; he is still clearly worried about the whole situation.

I realize I'm staring at a point in the room, while actually not looking at anything in particular; I'm definitely losing myself in my own train of thoughts nourished by a lot of "what ifs".

I don't know how much it lasted, but the feeling caused by Cloud putting his arm shyly around me, snapped me out of my cathartic state.

My cheeks blush spontaneously; it doesn't matter how much time has passed since I started living with him and the kids, but the feeling of closeness between us always overwhelms me, making my heart flutter.

I meet his eyes once again, and in a low voice tone he just says

"I think you should just rest. You had a tiring work day; tomorrow we will figure out what to do about your illness," a shy smile slowly crossing his face.

I simply nod at him keeping on a smile; I'm definitely tired, and all of this just doesn't make it any easier.

Cloud is right, I should rest.

Having said so, we decide to go to bed; I stay curled up against Cloud, I guess is an instinctive action. He lays his left arm on me is his usual protective way, somehow succeeding in making me a little bit more comfortable and relaxed.

I can't sleep that easily tonight; even if I'm tired, my thoughts are keeping me awake, and this is very stressful.

But as much as my mind is trying to fight his way against sleep, I can't help but to be overwhelmed by today's accumulated tiredness, finally succumbing to sleep.


The next morning, after waking up, I decide to have a shower in order to get myself ready for the day.

As per usual, I dedicate these moments in the early morning to settle everything in order to open Seventh Heaven.

After Cloud left for his deliveries and the kids went to school, I'm finally alone; today, however, I won't open the bar at the usual hour as always.

Instead, I decide to go to the local pharmacy in order to buy a pregnancy test.

Cloud's words are still echoing inside my head:

"Tomorrow we will figure out what to do about your illness".

And what if all of this becomes reality?

How could he react to this?

I decide to momentarily shrug off these thoughts.

Walking through the streets of Edge during the morning always gives me a sensation of relief.

Seeing a lot of people wandering around the streets of the city gives me a lot of hope about the future in general; it shows how people adapted in this environment after the consequences caused by Meteor and the Lifestream gushing off from the planet.

Somehow, despite everything, everyone did his best to rebuild a life, starting from scrap; this was probably one of the best aspects of Edge's inhabitants.

No one had a clue about what to do with their lives, but they had the will to keep going forward, no matter how they felt guilty, or responsible about what happened to the planet.

After a couple of minutes of walking I finally reach the central plaza in which the monument dedicated to the victims of Meteorfall stands tall.

Two years ago this place was brimming with volunteers from all over the town, with the intention to help building this incredible monument.

Today it looks pretty busy; I recognize the faces of some of Seventh Heaven regulars, despite the crowd; meanwhile, some people are just engaged in buying food from the carts located in one the sides of the plaza.

Although the pharmacy was recently built, thanks to the WRO's contribution, it is located in one of the older streets of Edge, which is still relatively new compared to Midgar itself or any other town on the continent.

The houses on both sides of the streets look like they were recently built, which is good considering the high activity of builders all around the town.

Somehow the city is still growing; if you walk around Edge there is a chance that you will see a lot of construction sites. This is a sign that shows how WRO's employees and the volunteers are still dedicated to the people's wellbeing, as well as the city's development, which can be seen by the numerous infrastructures located all around the town.

After some of minutes I finally arrive at the pharmacy.

My heartbeat gets progressively faster, but nonetheless, I decided to cross the entrance and greet the pharmacist, who is a lady probably in her forties; she has a very welcoming look painted on her face, this somehow helps me to ease the tension which is starting to grow slowly.

I am rather embarrassed, despite the situation being one of the most common ones a woman can experience in her life.

Keeping that aside, I buy the pregnancy test, and after paying, I greet her in the most polite yet kind way possible.

Once back home, I head to the bathroom with the plastic bag, in which the test is contained, in my hand.

Today I didn't feel nauseous or dizzy at all, even in the morning, and that's fine, but now that I'm ready to confront the reality of the facts, I'm starting to get pretty scared.

I close the bathroom door and, going against my habits, I eventually lock it despite being alone at home.

After removing the test from its packaging, I remove the plastic cap from it.

Seconds feel like hours, and minutes feel like days.

The waiting is the most stressful moment.

Because of the silence, I can almost hear the ticking sound of the clock hands.

After some minutes, I finally decide to take the decisive step, reading the result of the test.

Two small lines appear on the little screen on the test, which means only one thing.

I'm pregnant.

I just don't exactly know how to react to this news.

I'm stunned.

Even though I was starting to get suspicious during the last few days, I've always excluded this hypothesis.

Probably because of Cloud's past, involving Mako poisoning and Geostigma.

Probably because of my physique, and all the damages that I've undergone throughout the years.

In any case, it's not an option anymore; I'm pregnant… we are pregnant.

I don't even know where to start.

Just like the last night, my thoughts are starting to swirl inside my head in a rather confused way; they are blurring and losing any type of lucidity or sense.

Cloud and I never took into account the possibility of having a baby.

Raising Denzel and Marlene was a totally different subject; they sure are our kids, and during the first period in Edge, they were the only glimpse of a normal family that we could have.

We were, and we still are very grateful for them, but the thought of having a baby somehow really frightens me.

How would a normal mother react to this news?

How will Cloud react to this news?

Everything is so uncertain to a strange degree.

We lost so much during the years, but we also gained so much; I can't just get a grasp on my own thoughts again.

Will we be able to raise a child of our own?

I just can't put myself together, there is so much to think, and so little time to process everything.

Will Cloud's past…

I don't even want to think about it now.

How am I supposed to tell this to Cloud and the kids?

I just don't know where to start.

The sense of panic is slowly overwhelming me.

Like I did before, the first thing that I do is to start by taking some slow and methodical deep breaths.

As my thoughts start to regain composure, I recall what Barret told me four years ago just before heading to North Corel to settle with his past.

"Tifa you can do it here. Don't just take. Show that you can give too."

Maybe this was the answer.

Maybe this could be one of the next steps for our life.

I don't know for sure, but I could probably start from here.

"It all starts now. A new… a new life."

Cloud's words after Meteorfall come back to me; they certainly had a different meaning back then, but now they still resonate deeply with me.

I still can't get a grasp of the whole situation.

I think I should go and see the doctor at the hospital, but now I need some time to… process this.


Sitting in the hospital waiting room the time seems to not pass at all.

The white walls manage to make me feel unsettled.

Although there are some people in the waiting room, the atmosphere is quiet; so quiet that I can almost hear my heartbeat.

Who would have thought that I could have ended in a similar situation?

Probably my mind is so accustomed to what might be outside of the ordinary, that the latter kind of scares me.

My mind goes again to Cloud and the kids.

I can't do anything but to feel guilty; during the last few days they didn't suspect anything, and I haven't even warned them about this possibility… this sounds wrong on so many levels that it disturbs me.

I continue to mull over this thought for a bit.

The sensation of anxiety is growing steadily, and the waiting only worsens this process.

My temples are starting to pulse as a consequence of all this.

If Cloud was here, I could have probably felt somehow relieved because of his presence, but I'm alone for the moment, and I have to wait for my turn.

My mind is obsessively trying to find out when all of this might have happened.

We've always been so cautious, how could this happen?

As I wander through my thoughts, I went back to one of our days off work a couple of weeks ago; normally this kind of days are the best moments for us to dedicate to our family in general.

So, considering the freedom of our day off, the night before we decided to dedicate it fully to ourselves.

I remember distinctly the feeling of Cloud's body laid atop of mine.

I remember clinging to his shoulders; the warmth of his body was so prominent that I could have probably melted under his touch.

I remember the feeling of our lips meeting in long deep kisses.

My hands running through his hair.

His hands were resting on my hips, his grip tender yet so firm at the same time.

I remember the moments after; his hand was caressing my face, brushing some strands of hair away from it.

I also remember leaning with my head atop of his chest; his breath was even and so was his heartbeat.

He was so peaceful, a kind of expression that you could rarely see painted on his face; he often wore a more stoic yet darkened expression, especially when dealing with customers, but there were some few moments of tranquillity the he deeply cherished.

The tenderness of these moments together always brings me back to the night spent under the Highwind four years ago.

It's uncanny in a sense, but I associate this feeling of comfort to that night.

I think that was the moment from which it all started; or, at least, as far as I can suppose it.

However hard I try to find an answer, I just can't get over the fact that we haven't been as cautious as the other times, and that still catches me off guard.

"Mrs Lockhart," My thoughts get interrupted abruptly by a female voice coming from a room nearby.

I finally meet her gaze; it's the doctor.

"Please come in".

Getting on my feet I head toward the exam room.

She must have been a new doctor, probably a trainee.

When the situation occurred, or when the kids got sick, usually they were examined by Doctor Drake, a former Shinra's doctor.

After introducing herself, she explained me the situation, revealing that she is an assistant to Doctor Drake; she eventually takes care of replacing him with his appointments when he is engaged in surgical operations or emergency cases.

After Meteorfall not so many doctors were still left in Edge, and the few ones who stayed here, dedicated themselves almost fully to the patients affected by Geostigma, at least up until two years ago.

By now the situation has clearly changed for the better; a lot of new doctors came in town to assist the ones who were already in activity here.

Her demeanor is quite friendly, while also keeping an aura of formality, which makes her look particularly serious and professional.

After describing my condition, keeping in mind to not omit any symptom, or even the result of the pregnancy test that I took this morning, she decides to run some tests on me.

During the whole process I'm really tense, but despite this, I try my best to be responsive.

After an apparently short amount of time, and after examining the results of my tests, she finally begins

"Well, Mrs Lockhart, both the blood exam as well as the urinalysis are perfectly fine; I also have to compliment you for your incredible physical shape".

"Thank you…" I say, almost whispering.

The moments that follow are really pressing; I can almost feel a heavy weight in my stomach as panic is starting to rise, though she hasn't yet confirmed or disconfirmed the result of the test that I took this morning.

"As fine as they are, they also confirm that you are pregnant; congratulations!". She adds, putting on a bright smile on her face.

I initially don't respond to this, even though I had the time to start to process this when I was at the bar about an hour ago.

"T-thank you" this time I sound really hesitant.

I frown my brows as I start to wonder through an unstoppable stream of thoughts.

My mind is definitely going blank.

I try my best to look functional again, at the least to the eyes of the doctor.

"Don't worry, every mother takes it in their own way," She tries to lighten up the mood.

"Y-yeah, I guess so". I just can't articulate a very elaborated answer, not at this moment at least.

"May I ask you if this is your first?" She looks sincerely invested.

"Yes, it is; we have been already raising two children, but this is completely new to us…".

"I definitely understand how you feel right now".

"If you need to ask me anything about pregnancy, don't hesitate; every single woman experiences it in a different way, that's for sure, but I can give you some guidelines, if you need to".

By now she actually looks pretty concerned; her tone in very friendly and helpful; probably she might have emphasized with my condition.

"I truly appreciate it and I have to thank you, but I'm good for the moment," I put on a smile on my face, trying somewhat to sound reassuring.

"Fine. Come back to see me if you need to schedule your first prenatal visit".

"Yes, thank you, I surely will," I nod, still smiling at her.


After returning home, I decide to finally open Seventh Heaven.

I don't know if it's for the customers' sake, or it is to distract me from the recurring thoughts that come and go frequently.

Despite the commitment, I end up going on autopilot, and just doing every task almost absent-mindedly.

"Something seems to upset you, am I right Mrs Lockhart?".

I raise my head to meet the concerned look of one of the regulars, a man in his sixties who usually comes here every morning to have a coffee and chat; he has been coming to Seventh Heaven ever since we decided to open it.

I put on a smile.

"Today I definitely had an awkward morning," I reply, trying to not sound worn out as a consequence of the events prior to this moment.

"I can tell it by your look," he follows, his tone is calm as usual.

"Not to be prying but, is everything alright?" he adds, still sounding concerned.

"Yeah…" As much as I try to sound serene, I must look pretty frowned, and judging by his expression, he sensed that something must be off.

"Understood; if anything troubles you, I think you should talk with your family," He suggests.

For some reason, this answer takes me by surprise.

"When my daughter lived with me and my wife, I could tell when she was having some troubles just from her gaze; in any case if there is something that bothers you, you should talk to them, they will surely be understanding," His tone is very sincere.

"Bottling everything up won't do you any good". He adds, keeping on a wise look.

Despite the simplicity, his words sounded really heartfelt.

Probably these words were what I needed to hear at this moment.

Sometimes I am truly amazed by the sincerity of some of our customers; probably this context has given them the opportunity to expose themselves in a more honest and open way.

"Sure, I will try," I answer him, still smiling.

He looks somehow relieved, despite being external to the whole situation.

After this brief chat, I decide to resume my tasks around the bar, letting him sip his coffee.

During the afternoon, my mind goes one more time to Cloud; even though I started to metabolize the whole situation, I need to sort out when I should be telling him about everything.

The thought of it continues to scare me.

If these two years taught us something, is that approaching the problem might be the best way to solve it, and being confrontational could be the best way to overcome the whole subject.

Still I can't picture myself doing this abruptly.

Unfortunately Cloud will be out all day for his deliveries; some of his clients are located in various towns in the whole continent, so it wouldn't be a short trip for him; he will be home probably by night.

That's a problem for sure, but I can't explain him the situation at night; that would feel inappropriate, and I wouldn't like to unease him.

I think the best way to deal with the whole question is to wait until tomorrow.


After the kids went to sleep in their room, I dedicate some time to dishwashing and doing some cleaning inside the bar; I know Cloud will be home later than usual, so I use this time to do some tasks around so I won't have to do them tomorrow morning.

Later on I decide to get myself ready and then go to bed; I would like to wait for Cloud, by I know that he would probably scold me if I would wait for him.

He probably knows better than anyone how tired am I after a long work day, so he doesn't want me to get concerned over his working hours; if I would wait for him, he would probably use his "overwork excuse" to get me to bed.

However, this day really worn me out, especially because of the sudden news; when I think about it, it just doesn't seem real at all.

Unlike this morning, I started to rationalize everything, but somehow, I feel like I don't have the courage to bring it up to Cloud.

After changing my clothes, I plop myself on the bed, and slipping under the covers I try to rest.

Despite the tiredness, I just can't sleep at all.

My mind is constantly retracing all the events of the past day, and I can't help but to mull over all the drastic shifts that this pregnancy will bring.

Thud

At one point, though, I hear subdued noises coming from downstairs.

It can't be Cloud.

The lack of sleep in this case gives me the necessary strength to get up and head downstairs.

Before going downstairs, I decide to take a look at the kids' bedroom, noticing that the door is slightly open.

The noise definitely came from the kitchen.

As I head towards the kitchen, I realize that a small figure is sitting in one of the bar stools, with a glass in his hands.

He notices me.

"T-tifa?!" He flinches, sounding surprised.

"Hi Denzel, is everything okay?" I almost whisper to him.

"Y-yeah, I was just a bit thirsty…" His voice tone has an unmistakable hint of fright to it.

As much as he tries to sound composed he is telling half the truth.

This is one of Denzel's old habits; after having a bad nightmare, he usually heads downstairs to drink a glass of water in order to ease himself.

Sometimes traumas can take some time to heal, and Denzel's case doesn't make any exception; despite everything, he always forces himself to appear more calm than he actually is.

"Did you have a bad nightmare?" I ask him.

He doesn't answer at first, but after a brief pause, he decides to tell the truth.

"Y-yes, I was still scared, and I went here to drink a glass of water," he sounds pretty upset but also tired.

"Would you like to sleep on our bed?" I ask, teasing him.

At first he seems reluctant; he works so hard to look like a grown up man that he tries to maintain this facade to not be considered a kid, but he is one, and there is nothing wrong with it.

He ultimately accepts the request, the look on his face seems a little bit more relieved.

"But don't tell anything to Marlene," I say playfully.

He puts on a smile chuckling, even though his eyes are still sleepy.

We then head upstairs to Cloud's and mine's bedroom, and we lay down on the bed.

After Denzel begins to feel comfortable, I decide to put my right hand over him, holding him in a gentle hug, while with my left hand, I slowly ruffle his hair in a way that reminds a head massage.

This one is an old habit of mine.

Whenever Denzel suffered through the pains of Geostigma to a point in which they were unbearable, I took him in my bed, and sleeping hugged to him, I did my best to ease his pain, although there were no suitable drugs to cure the disease; sometimes I would even use potions to heal him, resulting in reducing his pain to a point of tolerability.

Old habits die hard.

It doesn't take long before he falls asleep.

His expression is really peaceful; it reminds me nothing like the troubled look he assumed whenever the Geostigma pains hit him the hardest.

Still hugging him, I continue to brood onto the same thoughts that kept me awake.

If only Denzel and Marlene also knew all of this.

The sense of guilt is starting to return, crawling on the back of my head.

With a strong effort I shrug these thoughts away; I know that getting into this mindset wouldn't be healthy at all, so I do my best to dodge it off.

This time, however, despite everything, the fatigue overwhelms me.

My eyelids are starting to close, and I eventually fall into a light sleep.

Not much later, still in a state of semi-sleep, I hear a low, hushed sound of boots coming upstairs, and subsequently I feel the weight on the bed shifting on my left.

It must be Cloud.

My eyesight is quite sleepy, but I can distinctly recognize his figure.

He moves quietly, careful to not wake Denzel up.

Then, he covers Denzel with his arm, eventually leaning his hand atop of mine.

Hearing Cloud's presence gives me particular relief, so much that I finally fall into a deep sleep.


The next day passed in a particularly peaceful way; Seventh Heaven is, as usual, filled with people, especially during the evening; Cloud even came back home earlier than usual.

This aspect adds a layer of anxiety to me; I can't help but to think that I should tell him everything, but this isn't the right moment, so I decide to delay it.

I know this could be a defense mechanism that my mind puts up in order to not address the subject, but I have to deal with it, no excuses for me.

After dinner, when the kids go to bed, Cloud and I are alone at last.

Sitting in one of the bar's tables he is still working on his maps, while I wash some dishes.

"So how was your work day Cloud?" I ask casually.

"It was quite tiring; the customers were located in several cities of the continent; this morning I had some deliveries to address in Kalm, Chocobo Farm and Under Junon". He sounds really worn out.

This aspect fuels my sense of guilt.

Maybe this isn't the right moment at all

I can't dodge it anymore, I have to take a small step further.

"Cloud, you should take a rest, overworking won't do no good to you".

He sighs, but I think he knows that I'm right.

He puts his pen down and looking for eye contact he asks

"So… did you see the doctor?".

This question catches me unprepared.

I don't know how to answer to this; I feel like I did in the exam room after the doctor confirmed the result of the pregnancy test.

I break eye contact, feeling unexpectedly embarrassed.

I toss the washing cloth in the sink, leaving the back of the counter and slowly heading toward Cloud's table.

I take a small breath before answering him.

"Y-yeah, I went to see the doctor yesterday…" I finally answer him, fueling his doubt with a vague answer.

Despite being silent, I can notice from some small details in his expression, his concern masked by a glaze of stoicism.

"She has run some tests on me, and she did confirm that I was fine, despite the recent symptoms" I add, still sounding uncertain.

I rise a bit my gaze and notice that Cloud is frowning, he is suddenly become doubtful.

"What about those symptoms? Is she sure that everything is okay?" He asks again.

There is a short pause; I take a moment to stare at the floor, then I briefly contemplate my own thoughts.

"Cloud…" I begin.

I start to battle up with the desire to keep this news to me for a bit longer; I know this isn't right, but I can't just make him worry so much.

I can't. Not now.

We did so much to find a balance, and now we are back into the realms of uncertainty.

One step at the time.

I decide to meet Cloud's piercing gaze one more time; his blue eye infused with Mako are staring through my soul, pleading me to tell him the truth.

"I-I'm pregnant…" I blurt it out, feeling suddenly drained of all my energy.

Cloud doesn't react apparently; his eyes widen a little, but he froze.

His expression is unreadable.

It's strange that somehow, the person that you know the most, can bring out some aspects of himself that you might have never seen.

We've been through a lot of moments of insecurity together, but this is something that we have never truly experienced before today.

I lower my gaze, and I head towards the door, not knowing exactly what to say.

"W-we should take some rest after a day-"

Cloud reaches out to my arm.

"T-Tifa…" his voice tone is low.

Overwhelmed by the stream of emotions I reach out for Cloud, burying my face into his chest, hugging him in a sloppy way.

Cloud's arms wrap me in a firm and protective hug.

Before I can say anything, I realize that my eyes are swelling with tears.

I don't know what to do, but being in Cloud's arms gives me a strong sense of comfort.

"Cloud… I don't know what to do".

"I'm scared, and I don't know how to approach the subject with the kids… I just don't know how-"

"Tifa, we will get through this," he says, still hugging me.

"I'm scared too… but we will get through this," he admits in a weak voice tone, almost like if he lost the last drop of confidence in his voice.

Probably these were the words that I needed to hear the most, from the most important person.

In the daze of the moment I totally lost track of the sense of guilt and the angst that I was feeling prior to this moment.

"We should take some time to process this, and work our way through it" adds Cloud still unsure about the whole situation.

"Cloud, what about the kids? We should tell them the news before I start showing, but…".

"I'm afraid that, because of our past, something might go wrong".

I shouldn't be saying this. Not after what we have been through.

Taking into account the possibility of a miscarriage is quite painful, nevertheless I cannot ignore this possibility, even though it may hurt us.

Cloud understands, but he simply nods, not adding a single word.

I start to think that he is as worried as I am; leaping another time into uncertainty is a tough step, even for us.

Sometimes I'm glad about the fact that we tend to convey what we want to communicate with just actions, filling in for words.

Cloud just continues to hold me in a hug, probably as a reassurance, and probably because he needs it too.

I look up again, encountering Cloud's gaze one more time.

His eyes tell a lot about what he is feeling.

"Thank you…" I mumble in a low voice, the tears are starting to fall on my cheeks, and I do my best to wipe them.

He doesn't answer, but he just offers a faint smile, returning to hug me.

The tears are starting to flow again.

Probably this is all that I needed.

I needed reassurance.

The turbulent events of the past are what they are: a part of the past; I can't still dwell on them; not now.

All that I need now is Cloud's presence.

We will have to start thinking about what to do, but for the moment I need to feel his embrace.

Alone, I probably wouldn't know how to handle all of this.