Marlena Visits John in Napa

By Cordelia50

In this story, the original Roman's disappearance followed the same timeline as on the show, as did Marlena's. She was presumed dead four years. But, although RoJohn dated some women during that time, there was no Isabella in his life, and thus no Brady. So when Marlena returned, they started their life again -until Roman came back. When Roman displaced John, John left Salem instead of staying, so there was no affair and no Belle. John stayed away per his agreement with Marlena. Also, in this story, John's actual identity is different than it was on the show. And, there isn't any rapid aging of the children.

Now imagine the time being right for Marlena to see John again...

Chapter 1

Marlena Evans walked tentatively into the outer office, through a varnished wooden double door marked "President". A dark-haired woman aged about 50 years looked up.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"I hope so. Is Mr. Black in? I'd like to speak with him if he's free."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Black is out. Did he have an appointment with you?"

Marlena, already very nervous about even stepping foot here, felt partial relief at this reprieve, but disappointment rode along. She just shook her head, her mouth suddenly dry.

The executive secretary smiled and offered her something to drink. "Some water would be good," Marlena gratefully managed. It was a fry-eggs-on-the-pavement hot August day, and even in the air-conditioned office, Marlena felt overheated.

Evelyn Kaine crossed to a little bar area and poured a glass of ice water which she then handed to Marlena.

Evelyn began working for John Black nearly three years ago, and this wasn't the first time a beautiful woman had come to see him. This one, though, was unique. Evelyn had seen, in the right-hand, upper drawer of his desk, a framed photo of himself, somewhat younger, this woman, and three children. Diplomatic secretary that she was, Evelyn had never asked him about it, and he had never mentioned it himself. Instead, a string of women had been on his arm - most of whom he'd only taken out once or twice. They were distractions for him. He spent most of his time focused on his business - winemaking.

But one had been different. About a year and a half ago, he'd married Grace Collings, an enologist at the winery. Evelyn had thought it a good match - their love for each other showed. Ten months later though, Grace died from brain cancer. Evelyn was not sure whether they knew about the cancer before they married, or whether it was diagnosed after. With Grace gone, he'd returned to his earlier habit of casual dates, even less likely to marry again, she thought.

Turning her attention back to this stunning woman, Evelyn's curiosity bubbled: who was this woman and why was she here? But her professional demeanor won the day. "Would you like to wait? Mr. Black is expected back within the hour."

Marlena bit her lip subconsciously and let out a small huff of air. "Yes, I think I should," she answered, giving the secretary a gentle, almost weary, smile. "Thank you." She turned to the comfortable sofa along the wall. Sitting, she idly perused the color pictures of Grafton Wineries that decorated this outer office. She sat up straight, as if she might bolt at any moment.

The phone rang and Evelyn became immersed in the call.

Marlena sat quietly, but her mind, her emotions were all a jumble. She fenced mentally with herself - as she often did. Should I have come? We haven't seen or spoken to each other in over three years. But here I am in Napa, California, in John's new life. I have no right to be sitting here. I'm the one who made it impossible for him to stay in Salem. I'm the one who broke his heart into a million shards, demanding he stay away from me and the kids. All so we could try to rebuild life with Roman. I left him with nothing.

Gazing unseeingly out the window behind the secretary, Marlena saw, but didn't take in, the rich green vines stringing along the valley and up into mild foothills. Rather, her mind's eye preoccupied her with the image of John that last time they'd spoken. She saw the set of his jaw and the unshed wetness in his eyes. She saw the utter defeat in him, the anguish that had gripped him, as it had her. Hearing her ultimatum, he had finally given one short nod before turning on his heel and striding away. Later the next day, she learned that he'd left Salem. His loft was shut and empty.

John kept his word never to initiate contact with any of them. But Marlena knew that Carrie, Eric, and Sami had not abided by the no contact rule. Searching out how to get in touch with him, they had called him when Roman and Marlena weren't around. They had written to him too. That had prompted John to send them birthday and Christmas cards which the twins hid in their rooms. Sami and Eric were almost twelve now, and Carrie was out of the house and living with her new husband, Austin. They had not really benefited at all from Marlena's intention to reunite their original family. Neither had she.

Lost in her unhappy reveries, Marlena didn't hear the quick, sure steps of the man who belonged in the inner office beyond. He hurried in, halting before Evelyn's desk. "Mrs. Kaine, would you get me George Hansen on the -" He stopped when Evelyn rose and gestured toward his visitor.

"A lady here to see you, Mr. Black."

Not turning yet, John was a little irritated. He didn't have the time now for a woman. The vines were about to give up their fruit and he needed to be ready to pull in the full harvest. But then his finely tuned nose, which was a great help to him in wine-tasting, got a whiff of a perfume he knew...

Meanwhile, Marlena's heart was pounding. She got to her feet and then promptly feared she might faint as a wave of light-headedness hit her. There he was. Not eight feet from her. The same sonorous voice. A little more grey in his hair, which was cut short at the moment. He'd rolled up his light blue work shirt sleeves to mid-forearm - one of his endearingly sexy customs - and perspiration darkened the shirt at his armpits. He exuded strength, both physical and inner. She stopped breathing when he did move to face her.

John would know that perfume and underlying femininity anywhere. His brain told him it couldn't be. But there she was. He gaped at the vision before him. It was Doc. Here in his office. Where she'd never been before.

She was wearing a light cotton summer dress, a mellow yellow with small, light green feathery leaves as the pattern. Her blonde hair dropped to her shoulders, impeccably styled. Her face was the same incredibly beautiful one he'd turned away from on that fateful day.

He stated the obvious, "Marlena." He hadn't said that name out loud since the day he left Salem. He let the three syllables roll off his tongue with relish - and wonder.

"Yes, John." Marlena offered a smile as she fought to still her rioting emotions enough to be able to have a sensible conversation with him. She willed her pulse to calm down. She stood straighter and took a deep breath. Then she said, "May I talk with you. In your office?"

Evelyn, who had been watching this reunion, knew enough to take her cue. She marched to the door to the inner office and opened it. Then she stepped back.

John nodded. Indicating the door, he said, "After you."

Now both of them had to make their feet work, which they each did with some effort.

Marlena stepped into the masculine room. It seemed more functional than ceremonial. There were a few more images of the winery on these walls. The books on the shelves were about wines and winemaking. The furniture was deeply polished wood. The desk, which had few papers on it, probably was black walnut. There was one photo on the desktop, near the phone.

Marlena did not know much about John's life here. But Eric had told her one day when she asked him what was wrong, "Mom, John said he was at his wife's funeral yesterday." Marlena assumed the framed picture was his deceased wife. But since it was facing away from her, she could not be sure.

This office too had a couch. John, following Marlena at a decent distance, encouraged her to sit there. He turned one of the two visitors' chairs in front of his desk toward her and sat too. He wasn't sure his legs, strong as they were, would keep him upright now. Evelyn had closed the door, so their privacy was ensured.

But now, alone together, they both felt awkward and unsure. John spoke first, "Where are my manners? Would you like something to drink? Perhaps you'd like to try a sip of one of our wines?

Marlena knew she needed to keep a clear head. "No, thank you, John. Not right now anyway. I'm sure you make delicious wines here, but I'd like to talk a little first if you don't mind."

"Okay. Not sure what there is to say. We've both been silent for a lot of years."

"I know, John. And it's my fault. I'm so sorry -"

"It doesn't matter. I don't need your apologies. In fact, you've got nothing to apologize for." he interrupted more sharply than he'd intended. He didn't want to revisit all that. He didn't want to break open the wounds he had so ruthlessly closed and left in his subconscious to fester unattended. He wanted to change the subject, badly. "How are Carrie and the twinners?"

Marlena smiled, but he could see sadness in her eyes. "Eric and Sami are very impatient to grow up. I'm not sure what they'll be like when they reach puberty. And Carrie and Austin eloped in May. I, frankly, wasn't expecting that."

"Yeah, must have been a shock. You think this Austin kid's a good match for her?"

"I do think so, yes. I certainly pray so. Carrie said she sent you a wedding photo, so you know that Austin's quite a handsome young man. They seem to be genuinely in love."

"Mm, hm. She told me a little about him. She does seem head-over-heels. But she's usually got good judgment. Hope he does too." His mouth quirked. "Sami seems to have a little crush on him."

Rolling her eyes, Marlena said, "Oh, boy. Does she. She looks at him all doe-eyed whenever he's around." She was surprised that they were having this fairly easy conversation about the kids.

"Eric said they sent you the photo of him and Sami in their costumes for the school play - the one in which Sami played Queen Guinevere and Eric was one of Knights of the Round Table."

He chuckled. "They did, they did. They looked the parts to a tee." A pause, and his face sobered. "Surprised they told you that. Thought I was the number one forbidden subject in your house. Wasn't Roman upset?" Damn. The second it was out of his mouth, he wanted to stuff if all back in. There was no point in bitterness.

But Marlena did not rise to the bait. She studied John, a bit of the psychiatrist in her surfacing where it probably shouldn't. Now, she noticed his discomfiture, his uncertainty about why she would be here. Then she said, "John, please listen. I have something important to tell you. It's why I came."

Eyeing her speculatively, in a low tone, he replied, "Okay, Doc. Shoot."

Instantly she was catapulted back in time. First to their conversation in which she told him she was going back to Roman - the guy who had come back from the "dead" and whose DNA proved that John was not Roman Brady. Then, to their last talk when he'd said recklessly and hopelessly, "You might as well get out my old service revolver and shoot me dead."

Shuddering slightly to shake off that awful memory, she started, "John." She darted a look at her hands, took a deep breath, then looked back at his watchful face. "Shane came to see me. He had some news." She furrowed her brow and steadied her voice. "Maybe I better back up a little." Pause - and no interruption from John. "Things didn't work out the way I thought they might after you left. The kids and Roman did not re-bond. Roman and I did not regain anything close to what I thought we'd had before. He was always away on some lengthy ISA mission. He didn't really return to the cop shop. He avoided us all, but especially me. I thought it was because he couldn't get past the obvious barrier that I and the kids had shared our family with someone else - you."

Not sure why Marlena seemed to be giving exaggerated emphasis to Roman's name, he considered asking, but instead, when he spoke he said coolly. "Stands to reason, I guess. It's not an easy thing to think you've been replaced." He left unsaid the rest of that thought - that he had been in the same predicament.

Chagrin passed over Marlena's face. But John continued quietly, "Still, Roman's a fool not to take full advantage of being with you and the kids. It's not like you and I ever did anything after he returned. I know we were tempted, but we didn't. Once you knew, you were faithful to him."

Now he ruefully chuffed, "It nearly killed us not to give in. Honestly, if I hadn't left when I did, I don't think I would have cared whether Roman was hurt or not." He brought his hand up and pinched his mouth, then rubbed it, an action she remembered well. He then shifted so his upper body leaned forward toward her. "It was a shitty time. That's a fact." He looked down at his hands between his knees.

"John, yes, it was terrible. Especially for you." Marlena knew she had to get on with it before they both wallowed in the pain they felt back then. "But I'm not bringing all that up to hurt you."

Suddenly though, she just couldn't make herself get to the crux of her visit. She took a side track again, and even though she was annoyed with what she almost considered babbling, she said, "John, you did make a good life for yourself here, right? I mean, when you found out that you were not Roman Brady, you were able to find your own actual roots - that you were born right here in Napa?"

John was willing to indulge this meandering. "Yeah, The evidence is that I was born John Grafton, right here. I apparently grew up here. When I was eighteen and had just started college, I was involved in a boating accident and declared missing and thought dead. I never returned home - until recently. There's some evidence too that I was plucked out of the water by one of Stefano DiMera's craft."

"How do you know this?"

Not really looking at her, John replied, "Shane Donovan found some records at one of DiMera's hideouts the ISA raided, and forwarded them to me."

John continued, "According to those papers, it seems once I had recovered from my injuries, he tried to force me into working for his crime syndicate. When I wouldn't, he brainwashed me, and erased all memories of my family and past. I still got away from him several times, and lived under a bunch of aliases, doing various things until his goons caught me again. Finally, he erased all the intervening memories again and implanted some memories of Roman Brady. How he did that, I have no idea. Then I was sent to Salem, and you know the rest."

"And then, you were able to come full circle back to your family home and business." She smiled at him encouragingly as he looked up at her, still kind of bent over, elbows on his legs.

"Plus," she added quickly, "You married here. Eric told me." Her face turned solemn. "He also told me that your wife passed away from cancer. I'm so sorry, John."

Straightening up, he said, "Thanks. She was a good woman. I was very lucky to have her. But we knew we might not have long. She had been treated once already for brain cancer a few years earlier. We knew it could come back. I wanted her to be happy for as long as she had."

Abruptly, he reached, without looking, behind himself and swiped the photo off his desk. He glanced at it, used his left hand to dust it off, and then reached forward and handed it to Marlena. At the same time, he told her, "That's Grace."

Pause.

"And that's our son, Thomas Christopher Black. He's nine months old now."

Marlena was floored. "Oh, my gosh, John! I had no idea you had a son! He's beautiful!"

The photo wasn't professional. Marlena thought John had snapped it because he wasn't in the picture. Instead, Grace sat in a chair outside somewhere, holding a little bundle with a cute knit hat on his head. Her face could be seen clearly. It looked as though she had lost a lot of weight, not just after pregnancy but probably due to the advancing cancer. But her hair, a little thin, was auburn, and when she was healthy, she had obviously been a very pretty woman. She still exuded a lively energy in the photo, and she smiled widely, having her son in her arms. The sleeping child looked to be only a few days old.

John shook his head, but had a twinkle in his eye, " Women! Boys aren't beautiful. That's for daughters. Besides, he was only six days old in that photo. He still looked a little red and scrunched then." Then he smiled proudly. "He's my little partner in life now."

Marlena felt the tears come. "Oh, John. John. He IS beautiful. I hope you'll let me meet him."

Seeing her crying now out of joy for his having a son overwhelmed John unexpectedly, and he felt tears, long repressed, come to him too. It felt good to give outlet to his long repressed emotions - for the end of his brief life with Grace, for the son he now had and cherished, and for this meeting again with Marlena, the love of his life.

He got to his feet, took a couple steps and gently pulled Marlena up and into his arms. He held her close. That is, until his phone rang. Carefully, he disentangled himself from her, muttering, "If I don't get this, Evelyn, might come in here." He snapped the receiver up and said impatiently, "What?"

Marlena found tissues in her purse and, using one on herself, she passed one across the desk to John who also still had tears on his cheeks.

John quickly ended the call and then he buzzed Evelyn and told her not to allow any more calls through and not to disturb them. He then gave Marlena an appraising look. "Doc, you didn't come to talk about my past. What did you come for?"

Standing on the other side of the desk from him, Marlena said, "As I mentioned, Shane came to see me. He had two pieces of news. The first one was the man who came and told us all he was Roman was not."

"WHAT?" John couldn't believe what she'd just said. "What do you mean?"

"That man was a plant. He was sent to Salem to destroy our lives, John. By Stefano, we assume. He never cared about the children or me. He didn't come to have a life with us. He came to destroy the good life you and I and the children had." Now, Marlena wanted to cry again. Just hearing herself saying this crushed her soul.

John felt a rushing in his ears. He thought he might pass out. This couldn't be. He leaned heavily on the desktop. "What about the DNA tests? The ones that said I wasn't Roman but he was,"

Marlena's eyes grew cold. "It was a set-up. His DNA really didn't match the Bradys', but someone was paid off to say it was so."

SLAM!

She jumped involuntarily as John's open palm slapped down hard onto the desk. "DAMN it. I knew we should have had those tests checked and rechecked at more labs!" He turned his body, hands on his hips, looking out his window, shaking his head.

She wanted to go to him, but knew she should not right now. She licked her lips and quietly pointed out, "John. We did have several labs do the tests independently. What we didn't figure on was that people at all of those labs would be bought off to fake the results. Or, it could have been that some operative of Stefano's switched the Brady DNA samples to samples from the imposter's family so, of course they would have matched."

He turned around, arms crossed, and perched on the window sill, anger and frustration playing his lean features. In a low growl, he said, "How did Shane get to the truth then?"

Her legs shaking again, Marlena lowered herself into the chair John had vacated and angled herself toward him. "He didn't. None of us did. Not until it became so evident to us all that Roman [Marlena used air quotes when she said the name this time] was not going to ever take his place again in the family."

John realized now why she kept exaggerating "Roman."

She continued, "Finally, Shane secretly had a fresh test done right before his eyes by a doctor he trusted implicitly. When the test came back, he had other labs do the same tests and then the scam was over."

Looking agonized, John said simply, "Shit. I should have done that. I SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT."

Quickly, Marlena rose and stood before him, grasping his bare arms, "No. You can't blame yourself. You can't. Back then, when we first did the tests, Stefano's people were watching every move. Shane was only successful because neither Stefano nor the imposter knew that after all this time, another test was being done."

He didn't look the least convinced.

"But there's more, John." Marlena had to tell him the rest. "Shane said they found the remains of Roman - the real Roman. They found them on one of Stefano's many islands that they raided - just recently. The Roman I married died very shortly after he had that battle with Stefano. He may have lived for a brief span - maybe long enough for Stefano to somehow harvest the memories that he later implanted in you, but then he died, according to the medical examiner. Before you came to Salem." A shudder ran down her spine as she spoke these awful words.

John's face underwent a range of emotions as this news soaked in. Shock, pity, anger, sorrow.

He stopped leaning on the window sill and gently put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Marlena. I know you loved him very much," he said in her ear. Unconsciously, he gently stroked her hair. After a few moments, because she didn't really respond, he released her.

Still reeling from this news, John kind of collapsed into his own desk chair and waved Marlena back into the other one. Taking a breath he asked, "Listen, what happened to this fake Roman? Did they catch him?"

"No, he's still at large. He's on the run. I guess he knows that we know he's a fake. I don't think we'll ever see him again."

John drummed on the desk for a moment, thinking. "I'm sorry," he said again, "I'm sure this must be a lot for you and the kids to take in. How are they doing? I guess that's why they haven't been very talkative lately? Were they waiting for you to break the news to me?"

"Well, we've had a little time to adjust. You're the one who is just learning it. And, yes, I asked them not to say anything."

She gave him a rueful look, and fixed her eyes on his. This was probably the hardest part for her. "John. I wasn't married to that fake Roman. But I thought I was. And, as you know, we did live as husband and wife for a while. He kept up pretenses until you left. Then he made himself so scarce. I did think he was Roman."

John looked away, but not before she caught the pained look in his blue eyes. Marlena thought she shouldn't have said that. But she had a reason. She needed to know if John could deal with that fact. Marlena knew John was a man with an extraordinary ability to love when he wanted to. She knew he was a man who had once loved her unconditionally, and who had loved her and Roman's children, even after he found out they were not his biological offspring after all.

John worked his jaw - another characteristic Marlena remembered so well. Then he looked back at her. Holding her eyes with his now, he got up and as he did so, he opened his right-hand desk drawer and pulled out another picture frame. Holding it face down, he came over to her and, with his free hand, he took her hand and lightly pulled her to her feet. He was standing about two feet in front of her. Then he gave her the picture. The one of her, Carrie, Sami, Eric, and him.

"Oh, John." She felt her heart breaking again. Breaking for the lost years. For the silence between them. For trying to drive him out of her heart. For hurting him so much.

Peering at her intensely, John said, "I know why you just said that." His voice was low and, despite herself, Marlena felt a tinge of sensuality in it. Marlena dropped her head so he couldn't see her eyes. He gently raised a finger under her chin and brought her head back up. "So let me tell you this. You thought he was your husband whom you'd loved, come back from the dead. You wanted to do right by him. That's a good and noble intention.

"He, that monster, is the one who did something wrong. He raped you because he went to bed with you under false pretenses." John moved away and said grimly, "I should never have left Salem. I should never have left you alone with him."

He looked at her, "You did nothing wrong. You were the victim, Marlena, of another of DiMera's evil schemes."

Closing the distance again, she put her arms around his neck with her mouth next to his ear. "Thank you for everything you just said. I love you so much. I always have, since the first time I met you. There is no one whom I have ever loved more than I loved and love you. I've missed you so much these last three and a half years. They've seemed like an eternity."

John wasn't saying anything, so she pulled back so she could see his face. She felt uneasiness ripple through her because he seemed so impassive. She decided she needed to take a step back; that she had just assumed too much. She continued, reserve back in her voice, "Of course, I know after everything that's happened, we can't go back to what we had. But I hope you will now feel free to see Sami, Eric, and Carrie again. And I, and I think they, would really like to be a part of your son's life too if you'll allow it."

Abruptly, John also pulled back a little and said, "Are you planning on getting a divorce and an annulment?"

Marlena stared up in confusion at his unwavering face. "I'm sorry? What do you mean?"

"You and I were married. We were married after your prior husband died - you just told me that. The man who pretended to be Roman - after me, of course - " he gave a baleful snort, "wasn't your husband. That makes me your lawful husband and it makes you my lawful wife."

She relaxed a bit and nodded. "You're a smart man, John Black. You're right. I even had legal advice to make certain. Even though we married with you using the name Roman Brady, the law considers the marriage valid because we both believed you were Roman. We married each other, regardless of the names used."

One of John's thumbs reached up to wipe away the remaining tears on her face, and then he put both his big hands on her shoulders, resting them there but not heavily. His face came closer to hers as he asked in his husky voice, "So what's all this about visiting the kids and letting you have a part in Tommy's life?"

"John. I'm springing this all on you. You haven't had time to really process it. You've got a life here, and we've still got one in Salem. I just don't want to ask you for anything right now because you do need time to think about it." Then she added, "And, no, John, I have no intention of obtaining a divorce or an annulment."

John sighed. "The therapist is out again, Doc?" Before she could reply, he continued, "You said, we can't go back. And you're right. We can't."

Marlena's face fell. Hearing that from him was a dagger in her heart, even though she'd known when she came that a genuine reunion was a long shot.

Seeing her reaction, he said, "I'm not finished. We can't go back. But we can go forward. You just said you loved me. You don't know how often I've longed to hear those words again. You said them often when we were together. And I said them too. So I'm saying them now: I love you, Marlena. You are the one who gave me meaning when I didn't know who I was. You are the one who made me whole. You are the one who stood by me when others wouldn't. You gave me your love and yourself wholeheartedly, and I knew we were soulmates. It killed me to walk away from you. Really, I would have preferred a bullet to the pain of that loss."

"John -" Marlena desperately wished she could erase that suffering he'd endured, especially since she had keenly felt at least a large portion of the same.

"You're right, sweetheart, that I need time to process this. I need to see - with you, of course - how to make this work. This winery does mean something to me. But I love you and the kids. And I'd love Tommy to become part of that family. Hell, who knows, maybe we could even have a child of our own!"

With that jubilant declaration of hope, he hugged her tightly, and she held him just as tightly as she could. They fit together just the way they always had. After a few moments, John moved in for one of their classic kisses, and they clung to each other and their hearts sang together.