Hi everyone. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you will have seen the few previews I gave for this story a couple of weeks back. It is a little bit of a longer one - maybe 15 to 20 chapters.

Not all of it has been written yet, so I will aim to update maybe once every week. But to be honest, I missed posting so just decided to bite the bullet.

Please enjoy this :) x

Six Feet Under

There was no doubt about it, Eddie knew that the minute he found out Melissa was having twins, it wasn't going to be easy for him. Even more so when he felt as though he didn't really have anyone to turn to. Or more so, didn't have the person he longed to turn to. Who was of course, Rachel.

So many times when his thoughts had overwhelmed him, Eddie had picked up the phone. Each time considering phoning the only person who truly understood him. But it wasn't fair was it? To confide in Rachel about something that had broken her, that had broken them and what they had. As guilty as Eddie felt saying it, and as much as he adored his daughters - he knew that he would have been wrapped up in Rachel's arms roundabout now if Melissa hadn't turned up pregnant.

22nd of October was when Isabelle and Natasha were born. With Melissa choosing both names. Yet that wasn't the point when they were four weeks early. To be expected with twins of course, but Eddie felt as though he was living his worst nightmare all over again. It seemed as though he was constantly waiting for what happened with Stephen to happen with one of them. Which was a horrific way to think, though Eddie couldn't help it.

What was worse was that Melissa seemed entirely unaffected by it all. Not that he expected her to be the same as him. Just, Eddie kind of hoped that there might have been some shared anxiety with the twins being early. Yet no, he was alone in that sense. There was no way he was telling Melissa about Michael and Stephen the same way he'd told Rachel.

Because it was a rarity for him to wear his heart on his sleeve. Only did that become a consistency with Rachel in his life.

At first Eddie managed to remain marginally positive - not wanting to waste the chance that Rachel had given him, throwing their love away in the process. He wasn't going to lose her for nothing.

So he'd decided to move into Melissa's for the first couple of months of Isabelle and Natasha's lives - sleeping in the spare room. They'd made a rota, which seemed awfully structured but it was the best way. Eddie didn't want to share a bed with Melissa. Not one part of that sat right with him.

The first night he'd had Natasha, Eddie hadn't slept a wink. Even when she was evidently - peacefully sleeping - he couldn't shake the thought of him waking up to find her not breathing. That as well as wondering how Melissa was getting on with Isabelle down the corridor, didn't make for a good mix.

So instead, his thoughts had consumed him. Thoughts of his daughters and Rachel mainly. Thoughts of how he hadn't seen Michael in a while. Of how he'd been an utter failure for the past three months. It just seemed as though his life was a downhill spiral at the moment: and it all kickstarted with the loss of Rachel from his life.

So that was where he found himself now, sitting at his dining room table - nursing a cup of tea and wondering how and if he could put things right. Just his mind kept reverting back to one thing. Wouldn't it be better for him to spend some time alone for a while? Hopefully getting his head together in the process. Because Michael, Natasha and Isabelle deserved more than him as a father with the way he was being.

Trapped was the only way Eddie could describe it. He just knew he had to get away, before he made things worse. His world was caving in on him and fast. Deep down, he knew that Rachel was the only person capable of pulling him back from the precarious position he found himself in.

So he grabbed some paper, a pen and started to write. Having changed his number, he had no choice but to do this.

The entire time he was hoping with all his heart that this plan would work. And that by doing this, he was making the right choice. Eddie couldn't take another blow.

Dear Rachel…

….

Her anger was growing by the second. Two screaming babies and a friend's birthday meal to get to. Melissa was going to be late if Eddie didn't show his face soon. Five times she'd called him and each time it had gone to voicemail. She was going to have to call Philip if he didn't hurry.

Pacing the living room for another five minutes seemed like her plan of action for now though, not sure if Natasha and Isabelle would ever go off to sleep.

Twelve pm was the time as she checked her watch. So calling Philip it was then. At least it was the weekend.

But no, of course he would be with Bolton or Paul or whoever he hung out with these days. Melissa had lost track. All she could think about was what on earth she was going to do now.

Grasping the final straw, she decided to make her way round to Eddie's to see what the hell was going on - with hopes that the twins would drift off to sleep in the car on the way.

It seemed colder than it should be: even for mid November, and Melissa was quick to grab her coat and scarf - cursing Eddie Lawson and the world in general. He was supposed to be helping her, not hindering her.

A sigh of relief was all she could muster when noting that her daughters had in fact, fallen to sleep once they'd arrived at Eddie's. Thank god for small mercies.

What she found odd though, was that his car wasn't on the drive. And that the curtains were drawn in almost every room. Looked like she wasn't getting to her meal any time soon.

Choosing to pull up where Eddie's car would've been, she jumped out - not knocking and going straight for the key he tended to leave under a plant pot.

Taking a glance back at her car to check the girls: she didn't have the energy nor will power to potentially wake them by getting them out. Instead she did a quick scan of the house, stopping when noting the post-it note on his fridge.

I've gone away for a while.

I just need to clear my head.

I'm sorry.

Sorry? That's the least he can be. How could Eddie do this to her? Leaving her in the lurch like this with two twin babies.

Melissa could feel the migraine coming on as she ventured back out to the car, not having a clue what to do next or how she was going to cope on her own.

She wasn't: that much was clear.

It was weird how her thoughts seemed to fill with her sister. Rachel who always seemed to be there for her no matter what mud Melissa dragged her through. But would the same be said now? Now that she had effectively stolen Eddie away from her.

Melissa had a sneaking suspicion it would be. Because as much as she hated to admit it, Rachel was selfless. And Melissa was more than willing to take full advantage of that. As per usual.