"Filthy cow."

- The Succubus in Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

"Cute little kitty."

- The Succubus in Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia

"Thigh-high socks are my absolute territory."

- Margaret Moonlight

"Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr. I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."

"What's that make us?"

"Absolutely nothing!"

- Spaceballs


A set of five slender claws gripped the hem of Charlotte's thigh stocking, pulling lightly on the glossy blue fabric and turning the pearly flesh red from pressure. It was the last time the blood circulating through her legs would be warm enough to make her skin blush.

"Hmm-mm-mm. Interesting hide you're wearing, piggy," the demonic silhouette mused behind the mortal sorceress. She was curiously studying Charlotte's choice of 1940s fashion like a scientist just before cutting open a lab specimen.

"It looks like you can't decide if you want to cover up your flanks or show them off. Does your kind always come in blue?"

"Take it easy on the tulips, Creeperella! I'm not one of your pets!" Charlotte snarled over her shoulder in a voice as sharp as her perfume. She took a lot of pride keeping those girls in shape for her spell rituals.

The undead maiden kept one arm locked rigidly across Charlotte's sternum while the other sized up her leg and explored the territory around the silk trim of her skirt. It was a simple but relatively graceful way for the demoness to keep her prey confined: Any time Charlotte struggled to escape her grip, one of her nails would poke into the soft part of the sorceress's underarm.

"Well," the vampiress gasped, slightly rolling her eyes. "That's no way to speak to your elders. I'll just have to take extra payment out of you."

Her long hair shimmered like scarlet curtains in the flickering torchlight. The light was so dim that sometimes her only discernible features were her auburn locks, her beaming red eyes, and her hungry, perfectly white fangs.

This was the Royal Crypt deep within the castle's foundations, but right now it could have been called the Charlotte Hemoglobin Judgment & Drainage Zone. Her little bookend was backed into an archive of forgotten horrors and she was about to meet her demise at the hands of her pale-skinned pointy-eared hostess.

Two soft warm things pressed against the space between her shoulder blades. The undead noble must have fed regularly, considering she didn't feel like brushing against cold fish. How old was this decrepit redheaded bitch? Four centuries? Five? Charlotte wondered if she had her own human rental service. She looked charmingly young for her age, passing for a woman anywhere between her late 20s and her late teens (it was hard to tell with some of these Medieval dames), but the state of her tomb in the castle catacombs made her seem a little moldy.

"Try not to squeal too much while I take you to slaughter," the grand duchess of erythrocyte removal whispered into Charlotte's ear. "I have some relatives trying to rest in peace down here. If you get too noisy, I'll just have to break your neck and drink every last drop out of your husk. You've been enough of a nuisance waking me up."

Her lips playfully nudged against the mortal's earlobe: A teasing kiss as the prelude to the real kiss.

"It's just the two of us. The night is young. The light is going out. Now let's get your blood pressure down, yes?"

Oh, great. Charlotte had her own Carmilla Karnstein. Or one of Carmilla's demented little sisters, at least.

The defiant battle mage had no interest in attending dinner peacefully. Her arms lowered to her sides as her temper flared in the palms of her hands. One palm filled with an aura of fire. The other filled with ice. A quick smack with her elemental powers would send this nocturnal nympho straight back to He-…

Charlotte screamed as the magic instantly faded from her hands. Her sense of perception dulled until the only thing she was aware of was the two tiny pearl knives stabbing an inch into her neck. The easiest way to dispel any sorceress's innate powers was to break her concentration and contaminate her blood, and this vampire made sure to send countless diseases and hexes sweeping through Charlotte's veins in exchange for her precious magically-charged vitality.

"Mm…" the demoness murmured with her painted lips sealed around Charlotte's throat, sighing sweetly through her nose. The lithe muscles in her neck firmed and straightened in gentle gulping motions as Charlotte's entire body started to slump in her arms.

The vampiress leaned closer into the meal and absorbed her center balance along with her life essence. The second figure behind Charlotte—who was less than a head taller than her to begin with—shrank to her height and pressed into her back until they seemingly became a single figure in the darkness. The vampire noble's cherry red hair swirled together with Charlotte's chocolate brown hair in shiny flowing ripples.

Charlotte's screaming quickly alleviated as her body temperature cooled. Her voice faded into painful whimpering. A weak groan of defeat. A submissive grumble.

Just as quickly as the undead noble had wrapped her fangs around Charlotte's neck, she opened her mouth and rolled her head back when she was finished eating. Her eyes were closed as she sighed. Her lips were drawn in a wide satisfied grin. She wiggled her lower jaw like it was full of mouthwash, savoring every lasting hint of Charl?t à la Mode.

Charlotte stumbled in her captor's arm like a drunken ragdoll. The sorceress's breathing was dangerously faint. Her face was completely obscured behind the long brown hair swept over her dangling head.

The well-nourished lady puckered her lips and blew coldly on the mage's neck to dry up her wounds. When the she was done, all that was left were two small purplish-black marks sitting on the raised part of Charlotte's left jugular: The vampiress's special branding.

Charlotte stirred like a cursed sleeper waking up into a bad nightmare. She raised her head in silence, letting her hair fall away from her face to reveal her predictable new features: Pulsing ruby eyes and a pair of matching white spikes poking over her lower lip. All she could think about was how Jonathan really messed up big time.

"Hm. Not a bad flavor for much a mediocre piglet," the vampiress chatted behind her shoulder. "How was it for you, dear?"

"Simply magical," Charlotte's lips hissed with malevolence.


Author's note: That was neat.